Worry

Desperate Housewife Syndrome… Signs, Symptoms & Solutions

If you fear you’re on the verge of having desperate housewife syndrome, read on for tips and ideas on how to help.

Long before anyone filmed anything on Wisteria Lane, the desperate housewife syndrome was in full bloom.

All over the world, moms are wearing pajamas at 11 am and wondering how the moms around them seem to find time to match their fingernail polish with their outfit.

Outfit? I haven’t had one of those in forever!

desperate housewife syndrome can affect us all, here's how to recognize it and get out of it

When was the last time I wore an “outfit,” anyway?

Do jeans and a T-shirt count as an outfit? I think an outfit probably has to have a cute belt, cute shoes or cute earrings to make the cut.

Well, I do have a cute headband on!

Wait, that’s only to mask the fact I haven’t washed my hair in three days.

I’m going to be real with you, times can get desperate at home. If distance separates your family from you, as does mine, it can be difficult to find stress reduction and relief.

First things first, you need to know that the desperate housewife syndrome can appear out of the blue. Even if you love staying at home with the kids and they are well-behaved and sleeping fine.

Are you tired of saying you’re just a hot mess (on the surface), but actually deeply anxious, fearful, or even depressed? Hopefully this post will help!

Desperate (adj): feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with.

Signs and Symptoms of the Desperate Housewife Syndrome:

Pajamas are your mom “uniform.” Leading you to believe you’re just sloppy.
Daily habits have been abandoned. You used to shave, wash your hair, make the bed, tidy the house, etc. The energy to get them done just isn’t there anymore.
You resent watching your husband leave the house each morning and are waiting for him at the door when he gets home.
It’s been hard to find the energy to connect with the kids and often struggle being a present parent.
You feel insecure around working mothers because you don’t feel you have anything to talk about. This may be because you’re behind on current and world events… though you are quite caught up on what’s happening on Facebook.
Your temper arises quickly as you seem to get angry at the drop of a hat.
Every mood or attitude of a family member is blown out of proportion for you. You take their behavior so personally, even though you know it’s silly.

[Read more…]

5 Instant Stress Busters For Overwhelmed Moms

If you find being a mom quite stressful and HATE that feeling of being out of control? Here are some stress busters you can do that’ll give you instant relief!

Now, I can see it coming.

I can feel it with about an hour’s warning.

It’s like I know… if everything keeps going like it is, then in about an hour I’m going to lose it. I’m probably going to yell and get mad and frustrated at dumb things.

I am going to be overwhelmed. And, I’m going to take it out on whoever is around me. Now… obvvvvviously I don’t think it’s a good thing to get so overwhelmed I struggle to be a nice person.

That’s why I am glad I can feel the red flags now.

When I’m about an hour or two away from a brief burnout, I will now try to do one of the following things.

Or two, if I’m lucky!

5 Immediate Stress Busters That Help You Feel Back In Control

So, before we dig in to the stress busters… one of the main reasons we can feel so overwhelmed is because we look at our circumstances and feel powerless.

Just as children act out when they feel powerless, so do we.

So, that’s why the following things help us feel less stressed nearly instantly — they give us back a feeling of personal power.

#1 – Throw Things Away

When I’m feeling stressed, I’ll grab a trash bag (even if I plan to donate, not throw away) and will go from room to room looking for things we no longer need. I’ll separate things to donate from things to trash, and I’ll get moving.

“Clutter is symptomatic of delayed decision making.” ― Cynthia Kyriazis

I make sure I don’t get rid of things we *actually* need just because I’m stressed, but I use the stress and overwhelm to motivate myself to do a little decluttering.

The last time I did this I wound up with an entire trash bag full of clothes that no longer fit my kids that I’m able to donate.

Truly, I felt instantly better. Lighter.

Decluttering might seem like a buzzword these days, but remember, research shows that the benefits of having a more clutter free environment are simply too beneficial to be ignored.

Read: Taking A Social Media & Phone Reset For The New Year

#2 – Clean Main Surfaces

For me, one stress trigger that is very powerful is seeing MESSES everywhere. It’s why our kids clean up their rooms (the South African way) a few times a day.

It’s why we do chores a few times every day.

True story: I can handle dust because you can’t actually see dust unless you’re up very close and it’s very rare that I’m up close with furniture. My husband – on the other hand – notices dust. He will ignore 5,325 things on the counters and see the crumbs. I will clean off all 5,325 things and ignore the crumbs. ??

clean countertop as a stress buster for moms

“Tidy people don’t over decorate. They value a cleared off surface more than a highly decorated surface.” The Nester

Honestly, having cleared off counters helps you feel visually organized and this gives an immediate sense of peace and power.

It’s true.

If you don’t believe me… go clean off your counters and tabletops then report back.

#3 – Do A House Sweep

One of the biggest areas of overwhelm for moms is the House. when we are feeling On The Verge, home-related stress busters go a long way.

A house sweep is when you quickly go from room to room and put things back to rights. If you have big baskets or toy organizers in each room as I do, then this is a cinch.

75% of the things on our floors are toys. Even your kids can clean up quickly and easily with this method.

Macro-organization = Giving everything a specific basket, drawer, or home

Micro organization = Organizing things within their specific baskets, drawers, or homes

Classifications by yours truly.

If you struggle with having an untidy home, I suggest you focus on macro-organization and do house sweeps. One nightly evening sweep keeps our home company ready within 15 minutes basically any time of the day.

Read: An Evening Sweep: The Easy Way To A Tidy Home

#4 – Get Take Out And Occupy Kids

Often we are brain fried around 4:00 p.m.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Most evenings are saved because I’ve planned our meals and the kids can go outside to release that energy, but on my emergency days when I’m super stressed… I will get take out and occupy the kids and I will not feel guilty about it.

Find healthy take out options in your area. You’ll feel a lot less guilty about getting take out if it’s more like a home cooked meal than fast food.
If you are more low tech like me, audio books are a good option. If you feel the need for this type of activity daily, books are a great way to get in read alouds. (Here’s a list of great Christian books for kids)
Schedule TV time here. If you have daily TV viewing, I’d suggest you put it into your routine during the times of day you’re most stressed. Don’t “waste” that screen time in the morning if you’re mainly stressed in the evenings.

Read: 5 Instant Ways To Get Hyper Kids To Settle Down

#5 – File Away (Or Throw Away) Papers

If you have a place (kitchen counter anyone?) that collects papers… do something with them.

Clearing out paperwork is extremely satisfying and helps clear your mind. Even if you don’t think about those papers all that often, the act of dealing with them automatically helps you feel productive, accomplished, and more peaceful.

Separate papers into three categories:

Papers that need action.
Papers that need to be filed.
And papers to be thrown away.

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

Throw away all junk mail, magazines, or papers you’d *like* to do something with, but know you probably won’t. File papers that need to be filed because – while annoying – this isn’t actually hard.

Papers that require action are now left. If you can do it within 2 minutes, do it. If not, put into a pile and pencil in a time to finish these papers into your planner.

➡️The sooner you do it, the better you’ll feel.

Read: The Ultimate Guide To Having A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love

(Bonus!) Finish Something That’s Been Left Undone

THIS IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE stress buster.

I’m a doer and I’m driven to start a lot of projects. I’m also driven to finish.

This means that I have lots of projects spinning and always feel a low level of stress until they’re completed.

If you have a big list of projects, cross something off it.

The other day I was feeling about an hour out from a Mommy Breakdown.
I looked around at a few unfinished household projects and decided I would tackle one. I sent all the kids outside, got the stain, and worked fast to finish a bunch of wood that was on my project list.
The kids didn’t have any major crises and I finished that job. My mood turned immediately around.

Find your Thing, Mama!

These stress busters are things that instantly help me de-stress, but they may not work for you.

I am a DOER, so doing helps me.

If you are a BE-ER… I encourage you to find your equivalent of things that’ll help you to feel less stressed and less overwhelmed, so you can enjoy the family you love so much.

Go forth and conquer, friend!

What are some relaxing things I can do to de-stress?

Anything that rejuvenates you can relieve stress, like reading, meditating, taking a bath, going on a walk, or taking a nap.

Does self-care count as a stress buster?

Absolutely! Self-care activities like exercising, painting your nails, doing your hair or putting on makeup, or anything else you like to do to to take care of yourself. Self-care will oftentimes also prevent us from being stressed as quickly, which is a win-win!

Sources:

Factors affecting mothers happiness

How alone time leads to happiness

Risk factors for postnatal depression

::

Mom Burnout… A Hard But Freeing Truth

Stay at home mom burnout is real. In our quest to do it all we end up having less to give to the people who brought us home to begin with.

