Toddler

Sticky Routines System

Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

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mom trying to keep her three kids in one spot

CON: Everyone tells you to your face that you are crazy

Really they want to say you are stupid, but they do have some filter. At least in person.

This may be because they had particularly difficult babies. This may be because they don’t yet have any children and can’t even fathom your decision-making process.

2-3 years between babies is a culturally common spacing, and if you announce you are pregnant it seems less shocking since your youngest isn’t a baby anymore. Even if you don’t let the comments faze you – because you know your family’s business is your own – it is disconcerting.

You may have quiet and reserved friends and family… but many of us do not!

PRO: You can go back to work sooner, if that’s your plan

If you desire to stay home with your children until they enter Kindergarten, and have multiple children spaced far apart you may be out of the workforce for 10-15 years.

If you love staying home with your kids, but love working too, you may find having babies closer together will mean you get the best of both worlds.

You get the once in a lifetime chance to stay home with your children, but return to work while you are still somewhat in the loop, not decades behind in technology and certification.

CON: For a long while, the kids are no help

A family in our church has 5 children. The ages are something like 10, 8, 6, 1, and newborn. When her 1-year-old was born she said it was a whole new ballgame. There were older capable children to help do things around the house and with the baby.

If you have babies close together some years will go by when you are doing everything for every single person. I’d say right now that my children are only truly helpful with tidying up. In the evenings I will point to specific areas and my two oldest truly are able to put things back where they go (because I have good storage systems).

However, I still must stand and delegate. They can bring me things I need and mind instructions, but they are in no way self-sufficient.

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PRO: Kids are able to play well together developmentally

I’ve noticed that my daughter and son are able to play well together because they are on each other’s level. One year apart is significant in development, but in play it still works out well.

With large age gaps, the children might get along well, but don’t actually play together. This can also be con at times as well. The children are natural playmates and gravitate towards one another so when emotions are high, conflict can occur.

But all in all, I class it a pro.

Read: Siblings Fighting? 5 Strategies To Handle The Squabbles

CON: You must be on top of discipline at all times

While having obedient children is a pro, getting them to the obedient stage takes nonstop focus. When you have multiple very young children, it is non-negotiable they learn to listen to your instructions.

You only have two arms, and if you have more children than arms (and even if you don’t) you need your children to respond to your voice. If I get lax on discipline for even a few days we see it in their behavior.

To have even a semi-ordered home with small children it’s absolutely vital they mind your instructions. And they only do what you say if you mean business all the time. Basically, all the time.

Related Reads:

Discipline with Dignity

Discipline shouldn’t feel like a battle or a shot in the dark. This workshop gives you a clear, balanced plan for setting boundaries that build respect and responsibility—without yelling, harsh punishments, or constant power struggles.

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PRO: Everyone feels sorry for you and offers their help

The same thought that makes people say “have you lost your mind” while you’re pregnant leads them to say “Is there anything I can do to help?” postpartum.

I get offers for babysitting, cleaning, and cooking with regularity. I have trouble accepting help consistently, but am regularly encouraged by the support. You can maintain an appearance of having it all together, but people who know you don’t have their head in the clouds.

They know good and well you can use the help and they are willing to do it. I think this makes up for the fact they called you insane months prior.

Read: The Ultimate Guide To Having A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love

CON: There are fewer chances to get away

I’ve been either pregnant or breastfeeding for the past few years. It’s one thing to take a weekend away, but a weekend away is not quite a weekend away if you have to bring a 3-month-old.

I’m used to measuring the amount of time alone I can have by the time between a baby’s feedings. Sure I can skip one or two, but if I want to maintain my milk supply I can’t take days away from the baby frequently.

I’ve always looked forward (in a bittersweet way) to the time when all babies were weaned.

Read: Why And How To Take A Mom Vacation — On Any Budget

PRO: You are fully in the Childlike Zone

We are in baby and toddler zone over here full force. Tonight we were doing an exercise video in the living room when I began to do a plank-stretch-like-maneuver.

Immediately I hear “It’s a tunnel!!!” and everyone is crawling under me laughing and yelling. It was so much fun. Things are just so much fun with little people. They say funny things, they laugh so completely and have the brightest sparkle in their eye.

Of course, this is the case no matter how close together in age your children are, but there is something magical about having all your babies be… well… still babies.

Nobody is too cool for school.

Nobody is calling anybody silly or lame.

Everyone is fully in it.

Read: 35 Simple Ways To Love Your Child In Everyday Life

CON: Back to back pregnancies wear you out

No matter how fit you are, having pregnancies close together is a strain to the body. I’ve found it isn’t the physical side effects that are worse with each pregnancy, it’s the mental ones.

