Home Hacks

The Evening Sweep… An Easy Way to a Tidy Home

Do you ever feel that you are running around in circles trying to tidy, but it still remains a mess? The evening sweep is one routine that’ll help keep your house clean with minimal effort.

It’s 8 p.m. and all the kids are in bed.

You just want to fall down on the couch comatose.

Then eat ice cream, binge watch Netflix, and recover from your hyper-vigilant day.

You’re the typical tired mom. And that’s okay. That’s your season of life.

But there’s something else that compounds the tired weary feeling, and that’s an untidy home. Not because you “should” have a spotless home with no clutter anywhere. No “should’s” allowed.

But because clutter and untidiness actually has a negative affect on your mind. The Princeton University Neuroscience Institute puts it this way:

Multiple stimuli present in the visual field at the same time compete for neural representation by mutually suppressing their evoked activity throughout visual cortex, providing a neural correlate for the limited processing capacity of the visual system.

Then they paraphrased that for us mortals by saying this: when your environment is cluttered, your mind becomes distracted and unable to process information as well as you do in an organized environment.

It’s not rocket science people… it’s apparently neuroscience.

What’s an “evening sweep?”

An evening sweep is when you take 5-15 minutes going from room to room in your home tidying up, returning things to their place, and straightening.

I started this years ago and it’s one of my favorite and most effective ways to keep a relatively clutter free home.

I go through phases (late pregnancy, a massive de-cluttering phase, or a busy time with work) where I don’t do it every single night, and I feel those effects immediately.

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Family Tidy Routines

This workshop will help you build a simple 15-minute daily routine that fits into real life—so the house stays (mostly) clean and the kids finally learn to help. Because a clean home is a team effort, not a one-mom show.

Start Now

1. Do it before you sit down

This is key for me. If I crash before I do the sweep, it often doesn’t get done. I use the rest time as incentive to push through and do it.

When I walk from the last child’s room or away from the kitchen sink, I’ll quickly walk around and start putting things back where they go, in the laundry, etc.

Then, as soon as I’m finished, I’ll relax. Sometimes with a good book, nice drink, or whatever else I feel like that evening. If you don’t do it before you enter relax mode, it probably won’t get done.

2. Do it quickly with purpose

The key here is to have the goal be the sweep and to do it quickly. If you are the type to get distracted by many things along the way, try your best to focus.

Otherwise, you’ll end up not having swept anything and have created a few new piles of things to captivate your attention.

3. Have the kids help before bed

I’ll often have the kids help me do a sweep of their things around the house before bed. At various points throughout the day we’ll tidy up so that the mess doesn’t get so big it takes an hour in the evening.

The goal is to do small sweeps – and have your kids do them as well – throughout the day so that one final evening sweep leaves you with a tidy home.

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

No Nag Chore Routines

Getting kids to do chores shouldn’t be a daily battle. Let me help you build a simple, age-appropriate system that teaches independence, teamwork, and responsibility—without constant micromanaging. Because a well-run home isn’t about doing it all yourself.

Start Now

4. Use a timer if need be

If you tend to get distracted or are worried it’ll be an endless tidy up leaving no time for relaxing, set your handy timer.

I’m going to write a post soon on all the ways you can use a timer, but suffice it to say, set it for 10 minutes and go hard and fast.

Then you know it’ll end. If your home is a big mess then you don’t have to try and climb Everest in one night. Baby steps will build better habits than big jumps you can’t maintain. This is the timer I use

Pssst… grab a 2 pack of timers here.

5. You’ll thank yourself tomorrow

There is honestly a lot to be said for waking up to a tidy home. Of course your little love bombs will blow it all up within an hour or two of waking, but that’s okay.

They’re kids.

Waking up to a tidy home is such a nice way to reset and start your day right. You probably already have a good mom morning routine, and if you’ve done your evening sweep you won’t even need tidying in that morning routine.

I may be in the minority, but I let my kids make a monster mess if they want to because they’ll be the ones picking it up. So don’t be fooled into thinking the house is always clean and tidy.

It isn’t.

However, I do make an effort to end the day that way and it really really really (and a few more really’s) helps my mental health.

How can I teach my toddlers to help clean up?

Make it part of your daily routine so that they know it happens and teach them how to do it – where to put toys, what should be cleaned up, rules, etc. the more that you involve them in doing sweeps in your house, the more they will take ownership of the process and the easier it will get!

What are the most important areas or tasks to prioritize during my evening sweep?

I usually try to pick up the main level of my house in my evening sweep and the kids do an evening sweep of their rooms before they go to bed. The kitchen and living room tend to accumulate the most messes, so I focus my energy there during my evening sweep.