I stood in front of a super hot stove top – stirring sauce that was nearly bubbling over – with my fussy 1 year old on my hip.

He would not allow me to put him down and cook with leisure. You see, I had tried several times… it wasn’t happening. Also, he was teething, clingy, and wanted mommy.

Don’t get me wrong, I love holding my babies. The problem was that I had a lot more to do to finish dinner and I needed my other hand.

I stood there in the kitchen with my baby on my hip and my stove top running over…

Then, I had an epiphany.

All this time I’ve been telling myself that I need to get everything done on time, perfectly, and without breaking a sweat.

Mom burnout was just a way of life because I never could get everything perfectly in order.

I used to think that maybe, just maybe, if I made a few tweaks and bought a few gadgets then everything would miraculously look like Martha Stewart’s Vineyard house.

That’s a lie because doing everything perfectly is impossible. It’s a lie that will cause us to have mom burnout. You see, we can’t possibly do it all!

We can’t.

In fact, the hard truth is this… being a mother is limiting.

Feeling the Limits of a Mother

I am limited…

There, I said it…

First of all, somewhere along the way we bought into the idea that we have to be perfect.

Secondly, We honestly believe that we can be great moms, great homemakers, great volunteers, great workers, great friends, great wives, and great thinkers.

All at once…

We think that excelling (however we define that) in every area of life is the minimum standard. The truth is, we can even manage to hold this idea together pre-motherhood because we are in control of most aspects of our life.

And then we have kids…

Read: The Real Reason Moms Are Tired… It’s Not What You Think

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

Kids are Limiting

I wasn’t a mom long before I realized that kids are little humans with great needs and the inability to meet those needs… I have felt the limiting power of the kids and experienced mom burnout.

A mom’s main household objective, for quite a few years, is to simply meet the basic physical and emotional needs of our little ones.

If we’re honest, this is limiting.

Let me give you some examples…

First of all, bad dreams, teething pain, or baby’s sleeping habits will limit the amount of sleep I receive.

What my children are able and willing to eat cause my cooking to be limited.

My husband willingness to let me get away limits the amount of alone time I get.

Childcare, available funds, and my energy limit my hobbies and simple joys.

Vacation options are limited because who wants to drag 5 kids (under 6) through the Met, the Louvre, or the Smithsonian?

Lastly, the amount of work I get done is limited to how much time I’m willing and able to spend away from the kids.

You see where I’m going?

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

Start Now

Limits are Natural and Good (to avoid Mom Burnout)

While having my epiphany over the boiling stovetop… I actually felt relief.

Relief happened when I least expected it.

Consequently, pressure and stress come from thinking we can, and therefore should, do all things well.

On the flip side, relief, grace, and freedom come from understanding out natural limits. Realistic limits on our time, resources, and capacity can stop us from having mom burnout.

Relief came to me because I embraced these limits and lived in the moment.

Read: Unusual Mom Burnout Symptoms That Are Quite Common

Limits help us make good choices and avoid mom burnout…

First of all, I choose to spend my time wisely because the amount of leisure time I have is limited.

Becoming distracted by social media is pointless because I know my limits on work time that day.

Furthermore, my cooking is done in a limited time so I will choose easy recipes.

My ability to remain sane is limited so I will say no to opportunities, events, or responsibilities that stretch me Past The Point.

Last but not least, I am limited in my willingness to constantly clean the house so I will get rid of unnecessary clutter and unused toys.

Read: Kids Are Not In The Way, They Are The Way

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

We Don’t Want to Regret

Embracing limits is so important because when we move at breakneck speed, we are going to reach mom burnout…the end of our rope!

At end of our rope is crankiness, stress, anxiety, anger, yelling, weepiness, overwhelm, and depression.

Furthermore, If we don’t embrace our natural and seasonal limits it will lead to mom burnout. We will achieve mom burnout by making sure everything gets done Perfectly and Presentably.

Undoubtably, this will leave you with no energy left for what that caused out limits in the first place…

Our families.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

Start Now

Watch for these signs that you haven’t embraced your limits. Mom burnout may happen soon…

You feel resentful when your children are “needy.”

Stress is a general rule.

You feel like life is running you, not the other way around.

There’s a deep desire for change, but you don’t know where to begin.

You’re frequently looking for an escape (probably with your cell phone).

Not measuring up to other’s standards cause you to feel guilt and shame.

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

Read: Why Moms Lose Their Identity And How To Get It Back

The good news is this…

You can take a long hard look at your own limits today and make a change.

Be honest with yourself and embrace your limits.

You already can’t do it all. Admitting the truth to yourself is like cold aloe vera on a sunburn.

It stings at first, but helps bring healing.

You are limited in your emotional, spiritual, and relational capacity.

Knowing this will help you choose to focus on the things that are most important and drop the rest of your unrealistic expectations and standards.

In conclusion, just as limits are necessary with small children, they are necessary with us.

Remember these truths…

Limits highlight our priorities.

Limits guard our mental health.

And limits bring freedom.

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

Stirring My Sauce

As I stood there with my baby on my hip, stirring the spaghetti sauce, I felt instantly better. It’s okay if dinner isn’t gourmet, we’re eating on plastic plates, and the house isn’t “company ready” 24/7.

I have my limits.

5 of them, to be exact.

How do I determine my personal limits as a mom and know when I’ve reached them?

This involves self-awareness, reflection, and paying attention to both your physical and emotional well-being. If you know you’ve reached your limit, start peeling away the “extras” (commitments, events, volunteering, etc.) until you feel like you are less stressed and looking to escape less frequently.

What are some long-term strategies for consistently operating within my limits as a mom?

Our limits as moms will change through the years as we add more kids, kids grow, we choose to work more or less, etc. This is something that we can be regularly monitoring with ongoing awareness of the warning signs of burnout, self-care, and proactive planning. When all else fails and you see the burnout train coming towards you, take time to reevaluate your priorities, expectations, and abilities in your current season.

What strategies can I use to handle unexpected challenges without overextending myself?

When we are operating within our limits as a general rule, we are able to overextend ourselves when it’s needed for short amounts of time. However, burnout comes when we are constantly in a state of overextension and operating outside of our limits. This is what we need to be guarding ourselves against.

Sources:

Factors affecting mothers happiness

How alone time leads to happiness

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Strategies For Overwhelmed Moms Who Want To Escape Life

There’s nothing so discouraging or stressful than being an overwhelmed mom. On those days you want to escape from life, here are strategies for relief.

Lately I’ve been going through a weird phase. A phase where most days I wake up and think “Oh no, it’s not another day already…..!!” and just spend most of the day wanting to escape.

Wanting to escape from the constant diaper changes and corralling and correcting and praising and disciplining.

Basically, I’m a tired mom. And sometimes escape from all the responsibilities that are weighing me down in life feels like what I need.

But that’s not really how life works.

Life keeps going and we must somehow go with it.

There are people to feed, bills to pay, crumbs to sweep, and jumbo size Reese’s cups to eat. Unless of course you don’t have any. And then there’s an even greater need to escape.

Read: The real reason moms never have enough time (hint: it’s not because we waste it!)

Stress relieving tips for the overwhelmed mom

It’s a stressful time for me, but not because I’m “busy” or can’t say “no.”

It just is what it is and I can’t change it. When we have young kids, it’s more important than ever we have proper boundaries because a lot of little kids can lead to feeling like an overwhelmed mom a lot of the time.

And because of that, I’ve been trying hard to find ways to escape, and then not escape, when that feeling takes me over.

Quickly, let’s dive into why moms become overwhelmed:

While this isn’t comprehensive, it covers a lot of areas that are stressful for moms.

Babies and kids aren’t sleeping well | You can start meeting your own children’s needs for sleep by sleep training, and it will help meet your own as well.

You don’t know your limits | The quickest way to mom burnout is not knowing our limits or feeling like they’re constantly being walked on.

The house is a nightmare | Some of the mess you may have to ignore, but you can start some easy tidy routines that go a long way.

You feel alone | If your husband doesn’t help much or you live far from family, it can be isolating and hard to ask for help.

The kids don’t listen well | It can feel out of control when our kids don’t listen. Here’s how to get your kids to behave.

Is my desire to escape selfishness or sanity?

Sometimes I’m selfish. I’ll admit it and don’t think anyone can say they aren’t selfish from time to time.

But sometimes, dadgummit, I’m not being selfish when I say I want to escape. I need to get away and have a break for my own sanity. If you can distinguish the difference, and know that you aren’t doing it from a selfish place, then the false guilt will go away.

And this can happen even if we’re doing everything “right.” Waking up earlier than the kids to pray or prepare for the day and being diligent about finding time alone.

Having set independent play times for the kids or putting the all down for a nap so you can rest yourself.