For me, with each pregnancy comes increased hormonal interruption and disturbance and extreme debilitating fatigue. Biologically speaking, our bodies are made to incubate babies.

We are also made to run, but training can result in injury. A friend with four children, 6 years and under said her core is in such a state her doctor recommended regularly seeing a chiropractor.

Worth it? Yes. Easy? No.

Read: Why You Shouldn’t Weigh Yourself During Pregnancy

PRO: You don’t need to buy much

We’ve used the same cribs, stroller, infant seats, pack and play, car seats, and high chair with each child. They are still in good condition and within safety guidelines.

Aside from a few gender specific items, we haven’t needed to make major purchases with any baby other than our first. Our things weren’t in the garage long enough to get dusty, let alone replaced.

Read:

Must Have Products For Newborns
8 Useful Ways To Use A Pack And Play
B est double strollers for Irish twins (or kids close in age)

So basically…

That’s my take on the pros and cons of having babies close together.

Some days I thank Jesus we are all alive to go to bed. Some days run perfectly. Both are real life. Both are worth cherishing.

I found a little toy car in my drink today and laughed.

That won’t happen in 5 years.

I don’t take it for granted.

How can I foster positive sibling relationships?

Model healthy communication, cooperation, and respect in your own interactions with your children and others. Siblings learn from observing their parents’ behavior. Encourage teamwork so that your kids see their siblings as an asset and not as competition. While no siblings are perfect, creating shared experiences can help siblings bond in the early years that can continue as they grow.

How can I support my own well-being while caring for multiple young children?

Ask for help and delegate as much as you can. Realize in this season, some things will not be a priority and let those things go by setting realistic expectations for how cooking, cleaning, extra activities, etc. will go. Prioritize self care by being proactive in taking time for yourself and doing things that fill you up.

How do I manage the demands of multiple young children?

The best that you can. Routines have been huge for us so that I know that everyone’s eating, sleeping, playing, and emotional needs are being met. Find a good routine that works well for your family to minimize the chaos and stick to it!

[amffh-sampleroutines]

Curious Behaviors That Come With Toddler Teething

Inside you’ll find some odd toddler teething behaviors and how you can bring comfort and make it through with minimal fuss. Post contains affiliate links.

Two weeks ago my 2 year old was abducted by an alien.

His normal happy bubbly self was replaced with an angry, whiny, aggressive counterpart with the same ears.

It was all very baffling.

We watched his behavior erode throughout the week. Everyone in the family noticed it. I went through my normal mental checklist…

Am I being too lenient with him?
Am I being too strict?
Does he have an ear ache?
Is it because of the rain and he’s displaying cabin fever?

Well, after a long hard week on Friday evening I was done and we loaded all the kids up and took him to the semi local Minute Clinic.

The nurse practitioner took one look in his mouth and said, very nonchalantly…

“It’s his 2 year molars… look how swollen his gums are!”

I am such an amateur.

Oh it was a bad week with this one. This afternoon I finally decided to go to the doctor and pray he was sick and that this wasn’t just his new personality. Turns out it’s his 2 year molars… I AM SUCH AN AMATEUR. ???

A post shared by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Oct 6, 2017 at 8:39pm PDT

Toddler Getting Their 2 Year Molars?

This image will give you an idea of when to expect your little one to get teeth.

Behaviors That Accompany Toddler Teething

Here are some baffling behaviors that seem to accompany toddler teething. 2 year molars (second year molars) can be moving around under the gums for quite a while before any teeth break through.

These behaviors may be an indicator the time is drawing nigh.

toddler grabbing at the camera and smiling

1. Anger Due To Teething Pain

Does your child suddenly seem to be more angry than normal?

Something small, like a perfectly normal Winnie the Pooh plate, can become an object of scorn since it is not a simple blue plate to a toddler teething.

Often my toddlers started to exhibit a lot of anger that didn’t seem reasonable or characteristic of their Temperament.

Teething is painful for little ones and pain steals a child’s ability to focus well or withstand otherwise normal frustrations.

Read: 5 Parenting Skills That Help Raise Stable, Well-Adjusted Kids

Parenting in Hard Times

Parenting through a crisis feels heavy—but you don’t have to do it alone. This workshop gives you a clear plan to bring stability, emotional safety, and strength to your family when life gets shaky. Because in hard times, your kids need a steady, loving guide.

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a big sister holding her little sibiling

2. Whinging And Whining Happen When Teeth Are Trying To Break Through

Or, as we say in the good ole US of A, whining. In retrospect, one thing all my kids have done when getting their 2 year old molars is to fall down on the floor while wailing and flailing.