Are there any strategies for decluttering or organizing that can help reduce the amount of cleaning required on a nightly basis?

I am a big advocate for minimalism and rotating toys so that there are less things to make messes, which helps cut down on the amount of time needed to clean up. With less stuff around the house and a focus evening sweep routine, I am (mostly) able to stay on top of keeping the house tidy without spending too much time cleaning after the kids are in bed.

Sunday Evening Routines That Make The Week Less Stressful

Let’s be honest, going into a new week can sometimes be very stressful. Here are some Sunday evening routines for busy moms that will help ease some of the pain:

If there’s one evening that can set the tone for the rest of the week… it’s Sunday evenings.

There’s a thing people like to call the Sunday Scaries.

It’s like… Monday is coming, I’m not interested, but it’s going to show up anyway, and I’m maybe not super prepared.

A great way to avoid the Sunday Scaries and the Monday Moodswings is to do a little bit of prep on Sunday evenings by way of Sunday evening routines.

Meal plan for the week & order groceries.

The week goes so much smoother when food has been planned out. Not only that, but it can be more cost effective as well.

Maybe you jot down the main dinners you’re gong to cook, or maybe you make detailed plans for every day.

Whatever your method is, adding food goals for the week to a Sunday night routine is a great idea.

Have you ever thought about pre-ordering your groceries to be picked up/delivered? I have found that when I do this, I do less impulse buying.

Not only that, but I also feel more organized when I sit down and plan exactly what I need to purchase.

Read: Best Planners for Moms Based On Personality

Look at the week’s schedule.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I need a personal assistant to help me organize where I need to be… and when.

But, when I get organized on Sunday evening (for the week), it is a lot less stressful.

Go over schedules for the week ahead (sports, activities, church events, date night, etc.)
Make phone calls or reach out to people I need to communicate with.
Organize rides, food reservations, who is bringing what…
Communicate with family about daily plans or special events.

Plans for the wardrobe.

It’s not a crazy idea at all to have a week’s worth of your kids clothes ready to put on. In fact, this activity can be a great thing to add to a Sunday evening routine.

Actually, it can even be relaxing or enjoyable. I have been known to use this time to bond with my kids (discuss their likes/dislikes).

And, it can help with establishing your laundry routines as well. Imagine… always knowing that your kids have matching socks ready to put on.

Read These While You’re At It

10 Simple Organizing Projects for the New Year

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6 Easy and Effortless Tips for Organization with Kids

5 Daily Habits For Kids That Makes Your Life Easier

7 Simple Things You Can Do To Prepare Your Family For The Whole Year

Brain dump onto your master to-do list.

This activity alone can help reduce stress.

Taking the time on a Sunday evening to brain dump anything/everything for the upcoming week onto a master list is a great idea.

You can set back and organize it later, but this gives you the freedom to step into the week knowing you have a “list” written and it’s off your brain.

Discuss with your spouse upcoming events.

Sunday evenings are a very manageable time to sync your calendars. It’s easy to remember to sync schedules when you do it every Sunday evening at the same time.

For some, busy schedules and special activities can be overwhelming. You know what’s even more overwhelming?

When you forgot to tell your spouse about an important event that you need help with and he already has concrete commitments of his own.

Read: Your Family’s Schedule: 6 Crucial Considerations

Do a room-to-room sweep.

You may already do a daily sweep. But, on Sunday evening you can spend 15 minutes or so bringing things back into their correct rooms.

It never fails that baskets, toys, or linens end up in the incorrect rooms throughout the week. Sunday can be the prefect time just to make sure everything is back in its place.

It feels going into the week knowing that things are in their right locations.

Read These While You’re At It

A Doable Weekly Cleaning Schedule For Busy Moms Daily Chores for Kids that Help Prepare Them for Life

How To Keep A Tidy House With Little Kids – It’s Possible!

routines to help keep a tidy home with kids

Routines to Keep a Tidy Home With Kids

Set some personal goals.

I’m not talking about unrealistic goals… because those just cause more stress. Set some goals to help eliminate some stress for yourself.

How much time are you going to spend daily doing something fun for you, reading, or simply resting?
What activities are you going to do with your kids to get that cherished one-on-one time?
How are you going to achieve your nutrition/ work out plan?

Set some goals, put them in the calendar, and pray for the best.

Read: Sunday Morning Routines To Stop The Before Church Madness

Make it electronic free.

Moms everywhere are finding that electronics seem to agitate certain situations. One of these conditions is the winding down, end of the day, plan for tomorrow situation.

Let’s be honest.. it can be stressful.

Why? There are some times where electronics don’t help.

