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Do you ever feel like you don’t have any time to spend on your hobbies and creative pursuits? Has motherhood put a damper on your creativity? If you want to get back creativity, this is for you!

Before having children I had all sorts of hobbies. Oh yes… I was one busy woman. I read books, exercised, redid furniture I found at garage sales, and all kinds of other stuff.

I had the time.

I had the energy.

I had the motivation.

And it felt good!

Then I had a baby. And then I had 3 more. In 3 years. And somewhere along the way, my capacity for creativity died. The desire to be creative and the satisfaction I got from it did not go away, but that former “go get ’em” drive faded more and more with each passing month. I began to feel like all I had time to do was meet everyone’s daily needs and then read a book or watch TV to escape the stress.

Here is how I’ve attempted to remain creative when I really don’t have the time or capacity.

1. Quick and satisfying projects

I sewed a slipcover one time for a horribly ugly couch I bought at good will. I bought the couch because I wanted to sew the slipcover. Shortly after I began to sew that dadgum slipcover I wanted to go quietly into the night and end it all. It took an hour or two each evening for a month. Probably longer because I’d walk past it every day and give it the evil eye but not really sew that much. What’s my point? I did NOTHING else creative the entire time I was trying to do the slipcover because it was an all-consuming project. I should have just bought a nicer couch.

By doing projects that are quick and easy (like this) you are actually able to finish what you start. Busy and trying seasons of life probably aren’t the time to take on an elaborate hobby, but you can always find 15 or 30 minutes. Even if it involves construction paper, which leads me to…

Boundaries & Behavior

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Tech on Your Terms

The “Tech on Your Terms” workshop helps parents create a step-by-step technology introduction plan that aligns with their family values, is age-appropriate, and gradually increases their children’s tech access while maintaining parental boundaries.

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2. Get the kids involved

Sometimes I honestly feel creatively satisfied doing craft time and our Fruit of the Spirit curriculum with the kids. While they are practicing using the scissors or coloring, I will often sit and mindlessly paint, draw, or color shapes. I’m not calling myself Mrs. Henri Matisse over here, but I’ll say it feels good.

Quick sewing projects painting, redoing furniture, and other crafts are usually fun and interesting to children so there’s no need to wait until they’re in bed to get started. In fact, waiting until they’re in bed will likely mean you don’t get around to it!

3. One thing at a time

Just because you used to do many creative pursuits pre-motherhood doesn’t mean you have to attempt them all now. There are seasons and years when you’ll do more than others and that’s okay. That’s life! If you only have limited bandwidth or budget then pick one hobby or creative pursuit at a time. Whether you join an art class or have a craft night at your home, sticking to one thing at a time might help you release some of your creativity without becoming overloaded.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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If you need to get our creative juices flowing then NOW IS THE TIME! There’s a massively huge and awesome DIY bundle sale going on. Just click below to see over 75 ebooks and ecourses available to you for only $34.95!

So many of us anxiously awaited motherhood. Then, when it came, found ourselves slightly confused. Yes, I’m a mom and happy about it. But is that all I am? Let’s tackle some sahm identity issues head on!

I’ve written on my stay-at-home-mom identity crisis before. It’s one of my most popular posts because – well – it’s a common thing. You’re a tired mom and the resume for a stay at home mom is practically endless.

You grow up and can’t wait to go to college.

You go to college and can’t wait to get married.

You get married and can’t wait to have kids.

You have kids and can’t wait to… hmm… I don’t know… sleep again?

Is this it? Who have I become? Have I lost myself? 

I believe we get in this quandary because we often find identity in what we do as opposed to who we are.

But that’s easy to type and hard to internalize because… well… we are what we do, aren’t we? We mother throughout the day because we’re mothers. We feed our children because we’re nourishers. We try to be the best spouse we can be because we’re wives. We try to live biblically because we’re Christians. Or whatever the case may be.

So, how can we find our own identity outside of motherhood?

1. What are your strengths? 

Before children, what were your strengths?

Now, as a mother, what are your strengths?

You’ll carry the strengths you’ve always had into motherhood, and likely motherhood has introduced you to more of your strengths. However, you had plenty of strong points before you were ever a mommy. Your strengths will point you towards how you were created as a person. If you were disciplined or fun or creative or a good listener, these will give you clues as to how you can best love and serve others. Maybe it’s time to ask others what they think and then learn to take a compliment.

I believe that we are most fulfilled in life when we’re using the talents and gifts God gave us. If you dig around to find your strengths, and begin to piece a way to use those for yourself, your family, and others, you may find fulfillment and satisfaction where you were previously just trying to survive the day.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

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2. What are you drawn towards?

Before children, what were you drawn towards?

Now, as a mother, what are you drawn towards?

There are seasons where we are interested in specific things. Perhaps we read about parenting now that we’re parents, or perhaps we read a lot about travel before we went backpacking. But, aside from season and stage of life interests, what are the things deep down that interest you. That spike your curiosity. That you’d read about for no reason except you were just interested.