I wish I was joking.

When little ones are in pain their tempers are short and they are *this close* to losing emotional composure at the drop of a hat.

This is why helping alleviate their pain, helping distract them, and extending a little grace go a long way.

Read: A Simple Step That’ll Unlock Your Child’s Heart

3. Sleep Interruptions Happen When Molars Come In

A dear friend wrote the other day saying her 2 year old had stopped napping. He was clearly exhausted and not actually ready to drop naps and yet, he had trouble falling asleep.

He’d wake in the evening tired as well she couldn’t figure out why. So she took him to the doc and – lo and behold – 2 year old molars.

Word to the wise mama: do not drop naps at 2 years of age if you can at all help it.

Toddlers will try to convince you (and themselves) they don’t need naps around this time, but if you stay consistent and help alleviate their pain so they can sleep they’ll push through and continue napping for another year or more.

Watch my video on the biggest thing to remember in the throes of the 2 year sleep regression.

[mv_video doNotAutoplayNorOptimizePlacement=”true” doNotOptimizePlacement=”false” jsonLd=”true” key=”msalrxjq8kypedtvqsqb” sticky=”false” thumbnail=”https://mediavine-res.cloudinary.com/video/upload/msalrxjq8kypedtvqsqb.jpg” title=”2 Year Old Sleep Regression Tips” volume=”60″]

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4. “Bad Behavior” Starts Coming Out With Teething

I put that in brackets, but one thing I’ve noticed when my toddlers are teething is an uptick in boundary crossing.

They stop following rules they used to keep and seem to defy my word more.

They’re not as happy or cooperative and you often begin to question whether you need to change disciplinary tactics.

If it’s teething, just help with the pain and ride it out. Kids who are in pain and uncomfortable simply aren’t at their best. When we are in pain, we aren’t either!

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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5. Teething Causes Personality Changes

This is usually a big signal for me that something physical is happening with my child. I don’t know how I missed it with my 2 year old a few weeks ago, but hindsight is 20/20.

His personality changed.

His usually happy bubbly self became sullen and angry. He stopped playing happily with the others and became very quick to hit, bite, or scream. Instead of going to sleep happily he’d fight bedtime and wake up at night.

He refused meals he normally loved and just did not act like the same child.

Read: The Smart Bedtime Routine Your Toddler Won’t Fight

Teething Remedies

So now that we know how teething can cause a lot of pain for our little ones, here are some remedies that can help you manage their pain.

You can also freeze things like wash cloths or pacifiers if your child will put something super cold in their mouths.

Best of luck, mama!

Are getting 2-year-old molars more painful than other teeth?

2-year-old molars can sometimes be more painful for children to cut through compared to other teeth. This is because these molars are larger and wider than the earlier teeth that emerged, which can make the teething process more uncomfortable.

How long does the teething process for 2-year-old molars typically last?

Each child’s timeline for teething can be different but the teething process for 2-year-old molars typically lasts for a few months. Teething is a gradual process, and each tooth emerges at its own pace. Some children may experience teething discomfort for several weeks before the molars fully erupt and they may not all come in at the same time, leading to a staggered eruption process.

Are the 2-year-old molars the last phase of teething for my child?

Yes! After the 2-year-old molars have come in, children will have their full set of primary (baby) teeth.

Why Your Husband Isn’t Doing You A Favor By Watching The Kids

Inside: Does it drive you nuts when people say their husbands are “babysitting” the kids? Here’s why your husband is not doing you a favor by watching the kids.

Note: This post was originally published in 2014, but bears repeating.

This is how the conversation used to go at our house.

Me: I’m feeling the need for some alone time. Do you think it’s okay, if you are up to it, if I go out for an hour or two and have a break?

Husband: Sure, sounds good.

Me: Oh, thank you thank you thank you, I won’t tarry. Again, am so so thankful.

Husband: That’s fine, just let me know if I need to fix dinner or if you’ll be home in time.

{An hour or two elapses at my destination where I don’t fully relax because I feel low levels of guilt. I then begin to feel sorry for my husband because, boy, 5 kids 8 years old and under sure is a handful. I go on home and dive right back in not refreshed as I’d hoped.}

Me: Thanks sooooo much for watching the kids. I really appreciate it. I mean, honestly, it was so nice to get away.

Husband: Not a problem, any time.

Do you see what’s happening there? Do you see how I used to rob myself of enjoying time away? How, even when I was away from home, I was focused on what was happening at home?

Do you know why?