It’s very difficult to get kids to cooperate with planning, organizing, or prepping when all they can think about is their game, etc. It’s like their brains just wont let them work.

So, establishing a Sunday evening electronic free routine can be a peaceful way to handle getting what you want done.

Declutter surfaces.

If your house is anything like mine, some surfaces seem to collect things throughout the week. It’s just part of life.

Mail, toys, art supplies, books, random things from the van…etc. They all seem to clutter surfaces around the house.

Here’s a tip:

Designate a basket and “sweep” all surface left items into it.
Family members must retrieve their items (and put them in their proper location) or you do away with them.

In my opinion, there’s no reason to leave surfaces cluttered to start the new week. Plus, everything feels cleaner when you can see.

It’s a great reset to start the week.

Examine the entrances to your home.

Nothing will make your Monday morning feel hectic like a messy front porch or entrance way. Do you accumulate stacks of things by your door during the week?

Packages, things that need go away (donations, return items, etc.), even pizza boxes.

What about the porch?

Don’t leave the weekend’s activities sitting out where they are gong to be tripped over out the door on Monday morning.

Eliminate stress by taking the time of Sunday evening to attack those piles. Make the entrance way to your house the segue to a stress-free Monday.

How can I get on the same page as my spouse on Sundays?

Have a Sunday “business meeting” where you only talk about the business for the week, like the logistics, calendar, meals, etc. When you have a focus, this can be done efficiently in about 20 minutes and can make sure you’re on the same page for the week ahead.

How can I get my kids excited for our Sunday evening routines?

Make it fun! Play music, make games out of cleaning up, or do something fun together as a family after the logistics are taken care of, like a family walk or play a game.

How can I organize my Sunday evening routine so nothing is forgotten?

I love my Homemaking Binder for this! All of the things your household needs to keep track of in one, easy to find place, including your Sunday night routines.

Laundry Routines That’ll Make the Piles Smaller and Life Easier

Are you ready to try some simple laundry routines that will help make life easier for you? If you’re piles are building up and your loosing focus, try these things:

Laundry is the bane of my existence. I go in fits and starts with it. Sometimes I’m on top of it.

Then that enthusiasm wanes and then I decide I’m over it for a while and then the laundry piles up. But in order to have some type of consistency with the clothes – and nobody running out of socks – it’s important to at least have a good laundry routine that works.

Whether you do it, you your spouse does it, or the kids do it.

Pick a Method that Works for You

When it comes to laundry routines, not having a method is what leads to piles and piles of dirty clothes. It’s no secret, laundry takes time and consideration.

If not, it can be a wreck (in a hurry)… especially if you have multiple kids.

Consider these methods when establishing your laundry routine.

1 Day a Week

This often works for moms who work M-F and don’t want to be laundering every evening. For some, Saturday is the laundry day. For others, Sunday afternoon.

This has its positives and negatives:

Family bonding time to get the laundry done Saturday mornings.
It’s very consistent: everyone brings their hamper in on Saturday and puts all their clothes away before the new week starts.
However, if you have a Saturday obligation or are out of town- a weeks worth of laundry doesn’t get done. So, it can really pile up.

1-2 Loads a Day

This laundry routine typically works well for moms who work from home or stay-at-home full time. This is because there can “almost always” be a load going and it won’t spoil.

A downside is that it fells like it’s never ending…. and the laundry just keeps coming.

One mental shift here is to realize: laundry is never done.

It has no beginning and no end. It’s simply a cycle. So don’t think about it like it’ll ever end or you always feel behind.

Tips for this laundry routine:

Start early in the morning with a hamper and try to be done by lunch.
Have specific days penciled in do towels, kitchen rags, etc.
Set a timer on the laundry if your machine has one
Choose a specific event that, when finished, you always start a load of laundry after. So, after tidying the kitchen after breakfast you start a load.

Folding together

One easy laundry routine is the dump & sort method. You can use this one if everyone’s clothes don’t get pre-sorted before putting into the washer.

Pile all the clean clothes in the middle of the living room floor and have each kid pull their clothes out. They then make stacks of their items, fold them, and carry them to put away.

Similar to this method is the hamper sorting laundry method.

For this, each child has brought their dirty hamper into be washed. Once it get’s dried, it goes back into their hamper. We dump all the hampers into the floor (in separate piles) and fold our own piles together.

⭐ Pro tip: For towels, pool towels, and kitchen towels I recommend showing your younger children or toddlers how to fold. This will include them in the folding together, and get then started on folding.

Each Child Puts Away Their Own Clothes

If you’re laundry routine is a therapeutic folding of each child’s clothes while you watch Netflix at night, don’t fix was isn’t broken.