So many aspects of life are out of our control so being in a stressed state does not always mean you’ve done something wrong.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

How overwhelmed moms plates are overflowing, and the role of false guilt

Mothers feel so guilty for so many things. In fact, we often ignore our limits then end up burning out… simply because we felt too guilty to stop.

I used to feel guilty that I had to work sometimes during the day. Until I got a grip and realized that all my children require food, shelter, clothing, and the trip to the doctor so guess what? Those things cost money.

And you know who does not earn any money or create goods I can barter for food or car insurance?

My kids!!!!

So there we have it. Working is a necessity. Bye bye false guilt. Don’t slip on all the unraked leaves on your way out.

I can’t feel guilty if my kids occasionally see me on a computer or checking an important email on my phone. If your kids need to kill a few hours at your work so you can finish your responsibilities, that’s just part of life.

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

Signs you actually need some time to do what needs to be done

When you want to escape so you can get some things done that need doing, this is a big sign that you actually do need some time to get things done.

You need to take a day or two and finish the to do list.

You need to ask someone to watch your kids so you can work, clean, or go to an appointment.

The desire to flee in this case is just a need to get things finished.

Read: How to live within your limits and hold your boundaries

The overwhelmed / escape cycle we create if we’re not careful

Some days I just want everyone to leave me alone for goodness sake so I can rest and read my daughter’s Nancy Drew books.

But I can’t, so maybe, to bide some time… I put on a movie.

The older kids may watch it, but the younger ones may not, then I end up with some negative behavior from the kids who watched the TV and a big mess from the little ones who were playing completely unsupervised.

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

So then I’m worse than before and maybe even ticked that the ploy to escape didn’t work.

I realized the kids weren’t the root cause of my stress – my lack of understanding about my boundaries was – so escaping them wouldn’t help.

And actually, by escaping them, I was creating a cycle. A cycle that is the opposite of a happy cycle. I wanted them to leave me alone because I felt stressed. They picked up on my stress and my desire to avoid them and they became clingy and needy and whiny.

Their exaggerated behavior made me want to drive (alone) to the Tabasco factory in Louisiana with a block of cheddar cheese and a box of Saltines and eat until I burned my tongue off.

And we go round and round.

How being present in the moment actually IS an escape… at least partially

So I sat back, prayed and prayed and prayed though I don’t even know what I asked for because I just felt like such an overwhelmed mom I didn’t even know where to start.

And then I decided to escape to the right place at the right time.

If I needed to get work done then I’m going to stop feeling guilty about that.

I’m going to find a way to occupy all the kids so I can work.

If I am stressed because I have practical things that need to get done, then I’m going to ask for help and get them done.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

Start Now

And then sometimes… I’m going to escape to the kids.

Who says Facebook is more interesting than listening to my 3 year old talk about how girls can go into space? Why on earth is TV more interesting than running around in circles with the kids and pulling a hip flexer (is that a thing?) trying to impress them by kicking a ball really far?

So instead of fostering that feeling of “get me out of here” I’m going to be real. I’m going to do what I need to do, what I really need to do.

Read: How to be a present mom without going insane

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

You can break the cycle of overwhelm, mama!

But after I’ve done what I need to do, if I’m still feeling like a completely overwhelmed mom, I’m going to start escaping into the moment with the kids.

Escaping from the pressures that don’t always need to fill my thoughts.

Escaping from my to do list and grown-up worries.

We’ll play ring around the rosie and hide and go seek. I’ll have freeze dance parties, play tag, and kick the ball until we get tired of it. I’ll snuggle, cuddle, and put my worries aside when I look my kids in the eyes.

Instead of trying to escape from them, I’ll escape to them.

I’ll organize my life around my mental health boundaries, and then I’ll stop trying to escape my own life.

I’ll live in the present.

You can too.

How do I overcome the guilt or pride associated with asking for help?

Realizing that we are human and can’t do it all humbles us so that we are able to ask for help. Mom guilt is so prevalent but often times unnecessary. We need to be aware of our feelings of guilt or pride and the source of these feelings, so that we can identify them and work to create healthier boundaries and expectations for ourselves.

How can I avoid setting unrealistic expectations for myself and feeling disappointed when I can’t meet them?

Routines help us to divide our priorities throughout the day while seeing how much time we have left to do extra tasks. Unrealistic expectations easily steal our joy, so it’s important to determine the most important tasks that need to be accomplished on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis and take the pressure off of ourselves to constantly be productive beyond our prioritized activities.

Are there techniques to help me feel less overwhelmed?

A good starting point is identifying the source (or sources) of your overwhelm and determining if your desire to escape is out of legitimate need or selfishness. If you aren’t operating out of selfishness, release the guilt that many of us can feel for taking a break or asking for help. Routines, realistic expectations, and delegating tasks to others can also help fight overwhelm.

Sources:

Factors affecting mothers happiness

How alone time leads to happiness

Happy mother predictor of family outcomes

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

::

5 Signs You May Be A Depressed Mom–And How To Start Feeling Better

The last thing you want to be is a depressed mom. Here are some things that could be behind those feelings.

Being a mom of young kids is SO HARD.

It is a short season, but still a trying one.

You know your body needs sleep, but you’re up all night with feedings, nightmares, and checking on feverish littles.

You know social interactions are key to well-being, but you barely see your friends, think play dates are more trouble than they’re worth, and can only manage to have evenings out with friends once in a blue moon.

Also, you know what you eat matters, but not only do you not have the time to cook like you used to, but you don’t have the energy or creativity.

You know exercising helps with mood, but you’re hardly ever away from the kids, are sick of them climbing all over you while doing a YouTube exercise video, and don’t have a gym with childcare in your area.

Seriously… life with little kids is so hard.

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

5 Things That Make You Feel Like A Depressed Mom — And Strategies To Help!

I believe that this time where the kids are so tiny and dependent on you is one of the hardest mentally for mothers.

Life is completely different now than ever before, and it’s a tough adjustment.

If you’ve been feeling depressed and blue, know that you are not alone. It’s not something to be ashamed of, and there is hope!

You might feel like a depressed mom if… your body is out of balance

I want to start off by saying that depression is, of course, a chemical imbalance.

Sometimes the chemical imbalance is the root and sometimes it’s fruit of something else going on in life that isn’t quite balanced.

Whether it’s hormone related and manifesting as postpartum depression or simply something that’s always been there, under the surface, there are still lifestyle choices that can make a huge difference.

Action #1

If you are struggling with depression (or think you are beginning to) then find a doctor you trust that will listen to you.

If there are lifestyle choices that’ll help you find freedom, trust your intuition and add those to your doctor’s advice.

Read: When Motherhood Fries Your Nerves: How To Find Relief

You might feel like a depressed mom if… you feel like you’re doing life alone

The research shows that having friends and social support can actually lengthen your life.

I’ll type it again… an active social life with those whom you can lean on… can lengthen your life.

If that’s the case, feelings of isolation and loneliness are like slow death to the soul. That sounds a bit dramatic, but if you’ve ever moved to a new place, been without friends, or felt isolated… you know it’s true.

Action #2

Share your heart with a friend. Whether they live far off or close by, truly share how you are feeling. Keeping a Brave Face can backfire because no one knows you’re struggling.

Get to know people out of your age group. It’s very hard to get together moms of young kids because we’re all strung out. Find older mothers or women in your church and community. They are often less busy, more flexible, and happy to pour into the lives of others.

Join something weekly/ monthly. Whether it’s a Bible study or a hiking club, find something that meets regularly and commit to it. Yes, it’s hard and you might have to get a sitter, but regular social interaction does so much good.

Be honest about your struggles. You are not as unique as you think you are in your problems, and I hope that is comforting. Sometimes being vulnerable with others will have a cascading effect.

Read: The Key To Being A Calm Mom, No Matter How You Feel

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

You might feel like a depressed mom if… you always feel overwhelmed by life

One of the quickest ways to get down in the doldrums is to be stressed and overwhelmed.

We all get that way at times.

The key is to realize when it has gone from being a Season Of Overwhelm to being a Life Of Overwhelm with no end to the stress in sight.

Not only will this result in your body chemistry being off and your Fight Or Flight being on, it can eventually turn into something chronic.

Read: The Ultimate Guide To Having A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love

Let’s dig deeper

Action #3

Talk to a counselor. If you can’t afford a counselor, talk to a pastor. Overwhelm has a way of making us blind to solutions that are available. We are in survival mode and unable to get out on our own. Get help.

Try to focus on the forest, not the trees. We can never get everything done. Half of what we get done will not be quite right. This is normal for many people. But if you have a Type A personality everything seems overwhelming because there’s so much more added to your list that doesn’t have to be there. Focus on your big goals, forget about small things.