This may be history, art, psychology, biographies, language books, or anything else under the sun. I believe that what we are passionate about is no coincidence. Sure, it may not end up being an income earner for us, but that doesn’t mean God can’t use it. I’ve always been drawn towards history and mystery. For me, it means that I often dig out the meaning behind things or don’t settle for face value. I dig and root around until I get to the heart of a matter. This means that people can feel very understood and heard when they have a deep talk with me. I think, if used positively, it’s a great strength.

3. What would you do if money was no worry?

Before children, what type of “extra” did you spend your money on?

Now, as a mother, if you had some extra money lying around, what would you do with it?

Now, money is not at the heart of our identity, but what we spend our money on can help lead us to our passions. I’d always take an experience or a trip over something material. My heart loves the adventure, seeing new places, and meeting new people. I believe that’s how God made me and that He uses that about me to be able to relate to those whom others might think are difficult or odd. After you’ve lived on a few continents, you don’t think very much is odd at all!

If you had the money to give to what causes you wanted, where would you give? This might show you where your compassion lies and give you an indication of where you can spend some time and effort in the future.

4. If you could only pass on one thing to your kids, what would it be?

If I only had one child, I think I’d be a helicopter parent. With each child added to our family I’ve become less and less of a hoverer and more focused on where I put my energy. Issues of character, behavior, responsibility, and spiritual development are priorities. Anything else just doesn’t have room in my brain. From this I can see that raising little rescuers, warriors, and strong godly children is something God has given me a passion for.

Are you always exposing your children to music, languages or sports? Is one-on-one play a huge part of your day? Do you seek to make sure your children constantly feel loved and accepted? These are indications of where your strengths lie. Perhaps you’re pastoral. Maybe you’re a creativity champion. You could be able to bring out the best in people. Think of how you relate to your kids easily, and expand that into other areas of your life.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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5. You won’t always be so “tied down”

There are seasons of life. Each season has with it ups and downs, priorities, and different activities that come under the “urgent” category. When children are very small, there are actually many daily things that are urgent and eat away at time you have for other things. You can’t neglect diaper changes. Children are unable to feed or clothe themselves or put themselves in the car or even in bed. You simply don’t have as much time as you will later in life.

As children get older the daily priorities will change, and while you’ll still be busy and always have things to do relating to your children emotionally, you will be freed up to use your gifts elsewhere more often. Every time you leave the house you won’t need a baby sitter. Eventually, you’ll be able to involve your kids with you as you serve others and use your gifts.

Being a mom is hard. It’s rewarding and a privilege, but it’s dang hard. It’s all consuming. You give and give and give for years and years. And, in so doing, you can lose some of what makes you you. Actually you don’t lose it, you just forget where it is. When you begin to wonder what your identity is, remember this.

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

• pinpoint an issue
• draw out how it’s affecting you
• label what you don’t like about it
• determine areas of responsibility
• figure out how it’s showing up
• say what you’d rather happen
• brainstorm solutions

Your identity isn’t what you do, it’s who you are. 

And even though it may seem buried right now, and though motherhood changes us all, we’re still the same women we were before. Except, in my opinion, even better.

Read: Children aren’t in the way, they are the way

Tell me, how did God make you?

The supermom myth is alive and strong and can be damaging to a mother’s mental health. We want to be organized and well, but is there a price?

Jenny has had 3 kids and still… like I’m not joking… has abs. 

Veronica’s house is always spotless and I’m pretty sure she actually fluffs her pillows.

Kristen cooks out of the fancy cookbooks that don’t even use cans or jars… every.single.night. 

I saw Amy wearing high heels the other day. I don’t even think she was going to a wedding. 

What is it about mothers who want to be supermom?

Is there something about motherhood that causes navel-gazing? It’s like having children changes your life not only physically and practically, but mentally and emotionally as well. But what’s navel gazing, anyway?

Navel-gazing (n): self-indulgent or excessive contemplation of oneself or a single issue, at the expense of a wider view. (source)

I have a theory about why motherhood causes excessive navel-gazing (read my other theory about why you are a tired mom). I think it’s because it’s perhaps the only life event that makes a desire to be “perfect” seem necessary, right, and justifiable. Because after all, it’s for the children. 

So what is a supermom, anyway?

A supermom is a mother who has it all together. The woman who looks good and cooks good. Her kids always behave and have impeccable manners.

Her husband is respected at the gates and she stays up late making coverings for her bed and purple linen gowns. Or something like that.

Just look at her  resume for the stay at home mom.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

13-18, 6-12

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

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Is she so “on top of things” that we feel inadequate?

But really, a supermom (in our eyes) is any other woman whose lifestyle and choices makes us feel inadequate. This is actually both bad news and good news. 