But, you can still train to have each child put away their own clothes the next day.

This gives them ownership in where their clothes belong
It does take some training
It may help/stop the extra piles of clean clothes from piling up

Each Kid Has an Assigned Day for Laundry

This laundry routine is just as it sounds. But, it may just be the ticket for you if the piles are building up.

Once it becomes routine, each kid will always have clean clothes and you won’t have piles of “who’s clothes are these” in the laundry room.

Here’s an expert towel trick: Hang one hook (per child) In the bathroom. Their used towel goes on the hook… period. “Towels don’t belong on your bedroom floor,” said every mom, everywhere.

Something as simple as these color coded backpack hooks will do the trick.

Read These While You’re At It

10 Things Every Mother Needs on Automatic Delivery

6 Easy and Effortless Tips for Organization with Kids

Common Habits Of Organized Stay At Home Moms – With Printable!

Every mother who feels overwhelmed and thinks her life is a chaotic mess needs to do this... a house walk.

How a “House Walk” Can Change Your Life

Simplify & Save

It’s no secret that laundry takes time, energy, and resources (water, detergent, etc.). So, why not incorporate some routines and tricks to save on these things?

Train Early

From the time mine were dressing themselves and taking off their clothes to take baths, they knew where the dirty hamper was… and how to put their clothes in it. I’m not saying they always do it, but it’s something we keep repeating.

Every family has their expectations and systems for this, but if you’re looking to have a long lasting laundry routine, training early is the ticket.

Toddlers: Can locate and put their dirty clothes in hamper.
Preschool to Kindergarten: Can bring hamper into the laundry room and do a room sweep to pick up clothes that were accidentally left on floor. They can also put away clean clothes into the correct drawers/baskets/closet systems.
Early Elementary (6-9): Can identify when hamper is “full” or they are in need of clothes, and maybe even start a load into the washer. They can hang clothes in the closet and sort/fold/put away clean clothes.
Later Elementary (10-12): They can do it all. Now, you may have to let them know when it’s time to throw their favorite shirt in the wash… but they are capable.

Re-Wear Clothes

One of the most annoying things for a mom is to wash the same pair of “clean” pajama pants over and over.

Didn’t you just wear those to bed once?

OK… so let’s put those pajamas under our covers and wear them for a bit until they are dirty. There’s no need to waste water and time and… you get it.

Re-wearing pajamas and clothes such as button up church shirts, nice slacks, and sweatshirts is a great things to teach young people.

They learn:

conservation
the value of work
to keep their closet tidy, and
to make good judgment calls.

Read These While You’re At It

Big List of Chores 2 & 3 Year-Olds Can Do On Their Own Daily Chores for Kids that Help Prepare Them for Life

Decorating + Organizing with Kids in the House

How Moms Can Work Themselves Out of Their Chores (a Step-by-Step Guide)

Limit Outfit Changes

One of my friends’ sons went to summer camp he wore all 5 of his outfits for the week in two days.

Why?

All she can think of is that he got bored and wanted to change… and change again.

Hmmm…. this is not the kind of fun mom likes to have (because it makes too much laundry!) Sometimes my kids will wear 3 outfits a day in the summer if I let them. Their morning outfit, a swimsuit, then their afternoon outfit, and maybe even ANOTHER bathing suit later .

Champagne problems, I know, but 3 outfits a day results in 21 outfits and that’s just insane.

Or, your child might like to try on multiple things before deciding what to wear. Let me explain:

Let’s say that this kid pulls three clean shirts out of the closet, and finally decides on the fourth one to wear. Well, instead of folding and putting them back (because that is hard), he throws them on the floor… or right into the hamper.

But they aren’t even dirty. So, you see the problem. If this is happening, you’ll need to be sure to train them to stop and take consideration for what is clean.

Set clear expectations for what to do with clean clothes and how many outfits (and when) you want kids to change when setting some laundry routines.

My friend does this…

A laundry routine post would be remiss if I didn’t mention how my friend Lauren handles her laundry. She only has about a week’s worth of clothes for her kids.

Not including fancier items for special occasions or extra curricular uniforms, practice clothes, etc.

So there’s never a lot to clean or wash because there’s only about a week’s worth of laundry to do at a time. If you’re into minimalism, I highly suggest this.

What laundry routine works well for having multiple kids under age 5?

Whatever you prefer and keeps you sane! For us, since the kids weren’t really helping with laundry yet, I preferred to do it all on one day so that I didn’t feel overwhelmed with another day to do every day.

How can I train my kids to do their laundry by themselves?