Get help. If you are feeling desperate, ask help desperately. If those who love you and support you know that you’re struggling they are far more likely to help. Hire it out if you can afford it. Trade childcare or cleaning if you can’t. Put the kids in childcare a day or two a week if need be. Believe there are solutions and you will think of some.

Stay at home moms are quite vulnerable. While working moms certainly have their own stressors, often times having a job outside the home provides opportunity for socializing or fulfilling one’s purpose and this can counteract some of the stress. Since stay at home moms are home and can often be lonely, this increases feelings and episodes of depression.

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

You might feel like a depressed mom if… you are exhausted

Sleep is so stinking important.

There will be months during the newborn phase where you are up feeding at night. This is unavoidable.

But as soon as baby is able to sleep through the night, don’t interfere with this. It’s beneficial to baby and to you.

And if someone tries to make you feel guilty for sleep training, tell them they can take your endless night shifts, your chemical imbalance, your cellular death, and the increased risk of disease that comes from sleep deprivation.

That’ll shut them up.

Action #4

Put down your device. If you turn off your phone by 7 or 8 pm, you’ll be surprised how quickly your body will begin the wind down process and get tired. Turn off your phone and charge it in another room. Read a book and in 5 pages you may find yourself asleep.

Stop early waking for a while. We often wake up before the kids to get things done. I have done this during many seasons. But if we’re perpetually exhausted and barely functioning, give it a pass and rest instead.

Get outside. Sunlight and drakness trigger the release of hormones in the brain, both the feel good hormones (seratonin) and the sleepy hormones (melatonin). By going outside and getting sunlight during the day you’ll actually help increase your production of melatonin at night as well.

Have a set bedtime. Your circadian rhythm plays a large role in your health. If you go to bed and wake at regular times your body naturally begins to tire and waken at those times. You’ll sleep sounder with a regular sleep schedule. This is hard during the newborn weeks, but after that it’s important to work towards.

Read: The Scientific Reason Moms Are Super Tired You’ve Never Heard

You might feel like a depressed mom if… you (or your spouse) have unrealistic standards

This is a huge one.

If you are living in a world in which everything you do is Not Enough and you feel like your value or place in the world is determined by how perfectly you perform… you are in for a world of hurt.

This type of attitude colors your entire life and creates ridiculous amounts of stress and anxiety. Ask me how I know.

By truly acknowledging and realizing that you are living in a paradigm where you are Not Good Enough and can only be Good Enough by constant doing, you can begin to make steps that will dramatically change your life.

Let’s dig further

Action #5

Talk to someone older and wiser. Speak to someone wise and loving (and preferably older and in a different life stage) about your feelings. Ask them if they think you are being unrealistic in your expectations of yourself. Receive their wisdom honestly.

Have a frank talk with your spouse. If you feel your expectations are normal and your spouse’s are unrealistic, don’t beat around the bush. Do not mistake martyring your mental health as an act of Respect towards your spouse. You are not respecting your husband by making yourself nuts. If it’s a big issue between you two, get some marital counseling.

Decide enough is enough. It seems like it’s not a choice (and up until this point it likely hasn’t been), but it can actually be that simple. You can decide that what you do is enough. That you are enough. That being an imperfect mom in an imperfect home with imperfect children is – in fact – THE ONLY POSSIBLE SCENARIO IN LIFE.

Read: Boundaries: The Only Way To Stay Sane In Motherhood & Life

There is hope…

If you are feeling depressed – or worried you might be depressed – I want to give you hope today.

There is so much hope.

While things might be out of whack right now hormonally, mentally, emotionally, or situationally… our bodies were created to be dynamic and they will respond to lifestyle changes we make.

You are not alone.

You are not sentenced to depression forever.

And, you can find help and hope and healing.

Sources:

Factors affecting mothers happiness

How alone time leads to happiness

Happy mother predictor of family outcomes

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

Am I alone in feeling this way?

No. Most (if not all) moms experience challenges in motherhood related to this. Motherhood can be a universal experience in some ways, like feeling isolated and exhausted in some seasons. You are not alone but remember, this too shall pass.

How do I address feeling overwhelmed all the time?

First, assess where the majority of feelings of overwhelm are coming from. Are you feeling like you’re doing everything for everyone? Are you overwhelmed with the tasks that come with raising kids and maintaining a household? Are you missing friendships or time for yourself? When you find the source, troubleshoot and get creative with how you can simplify and streamline your schedule or processes by delegating, asking for help, connecting with other moms, creating routines for your family, having conversations with your husband, etc. You are not stuck but it will take some work to change things for the better. You’ve got this, mama!

::

How To Mentally & Emotionally Survive the Newborn Phase

If you’ve just had a baby and feel a bit stressed, never fear. Here are some tips on how to mentally and emotionally survive the newborn phase.

Well I’ve done it. I’ve had 5 babies in 5years and I’ve lived to tell about it.

I’ll not say every moment was sunshine and sunscreen, but here I am. Alive to change 3,567 more diapers and say “No, you can’t have mommy’s coffee,” for one more day.

Each mother is different (which is a great thing) and some fare better with different phases than others. I find the newborn phase delightful, but don’t particularly enjoy the early toddler (12 – 24 month) phase.

They are all full of challenges and joyous moments, but I believe that many mothers really struggle during the very early days.

Maybe all moms but…

Particularly if you’re a first time mom.

And if your baby has days and nights confused.

Or has colic.

And you’re having breastfeeding issues.

You know. Life.

I think the newborn phase – though stressful – can be one where you lay some great foundations in your new bundle’s life that continue to reap benefits for months and years to come.

Read: Life Changing Advice For New Moms (That Your Dr. Won’t Tell You!)

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

So, how can you survive and even thrive during this phase?

Here are my thoughts.

1. Start out how you can hold out

My grandmother has always given me wise advice. One of the first things she told me after I had my firstborn was to “start out how you can hold out.” Simply put, don’t start doing things you aren’t willing to keep doing.

Now, obviously there are things you do with a newborn you don’t do with a 1 year old. Or conversely, start habits early that you’d like to continue.

If you nurse, you may want to know how to get a breastfed baby to take a bottle so you can have some breaks here and there.

Breaks matter!

However, if you find yourself doing elaborate things to get the baby to settle (because you’ve got a whiny baby) or you are running around in circles to do simple things, it’s time to step back and weigh, test, and measure.

In the sleepless newborn fog it’s easy to do things that don’t make sense.

By doing some hard work on the front end you’ll save yourself a lot of stress later and you won’t have to break multiple bad habits.

Read: Start Out How You Can Hold Out

Family Practices & Contribution
0-5

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

2. Work on the sleep

Newborns are going to wake up all night long to feed because they need it. This is unavoidable.

However, you can help them develop good sleeping habits from the beginning that will transition naturally into babies who start sleeping through the night and who nap well.

You can use these baby sleep checklists to help troubleshoot baby sleep issues.

Read: End Baby’s Witching Hour — In 4 Simple Steps

It is for your own sanity that both you and your baby get adequate sleep.

The goal is not to deprive them of food so they sleep through the night, but that you create an environment that encourages sleep and helps set your newborn up to be a well-rested baby.

And (I’ve got a secret for you) when other people’s 3-month-olds “wake up” and stop sleeping, you’ll have one who goes down for naps without fussing and who sleeps long stretches at night.

Related Reads:

How to Get Your Newborn To Sleep Well From Day One

The Ultimate Newborn Sleep Schedule That Brings Calm Days

What To Do When Baby Is Feeding Every Hour (& Not Sleeping!)

Newborn Mamas, Drop These Expectations For More Peace

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

3. Get some “you” time

If you’re trying to survive the newborn phase, this is one of the best things you can do.

When it’s your first child you will be able to nap when the baby naps. If you already have children and a newborn this doesn’t always play out how you’d like.

I do get a 30-45 minute nap daily even with 4 kids at home most days, but I have to fight for it!

Whether you have a family member, neighbor, or babysitter come occasionally, or you just maximize your time, it’s so important to have wind down and recharge time built into your schedule.

If you are like me (and you hope you aren’t) then it’s not a luxury to have alone time, it’s a necessity. You may have to move mountains to get it, but it’s worth the effort.

Whether it’s ‘during independent play or even tummy time, make it happen.

Read: Finding time for yourself in the everyday

4. Don’t fill your emotional basement

Baby blues and postpartum depression are a reality for many mothers. However, even without those you’ll still be experiencing a myriad of emotions post delivery.

New baby means new routine.

Older siblings will behave differently while adjusting. You’ll have to figure out how it all fits together. You may feel more frustrated, angry, lonely, or sad than normal.

