Sleep Basics

Sleep Arrangements For Siblings When You Don’t Want Them To Share

If you’ve got a few little ones in your home and each person doesn’t have a room, you may have found yourself getting creative with sleeping arrangements. I know we do!

Y’all know I talk a lot about sleeping.

Sleeping in, sleeping longer, sleeping better, and sleeping more.

All in all, I’m a control freak about kids’ sleep.

I don’t apologize for it and, when all my kids happen to be lacking in sleep, everyone else suddenly agrees with me!

➡️ Kids who aren’t well rested are more disobedient, fussy, unhappy, and even enjoy play less since they are unable to focus.

That said, it’s not always just “put the kids in the bed and everyone sleeps 12 hours” type of nonsense when you have little ones.

Different children need different things to transition into sleep time and, obviously, kids have different sleep needs.

Related Reads:

baby sleeping on bed with blue blanket and a teddy bear. good article on baby sleep.

I’ve yet to permanently have my kids share rooms, and I doubt I ever will.

As an only child (birth order matters, people!) I loved having my own room, and I want that for my kids.

We are doing some renovations in rooms right now and we’ve had to get creative with sleeping arrangements. Also, the baby still sleeps in our room for another month or so since he doesn’t have a designated nursery and is sleeping well through the night.

However, soon we’re going to move the baby out, but not to share… so I’m brainstorming creative ideas!

Here are reasons you’ll need to get creative with sleep:

small spaces
temporary relocation
renovations
deciding which siblings should share based on personality

How to arrange where little ones sleep if you live in close quarters

If you are trying to figure all this I recommend using our daily logs to keep you on track. It’ll help get everything out of your head and onto paper.

where to put children down to sleep if you don't want them to share a room

1. Think Outside of the Bedroom.

I’ve said it a few times before, but your baby doesn’t have to spend the night in a bedroom!

Particularly not while they are very young and sharing is difficult.

My son spent 8 months napping and sleeping in the downstairs laundry room in Australia! It was climate controlled, able to be easily darkened, and away from the hustle and bustle of his older brother and sister.

If you can fit a crib or pack and play in the room, it’ll work.

Places you can safely put a baby to sleep if you don’t want baby to share with older siblings:

Guest rooms
The office
Laundry room
Guest bathroom (this has built in white noise if you have an exhaust fan!)
Walk-in closet
Living room

Your baby doesn’t have to share a room with your toddler or older child if it’s going to prevent good sleep or cause everyone to wake up at 5:30 am instead of 7:00 am.

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Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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2. Use a pack and play.

If you’re worried about using another area to sleep because you don’t want a permanent crib, I’m with you. We are currently switching my daughter and son between rooms, and renovating one room so my 23 month old is displaced.

He is also the child that does the worst room sharing.

When sharing he wakes at night, talks for hours, and wakes early in the morning to party. So I’m using the pack and play right now for my son to sleep in during the day in his brother’s room. In fact, all my babies have spent the first few months of their lives in pack and plays.

It works!

You can put a pack and play in any corner of the home for naps. Or if you have one child who no longer naps, the younger ones can take a nap in their room while they have rest time on the couch.

Read: 8 Useful Ways To Use A Pack And Play

3. Assess personality.

It may not be the two oldest siblings who share well.

Or two of the same gender.

It may, in fact, be the oldest and the youngest and different genders to boot. When choosing who shares, the best thing to consider is personality and sleep habits.

One who consistently wakes early may not need to share with one who sleeps late. Unless you don’t mind everyone waking early, that is.

You can always test it out. Move one child in a play yard and test it out for a few nights. Of course the first night will be way too fun (for them) to get a clear idea. After a few nights you’ll see how it might go.

If one child talks or plays and keeps the other up at night, you may want to re-think arrangements.

Read: The Thing You Must Do If Your Littles Share A Room

Boundaries & Behavior

0-5, 6-12

Goodnight Bedtime Battles

This workshop will give you a simple, sanity-saving bedtime system that actually works—one that helps your kids wind down, fall asleep without endless stalling, and stay asleep (so you can finally get some rest).

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4. Nap in a different place than night sleep.

Unless they’re used to it from birth and both are tired and well-rested, your kids may find it difficult to nap when sharing a room.

Mine sure do!

They don’t have to nap where they sleep at night, however, so think outside the box. A child can nap in your room, but sleep in a shared room. They can nap at separate times (although I love having all my kids go down for naps at the same time) even, if it’ll help them nap longer.

Related Reads:

Sources:

Is It “Selfish” To Do Sleep Training?

If you are a tired mom and still up doing night feedings and craving some sleep, maybe you are asking yourself if baby sleep training is right for you. Here are some thoughts that will hopefully help.

The term “sleep training” is fairly controversial these days, so let me start by saying I’m not writing this to rock boats, get comments, or ruffle feathers.