This can happen slowly over time where you train them to first put dirty clothes in the hamper, then teach them to take the hamper to the laundry room, then how to sort/load/switch the laundry, then to fold and sort. This is a gradual process that you can build upon as your child masters each step.

How can I make the laundry process faster?

For items that are not super dirty, like kids pajamas that have been worn a couple of times, you can wash them on the “quick wash” setting to save time. Otherwise, start early and have alarms so you know when it’s time to switch the laundry to keep it moving quickly.

How To Find A Mother’s Helper That You Can Trust

It may take a bit of time, but you can find a mother’s helper that you can trust and works well for your whole family. You’ll never regret it!

When I first realized I needed help… I had no idea where to start!

So, I literally started praying that God would put someone in my path we could trust.

My nature is to distrust others with my children, therefore I am slightly paranoid about my kids’ safety around others. I knew I needed help, but I wasn’t sure how to find a mother’s helper I could trust.

Without a doubt, there are many ways to go about finding a mother’s helper. I hope this post will help you figure out which works best for your family so you are one step closer to help!

And a relationship with your family that will last for years.

Read These While You’re At It

mothers helper smiling with kids, interview questions

10+ Interview Questions To Ask Your Potential Mother’s Helper

An In-Depth Mother’s Helper Job Description You Can Use

How Much Do You Pay A Mother’s Helper?

The Best Times for a Mother’s Helper to Come – And Why

The Ultimate Guide To Having A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love

How To Find A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love And Trust

Let’s take you from having NO mother’s helper to having a mother’s helper you love and trust with your children.

You can find one, let me help.

Find Friends Who Have a Mother’s Helper

The first thing I did when I wanted to move forward finding a mother’s helper, was to text a friend or two who had one.

If you don’t have a friend with one, then consider me your friend :).

I asked a few questions:

Where did you find your helper?
How much do you pay your helper?
What do they do for you? (here’s an in depth job description)
Would you mind asking your helper if they know of someone else who would be interested?

In some cases, you may even find someone who has friends that are interested in doing the same thing. You might have a pool of candidates straight off who you can interview.

Read: Must Ask Interview Questions For Your Mother’s Helper

This is actually how I found my mother’s helper.

There was a group of young ladies in the church who were friendly and so I asked around. One wasn’t able, but she suggested another and…

Voila.

She is the most lovely and wonderful mother’s helper We all adore her!

Let’s get into how to do this.

Announce to your Sunday school group, mom’s group, friends group, etc. that you are looking to find a mother’s helper.
Post on a message board (literally or virtually) asking for leads.
Ask other people in your social circles that you trust if they happen to know of anyone.

On the same note, finding someone who is a mutual friend or acquaintance might give you peace of mind as you begin the whole process of finding a helper.

questions to ask in an interview with a mothers helper

Now, If you are a private person or don’t use much social media, this might not work for you.

However, if you’re game, try putting the word out on your social media that you are looking for someone to become your mother’s helper.

Tips on how to do this

First, you can reach out to your friends by posting on your personal page.

Secondly, you can join and post in a mother’s group in your area. These can be found through a simple search.

Either way, list a few things from this job description to give people an idea of what you’ll need.

As an example, you might say something like…

I need some help (literally). I’m looking to hire a mother’s helper and need someone who can come about [insert number] hours a week who can watch the kids, help me around the house, and sort of be a right hand woman.

If you know of someone, can you send me a private message so I can reach out? Thanks!

Care.com And Other Sites

If you aren’t familiar with your area or don’t have a close social group, care.com might be a great alternative.

Also, Here is a list of babysitting apps you may find helpful.

Remember, a mother’s helper is generally someone who is with you at least part-time if not full-time.

Here are the benefits of using third-party sites:

References are available
You can post your own job description and needs and those who are interested will contact you, so no “hunting.”
Mothers can see the experience of potential applicants and can narrow it down that way.

Reaching out in this way may be a great option if you’ve come up blank in your own local searching.

Grab A Free Printable!

Read all the posts in my Mother’s Helper Series

How do you know if you can trust someone as your mother’s helper?

Part of this is instinct, and part of it is vetting them beforehand. Make sure you know the person’s parents (if it’s a teenager) or that you interview them well. Ask the right questions.

Then don’t extend trust until they’ve earned it. Stay around while the helper watches your kids for a while. Be in another room and let the helper learn the ropes with your kids. Then, if you trust her, you can go a bit further afield, etc.

How do you gradually release responsibility to your mother’s helper?

We don’t extend trust to someone who hasn’t earned it. Instead, we allow them to prove trustworthy and then we extend trust. Same with a mother’s helper since this baby sitter or nanny is watching our most beloved people.