Read: Want an Easy Baby? Then Use A Foolproof Baby Schedule

Whatever you do… don’t just say “oh it’s fine” and ignore it. That will not work out for you. You have something called an emotional basement and during the postpartum period you will be very tempted to fill it.

We actually need empty emotional basements, so you must be real with how you’re actually feeling. Surviving the newborn phase necessitates you are present with your emotions so they don’t overwhelm you.

Read: Healing for Damaged Emotions

Motherhood & Wellbeing
13-18, 6-12

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

Start Now

5. Let your husband help

If your husband is home then let him help. Can he change diapers and bathe the baby or older kids? Let him. If he doesn’t volunteer, ask him. If he acts uninterested, pressure him.

Okay I’ll stop dispensing relationship advice, but do ask for help. If your husband works a lot then ask a family member or friend.

If you push yourself past the point of coping then you’ll end up having to get help anyway so… swallow your pride and ask.

Read: Why your husband isn’t doing you a favor by watching the kids and How to help your husband help you with the kids

Postpartum Phase FAQ

When do newborns get easier?

This is a tough question, but I want to give you hope. There is no cut and dry answer, but by around 3 months of age, you and baby will likely settle into a routine. It all depends on why things are tough with your little one.

So, if baby isn’t sleeping at all right now, then a sleep schedule will probably help. If baby is feeding every hour on the hour, then know that will slow down as baby is able to drink more and eventually have solids.

If you find yourself feeding all day long, the key is to have a breastfeeding schedule you can live with that utilizes cluster feeding on purpose, not on accident.

How can I manage breastfeeding challenges or feeding challenges in general?

Feeding challenges can be a hurdle for many mms to enjoy the newborn phase. Whether you are facing digestive issues or latching challenges, feeding a newborn can be overwhelming. You are not alone! Ask others to help you with tasks unrelated to feeding so you can focus and conserve your energy. If you have any questions or concerns on your feeding journey, do not hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician or lactation consultant.

How can I bond with my newborn?

Some of my favorite ways to bond with my newborns include (but are not limited to): skin-to-skin, cuddling, singing songs, reading books to them, taking time to admire their features, and baby wearing.

Want some printables to hang up?

If you want routines and schedules for not only the 6 to 9 month age, but for the 12 month, 18 month, and on I’ve got great news. I’ve created a book chock full of routines that work.

Routines that keep babies well rested, happy, and content.

They also account for all the things you need to do and they are mom tested. The best part? The book comes with printable routines (3 choices for each age) that you can hang up and use!

So instead of having to reinvent the wheel every few months, you’ll have tried and true mom tested routines right at your fingertips.

Read: Cocooning a Newborn & 7 Reasons Why it Can Be Good For The Family

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

Sources:

1 in 10 mothers experience depression

Distribution of parental duties affects stress levels

Factors affecting mothers happiness

::

Why Am I An Angry Mom? 5 Anger Triggers And How To Manage Them

If you’ve asked yourself, “Why am I an angry mom?” then keep reading. Moms often find themselves frustrated or yelling and out of control and feel alone. They can feel they’re the only ones struggling with anger. But anger often covers other things and is triggered by a few super common family life factors. When you address these triggers you’ll feel less angry, less ragey, and like a more calm nonchalant mom.

It was a day much like any other.

Loud. Stimulating. Demanding.

My preschooler didn’t want to go to bed and was whining with a piercing moan. My toddler was proclaiming he wanted more juice at 90 decibels.

And my baby needed feeding and was crying with a grating cry only a baby can do.

All this built up into a cacophony of clanging symbols in my head as I felt my brain expanding to a break point. One of my biggest parenting triggers showed its ugly head.

Then, in a loud thunderous voice, I screamed…

“Everybody just SHUT UP for goodness sake!”

Oh dear…

Then, in completely shock, I stared down at the kids. They were staring back at me and then – in a split second – they all started crying.

Loud anguished tears.

I sat down on the floor by them and we all cried together.

Oh… to be a fly on the wall of that moment.

I never considered myself an angry person.

I also never considered myself a “baby” person and here I have 5 kids.

So… there’s that.

Since becoming a mom I have come face to face with my temper. I’d like to blame my red hair, but I have to be honest with myself here.

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

pinpoint an issue

draw out how it’s affecting you

label what you don’t like about it

determine areas of responsibility

figure out how it’s showing up

say what you’d rather happen

brainstorm solutions

There are certain behaviors and circumstances that give rise to my anger and it’s something I consistently must guard in our home. Why?

A) because I don’t want my kids to remember me as being mean and angry

2) because having a mean and angry mom will give your kids issues.

D) and because it’s just plain and simple no fun to be in a bad mood.

A, 2, D… know what movie that is? Anyway…

Here are 5 common reasons you’re an angry mom.

This isn’t exhaustive, but it hits the big ones.

Read: Mom Morning Routines That Bring Sanity & Order To Your Days

1. You take things personally

For some irrational reason, we moms tend to take disobedience a personal insult. I say do this, they do that, and I want to get offended at their audacity.

Then I remind myself they are children.

They intuitively want to please their parents but they don’t intuitively know how.

Unless you want to be nuts all day and night, you cannot take their behavior and choices personally.

When your anger rises after a particular situation, and before you pounce, take a minute to think about the root of your anger.

Are you mad simply because they didn’t do what you said?

Calm down and remember, it’s consistency, discipline, and training that brings about your desired results, not their fear of your angry outbursts.

Read: How To Not Take Your Child’s Behavior Personally

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

2. Your expectations need adjusting

It’s hard to know what to rightfully expect as mothers.

You don’t want to low ball or high ball the kids by expecting what they can’t deliver or not expecting what they should.

This is a work in progress that needs regular tweaking, but if you are expecting your 3-year-old to act like a 6-year-old then you’ll get angry.

Yesterday, I was feeling completely wiped out. I was laying down feeding my 5 week old (which I like to do when I’m trying to rest a bit) and he stopped nursing because he needed to be burped.

Without even thinking I sat up and said…

“These kids can’t do anything for themselves!”

Ha. Then I laughed at myself and hugged and cuddled and burped my baby and realized I needed to get a grip and some expectation tweaking with all my kids.

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

pinpoint an issue

draw out how it’s affecting you

label what you don’t like about it

determine areas of responsibility

figure out how it’s showing up

say what you’d rather happen

brainstorm solutions

Expectations matter…

I should expect obedience, but not 100% obedience.

I can expect a good attitude, but not if I’m a sourpuss all day.

Read: It’s Official… Too Many Rules Make For Tired & Angry Parents

3. You’re empty and need a recharge

Motherhood calls for a lot of sacrifice, but I don’t think sanity is one of the things we should sacrifice. There are certain things we must do just because we must.

However, we should attempt to include in our day time to ourselves where at all possible.

If you are empty and have nothing to give – yet still continue giving – what you’re giving is not a gift.

If you’re feeling like a perpetual angry mom, you likely need to take some time alone. Get your husband to watch the kids or another family member. Put them all to bed early and do something that helps you relax or recharge. If you can manage, go on a mommy vacation for a weekend.

If not, sit down with a pencil and brainstorm ways you can get what you need to stay sane.

Start or continue some hobbies.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

Start Now

4. You’ve let things get out of control and need a reset

It hurts me to type this, but most of our children’s behavior is a result of our own parenting strategies. Not all, obviously, because they have their own free will.

However, if we are lax, too strict, or inconsistent their free will causes them to do things that aren’t desirable.

It’s perfectly normal we find a good system, go on autopilot, and then realize our system needs some tweaking.

If your home atmosphere seems to be getting out of control I’d suggest hitting the reset button.

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

pinpoint an issue

draw out how it’s affecting you

label what you don’t like about it

determine areas of responsibility

figure out how it’s showing up

say what you’d rather happen

brainstorm solutions

How to hit the reset button

Tighten the reins for a week.

Be over the top consistent.

Evaluate your expectations (#2) then explain over and over again what you expect from them.

Explain over and over again what will happen if they don’t do what you expect.

It’ll be tedious for a week, but you should expect to see a return to normal and pleasant behavior within a short period of time. It’s all about big picture thinking.

Read: Mom Burnout — A Hard But Freeing Truth

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

pinpoint an issue

draw out how it’s affecting you

label what you don’t like about it

determine areas of responsibility

figure out how it’s showing up

say what you’d rather happen

brainstorm solutions

5. You’re stressed and need an outlet

When I’m stressed and have not processed it well, I become a short-tempered person.

Every little stupid thing ticks me off.

Whether your outlet is some type of hobby (crafty or non-crafty) or sport, find some way to let out your frustration in other ways than exploding with your kids.

Also, if you are habitually stressed it may be time to do some more extreme measures like counseling or anger management activities.

Are you keeping your boundaries?