I’m writing because – dadgummit – moms are exhausted. Babies are cute bundles of joy that require a lot of work, attention, time, and sacrifice.

They are worth it, but they are a lot of work.

Many moms sleep train from Day One. It’s a priority in their home, and they set out to establish good sleeping patterns from the get go. They are happy with their choice, confident in their steps, and don’t second guess themselves.

Mom is considering sleep training because she has to hold baby while she sleeps.

Other moms consciously do not sleep train their babies, but choose to take a more laid back and responsive approach to their baby’s needs and cues. They are happy with their choice, confident in their steps, and don’t second guess themselves.

And then there are the other moms.

The moms who aren’t quite sure where they stand. They don’t really know if sleep training is right for them and, in fact, they aren’t sure what sleep training really means.

Maybe they just hear people being for or against “crying it out.” Their babies are exhausted. They are exhausted. And they need some hope!

Read: Get A Tired Baby To Sleep — In 4 Simple Steps

What sleep training is:

For those moms who aren’t quite sure what baby sleep training is, I’d like to share a few key points.

There are a million ways to skin a cat it’s no different with establishing healthy sleep patterns, but there are a few key elements to keep in mind that most sleep training strategies agree upon.

Establishing good daytime habits that contribute to nighttime sleep
Keeping a steady routine (which is different for everyone) that signals “time to sleep”
Creating feeding and eating habits that allow for extended sleep
Helping your baby learn to sleep, and get back to sleep, on their own

What sleep training isn’t:

Now let’s talk about what it isn’t. Sleep training can get a bad rap because the term has a negative connotation. I’d like to debunk some of that for a bit.

Forcing your baby to sleep when they don’t need it
Regularly letting them scream themselves to sleep as a strategy
Depriving your baby of nourishment

So… is it selfish?

Well, maybe. Or maybe not. Establishing healthy sleep patterns for babies (and every other member of the family) is beneficial for the individual and the family. So maybe it’s selfish to want your baby to sleep well. But sometimes selfishness is necessary for our own survival.

The more children you have the more you realize you can’t always put everyone else’s habits above your own needs.

So, if you are doing something against the best interest of your baby for your own pleasure, that’s selfish. If your baby is too young to truly sleep through the night or has medical issues that prevent it from establishing healthy patterns and you force the issue, that is selfish.

If you know your baby is capable of sleeping through the night but you just need some pointers and good habits, that’s not selfish.

How’s it any different?

It’s the middle of the night and the parents are asleep as well as the other kids in the home. The baby awakes for yet another feed.

The mom is pretty convinced the baby doesn’t still need to be feeding every 2 hours throughout the night at 8 months, but isn’t quite sure how else to keep the baby from waking everyone else in the house. So she feeds the baby back to sleep and climbs back in bed knackered and frustrated.

That is – if you’ll accept it – actually a form of sleep training.

The mom is training the baby to go back to sleep through the night only with a feed. Now, does this mean the mom needs to let the baby scream all night? Of course not! But can other habits and practices be put into effect that can stop this from becoming a nightly ritual? Absolutely!

And really, sleep training won’t last more than a few days (two weeks tops even if you’re a gentle mama) if your baby is ready.

Habits like the above can last for years…

1. Get started on the right path

It’s never too late to start figuring out how to get your little one to sleep better. No matter what type of habits are happening now, you can begin to make some positive changes that will benefit everyone.

First steps include pinpointing exactly why your baby is waking up during the night, and trying to minimize that.

So, for example, if you feel they are genuinely hungry, the goal is to feed them enough throughout the day that they are not genuinely hungry at night.

So if they need (completely untrue but easy for illustration) 10 cups of milk a day, don’t give them 5 during the day and 5 at night. Start increasing the amount they drink and eat during the day so they are not starving at night.

Read: 11 quick and easy tips to help your newborn sleep better

2. Focus on the daytime

Surprisingly, much sleep training actually happens during the daytime. For babies there are opportunities during the day (before naps, for example) to prepare them to sleep well at night. Giving them good opportunities to exercise, but not be overstimulated.

Not allowing them to get overtired is a huge factor in sleep training.

By ensuring they have a good nap they will be better set up for sleeping through the night. For naps, putting them in their cribs awake and drowsy helps them learn to fall asleep on their own without intervention.

All of this will contribute to them being able to slightly rouse at night, then roll over and go back to sleep on their own.

Read: How to encourage sleeping in and longer naps

3. Understand the importance of timing

A huge – HUGE – part of getting your baby to sleep well throughout the day and night is timing. It means hitting the “window.” It means not letting them get too overtired or overstimulated until it’s basically impossible for them to sleep well.

You know you feel when you are exhausted beyond exhaustion? It’s even more difficult to go to sleep and when you do, you toss and turn.