First, set clear expectations and guidelines. No scrolling while watching, etc. Make sure and name what times they’re able to have screens for the kids, or not. Make your daily routine clear for your helper (I have tons of posts on this in the menu item routine).

Then, don’t go to far for too long while your helper watches the kids. After a while you’ll know if you trust them or not.

Husband Won’t Help With Baby? How To Get Help Without Fighting

If your husband won’t help with baby or the other kids, there are some things you can do to encourage his input. It’s not hopeless, mama.

We’ve all seen the memes and statuses of what life looks like when Dad is on Kid Duty.

Funny outfits, funny hair, junk food, and a messy house.

Truthfully, some moms would be over the moon with that.

father reading books with his kids on the floor in the family home

Some mothers find themselves married to men who won’t help take care of the baby, the older kids, or the house.

They feel alone and desperate.

I’ve heard from many many women over the years whose husbands are unwilling, seemingly unable, or un-enthusiastic about being on Dad Duty.

Read: Your husband isn’t doing you a favor watching the kids

What you can do if your husband won’t help with baby (or your other kids!)

These tips won’t help get an completely uninterested husband to help. They may, however, help you get a reluctant husband to help you more effectively.

This isn’t marriage advice, now. If you’re a Type A woman married to a Type B man you’ll likely resonate with a lot in this post.

dad holding baby and rocking him to sleep

Read: How to get a breastfed baby to take a bottle

Write out some lists and notes

The goal is that the children’s needs are taken care of and everyone is okay when we mamas get back, right?

In that case, as long as the basic routine is known then we’re all good. Your husband may keep baby up a bit longer or skip a nap here or there, but having a general guideline available gives confidence.

Especially if your husband rarely watches the baby and needs a bit of help.

Does he have to follow it? Of course not! Does he want to follow it? For the most part, yes.

Even my husband, a more go with the flow type, finds that the day just floats around if there is no plan.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Parenting on the Same Page

You and your co-parent (spouse, ex, step, etc.) won’t always see eye to eye—but that doesn’t mean parenting has to feel like a constant battle. This workshop will help you communicate clearly, find common ground, and handle disagreements without drama, so you can focus on raising great kids instead of fighting over the details. Because parenting differences are normal, but constant conflict doesn’t have to be.

Start Now

Keep your expectations reasonable

If your husband isn’t normally enthusiastic about watching the kids, but will do it, don’t be overly critical or nag.

Even if you know that your husband isn’t doing you a favor, and you feel like you should be able to say your piece – you should! – do what you must to get help.

Develop appropriate expectations – even if you are disappointed about the realistic expectations you can have- because then you are more able to enjoy your time away. And not start a fight when you come back.

Here are some expectations to think about when your husband un-enthusiastically watches baby:

The state of the house | If it’s a big ask already to have your husband be on child duty, don’t also expect a clean and spotless house. Some husbands are just naturals and get things done, but if you know yours isn’t, don’t expect him to.
Food served | When I go out of town for a few days, the kids’ diet is not as healthy. My husband chooses easy to prepare meals that are generally lower on veggies than mine are – and that’s how it goes. You can let this go if you want a little help.

Read: Newborn Mamas, Drop These Expectations For More Peace

baby in a shopping cart being watched by daddy

Don’t expect your husband to parent just like you do

This is hard for us mothers.

Many of us consider watching the children our “job.” Knowing that, we pretty much think we have monopoly on best practices. However, if we want our spouse to take on a more active role in the childcare, we may need to let him parent in his own way.

As long as harm isn’t coming to the kids.

Prepare beforehand, and control what YOU can control

If your husband won’t help you take care of the baby or older kids then you will have to control what you can control.

On the odd occasion he’ll watch the baby, you can prepare ahead of time. Put out bottles, pacifiers, swaddles, or whatever else needs getting ready. Make it easy enough then let that be it.

The truth is, if you have kids and your partner doesn’t like to help out, it’s time for you to make life as easy on yourself as possible.

You CAN find ways to meet your boundaries even if your husband won’t help

Do you have some long list of qualities a good wife and mom need to have? You probably do. It’s probably really long and even though you don’t have help around the house, you still feel guilty taking care of yourself.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

Start Now

tired stressed mother watching baby all by herself

Here are some ways to lighten your load since you’re the only one carrying it.

Meals | If you’re the only one taking care of the kids and the only one cooking, make it easy. One pan or pot meals. Buttered pasta. Cheese on crackers. Whatever you need to do to make meal times less stressful. If your husband complains, hand him the cookbook.
Toys and clean up | Does the house always seem messy with toys and kid explosion and no one cleans but you? Get the kids on a chore routine and, if that doesn’t work, remove a lot of the toys. Less toys = less mess, guaranteed.
Sleep | If you are going crazy with night wakings, don’t delay sleep training. If you’re the only one on night shift it’s time to take charge. You can have fewer night feeds (or none, depending on baby’s age). You can teach your toddler to stay in their bed. Honestly, getting more sleep will help your daytime moods as well.