➡️ It’s because – in my mind – I acted as though my husband was doing me a favor by watching the kids. ⬅️

Before I asked him, while I was away, and immediately upon returning home I felt I was getting away with something. And that’s stupid. Why?

Because my husband is every bit as responsible for our children as I am.

He’s not doing me a favor by watching our kids, he’s simply fulfilling his role as a father.

1. He is half responsible for their existence

Unless I’m mistaken, you didn’t get pregnant on your own. Even if you’re the primary carer of your children because you stay home all day with them, that doesn’t mean he has no fatherly responsibilities.

Now, this post isn’t about our husbands so much as about our own thoughts regarding this area.

If you fall into the trap of thinking that you – only you – are responsible to take care of them 24/7/365 until they’re 18 then you are in for some hard years.

He is their father.
He helped bring them into being.
He can watch them without you feeling lax in your duties.

2. He isn’t hired help

When you hire a babysitter you likely leave a detailed list, carry out extensive preparation in case there’s any hiccup, check in frequently while away, and make sure to come home on time.

This is because having a babysitter or a nanny is more of a contractual obligation. A father, on the other hand, is a pivotal part of the family. He is a leader in the home, and as such, you should guard against seeing him as an occasional babysitter.

Why?

Because he’s just as important to the well-being and development of your children as you are.

The kids love him.

They want to be with him.

You don’t have to rush home after a hurried dinner as though he’s an 19-year-old college student with a mid-term coming up.

Allow him to love and serve your family by spending time with your children.

Parenting on the Same Page

You and your co-parent (spouse, ex, step, etc.) won’t always see eye to eye—but that doesn’t mean parenting has to feel like a constant battle. This workshop will help you communicate clearly, find common ground, and handle disagreements without drama, so you can focus on raising great kids instead of fighting over the details. Because parenting differences are normal, but constant conflict doesn’t have to be.

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3. Be grateful, don’t grovel

Just because I think a husband and father has a responsibility to take care of his children does NOT mean I’m saying take it for granted. By all means be appreciative and express your thanks.

Take advantage of the time and respect his willingness to watch them by actually enjoying yourself while you’re away.

If you have to grovel, beg, and thank him profusely for watching the kids for a few hours then there are other issues going on that need addressing.

Be kind, be nice, and show appreciation. But don’t act as though he’s doing you a favor by minding his own offspring.

4. Don’t feel guilty, enjoy yourself!

I struggled with this for a long time until I realized that my husband isn’t doing me a favor, he’s just fulfilling his role.

He never minded watching the kids, was always willing when he was able, and loves to be with them.

➡️ It wasn’t his behavior or mindset that was the problem, it was mine.

I couldn’t let go of the mental responsibility of taking care of the kids long enough to enjoy myself while away. I anticipated he’d resent me for asking. I rushed home to make sure things were fine. It robbed me of refreshing time away (something that I really believe in).

He and the kids were always fine when I was away. When I started seeing things differently, the only thing that changed was I actually enjoyed the gift of time my husband gave me when he watched our kids.

Self-Care That Sticks

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two kids hugging their dad outside at night by a fire

5. Prepare (or don’t) and then let it go

I used to think I needed to prepare every little thing before I left.

I didn’t.

You probably don’t either.

Your husband is a grown man and he can problem-solve on his own.

No wipes? Use a wet paper towel. Out of diapers? Improvise. If you are a natural prepper then do your best and let the chips fall where they may.

If you know your husband can handle it, just let him figure it out.

The kids may eat fast food, skip a bath or two, be put in clothes that don’t match, and have tangled hair… but you know what?

Who cares!

It’s your chance to take a deep breathe and not have to worry about it so, mama, don’t ruin it for yourself.

How do I let go of my expectations of how things should be done at home while I’m away?

No one likes to be micromanaged, including your husband. It’s important to recognize that different parents have different ways of doing things and that’s okay. One way is not better or worse, they are just different. As long as the most important things are taken care of (food, clothing, safety, etc.) don’t worry about the rest. Trust him and enjoy yourself.

Will my kids be okay without me?

Children are remarkably resilient and adaptable. They can handle short separations and changes in routine, especially when they feel safe and secure with the caregiver they are with. Spending time with other caregivers, such as their dad, allows children to develop strong bonds and relationships with them. This is essential for their emotional and social development.

Is it normal to miss my kids even if I need a break?

Yes, it’s completely normal to miss your kids even if you need a break. Parenthood is a complex and emotional journey, and having mixed feelings about taking time for yourself is a common experience. The strong emotional bond between parents and their children naturally leads to feelings of missing them when they’re not around. This attachment reflects the love and care you have for them.