It’s a misconception that keeping babies up longer to “wear them out” will result in better sleeping. Preschoolers? Yes, probably. Babies and early toddlers? No. When the babies starts rubbing their eyes, acting fussy, or has been up a set amount of hours, they are tired. If you move past the window, they’ll get a second wind.

Read: Gentle Sleep Training 101 for Older Babies

4. Determine your stance on “crying it out”

I’ll not get into this issue here because each family may have different views and opinions on the matter. Either way, you can flat sure sleep train without crying it out if you want to.

So, if you aren’t comfortable with a lot of crying from your baby that does NOT mean your baby will never sleep well.

Here are some very popular books that will cover the gamut from crying it out to no crying at all.

Babywise

Baby Whisperer

Happiest Baby on the Block

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

5. Be consistent

First and foremost (even though I’ve put it last) you must be consistent. Babies will follow your cues – even if you think you’re following their cues – and will begin to entrench themselves in the habits you set. So, consistent night feedings long past when it’s necessary will become habit.

And it will require consistency and steadiness to create new habits.

When you determine your first steps and the new habits you want to create, stick with them. It may take a bit before you see changes, but the changes will come. Your baby wants to get more consistent and healthy sleep! So do you!

7 Reasons Your Baby Still Wakes Up At Night – And What To Do

If you’re wondering why your baby still wakes up at night, there are the 7 biggest reasons and what you can do to help baby sleep through.

If you’re waking up multiple times per night, you know the feeling. That panicky, shocked, wired, fight or flight feeling that comes with being woken up to your baby crying in the night.

It’s enough to make even the most calm nurturing mama anxious. You rally in the morning when you get up… but it rears its ugly head again the next night.

still waking at night sitting up in crib

One of the biggest questions of your baby’s first year will likely be, “When will he start sleeping through the night?”

This question might not have meant much to you before you experienced the insane sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn.

But by the time your infant is a few months old, you’re likely to start wondering about, if not obsessing over, this very question.

Read: Separation Anxiety At Bedtime – Calm Solutions For Peaceful Sleep

There are all sorts of different opinions about what age a baby is physically capable of sleeping through the night. There are even a myriad of definitions of what “sleeping through the night” even means.

For this post, sleeping through the night means baby is getting a 7+ hour stretch at night. Preferably from the 10 to 11pm onward stretch.

I want to focus this time on answering the question that countless parents have lost sleep over, or have wondered about in the wee hours of the night while their baby was losing their sleep for them.

While there are countless potential reasons why your baby is waking up (maybe you live right by a fire station – true story for a colleague’s sleep client) my list will cover the most likely culprits.

Read: Is Sleep Training a Baby Bad or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

Key reasons your baby or toddler still wakes up at night

1. Your baby is overtired

You can’t take two steps into the world of sleep training without tripping over the term “overtired”. It gets thrown around so much, it’s almost like a catch-all phrase for any sleep disturbance.

From short naps, to crying at bedtime, to early morning wake-ups, etc.

The truth is, there’s a good reason for this. Over-tiredness can cause or contribute to an almost limitless amount of sleep disturbances in babies and young children. Miss their nap window or overshoot their wake-time by 15 minutes, and any mom of a sensitive baby will tell you.

Read: The Nap Trap – How To Deal With It & Not Resist It

There will be lots of tears.

Some of the most common times for these wake-ups are 40 minutes after falling asleep for a nap, 1-2 hours after bedtime, and between 4-5 am.

Read: 12 Medical Reasons Why Your Baby’s Not Sleeping (With Symptoms of Each)

The fix: Getting on the right schedule is of utmost importance for fixing this dreaded problem. And often, an early bedtime can go a long way.

See my sample routines below

Read These While You’re At It

A Newborn Routine That Works Every Time

Here is a 5 month schedule and 5 month routine for your baby.

A 5 Month Old Schedule (With Feeding & Sleeping Times!)

A 7 Month Old Feeding Schedule That Works Like A Charm

A 9 to 12 Month Routine Guaranteed to Make Happy Babies

Easy Sample Routine for Babies 3 to 6 Months (That You’ll Love!)

2. Your baby is under-tired

On the flip side of overtiredness, under-tiredness, can be as much of a problem as over-tiredness. It can also be a little bit harder to spot mostly because we are always assuming the child needs more sleep.

The symptoms of under-tiredness can look similar to over-tiredness. It might be a case where a toddler is napping too long during the day which is causing delayed sleep onset at bedtime.

Or maybe the baby is taking a slightly too long cat nap in the evening. Which causes them to pop awake just an hour after falling asleep at bedtime.

Balancing sleep pressure can be tricky. We want baby just tired enough, but not too tired.

Read: The Top 10 Indicators It’s Time to Sleep Train

The fix: Make sure your baby’s naps are age-appropriate. If they are sleeping a lot during the day, but night sleep is disturbed, you may need to cap some naps or get them up earlier in the morning.