Too long, need summary?

Some spouses simply are not helpful with the kids.

Unfortunately, this makes life hard on mom.

Help your spouse learn the routine so he feels empowered, make realistic expectations for yourself, and lighten your own load.

Even though we can’t control others, that’s a good start.

How can I show my appreciation for my husband’s efforts when he does help with the kids, to encourage him to continue doing so?

Give love according to his love language, or how he receives love. Does your husband love words of affirmation? Write him a note or tell him how much you appreciate him and complement him on a job well done. Showing appreciation for your husband’s efforts in helping with the kids is a wonderful way to encourage his continued involvement.

How do I strike a balance between allowing my husband to find his own parenting style while ensuring our children’s needs are met?

Communicate with him and make the basic needs of your kids clear without nagging or being overbearing. Let go of your expectations and give him some space to figure things out for himself, while respecting the differences that you have in parenting.

How can I encourage my husband to take a more active role in parenting our children?

Remember to control what you can control. You can share your feelings and desires in a positive conversation by highlighting his strengths, expressing confidence in his ability, and starting small with manageable tasks or activities that he can ease into.

The Pros & Cons of Baby Monitors – Do I Need One?

If you’re preparing for a new baby and trying to gather all your necessities, you may be asking, “Do I need a baby monitor?” There are pros and cons to a baby monitor. Here’s how to make that decision…

When I was pregnant with my first child we were clueless as to what was needed.

We knew we needed diapers, a crib, and a car seat.

That was about it. I’d read books about nursing, setting up good sleep habits, and the basic logistics, but wasn’t sure which gadgets or gear to buy.

I read that in a house where bedrooms very close together, a baby monitor was not necessary. On the flip side, I also read that they can help give you sanity.

Read: Minimalist moms must haves for mothers of babies

Let’s dive in… do you actually need a baby monitor?

The following questions will help you decide whether or not to purchase an expensive baby monitor. Ask yourself these four questions before making you decision:

1. Where will the baby sleep from day one?

If your baby sleeps in the same room as you for a few months, you probably don’t need a monitor for a while, if ever. If their crib is beside you then you can be assured you’ll hear their every move and whimper.

However, If you have a two story home and plan on allowing the baby napping upstairs… it will come in handy.

We didn’t use a monitor with any of my babies until they were older and sleeping in their own rooms at night.

Read: The importance of white noise to help baby sleep

2. How do I sleep?

I once heard it said that after you have kids you’ll forever sleep with one ear open.

Ain’t that the truth!

Now, if you are a deep sleeper, a monitor will likely be just what you need. It will ensure you hear all your baby’s noises and to give you reassurance.

If you are a light sleeper and the baby is very near you, it may not seem necessary.

I am a lighter sleeper and even without a monitor, but with the baby in the same room, I wake up for every little gurgle.

If your husband takes turns getting up with the baby and he’s a deep sleeper, a monitor might be just the ticket. Just put it on his side of the bed.

After all, he’s not doing you any favors by taking care of the kids.

3. What else will you use the baby monitor for?

If you think you can live without a baby monitor (which you most definitely can) but wonder if it would have other uses later, then you are right.

Alternative uses for baby monitor:

When the kids are older, a baby monitor is useful for independent playtime
For toddlers, it’s useful to see how long it takes them to actually fall asleep.
If you plan on doing yard work, monitors are perfect use during nap times.
It helps you get things done during those brief free periods without worry you’ll miss your baby’s cry.

Read: 8 useful ways to use the pack and play

4. So if I want one… should I get a basic monitor or a smart one?

With so many choices, it can be overwhelming! See the list below for some help!

Over the years, I’ve used the cheapest, a medium quality, and a fairly expensive version. They each have benefits and downsides… let’s talk about which one may work for you!

It all depends on your home & how you’ll use it…

In a smaller house where the bedrooms are closest together, the basic bottom of the line monitor will do the trick. Don’t worry about getting too fancy, the “peace of mind” comes from hearing your little one.
If you live in a larger or two story house, you may want to get a better quality monitor for connection purposes. This is just simply because of the distance involved. The same is true if you plan on working outside during nap-time.
Maybe you love the idea of being able to see and speak to your baby? If being “techy” is a benefit to you, there are some really great high quality monitors available. I can’t believe the quality and range of some!

Get the right baby monitor right here!