But it doesn’t. Why? Because these little people we’ve been entrusted with mean the world to us. They are worthy of our best effort, our hardest work, and all that we have to offer.

We love them so much, in fact, that we think they deserve the best that anyone has to offer.

We want to be the best mothers ever for our kids!

Suddenly previously unattainable qualities we never worried about become sources of discomfort and envy.

We begin to worry that our children will grow up stunted and lacking in that which other children have. It no longer seems silly to strive to be the very best at everything. All the time. After all, our kids deserve it.

Still… here are some reasons the Super Hero Mother myth hurts us

…we don’t want to feel less than the best.

… and we don’t want our kids to have less than the best.

…plus we erroneously think we can be the best.

…we don’t get that it’s impossible to have every aspect of life under control all the time. Ever.

Genetics are non-negotiable

At 40 weeks and 5 days some women don’t even look pregnant. Their mothers and grandmothers probably didn’t either. They have a baby and wear their size 4 jeans home from the hospital.

You know what? Good for them! You know what else? That ain’t everyone’s normal! That’s okay. You may have put on some extra weight during your pregnancies and have yet to lose it.

If it bothers you then that’s something you’ll have to navigate on your own through diet, exercise, or acceptance.

But, as my father-in-law told me with my first pregnancy, “You may have to find a new normal.“

We can keep healthy habits and let the rest go

Sometimes our genetics put us at a distinct advantage as mothers, and sometimes they don’t. Those who are naturally self-motivated, self-confident and industrious will likely be seen to “have it all together.”

It doesn’t mean they do, but they may surely give off that impression. Just because you don’t feel naturally inclined to do – or not do – certain things doesn’t mean you are not a good mother.

You cannot change who God made you to be, you can only change your habits and practices. Don’t think you are sub-par if things come as a struggle to you.

Bedtime Brain Release Sheet

Don’t end the day with anxiety, stress, and a full mind.

This evening brain dump journal sheet will help you get in a peaceful mindset so you too can sleep peacefully through the night.

Ask someone else to tell you your strengths, and learn to take a compliment.

Different people value different things in different seasons

A clean house may be a priority for some women because they aren’t able to function well in a mess. It doesn’t mean they are looking down their nose at you or that your children are going to need counselling when they are 30. It just means it’s a priority for her.

You may go to her house and feel instantly self-conscious about your own humble abode, but stop with the mommy guilt! So her house is clean and yours isn’t? Maybe you use that time playing with your children, doing crafts or activities or reading books.

Maybe the other mom finds it a struggle to relax and just be with her kids because the state of the home bugs her.

It’s okay if you evaluate your own family’s priorities and act accordingly. That will mean that others do things better than you in some areas, and in some areas you do better than others.

That’s life. That’s okay. That doesn’t mean you are a failure nor does it mean you’re superior to others. And what’s the point of comparing anyway?  

There are times and seasons for everything under the sun and being able to embrace your season is truly a gift you can give yourself and your family.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

3. You don’t know the struggles of others

If you grab on to one thing from this post today let it be this: we do not know what others are going through just by looking at them. They might say the right things, do the right things, have immaculately dressed children who are obedient and genius-like. And they might cry themselves to sleep every night. We simply can’t judge a mom by her performance alone because she’s more than what she does for her kids or how well she keeps her house.

We often put women on pedestals, or drag women off pedestals, based on how well we think they perform in certain areas. But just like social media, what we see of a woman is only snips and snapshots. We don’t know what she’s going through emotionally, mentally or financially. Some women we may spend time comparing ourselves with may feel they are wholly inadequate themselves.

4. Your kids don’t care

Your children love you. They love you because you are their mother and they were created to love and desire to be loved by you. They don’t need you to obsess over your body, the menu, smudged windows or how cute their clothes are. Your daughter doesn’t care if you don’t dress as cute as your friends or if you are carrying an extra 10 pounds. In fact, she probably didn’t even know you were fat.

Your kids want your time, attention, acceptance, and support. They want to know you’ll fight for them and their future. They want to know you care more about them than how many mommy’s groups you go to or how many charity committees you chair. Sure, they need to see you being active and giving towards others. Of course you want to set an example. But don’t waste your time trying to be someone you are not, when your kids already think you are a super mom.

So… is it okay to not strive to be a “supermom?”

It’s okay not to try to be like a supermom because supermoms don’t actually exist. 

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.

There are things you do super well. There are things I do super well. There are things we both do poorly. There’s no point in resenting another woman for doing something better than you. She doesn’t care. Anyway, she’s probably too busy resenting her neighbor to notice.

Do you fall into the trap of wanting to be a “supermom”? What are your thoughts?

PS – The images and mom titles I created were meant only for fun and basically represent mothers I envy in certain areas. So please don’t be offended by them because if anything they are about my own insecurities, not you!! I actually do encourage having a good body image during pregnancy, maintaining an orderly home, and spending individual time with your children.