3. Your baby is eating too much overnight

This is a problem I most often see in very young babies, but it can happen throughout the first year, as well. New moms are told to feed their babies on demand.

Which is fine, except when it turns into an all-night open bar for a baby who loves to suck. Who will never turn down milk.

What ends up happening is a cycle. Digestion never gets a break, their metabolism never slows down, and anything from excess gas, bloating, and full diapers continue to wake them up throughout the night.

Parents then mistakenly assume they are still hungry if they wake up crying. Then, of course, they feed them back to sleep again, perpetuating the problem.

The fix: Encourage full feeds on a more set routine, and reduce night feeds to an age-appropriate number.

4. Your baby is hungry

Of course, the most common assumption parents make about nighttime wake-ups is that their baby is hungry, and that’s totally possible.

If your baby is under 1 year old (older in some cases where nutrition is an issue), they still may be genuinely hungry at night. Yet, just because your baby is waking out of true hunger during the night doesn’t mean that she actually needs to be taking in all of those calories during the night.

It’s fairly common for 5 month olds to 7 month olds who are ready for ample solids to start waking up a lot at night due to hunger.

The fix: There are gentle and effective ways to get those calories shifted to the daytime, depending on her age/weight, so that you can all get more shut eye.

Not sure how to drop/shift night feeds? Take my free email series below.

5. Your baby is cold

Once my son was waking up a few times a night and I got curious. It wasn’t for the pacifier, no teething, and no ear aches.

I tried another layer of clothing and – voila – no more wakings.

This one isn’t as common. That said, when I see a persistent 3am wake-up that doesn’t have another obvious reason, I ask about temperature. Even if your kid was hot and sweaty at bedtime, our body temperature, because of hormones and our biological rhythms, naturally drops to its lowest point between 3-4am.

Room temp between 66-68 degrees is ideal for sleep. If it drops further overnight, your baby might simply be cold.

The fix: Make sure there is an extra layer of warmth, like a sleep sack or thicker pjs. If you’re concerned this could be an issue. And/or, turn up the thermostat just a tad when you go to bed.

6. Your baby doesn’t know how to connect sleep cycles

This is usually the culprit when I work with parents who describe their baby as “the worst sleeper ever”. This baby not only takes hours to rock or nurse to sleep, but then wakes up every 45 minutes, or every 1-2 hours, throughout the rest of the night.

These poor parents are either in tears by the end of the day, or practically catatonic after many months of living off 40-minute chunks of sleep.

Their baby is completely dependent on them to connect all of their sleep cycles. And since a baby’s naturally sleep cycles change every 2-4 hours, throw in some over-tiredness, and you have a babe that’s up 8-10 times per night!

The fix: Work yourself out of a job- teach the child to connect their own sleep cycles.

Sleep Little Lamb will help you do just that.

7. Your baby has an unhelpful habit

When you’ve covered all your other bases (your baby has the sleep skills, is on the right schedule, is appropriately fed and napped throughout the day), but is still waking up at ungodly hours of the night or early morning, it is likely a habit that just needs to be changed.

Some habits are nursing, even when they aren’t hungry and only feed for a minute or two. Other habits are waking up to find the pacifier that fell out of their mouth.

Or looking for their mother. Or trying to recreate the same circumstances that existed right before they went to sleep in the first place.

The fix: Figure out what is reinforcing the habit, then stop doing it.

What to do next?

If you’ve identified some problems and are ready to get to work on those solutions, take my free series below.

Common Habits That Help and Hurt Baby’s Sleep

Got a baby with trouble sleeping? Here are some common habits that help and hurt baby sleep including sleep props and sleep associations.

Baby sleep issues can be the bane of any mother’s existence.

If you are tired, nothing else seems to matter. You become nearly obsessed with sleep since you aren’t getting any. You start clock counting at night and start feeling like your life lives and dies by how tired you are.

The need for sleep is real…

I had a friend who used to crawl under her actual work desk to get some sleep in. She’d literally crawl under her desk.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, mama.

Some moms seem to thrive regardless of their sleep levels while others simply must find solutions for their little ones’ resistance to sleeping.

Before you get too carried away in just “solving” you baby’s lack of sleep…let’s talk about some things that may cause problems in the future!

Read: Mom Habits That Are Barriers To Peaceful Baby Sleep

Sleep associations vs. sleep props

First of all, let’s talk about the difference between a sleep association and a sleep prop.

Understanding the difference may save you some headache in the future! Believe me, starting good sleep habits early is good for everyone.

Read: How to Stop Contact Naps (Peacefully)- and What to Do Instead

Sleep association– something a child associates with sleep.

This may include, but isn’t limited to:

elements of nap or bedtime routine
white noise
swaddles (Click here for best swaddles & sleep sacks)
pacifiers they can re-insert or that stay put
lovies
crib/bed
lights out

Read: 12 Medical Reasons Why Your Baby’s Not Sleeping (With Symptoms of Each)

Sleep prop– something a child needs for sleep that requires you and your presence.

Most of the time, this is something that a child can’t control on their own.

Sleep props can become quite addictive (particularly during witching hours) and we’ll talk about why later.

Sleep props can include, but aren’t limited to:

nursing to sleep
rocking to sleep
pacifiers if they can’t re-insert them- so I recommend these pacifiers which prevent issues
car rides to settle
swings or vibrating chairs (if they won’t sleep there every time)

Read: Is Sleep Training a Baby Bad or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

Family Practices & Contribution

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Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

Baby is laying in bed using mom's hand as a sleep prop.

Both sleep associations and sleep props can become addictive…

Why?

Because even babies love routine! Now some mothers loves the rocking and nursing to sleep, and it isn’t a problem unless it’s a problem for you.

But if you want your baby to learn to sleep well, and go back to sleep well, on their own then you’ll likely need to change some habits.

You’ll need to get rid of some sleep props and add some positive sleep associations.

1. How to diagnose a sleep prop

If your children are unable to sleep on their own because they need something from you, they’ve got a sleep prop.

Now… all kids need things from their mamas, but I think you get what I mean. It could be you lying with them to fall asleep. This is not bad in itself.

But if they want you to return hourly throughout the night or if you are ready for them to fall asleep alone, it’s a prop.

If you have to go to the crib throughout to put the pacifier back in because they won’t sleep without, that’s a sleep prop.

Now, I do use pacifiers, but don’t let them be a prop.

2. Why sleep props hinder good rest

It’s probably apparent to you why sleep props prevent good rest if you’re still reading by now. +Basically… the reason sleep props are a problem come into play during sleep cycle changes.

As the baby goes from active to passive and back again they go through periods where they’re partially awake. If they have something they’re dependent on to get back to sleep, they’ll wake up fully and demand their prop.

If they are not addicted to sleep props, they’ll transition through the partial awake phrase into deep sleep again on their own.

Another issue with sleep props…

Additionally, sleep props can actually hinder the child’s willingness to sleep. They won’t want to stop nursing or go to sleep because they don’t want you to leave.

This doesn’t mean you stay so they don’t feel sad or anxious, it means you make changes in a way that they willingly sleep. It’ll take some doing, but it’s possible.

Keep reading to find out how to overcome this!

3. The biggest key to overcoming a sleep prop

The one thing you need to make sure of when you begin any form of sleep tweaking is that consistency is a must.

Use consistency along with a timely delivery of change to success in sleep behavior changes.

In other words… don’t excessively drag it out.

I read somewhere and completely agree, that we often do things we think are gentle or gradual and actually end up causing more distress to the baby.

If things are drawn out it can actually be more traumatic for a baby or toddler who is used to a certain thing. If you need to keep a log to be able to nail down what’s going on, use our daily baby logs.

Sometimes cold turkey is best and it needs to be consistent or it will just be chaos for everyone.

Read: Simple Baby Advice That Stands the Test of Time

Boundaries & Behavior

0-5, 6-12

Goodnight Bedtime Battles

Start Now

Baby boys is sleeping soundly with no sleep props.

4. Will it resolve itself?

In a word.

No.

If nursing is a sleep prop that’ll change when you wean them. But… that doesn’t mean they’ll begin sleeping well.

The truth is, if they haven’t learned how to sleep on their own that sleep prop will likely morph into another prop. Without some training, you’re looking at a future of night waking then perhaps getting out of their bed and coming to yours, etc.

Old habits are hard to break! If you want them to begin creating positive sleep associations that don’t disrupt their sleep then don’t wait for it to resolve itself.

Or you may end up with a 5 year old who still doesn’t sleep well and who probably won’t thank you for it.

5. Positive sleep associations

Here are some positive sleep associations that can gradually replace sleep props.

Bedtime routine | Have a bedtime routine that is fairly set, something like “bath, books, bed.” Don’t deviate from it too often, and you’ll find your baby or toddler winds down naturally.
Baby massage
Singing | My 2 year old won’t go to sleep until I sing a specific song to him at night. He loves it! It’s our special ritual and he will almost always calm right down after it’s finished.
Reading books

More positive sleep associations…

Specific Night-Time Routines- Find things that I can positively associate with bedtime and used them. Here are some examples: brushing teeth, applying bedtime lotion, dimming the lights, and stacking books where they belong.

Praying- If your child is anxious to go to sleep because of fear of darkness or nightmares, praying is a great idea and source of strength for kids. When my oldest was having a period of nightmares I taught her to pray if she felt afraid. “Pray, then call for mommy if you are still scared!” I told her and it was a good way to calm down.
Pacifier- Pacifiers can be a sleep prop if you have to regularly go in throughout the night and put it back in. Here’s how we do it: I give the pacifier (these are great for newborns because they prop up on their own) to signal “calm down time for sleep” and then I never go back in to reinsert it. It takes a bit of adjustment for them, but that’s it. They learn quickly to keep it in their mouths – plus the stuffed animal paci makes that so very possible – and they don’t wake up for it throughout the night.
Bottle- Giving a baby a bottle (even a breastfed baby) can be a nice way to indicate bedtime. Here’s how to get a breastfed baby to take a bottle.

How to phase out sleep props

So… if your baby or toddler has sleep props you have to phase them out.

Or… stop them cold turkey.

I’m more of a cold turkey girl but I’ve taken both approaches depending on the child.

Identify the exact prop. There may be many, but pick one at a time.
Add in some new and positive sleep associations that can replace sleep props.
Determine how you’re going to stop or wean from that prop. If you want to night wean, start offering more milk and solids throughout the day. Then… when night wakings occur, comfort in another way. Hug, pat, kiss, give a pacifier, etc. but no breastmilk.
Give lots of hugs and cuddles throughout the day so everyone knows you’ll make it through!

Sources:

How Diaper Issues Can Effect Baby Sleep – And What To Do

Diaper leaking affects baby’s sleep. Whether the diaper is too tight, too small, or baby is sensitive to being wet, this all affects sleep.

My firstborn was a girl and that all went really smoothly. No leaking diapers, no interrupted sleep, all pretty seamless.

Like the rest of the women in my family, she was efficient.

I have since then had 4 boys and they were a tad trickier. Each time I forgot one of the golden rules of putting diapers on a boy, and with each one they’ve experienced interrupted sleep due to diaper issues.

Luckily the fixes are easy, but I’m sure you can agree that being awoken in the night from a fussy baby or toddler who isn’t even hungry – but just has a leaky diaper – is the height of frustration. Both for them and for you.

Here’s hoping this helps you in surviving the newborn postpartum period and beyond.

1. Quality when it counts.

All diapers were not created equal. Not even close. Now, not everyone can afford to – or chooses to – buy the highest quality diapers all the time, and that’s fine.

Why? Because you’re talking about hours and hours of protection that diaper needs to give without leaking.

While lower quality diapers might do the trick during the day when you can change frequently, you don’t need bodily fluids of any type leaking out the legs at night.

It will wake your child up, make them feel very cold, and even possibly give them a cold if they sleep in wet pajamas for hours.

This is especially important if your baby or toddler doesn’t need to wake in the night to feed, therefore you don’t really want them to wake at all.

Read: Sleep Tips To Help Baby Sleep Well For The Long Term

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

toddler playing on bed in leaking diaper

2. Anatomical positioning.

Perhaps this was obvious to everyone but me, but I simply could not figure out with my firstborn son why his diaper kept leaking. 45 minutes of great sleep then BAM, diaper leak, awake baby.

Some kind soul who felt sorry for me asked if I was sure to position his anatomy downward in the diaper so that when he urinated it was actually absorbed and the light bulb went off.

If you put on the diaper and push his parts upwards, then when he pees during the night the urine will go upwards and thus leak.

Position the little man’s little man down then put on the diaper and problem solved!

3. Double up or size up.

If you cloth diaper then consider adding extra inserts at night to prevent leaking. If you wear disposable diapers, use a high quality diaper at night and consider going up a size.

Since the goal is for them to sleep as long as they can at night and not wake up just for a diaper change, giving a larger diaper at night will help stop this.

Now don’t go up so large it can’t fit snugly around the leg, but usually one size up will still fit well enough not to leak if it’s a good diaper i in the first place.

Related Reads:

4. Change at dream feed.

Currently my 2.5 month old is able to go the majority of the night without a diaper change.

If the diaper isn’t dirty I don’t change at every single night feed because changing (especially during the winter) is a great way to fully wake them up which is not the goal here.

I am sure to change the diaper at the 10:30 or 11:00 pm feed and it’ll usually last until he wakes up for the morning at 7:30 am or 8:00.

Now, this is because he doesn’t feed often between those two times, but still. What you want to avoid is a 5:30 am baby or toddler with a leaking diaper who then refuses to go back to sleep.

Related Reads:

Boundaries & Behavior

0-5, 6-12

Goodnight Bedtime Battles

Start Now

5. Less liquids before bed.

In the same way you’d not want to give too much liquid to a child you are training to go without a diaper at night, for toddlers it’s a good idea to cut back on liquids after dinner.

If you put your toddler to bed with a bottle or sippy cup (which there is nothing wrong with, of course) it will likely result in them waking up with a leaky diaper unless you’ve gone up one size in a good quality diaper.

Read: Baby Or Toddler Fighting Diaper Changes? Stop The Madness With These Tips!