Or even putting firm boundaries in relationships, at work, or in areas that are out of your control.

You may not be able to control the circumstances that cause you stress, but your children shouldn’t suffer for it.

Perhaps you need to cut back on commitments, slow down, and re-evaluate your priorities.

Even if something drastic must be done, you will be glad you did something when you’re able to finish a day without having lost it!

Read: How to be a calm mom

Motherhood & Wellbeing

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

Start Now

But back to that screaming moment…

We all sat there on the floor crying and then, after a bit, I started laughing. Amazingly enough, they started laughing too. “I’m so sorry, kids,” I said.

“We sowwy too, mama!” they said, as they hugged and kissed me.

….

So… while it’s normal to get angry, we should be able to manage it.

While our kids do need to understand their actions have consequences, we don’t need to explode on them.

And instead of just trying not to yell, remember: anger is not the issue, a deeper issue is the issue.

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

pinpoint an issue

draw out how it’s affecting you

label what you don’t like about it

determine areas of responsibility

figure out how it’s showing up

say what you’d rather happen

brainstorm solutions

Angry Mom And Yelling FAQ

“I will go into the store carrying my sleeping baby while asking my 3 year old to help with getting out a shopping cart. This is difficult for him because he is only 3 but it makes me so angry that he doesn’t do it right and I say mean things to him. Thank you for your tips because the guilt I feel for ruining my son’s life through anger is killing me.”

The truth is we all have different triggers that make mom life hard for us.

You want him to do things the correct way and you likely *had* to do things right or you’d get in trouble. Or something undesirable would happen.

Our anger is usually less about what’s happening in our environment, and more about what we think about that.

Mom guilt is so common along with anger and yelling. You are only human and if you work to repeat the damage done during the yelling, and work on your triggers, you will see the relationship connection strengthen.

“These kids can’t do anything for themselves!” ha. I actually said to my then-one-year-old “why are you acting like a child?”

One year later I still feel ashamed.

This is a huge contributor to staying in the angry mom cycle. We’ve all been there.

When we lose our temper and yell or say things we regret, guilt sets in. We don’t like that we said that and don’t want to say it again.

Instead of simply asking forgiveness, and repairing the relationship, we stew in our own discouragement.

We tell ourselves we are hopeless and it’ll never change, and this just makes us more angry.

Compassion towards ourselves along with working on our triggers is how we’ll become the moms we want to be.

Another good one…

“What should I do if I just yelled at my child?”

If you’ve just yelled at your child and are sorry about it, the best thing you can do is to calm down a little, then have a talk.

Explain to child the reason you yelled. This isn’t making excuses, it’s teaching your child how people react in the real world. You might say, “I asked you to do something 12 times and you didn’t do it. I get mad when rules are broken.”

This is honest and forthright.

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

pinpoint an issue

draw out how it’s affecting you

label what you don’t like about it

determine areas of responsibility

figure out how it’s showing up

say what you’d rather happen

brainstorm solutions

Apologize that you weren’t able to keep your anger in, and say you’ll try better next time. You are only human. Modeling reparation is one of the most important things you can do for children.

One more…

I have so much guilt for yelling at my kids that I tend to mope around or give them anything they want to help make up for it. How do I get out of this cycle?

Give yourself grace, mama. We all mess up and some days are harder than others. Remember that feeling guilty after yelling at your kids shows your commitment to their well-being. While outbursts happen, making efforts to apologize, finding an outlet or creating a self-care routine, and working on healthier communication can contribute to a more positive parent-child relationship.

Sources:

Factors affecting mothers happiness

How alone time leads to happiness

Risk factors for postnatal depression

The Difference Between A Little Worry And Anxiety – For Moms

Are you an anxious mother? Do you feel you worry too much, but aren’t sure if it’s “normal”? If you are always worrying about different scenarios and you have parental anxiety (or postpartum anxiety) at every turn, this will help.

Every hour, all night long.

That is how often I got out of bed to check my babies were still breathing. 10 pm, 11 pm, midnight, and on until morning. If I came into semi-consciousness at all, bam. Up to check on the kids.

Try as I might, I couldn’t go back to sleep without checking.

I’d never have forgiven myself if something happened to them and I simply rolled over in the night.

I would get out of a warm, soft bed, walk down the hall, and as carefully as can be put my hand on their tiny chests. The concentrated act of trying not to wake them up woke me up.

If it was winter, well, forget it. The two minutes of frigid night air was enough to keep me awake 20 minutes before falling back asleep and doing it again an hour later.

Big time postpartum anxiety.

But, this is normal right? Because mothers worry?

Well, yes. But no. Yes and no?

Anxiety is going around. Modern life and lack of boundaries is creating an entire generation of anxious mothers.

Over the years I’ve had enough comments and emails from readers wondering if they just worry too much or if they have anxiety. It’s a fine line. One is a bit of a nuisance and the other can be an affliction.

But how do you know?

Signs you’re just a little worried, but not anxious.

You probably just worry a bit much if the following things can consistently and successfully make you forget your worries or fears.

Comfort foods (like ice cream, chocolate, or your favorite casserole, for example)

Media (Netflix binges, movies, etc.)

chatting with a friend

a fun day with family

If you can push away your worries by binge watching Gilmore Girls with some chocolate chunk ice cream, then it’s probably not anxiety.

Why? Because anxiety comes from deep within and is not calmed by surface band-aids such as food or fun.

It may be lessened slightly, but it rears its ugly head again quickly.

Read: 5 Signs You May Be A Depressed Mom – And How To Turn Life Around

Motherhood & Wellbeing

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

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In fact, anxiety says, “I don’t care about food or fun, leave me alone.”

You see, nothing could have stopped me from checking on my babies. Not food nor fun nor any recitation of a Bible verse to calm myself.

Oh no. Calm only came knowing they were okay. It was compulsive. If I physically stopped myself from checking on them it was mental torment.

Read: When Motherhood Fries Your Nerves – How To Find Relief

Symptoms of “Mild” Anxiety or Worry

You have recurring worries, but you can generally ignore them.

Sometimes you tend towards butterflies, feeling nervous, and even sweaty, but it doesn’t stop you from doing what you need to do.

You aren’t debilitated by panic attacks or fear and you haven’t become fearful of your actual anxiety symptoms. (source)

Basically, if you tend towards worry that isn’t necessarily anxiety.

Worry can be managed and controlled.

Anxiety controls you.

A lot of anxiety comes from lack of boundaries

While there are chemical factors leading to anxiety and depression – surely – a lot of the chemical factors at play are a result of stress hormones being released constantly (source).

So essentially, sometimes chemical imbalances cause anxiety and depression.

Sometimes lack of boundaries cause stress which causes hormonal imbalances which results in anxiety and depression.

That’s the bad news. The good news?

You can figure out your boundaries and learn to hold them so your life is less stressful and more like you want it.

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

How to figure out your boundaries and use them to relieve your anxiety

Here are some examples of how you’ve become an anxious mother because your boundaries aren’t being kept.

The house is always a mess and no one helps. | This causes frustration and stress for you, especially if you’re a visual person. Solution? Get a chore system going, hire out help, or get rid of a lot of the stuff making a mess.

You aren’t getting enough sleep. | Persistent lack of sleep causes mental illness. Full stop (scholarly articles here). Unless your baby is younger than 4 months old, they can sleep through the night with no feeds or 1 feed. Start meeting your child’s need by sleep training then go to bed at a reasonable hour.

Meal planning and prep and cooking cause you stress. | Lower your standards. Melt some Kerrygold butter over organic noodles. Make cheese toast. Serve Kashi for dinner. For a season, simply do the absolute basic amount until you are out of survival mode.

Those are a few examples. Figure out what is causing you stress and anxiety. Brainstorm solutions (you will think of solutions!) and then keep those boundaries firm.

Read: Boundaries and Limits — The Only Way To Stay Sane In Motherhood

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

What triggers your parental anxiety?

Every day at 5 p.m. I felt a dark cloud.

It was around the time my husband left for work. I thought I was a super freak alien, but couple that with the frequent night waking and pregnancy hormones, I knew I should see someone. Turns out, there is a term for that feeling… dread and doom.

Fabulous.

My counselor helped me see it was situational, not general parental anxiety. I felt dread and doom when he was leaving for the evening and I had to do all the nightly routines alone.

Things changed when tweaked our routine until it was less stressful, and that helped. I think when we add kids to the equation, it muddies the waters. It’s harder to figure out what’s going on.

But if it relates to the kids specifically, it’s definitely parental anxiety that needs specific solutions.

Ask yourself these questions.

Does it come at a certain time? If so, what is happening then? Does this relate to being home with all the kids and not having any time alone to recharge?

Is there something I can do to permanently change that situation? (stressed about cleaning, can you get a cleaner? Need daytime help? Get a mother’s helper.)

Can I enlist others for help? (asking friends to organize meal delivery if you’re postpartum, for example)

What’s the difference between anxiety and fear?

Fear relates to a tangible circumstance. You are fearful if you think your child is in imminent danger. You fear for your life if a mugger is threatening you. And of course, you fear death if you are diagnosed with a disease.

Fear is our bodies reaction to something we can pinpoint. And truly, perpetual fear leads to anxiety. Why? Because fear releases stress hormones and, over time, these contribute to a hyper aroused state.

Which is anxiety, in a nutshell.

Anxious mothers have a more nebulous feeling or chronic sense of worry or apprehension (source), and often the person cannot pinpoint the source.

Sweats, butterflies, even panic attacks can come and you have no idea what brought them on! Or, you are worried about the possibility of an event happening, even though you have no cause to think such a thing could occur.

Can you pinpoint the onset … like postpartum anxiety?

If you have a baby under a year old and are anxious… it may be some form of postpartum anxiety. There are so many changes that come within the first year.

And in our fast paced modern society, where women are expected to do everything they once did with their newborn, postpartum anxiety is reaching record levels.

Often anxiety sets in due to a stressful circumstance. My postpartum anxiety counselor said of 10 major stressors for women, I’d recently experienced or was experiencing 6.

I’d recently gotten married,

was having relationship struggles

moved homes

moved countries

had two babies

and was pregnant again.

Always the overachiever.

Can you determine when you started having these anxious feelings? Is it money trouble? Or relationship struggles? Is it the weight of day to day caring for a child with special needs?

If you can pinpoint the root of your feelings, the way forward is much clearer.

Motherhood & Wellbeing
13-18, 6-12

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

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When Should I See a Counselor?

If you’re asking if you should see a counselor… you should see a counselor.

After a few months of hourly night waking, dread and doom, and other horrible fears, I asked to see a counselor. My counselor suggested, and I agreed, it was likely a result of big life changes coupled with intense pregnancy hormones since I’d had babies close together.

In fact, as soon as I delivered my baby I was back to normal me.

But in that time I’d also hired someone to deep clean the house. And I’d filled the freezer with cooked meals. Not to mention a few other things that took some of the homemaking stress off my shoulders. In the end, I was able to manage it until the biggest root (pregnancy hormones) was no longer a factor.

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

But only because my anxiety counselor saw a clear picture. She heard my story unbiased. Then, she told me my expectations were too high, unrealistic, and damaging to my own mental health.

That I needed to stop worrying what “should” be done and start doing what was best for us. In short, I owed her my sanity. She was worth it ten times over.

And these days? I’ve added three more children to our family. But instead of waking up hourly, we all sleep like babies.

Sources:

1 in 10 mothers experience depression

Distribution of parental duties affects stress levels

Factors affecting mothers happiness

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Practical, Emotional, and Natural Tips To Help A Stressed Out Mama Cope

Inside: If you’re a stressed out mom then this will give you tips, ideas, and home remedies to help manage and even prevent some stress in your life.

It isn’t possible for us to remove all stressors from our lives.

Having children, cooking dinner, school pick up and drop offs… these things can cause us stress and tiredness. Sometimes that tiredness is proof of a life well lived.

But we’re not talking about good tired today, we’re talking about bad tired. The type that makes you want to pull your hair out, kick the wall, and run screaming away from your own life.

The kind of stress that can make you feel black rage in one moment then crumble and ugly cry the next.

Let’s be honest, this often happens in the newborn phase. Or when you’re heavily pregnant and emotional. Or when life is so busy there simply isn’t any time to empty the well of emotions we’re feeling.

What we wish we was happening a few times a year, right?

Tips To Help Recover From Being A Stressed Out Mom

Imagine your emotions are like a house with a basement.

If you stuff your emotions, keep moving without allowing yourself to feel them, or honestly don’t even know what you are feeling… it’s like you are stuffing it all into your emotional basement.

Eventually, the basement will fill up and fill up and fill up until it starts coming out of the basement into the house.

This is when stress really takes hold. Our emotional basements (of anxiety, worry, anger, fear, etc.) start overflowing and disrupt our houses (lives).

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

Since we can’t alleviate all stress and everything that is causing it, here are some basic day to day ways you can bring some much needed calm and relaxation.

Practical Tips To Help Stressed Moms Relax

Take five minutes alone. Put the kids in front of the TV, in their playpens, or cribs with some books and toys and go sit somewhere dark without your phone. Take a timer and just relax.

Have a stash of your favorite drink on hand so you can pour a cup. When the kids are occupied in their Quiet Time focus on drinking and how good it tastes and try not to think about your to do list.

Institute independent play time for your children each day.

Get up earlier than the kids, even for 20 minutes, and read your Bible, pray, or do something else relaxing not involving technology.

Read: Mom Morning Routines That Bring Sanity & Order To Your Days

Read a nice book on your favorite piece of furniture in the house. Or if you don’t have a favorite piece, create a cozy nook somewhere just for this purpose (book series mothers love).

Get a mother’s helper (or your husband who isn’t a babysitter) and go out! This is the ticket if you are an extrovert.

Go outside for some fresh air and sunshine.

Eat a guilty pleasure / comfort meal. If your fave isn’t healthy then don’t make it habit to comfort yourself, but occasionally indulging in a favorite makes it more special.

Get some hobbies. Here’s some hobbies for stay at home moms or hobbies for non-crafters.

Read: Strategies For Overwhelmed Moms Who Want To Escape Life

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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Natural Remedies To Help Relax When You Feel Stressed Out

A warm bath. Detox baths will do more than just help you relax. Turn off the lights, light some candles and put 1 cup Epsom salts and 5 drops of your favorite oil in the bath. I use Lavender.

Face mask. Make your own face mask with this turmeric recipe. There are a lot of options with things you have around the house. It feels luxurious to give yourself extra attention.

Scented eye mask. Get an eye mask or eye pillow that you can scent with essential oils and use during rest times or before bed. A face mask or an ear plug can help you sleep deeper and longer.

Calming tea. Make a cup of chamomile tea (which is a mild sedative) and add Ylang Ylang, Lavender, or Chamomile essential oils or Valerian which is a mood stabilizer.

Diffuse. Essential oils are absorbed through the bloodstream so diffusing a calming essential oil or oil blend will help lower your stress levels from the inside out.

Tips To Relieve Emotional Stress

It might seem impossible but a key to helping feel better mentally is finding time for yourself in the everyday

Here’s how to wind down and recharge after a busy day

Honestly express your emotions and you’ll be amazed how much better you’ll feel

Call a friend who’ll let you vent your frustration, but who will then encourage you

Think about relational issues that are weighing you down and whether you need to forgive someone or ask forgiveness

Determine whether there’s a situation in your life that needs confronting, whether with a co-worker, friend or family member, and try not to brush it under the rug. That’ll just increase your stress!

Stressed Because Your Kids Aren’t Sleeping Well?

The newborn stage can be exhausting so here’s some tips to help your newborn sleep well

If you’re up with the kids all throughout the night you may have a case of the sleep props, so read sleep props and how to get rid of them

Also, if you’re up before dawn, you may need to learn how to encourage sleeping-in and longer naps

If you have a few kids who still nap, try to put them all down for a nap at the same time, this will give you much needed time to rest.

Hopefully some of these options resonated with you. But know, dear tired mom, that you are not alone!

Bedtime Brain Release Sheet

Don’t end the day with anxiety, stress, and a full mind.

This evening brain dump journal sheet will help you get in a peaceful mindset so you too can sleep peacefully through the night.

We’re in a tiring season and if we play our cards right, in a few years we might get to sleep in and have our dear darlings bring us breakfast in bed 😉

Sources:

Factors affecting mothers happiness

How alone time leads to happiness

Happy mother predictor of family outcomes

When In Survival Mode… Crucial Questions To Ask Yourself

Often moms get in survival mode and find it hard to get out. Or even more urgently, find it hard to take care of the kids in the day to day. Here are strategies plus some encouragement for the emotionally exhausted mom.

I remember the day clearly. Walking into the kitchen, I saw a dirty pile of dishes stacked near the sink.

I stopped, stared at the pile that seemed high as Mt. Everest, and begin having an immediate panic attack.

Then, I left the kitchen, ran to the bedroom, and threw myself down on the bed sobbing.

I could.not.do. One More Thing.

The thought of having to do a 15 minute household chore was enough to keep me on the bed crying for two hours. It was intense, it was exaggerated, but it was very real.

It was also my first indication of where I was living in that season of my life. I was a burnt out stay at home mom and I was in…

Survival mode.

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

pinpoint an issue

draw out how it’s affecting you

label what you don’t like about it

determine areas of responsibility

figure out how it’s showing up

say what you’d rather happen

brainstorm solutions

So what is survival mode? Let’s look at the meaning…

Let’s draw an illustration together.

Imagine a cart full of neatly stacked juicy red apples.

Then imagine that the cart gets tipped sideways and those neatly stacked apples begin tumbling out onto the ground.

Of course, you want to get those apples back on the cart and clean up the mess.

So you begin to pick up the fallen apples and put them back on the cart, but – since the cart is still leaning sideways – as soon as you put an apple back, another one falls to the ground in its place.

So now, instead of pushing the cart to your destination and humming happily, you’re frantically trying to get all the rogue apples back into the cart.

This is the meaning of survival mode.

Previously you had energy for other things.

Now, all your energy goes to trying to get those renegade apples back on the lopsided cart without another avalanche.

It is exhausting – one step forward three steps back – and leaves little time to do the other things in life for which you previously had both the energy and the capacity.

So what is the answer?

To get the cart right side up.

Read: Strategies For Overwhelmed Moms Who Want To Escape

How To Know If You’re Living In Survival Mode Mentality (And How To Get Out)

Survival mode can be physical, emotional, mental and practical.

It is when you are doing just enough to keep life going and, in order to stay afloat, you have to let many other important areas of life slip by the wayside just to have the energy to stay above water.

Survival mode is dangerous in many ways and, while it can’t be avoided sometimes, we should attempt to get out of it as quick as we can by striking at the root.

How can we go forward from here?

Related Reads:

The Real Reason Moms Never Have Enough Time (Hint: It’s Not Because They Waste It)

How To Live Within Your Limits And Hold Your Boundaries

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

Questions To Ask Yourself If You’re In Survival Mode… Unraveling It All

While you’re in it, things seem so confusing and overwhelming.

You’re stressed.

You’re worried.

You might be depressed.

But you are absolutely over it all.

1. What Exactly Is Happening To Keep You Here?

Ask yourself the following questions.

When did this feeling start?

Was it a rapid decline or a gradual slope?

What could have triggered survival mode?

Is the whole family in survival mode or just me?

Is this a season that is likely to pass soon? (Like pregnancy, a move, life transition)

Do I feel on the verge of a “nervous breakdown” at times?

Sometimes all it takes is us asking ourselves a few honest questions, and then giving ourselves honest answers, and we can determine why it is we’re feeling how we’re feeling.

Read: 5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember

2. Have I made major stressful events in my life recently?

According to a counselor who helped me through a big period of Survival Mode in my life, some of life’s most stressful events include:

marriage

moving house

divorce

becoming a parent

moving overseas

being pregnant

loss of a loved one (including miscarriage)

health crisis

If you’ve experienced one of these recently, particularly if you’ve experienced a few together… it is no wonder you are in survival mode.

When I was in bed weeping over the dishes I started evaluating what the past 3 years of my life had looked like. In that time I’d gotten married, moved houses 3 times, immigrated overseas, had a baby, and was now pregnant again…

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

I was lucky I had my hair.

And as this picture depicts, time does not really heal all wounds, it just patches them up so we can keep moving. When we’re in survival mode we keep moving with gaping wounds.

When we want to get out of survival mode, we have to stop patching up and start healing.

Read: The Stay At Home Mom Schedule That’ll Keep You Sane

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

3. Am I Trying to Tip the Cart Back Upright Or Am I Picking Up Individual Fallen Apples?

To think about the concept of survival mode a bit deeper… think about a tree’s root system.

If your tree is planted in bad soil then the fruit will be no good. You can pick all the rotten fruit off the tree you want, but it still won’t produce good fruit because the soil is bad.

To get good fruit, the roots need to be accessing good soil, or soil with the nutrients needed to give life to the plant.

Dealing with only the symptoms of your problems (crying at the dishes) will mean you’re running around like a manic gardener pulling bad fruit off the tree, but never actually dealing with bottom line: that a tree without access to good soil will never thrive.

What this means practically is finding ways to cope in the “now” as you work to meet the deeper needs that are keeping you in survival mode.

In a few short years I’d given up many of the ways I used to cope and relax because I simply didn’t prioritize them. I didn’t know that dropping a few of my previous habits would actually put my mental health in jeopardy.

After all, I was just busy taking care of my family.

I decided to stop wasting my time putting fallen apples back on a tipped cart. Instead, I dug deep trying to figure out how to strengthen my muscles and turn the cart upright again.

Related Reads:

The Key To Being A Calm Mom, No Matter How You Feel

Why Am I An Angry Mom? 5 Anger Triggers & How To Manage Them

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

Start Now

4. Am I Giving Myself Time and Space to Heal?

Part of getting out of survival mode means having time to yourself. So many things go by the wayside when you’re focusing on keeping your kids, your house, your relationships or your career afloat.

When you’re so busy trying to do one thing you often let other things go, even things high up on your priority list.

If you are in financial trouble and are battling to just pay the mortgage so the house doesn’t get foreclosed, you’ll become stressed and relationships and friendships may suffer.

All your emotional and mental energy will go into fixing this problem and the stress will start to consume you. When stress begins to consume us we stop sleeping. But sleep is the #1 way to reduce stress.

Taking time away while we’re trying to sort things out is vital.

What matters is that you prioritize and make happen some time to be alone and get cracking on a plan to tip back the cart and re-stack the apples.

Practical Coping Strategies for Survival Mode

Pregnancy

Whatever it costs you, get as much rest as possible. Lack of sleep increases stress exponentially.

Adjust your expectations. Pregnancy is a season of life that will not last forever so banish the mommy guilt and just do what you must to get by.

Lock yourself and the kids in a safe room. Yes, I said that. Take the kids into a room with toys and lay down while they play. This means you aren’t chasing anyone around the house and you can rest your weary body.

Ask, trade, or beg for help. Even a few hours to lay down and nap during the day will make a big difference. Ask older ladies in your church for help, you’ll be surprised how willing they are to lend a hand. If you can, hire a mother’s helper.

General Mom Weariness

Learn to take better care of yourself. This isn’t selfish, it’s sane. I’ve created a whole self-care guide to help moms get back on track that you can check out here.

Slow down your life. This may mean cancelling kids’ activities or finding someone else to chauffeur. Take yourself out of commitments, responsibilities outside the home, and false standards you’ve put on yourself to “be involved” in everything. Limit activities per week vigilantly and just stay at home.

Take a 48 hour mommy vacation if you’re able. It doesn’t have to cost a lot.

Read this NYT bestselling book called Say Goodbye To Survival Mode and put it into practice. You won’t be sorry.

Relationship Stresses and Struggles

Find a few trusted confidantes that are trustworthy and godly and share your heart with them.

Get counseling for hurts you’re hanging onto that it’s time to shed. There will be a wide range of options from people in your church to professionals, but getting an outside perspective can help you move forward.

Read Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life and be amazed at what a difference it makes with friendships, family, and your marriage.

Do my Overcoming Overwhelm Guide which will help you focus on a few key areas that are bringing you down so you can go forward in freedom.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Parenting on the Same Page

You and your co-parent (spouse, ex, step, etc.) won’t always see eye to eye—but that doesn’t mean parenting has to feel like a constant battle. This workshop will help you communicate clearly, find common ground, and handle disagreements without drama, so you can focus on raising great kids instead of fighting over the details. Because parenting differences are normal, but constant conflict doesn’t have to be.

Start Now

Homemaking Issues

Toss, organize, and downsize ruthlessly if clutter and mess is a problem. Consider reading the wildly popular The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up.

Do a house walk and let some easy quick wins help you to feel a bit more in control and on top of home issues.

Lower your expectations and develop realistic ones about what your home will look like during this season.

Hire out if possible. Get a mother’s helper, nanny, cleaner, or laundry helper. Know that this money will be well spent.

Do some quick projects to help keep you on top of these things that are piling up.

101+ 15 Minute Projects

In just 15 minutes a night (while you’re in your pajamas!) take your home (and heart and mind) from stressed out to organized.

Bedtime Brain Release Sheet

Don’t end the day with anxiety, stress, and a full mind.

This evening brain dump journal sheet will help you get in a peaceful mindset so you too can sleep peacefully through the night.

Some situations can seem impossible to get out of, and perhaps for the moment they may be.

However, with some clear thinking, a plan for support, and hope for your apple cart, you can move in the right direction.

Sometimes surviving the day is our Big Goal, and that’s okay.

For a time.

But if that day turns into a week then into a month then a year… your mental and emotional health will seriously suffer.

Sources:

Factors affecting mothers happiness

How alone time leads to happiness

Happy mother predictor of family outcomes

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