Look no further, I have compiled the top 5 baby monitors in each of the different qualities. Here are some that are basic, and some have all the bells and whistles!

VTech Audio Baby Monitor– Here is a bottom of the line, but just as useful baby monitor. It still has a talk back feature and reaches up to 100 feet. I actually used this one with my first baby, and it worked great!
Baby Monitor with Zoom Camera and LCD Screen- This middle of the line baby monitor is still full of useful technology. You can speak to your baby through this system and even adjust the camera digitally. Get it Here.
Anmeate Baby Monitor with Digital Camera- Here is a basic mid line and excellent quality monitor. It has a 960 ft range, 2 way talk, and night vision.
Motorola Video Baby Monitor- With this monitor you get two cameras for peace of mind if baby turns over with his/her back to the camera. It was infrared night vision and a room temperature feature. Get it Here.
Nanit Plus Smart Baby Monitor- Here is a top of the line and highly rated baby monitor with a wall mount included. Some of it’s features include HD camera and video, temperate & humid sensors and sleep tracking.

What options are available for parents who need to monitor multiple children in different rooms?

For parents who need to monitor multiple children in different rooms, there are several options available to help you keep an eye on all your children simultaneously: split-screen video monitors, multi-camera systems, and expandable baby monitors with the option to add additional cameras.

Are there potential privacy risks associated with using baby monitors, particularly smart monitors?

Yes, there are potential privacy risks associated with using baby monitors, especially smart monitors that are connected to the internet. While these monitors offer convenience and remote monitoring capabilities, they can also pose privacy challenges like unauthorized access, data breeches, remote access, and insecure networks. Be sure to thoroughly research the baby monitor you choose before purchasing if you decide to use a smart monitor.

Are there safety guidelines to follow when using baby monitors, such as proper placement and avoiding cords near the crib?

Absolutely, there are important safety guidelines to follow when using baby monitors to ensure the well-being of your child. Always ensure proper placement by positioning the baby monitor’s camera or sensor unit at a safe distance from the crib to avoid any physical contact with the baby. Make sure the camera is securely mounted or placed on a stable surface to prevent it from falling into the crib and out of your child’s reach. Keep all cords, wires, and cables associated with the baby monitor out of your child’s reach to prevent choking hazards or entanglement. Read the safety instructions for the monitor you choose to follow the manufacturer’s guidelines.

Home Hacks

What’s an “evening sweep?”

1. Do it before you sit down

2. Do it quickly with purpose

Tidy Routines CHECKLIST

3. Have the kids help before bed

4. Use a timer if need be

Tidy Routines CHECKLIST

5. You’ll thank yourself tomorrow

Daily Mom Routines Checklist

Meal plan for the week & order groceries.

Look at the week’s schedule.

Daily Mom Routines Checklist

Plans for the wardrobe.

Brain dump onto your master to-do list.

Discuss with your spouse upcoming events.

Daily Mom Routines Checklist

Do a room-to-room sweep.

Set some personal goals.

Make it electronic free.

Declutter surfaces.

Here’s a tip:

Daily Mom Routines Checklist

Examine the entrances to your home.

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Pick a Method that Works for You

1 Day a Week

This has its positives and negatives:

1-2 Loads a Day

Tips for this laundry routine:

Folding together

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Each Child Puts Away Their Own Clothes

Each Kid Has an Assigned Day for Laundry

Simplify & Save

Train Early

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Re-Wear Clothes

Limit Outfit Changes

My friend does this…

How To Find A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love And Trust

Find Friends Who Have a Mother’s Helper

I asked a few questions:

Mom Problem Solving Worksheet

Ask In Your Church (Or Social Group)

Let’s get into how to do this.

Ask On Social Media

Tips on how to do this

Care.com And Other Sites

Here are the benefits of using third-party sites:

Grab A Free Printable!

Sample Mother’s Helper Job Description

What you can do if your husband won’t help with baby (or your other kids!)

Write out some lists and notes

Keep your expectations reasonable

Here are some expectations to think about when your husband un-enthusiastically watches baby:

101+ 15 Minute Projects

Don’t expect your husband to parent just like you do

Prepare beforehand, and control what YOU can control

You CAN find ways to meet your boundaries even if your husband won’t help

101+ 15 Minute Projects

Too long, need summary?

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Let’s dive in… do you actually need a baby monitor?

1. Where will the baby sleep from day one?

2. How do I sleep?

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

3. What else will you use the baby monitor for?

Alternative uses for baby monitor:

4. So if I want one… should I get a basic monitor or a smart one?

It all depends on your home & how you’ll use it…

Get the right baby monitor right here!

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST