Are you dreading after-school homework battles? You aren’t alone. There is nothing like picking up your sweet kids from school, seeing them wave goodbye to their friends, and then watching them get into the car and immediately start whining.
After-school meltdowns are a real thing, mama.
Here's what we're talking about...
What makes them worse? Getting home and immediately trying to force them to sit at the table and work.
If you want a stress-free evening, you need a predictable system. Here is a step-by-step homework routine for kids that helps them decompress, settle down, and get their work done without the daily struggle.
Set Up a Dedicated Homework Workstation
A friendly work area can go a long way…
Some kids are better at focusing and getting a job done than others. Some can read a 500 page chapter book in the middle of the floor with barking dogs, yelling kids, the TV on, etc.
On the other hand, some need a designated space and place for their attention and motivation.
Tidy Routines CHECKLIST
Follow this checklist until your tidy routines become second nature.
The second one is me. So, I get it when kids don’t want to settle down and do homework when there isn’t a “homework safe” place.
- Pick a spot designated for their homework, or one that can easily become their homework spot when necessary (barroom desk, dining room table, corner nook).
- Hang a calendar set up, a jar of pencils, and a pencil sharpener. It doesn’t have to be fancy (although it could be). A homework caddy like this one will make it fun!
- Address the kids when school starts. Say: “I know you’re going to have some homework; let’s make a good spot here so you can do a good job.”
- Keep this area ready for homework after school. Don’t pile it full of other things or push it aside when life gets busy.
Here’s a child-approved tip: keep a fun/healthy/favorite snack on hand. Snacks really help!
This is also a case-by-case situation, but most kids will achieve their homework better when they aren’t distracted.
Being “focused” during homework time is part of a good homework routine. This happens when a child decides to get their task done without worrying about other things.
Other things like:
- younger siblings demanding attention
- their electronic devices
- the TV
- what’s for dinner
- people coming & going out of the room
- pets
- toys
Reframe “Work Before Play”
I talk about this as it relates to transitions. You know, when kids melt down because they have to go from something the love to something they don’t like.
Nobody wants to quit playing outside, put down their game, or come away from the TV to do homework. But, they would enjoy the fact that their homework is completed and now to the reward of ___________.
Flipping the script on “work before play”
I would never say: “You don’t get to do anything you want until your homework is done.”
Instead, I would say: ” After you complete your homework, you get to go have fun.”
Flipping the “work before play” script into a positive drives motivation and helps avoid meltdowns.
If kids know that your boundary has been set (AKA I can play after I get my homework done), and you don’t waiver from this, things will go smoother.
Eliminate Common Distractions
Doing your kids homework for them not only hinders their independence, but also makes them lazy. And yes, parents really do this…
On the other hand, some parents struggle to find time to help their kids because evenings are so busy.
I recommend something in the middle. This goes back to finding a location for homework that works well with your lifestyle and suits mom and kids.
- This homework location has to be somewhere where you can motivate your kids when needed. There will be times when they have to be reminded to stay on task, etc.
- It also has to be somewhere where you can swoop in and help if needed. For example, possibly at the kitchen bar while you are doing dinner prep.
Always be prepared to encourage when needed. Sometimes just a simple “I love how hard you are working” will do the trick.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open with Teachers
Kids love to know that mom and the teacher are on the same page. I am quick to email, call, or message one of my kiddo’s teachers whenever I have a question or concern.
This goes for homework too. Whatever it is, I know that communication with their teachers makes their learning processes smoother.
Here’s the truth: when kids know that you can (and will) speak with their teacher, they will be more apt to keep a healthy homework routine.
Create an atmosphere where mistakes are acceptable and effort is praised
You’re going to see home homework assignments (especially in the elementary age) that make no sense to you. Just go with it…
Foster a homework routine that strives for 100% effort, not 100% perfection.
Now, math may be the exception because you want math to be correct. But, on most things… homework is about training in accountability and getting that little extra practice. That’s it.
Plus, when you’re both striving for perfection things can get frustrating. When in reality, homework isn’t about that.
Routines To Cut Through The Crazy
Get my cheat sheets and find your family’s groove. Chore, independent play, meal, nap, bedtime, and MORE routine ideas!
Aim for completion and participation, not perfection
- Homework can be a bonding time when the pressure to be perfect is lifted.
- Your goal is to aim for happy camper participation.
- Get it done, go have some fun.
Frequently Asked Questions
A good rule of thumb is the 10-Minute Rule: roughly 10 minutes of homework per night per grade level (e.g., 10–20 minutes for 1st/2nd graders, up to 60 minutes for 6th graders).
Start with a micro-goal. Ask them to do just 5 minutes or complete just two problems, then take a 1-minute stretch break. Often, getting over the initial hurdle of starting is the hardest part.
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