Read: The Top 10 Indicators It’s Time to Sleep Train

FAQs about Diapers

What do you do when baby’s diaper leaks at night?

You can buy bigger diapers, change before baby’s bed, change before your bed, use booster pads, or (if baby’s old enough) eliminate nighttime feedings for less wetness.

Should I use a lining inside the diaper?

Great idea! Diaper booster pads will help absorb some of the initial wetness and then let the diaper grab the rest. This should prevent leaking if there’s a lot of pee going on.

What are the best overnight diapers for toddlers?

You’ll want to buy the highest quality of diaper you can for your budget. You can use the less expensive diapers during the day, but save the good ones for night.

Are you supposed to change a baby’s diaper every time they pee?

If baby is up and walking around with a wet diaper, sure, change it! If baby is asleep and diaper is not leaking, leave it until the next wake up.

Should I change a poopy diaper if baby is sleeping?

If baby is sleeping peacefully and not in discomfort, do not wake to change diaper. Wait until baby has woken up and then change. If baby has a diaper rash, you may want to gently change the diaper when you notice it’s dirty. Alternatively, you can change baby’s diaper before you go to sleep.

Advice for New Parents (How to Rest, Relax, and Enjoy)

Here is some down to earth and easy advice for new parents that’ll help you breathe easy, rest, and start enjoying your journey as parents.

When I became pregnant with my first child… I was so so scared.

In addition, we had other plans for the next few years and this seemed to derail them. But not only that… I had no idea how to take care of a baby. I had not been the babysitter type.

Generallly, I was not the teenage girl whom all the neighborhood kids adored. In fact, I was barely ever around kids. I felt it was a recipe for disaster.

So, I did what I always do when I’m completely freaked out.

I read and read and read until I feel a bit more confident.

After all those books and 5 babies of my own, I want to boil down into a few practical points what really makes the biggest difference with little ones.

Read: Advice For New Moms Your Doctor Won’t Tell You

witching hours baby solutions, advice for new parents

How to ease your tension a new parent

As part of my advice for new parents, I want to give you some peace of mind here. There are only a very few things you need to focus on in those early months that make for smooth sailing for the months after that.

Get these few things down and you are Good-To-Go.

1. Create An Easy Newborn Routine

One of the biggest mistake first time parents make is to wait and try to decipher baby’s cues.

Of course you’ll want to use your instincts & respond to your baby’s cries.

But do not assume you’ll understand what baby wants when baby cries.

This is why one of my best pieces of advice for new parents is that a good newborn routine is key. It takes the guesswork out of daily life with a baby.

You’ll learn to…

Feed baby before baby is staving
Put baby down to speed be fore baby is too exhausted to fall asleep
Stop worrying about when and how to get baby down
Focus on simply feeding, changing, and resting
Relax with a little happy camper

This will also help minimize witching hours.

Read: A Newborn Routine That Works Every Time

2. Work On Baby Sleep (Without The Tears)

It’s a lot harder to teach baby to sleep on their own when they have developed sleep props.

When baby is addicted to rocking, nursing to sleep, riding in the stroller, or whatever else… it ain’t easy to break that habit.

It’s much easier to teach a tiny little thing to get to sleep on their own. You don’t want to end up with a super tired baby if you don’t have to!

Proven tips to help sleepy baby:

Put baby to sleep at the first sign of sleep cues, or within an hour or so of starting to feed.
Swaddle baby (I prefer these swaddles) because it helps them transition through sleep cycles. (Psst.. here are some super interesting swaddling tips for baby at night)
Put positive sleep associations in your baby bedtime routine.

Read: The Ultimate Newborn Sleep Schedule: Week By Week

3. Reset Household Expectations

An important piece of advice for you new parents… your home will no longer look like it did pre-kids.

It’s impossible.

Even if you hid the crib and swing and infant seat… you’d still end up with more mess than before because now you’re distracted and focused on a baby instead of the speck of dust on the kitchen floor.

Read: Cocooning a Newborn & 7 Reasons Why it Can Be Good For The Family

Remember this: life is like a video not a photo.

Take a nap when your baby naps. It’ll be the best thing for your hormones, mental health, and mood.
Honestly, the house will be dirty and you’ll be spat on. Look up, do some tidy routines, and take a bath.

Read: The Non Obvious Reason Your Home Feels Chaotic

4. Meet Baby’s Needs In A Timely Manner

If you are working on a routine, this will happen naturally. A good piece of advice for a new parent? Don’t wait for baby to cry to meet their needs.

One of the most encouraging things a new mom can do for herself is to make sure that her baby’s needs are met.

This results in a calm, content, happy baby (barring medical issues you couldn’t have predicted nor prevent) and mom who can relax a little.

Remember…

Feed at regular intervals (cluster feeding in the early evening) so baby doesn’t get starving or have blood sugar drops.
Put baby down for a nap after every feed. Watch sleep cues so you’ll know what baby’s perfect sleep window is.
Avoid over stimulation and over tiredness, both of which make it difficult for baby to calm down and drift off to sleep.
Give baby full feeds and avoid snacking.

baby advice that every mother needs to know

5. Don’t Take Shortcuts With Feeding and Sleeping

It is much easier to teach a positive habit today than to continue a negative one and then have to correct it later.

In short, with things like feeding and sleeping… you want to put the hard work in early.

Without a doubt, If you wait to start good habits until baby is 6 months or later then there are many more factors involved that make it harder.

Start out like you can hold out. – my grandmother

Research shows that if you…

Feed well, don’t let baby snack all day because then baby won’t get the rich hind milk, they’ll never be “full” and will become fussier and fussier as time goes on. Babies who are not full don’t transition well through sleep cycles which causes short naps and multiple night wakings.
Add in a dreamfeed so you’ll be able to go to bed immediately after and get more sleep.
Find baby’s tired cues so you can put him down and let him learn to sleep on his own. This is very easy with tiny ones, much harder as they get older.
Give yourself the grace and compassion you’d give your best friend during this time.

You can do this, mama.

As a mother who had 5 kids in 5 years… you’ll get through it.

Need sample routines for babies 6 weeks and older?

By now, you know how to handle the newborn days, but what after? The good news is this: you’ve set your baby up for a foundation of success.

Now all you need to do is continue to find routines that work for you and your baby as they grow up and begin getting bigger and bigger. Sob. After having had 5 babies with 5 different personalities, I know a thing or two about finding a good schedule.

This is why I’ve created a book of sample routines and schedules for babies ages 6 weeks up to 5 years. The book includes information on how long to let baby stay awake, how much play time is good for each age, what to do with baby when baby is awake but not quite mobile, and even how to manage toddler and baby joint routines.

Chapters covered in Rhythms, Routines & Schedules include:

Section One: Sample Schedules

6 Weeks to 3 Months Old
3-6 Months Old
7-9 Months Old
9-12 Months Old
12-18 Months Old
2-3 Years Old
4-5 Years Old

Section Two: Tips and Tricks

Tips for Managing the Day With Multiple Children
Daily Rhythms for an Only Child Ages 1-4 Years Old
Daily Rhythms for Multiple Small Children Ages 0-5
Sample Bedtime, Mealtime, and Playtime Routines
Tips for Keeping Kids Busy Throughout the Day

For more sample routines, mom tested and approved schedules for babies ages 6 weeks and up, check out Rhythms, Routines & Schedules right now.

Sleep Basics

Here are reasons you’ll need to get creative with sleep:

How to arrange where little ones sleep if you live in close quarters

1. Think Outside of the Bedroom.

2. Use a pack and play.

3. Assess personality.

4. Nap in a different place than night sleep.

What sleep training is:

What sleep training isn’t:

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

So… is it selfish?

How’s it any different?

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

1. Get started on the right path

2. Focus on the daytime

3. Understand the importance of timing

Tired Mom CHECKLIST

4. Determine your stance on “crying it out”

5. Be consistent

Key reasons your baby or toddler still wakes up at night

1. Your baby is overtired

See my sample routines below

2. Your baby is under-tired

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

3. Your baby is eating too much overnight

4. Your baby is hungry

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

5. Your baby is cold

6. Your baby doesn’t know how to connect sleep cycles

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

7. Your baby has an unhelpful habit

What to do next?

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

The need for sleep is real…

Sleep associations vs. sleep props

Sleep association– something a child associates with sleep.

Sleep prop– something a child needs for sleep that requires you and your presence.

Sleep props can include, but aren’t limited to:

Both sleep associations and sleep props can become addictive…

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

1. How to diagnose a sleep prop

Now, I do use pacifiers, but don’t let them be a prop.

2. Why sleep props hinder good rest

Another issue with sleep props…

3. The biggest key to overcoming a sleep prop

4. Will it resolve itself?

5. Positive sleep associations

More positive sleep associations…

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

How to phase out sleep props

1. Quality when it counts.

2. Anatomical positioning.

3. Double up or size up.

4. Change at dream feed.

5. Less liquids before bed.

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

FAQs about Diapers

How to ease your tension a new parent

1. Create An Easy Newborn Routine

You’ll learn to…

2. Work On Baby Sleep (Without The Tears)

Proven tips to help sleepy baby:

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

3. Reset Household Expectations

4. Meet Baby’s Needs In A Timely Manner

Remember…

5. Don’t Take Shortcuts With Feeding and Sleeping

Research shows that if you…

Need sample routines for babies 6 weeks and older?

Chapters covered in Rhythms, Routines & Schedules include:

Bedtime Brain Release Sheet