The Scientific Reason Moms Are Super Tired You’ve Never Heard

Inside you’ll find the real reason you’re a tired mom. Hint… it won’t always be this way.

Mothers of young children – particularly stay-at-home moms – tend to get a bad rap.

Why doesn’t she do her hair more often?

She seems to only wear “athleisure.”

Even though she’s at home, the house still isn’t clean.

She doesn’t even have to go to work… why’s she so stressed?

Sure, mothers may sleep a little less and be busy at home during this season with small children.

We can be so tired even when it seems (to the outside world) like we never do much of anything since we’re home all day.

Why are moms so tired?

I have a theory on that.

It is this.

➡️ Hyper-vigilance

Hyper-vigilance is defined as an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats.

Hyper-vigilance denotes a constant scanning of the environment for threats, exhaustion, and abnormally increased awareness (source).

mom daughter in the park oversharing kids private lives what not to

That’s why you’re a tired mom…

Normally, the term “hyper vigilance” is used in clinical settings.

In this post. I’m using the term to draw a parallel to parenting.

So, for parents, hyper-vigilance is basically being in a heightened state of awareness, fight-or-flight and protection mode on behalf of our children who are too young to do it for themselves properly, if at all.

Read: The Real Reason Moms Never Have Enough Time (Hint: It’s Not Because They Waste It)

Self-Care That Sticks

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You are in a lot of “Fight-or-flight”

Fight-or-flight occurs when someone perceives a threat of danger and experiences physiological symptoms that will help them to fight or flee. Anxiety and worry are basically heightened states of awareness. If you are anxious, then it’s almost as if your body is in a low-level state of fight-or-flight.

So, how does this concern us? Well, by the time our children are mobile they begin to explore their environments. Things that were seemingly safe, like a chair, suddenly become an opportunity for big falls.

Functional things like toilet cleaners or food processors become objects of potential disaster.

Even after a house is “child-proofed” there will still be many times when your young ones will attempt something (even if they only attempt it once) that is dangerous to them.

Since they can’t register this danger, we do.

Therefore, even when we are sleeping we are aware.

One child is out of sight and quiet.

Oh. No.

Jimbo is halfway up the bookshelf and attempting a Batman-about-to-fly pose. Daisy Mae is trying to lock her 1-year-old brother in the dark pantry.

When we are in charge of little ones we are constantly in high awareness. Physiologically, this is exhausting.

Read: 15 ways to occupy your kids if you need to get things done

Less time to yourself

Spending all day focusing on other people is just very tiring.

It is a privilege to be a mother and a joy to sacrifice, but the effects do accumulate. From sun up to sundown you are directly focused on others. Up until motherhood you’ve likely had much of the day to yourself.

Even in 9 to 5 jobs, while working, you can go to the bathroom alone. Get a coffee or diet coke when you so desire. Phone calls can be made without worrying that a sudden screech or disconnection will occur.

Commutes to and from work offer time to process, read a book or relax.

Read: The Ultimate Guide To Having A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love

The commute from your bed to the kitchen table is slightly too short to be of good use.

Even with well-behaved children (never mind the strong willed ones!) and a good routine you are still focused on the kids.

That is your job.

It is good and right, but dadgummit, it is exhausting.

This is why we must process, recharge, and get refreshed.

Read: How To Live Within Your Limits & Hold Your Boundaries

Multi-tasking takes its toll

I am a multi-tasker to the extreme.

Why do one thing if I can do 6 and plan another in my head at the same time?

When I walk from one room to the other I put away 3 things in the process. I will make a phone call, change a diaper and hold a baby at the same time. This is helpful in that it allows us to accomplish many things at once.

➡️ It is unhelpful when it means we are so busy that we do not relax and rest.

If you are like me (and I really hope for your sake that you aren’t) then you find it hard to slow down, smell the coffee or roses, and not worry about the state of the house, the children’s faces, or the laundry room.

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

It seems to sprite girls in their early 20’s (and men of all ages) that women who are at home all day should not be tired and have no excuse for a dirty house.

Or to not have a perfectly coiffed hairdo.

Oh, and nails to match each day’s outfit.

The simple fact is that the pressures of home are many and they are heavy.

Read: 5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Moms Need To Hear

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

Start Now

And so…

We encourage routines , independent play for your children, and a good sleeping system for everyone involved. Don’t forget to incorporate a good Quiet Time schedule.

Still, with all these things in place, a busy life and never-ending piles of laundry, stacks of dishes, and food to cook can wear us out.

The next time someone looks at you with that “why do you seem so out of it when you are home all day?” look… just smile to yourself and know.

You are tired because none of your children drank bleach on your watch today.
You are weary because everyday last week you made sure your little ones had food in their bellies, even if it wasn’t mostly organic and preservative free.
And, of course, you could use a nap because the house has not burned down and the walls are still upright, though perhaps with crayons, markers or fingernail polish you forgot to lock up.

No matter how organized, efficient and structured you are as a mother and no matter how obedient and well-behaved your children, being a mother to young ones requires focus, concentration and a heightened sense of awareness.

It makes us tired.

But, when I’m 95 on my deathbed sleeping half the day away and bored, I think I’ll look back on these trying days with a smile.

Because that’s what mothers do.

We just get on with what needs to be done.

Read: Hard Truth: Tired Moms Make For Fussier Kids (So Rest!)

Is decision fatigue part related to motherhood exhaustion?

It could absolutely be a factor. Moms make lots of little (and not so little!) decisions everyday, which are often interrupted by the constant demand of taking care of children. This is probably why many moms are “decisioned out” by the end of the day.

Is there a way to get more rest as a mom?

Maybe not more rest but self-care is so important for moms to continue in doing the work of motherhood. Find things that fill you up and make time for them so that you are being proactive in taking care of yourself instead of reactive.

Will I always be in the state of hypervigilance as a mom?

While we will always be concerned with our children’s wellbeing, this level of vigilance might not always remain at the same intensity as your child grows and becomes more independent. In the younger years, we are consumed with meeting their immediate needs and maintaining our kids’ safety because they cannot do so themselves. So, this hypervigilance evolves and changes over the years.

Sources:

An 18 Month Routine for Energetic Toddlers

Do you have an energetic and super cute 18 (ish) month old? Here’s an awesome sample 18 month schedule or routine for toddlers.

My newborn and 4 children under 4 schedules were a huge hit (and you may want to read my summer schedule for kids) so here’s an 18 month old sample schedule.

I have a dear friend who is far more laid back than myself, and she told me even she likes to look at schedules though she doesn’t really keep one!

Ha.

Love the honesty and self-awareness!

Read: Is Your 1-Year-Old Wearing You Out? Try These Simple Activities

eighteen month old girl smiling at camera and reaching

But honestly, I see the appeal. It’s good to know how others fill their day and what their kids get up to.

When you’re home all day with kids it can feel isolating and you begin to wonder if you’re the only one who spends 20 minutes making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or picking up hundreds of elastic bands because your daughter tried to rainbow loom even though she (nor you) know how to do that.

Read: The Tried-And-True 1 Year Old Sleep Schedule

After you’ve read the post, watch this video on considerations for your 1 year old sleep schedule.

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Sample 18 month routine

So here’s the basic routine I’ve had all my kids on. As soon as they dropped their morning nap, around 18 months, they all followed a similar schedule to this until they were 2 years old and even higher.

Some babies drop naps a lot earlier than 18 months and some will continue to have two naps. In my experience, I think that 18-month-olds can generally go with one nap, but still need a bit more sleep than their older siblings.

Read: When Babies Go To One Nap (A Step By Step Guide)

Get your toddler to follow their own routine without nagging by using these printable routine cards.

7:30 – 7:45 am – wake up + breakfast
8:30 – 9:30 am – free play, outside time
9:30 – 10:30 am – structured play, activity, more purposeful time
10:30 – 11:15-11:30 am – independent play time with age appropriate toys (why it’s important kids play on their own)
11:30 am – 12:15 pm – outside time, free play
12:15 pm – lunch
1:00 pm – nap
3:30 – 4:00 pm – wake up from nap and have a snack
4:00 – 5:30 pm – free play, screen time (for older siblings), outside time
5:30 – 6:00 pm – dinner
6:00 – 6:45 pm – bath, get on pajamas, wind down
6:45 – 7:00 pm – read books, pray, sing
7:00 pm – bed

An important thing to point out here, before we go any further, is that appropriate times can account for a lot. They can account for over-tiredness and even bedtime battles.

Having an age appropriate routines makes all the difference.

Read: 5 Truths About Parenting Toddlers — That We Tend To Forget

Structured Time

I use this term loosely to mean that I engage with the kids on purpose. Sometimes we do any type of preschool curriculum and other times we color or play with play dough.

It could be as simple as lining up pillows and running across them or a specific craft. I don’t take on any pressure or guilt about this, but try to engage them in things at their level they find enjoyable.

Read: Why Kids Need Independent Play Times Daily

Things are definitely not always together.

Sticky Routines System

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Outside Time

We live on an acreage now so we decided to build a fairly large enclosed area where the kids could play without me worrying they were going to fall into the pond or pool or walk onto the road.

Often outside time consists of all the kids playing outdoors together while I am inside working or doing something else.

Read: The Crucial Elements of a Rock-Solid Toddler Schedule

Maybe we’ll play red rover, go water all the trees and plants in the garden, or feed the fish in the pond. I like for them to be outside as much as possible for as long as possible.

We have a lot of toys like this that can take a beating and, when used up, thrown away. See tips for toddlers outside.

Screen Time

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics… 18 months old don’t really need any screen time. With my oldest we never did, the younger kids in our family often filter in and out of the room while the TV is on so that’s what I’m going by.

In my 4 under 4 schedule you’ll note we used to watch TV first thing in the morning when I was in late pregnancy and when I had a newborn.

It wasn’t ideal, but it was what I needed to happen to cope and that’s fine. Now, with my youngest just turned 3 months, I’ve shifted TV time to after the nap.

This is screen time + learning.

Read: A Foolproof Sample Daily Schedule For Toddlers

18-month-olds are fun but they’re also a lot of work. Here is a recap:

Choose a routine that you can maintain every day. One that isn’t too strict nor too lose that the days feel chaotic.
Teach your child to follow their own routine. I do this by using printable routine cards as shown here.
Be consistent, but flexible. Things like sicknesses and appointments will happen so anticipate them.

Connection & Culture

13-18, 6-12

No-Drama Screen Wean

Cutting back on screens shouldn’t feel like a battle royale. This workshop gives you a simple, realistic plan to wean your kids off devices—without meltdowns, whining, or “I’m bored” on repeat. Because screen time limits should feel doable, not dreadful.

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The Key to a Good Routine

This may be so simple it goes without saying… but the key to a good routine is keeping the routine. It can be tricky to remember everything in order when you’re beginning, but once you get the hang of it, routine will be second nature.

It can seem very difficult to get started doing or keeping a routine when you do not have one at all. Here are some ways you can learn to keep your routine.

Hang the routine up!

If need visual help remembering the routine and want to teach your toddler to follow the routine at the same time (so you don’t have to nag) I recommend using our routine cards (seen below) or something similar you can whip up at home.

You hang them up in the appropriate room (bedroom for morning routine, bathroom for bath routine, kitchen fridge for mealtime routine, etc.) and then use them to help your child learn independence and self-regulation.

Set alarms or reminders on your phone

While you don’t need to live and die by the clock, setting your phone, watch, or a timer will help you keep aware of routine transitions.

We can often get so wrapped up in what we’re doing we forget and we’re an hour or two past nap time and now they’re having trouble going down.

I set alarms on my phone that show on my watch and this works for us.

Practice

As with anything, if you want something to work then work it. Keep pushing what you’ve decided to do. If it doesn’t work then change it up a bit and keep going. Move forward.

I assure you 100% that a routine will work if you keep at it.

Want Routine Printables to hang up?

We use these in our home and my Kindergartner even uses them to help herself get ready each morning. My son is looking forward to hanging his in his room as well.

These will help you point out what your child should do without always issuing commands and – you may be surprised – how much more cooperative your child becomes when they can see what’s next.

Get your own printable routine cards here!

printable routine cards for toddlers and preschoolers

Sources:

Can an 18-month-old recognize a routine?

Yes, by 18 months of age, many children are capable of recognizing and understanding routines to some extent. While they will not fully grasp the concept of time or the specifics of a schedule, they can begin to anticipate and respond to regular activities that occur in their daily lives. Routines provide a sense of stability, predictability, and comfort for young children.

What are the benefits of a daily routine for an 18-month-old?

A routine provides a sense of predictability and security for young children. Knowing what to expect throughout the day can help reduce anxiety and build a sense of comfort, as they become familiar with the sequence of events. Routines also break up the day (for everyone!) and help kids engage in a variety of activities to help in skill, language, and cognitive development.

Can an 18-month-old follow the same daily routine as their siblings?

While certain routines and activities can be synchronized, some accommodations may have to be made to ensure that the younger child’s specific needs are met. Some considerations include: nap and sleep schedules, meal/snack times, and age appropriate activities, etc .

Why Having Babies Close Together Is Not As Hard As You Think

Everyone always thinks I’m nuts when I tell them I have babies close together. I promise it’s not as hard as you think! There are pros and cons to having babies close together, but it’s not so bad.

My oldest two children are 13 months apart, 12 months and 3 weeks, really.

Just shy of being technical Irish twins.

My second born and third born are 15 months apart.

My third born and fourth born are 16 months apart.

So that’s 4 babies in 4 years. And, surprise!!!!, I’m pregnant again.

So, in 5 years I gave birth to 5 children.

“Babies close together?”

“Are you nuts?”

“Have you lost your mind?”

“You do, um, know how babies are made, don’t you?”

These are how people generally react when they find out how close my children are in age. Most people can’t imagine what would possess a woman to do such a thing.

I just smile and say, “Really, it’s not as hard as you think.” And I mean it. And it’s not because I’m super mom, it’s because of the way we organize and run our home.

It isn’t always pretty.

Sometimes I’m tired.

Sometimes I’m angry.

I’m often overwhelmed.

But it’s worth every minute and not as bad as you might think. Here’s why.

Routine Brings Peace

I followed a routine as best as I could, and very early on my daughter was napping well and sleeping through the night.

And this includes overseas trips and a complete migration to another continent.

I was so overjoyed with being a mother and having a sweet baby that we didn’t feel compelled to wait to keep adding to the brood.

In fact, I have been able to get the kids to “Buy Into Their Routine” and that means they sort of follow the routine on auto-pilot.

Of course, there are various things that can make infancy difficult – colic, food allergies, illness, etc. – but barring those medical complications, a good routine takes out so much guesswork and complication.

With each new addition there have been adjustments made, but on the whole, our home is one of peace. Well, as peaceful as it can be with tiny tots.

Sticky Routines System

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There is a Semblance of Structure

With regular nap times, Independent play, and the Benefits of Routine I felt a confidence and security knowing I had a “strategy” to fall back on.

My kids All Take a Nap at the Same Time Every Afternoon.

They do Independent Play in their rooms at the same time and go to bed around the same time.

Having a predictable daily routine helps make having four children so close together possible. In fact, it even makes babies close together highly enjoyable.

You can even use visual cues to help your toddlers follow their own routines. My daughter and oldest son enjoy using These Cards to know what to do when.

You print them, cut them out, hang them up, and voila!

Younger toddlers won’t be able to follow it without supervision, but older ones certainly can and enjoy the independence of doing so.

Note: Here’s the Best Double Stroller for Kids close in age.

I Worked on Their (and My) Sleep

With my four children, at least 2.5 hours each day (not including all night) they’re all asleep (or resting) at the same time.

From approximately 1 pm to 3:30 pm they are all in their cribs or beds. And they all go to bed between 7:30-8:00 pm.

This is absolutely not bragging and it’s not because my kids are exceptional – except of course they are exceptional – it is because Healthy Sleep Habits are Not a Mystery, even though it may seem so right now.

By helping to instill good sleep habits, you raise babies and toddlers who like sleep. This means they’ll go to bed most days without a fuss.

Not all the time, mind you, but it’s much easier. I also focus on Getting Tons of Rest and taking power naps. A must in my book.

Read: 10 Reasons Your Baby Can’t Sleep

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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I Gave Myself Breathing Room

I need Regular Alone Time to put my best foot forward. And considering I work from home for a few hours daily, the space that independent play and regular napping give is a godsend.

Each morning the kids play independently and in the afternoon they rest. At night, they are in bed at a reasonable time and that gives me hours a day to Recharge and Refresh.

I am a firm believer that every mother should parent based on their own strengths and beliefs, within healthy boundaries of course, but I don’t know how a mother of children aged very close together could cope without consistent routine.

Without it life is chaos.

Self-Care That Sticks

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four children close in age sitting by a lake

Regular Connection and Discipline Raise Pleasant Children

Now, children are children and we are all born with “my, me, mine” tendencies.

My pastor used to say if you don’t think humans are born into sin then you’ve never had kids. On the whole, my children are sweet, cooperative, grateful, and well-behaved.

Just yesterday we were at the car dealership for over an hour and they commented on how well-behaved and calm our children were.

Of course, shortly after this they started playing with an oily chain outside and started trying to climb up the show cars, but hey, Toddlers Can Only Sit Still for So long, right?

My parenting philosophy is to discipline in a way that helps children learn to trust their parents and draw security from this.

Meet Necessary Needs First

Food, sleep, other needs are met in a timely fashion before circumstances become dire.

Children are taught what is expected of them, shown plenty of positive love and affirmation, and given consequences when needed.

When Having Children Close Together in Age, it’s important they are obedient to your word and follow instructions well.

This will not be 100% and sometimes you’ll have children running away from you screaming “don’t get me” and The Neighbors Will Start to Get Suspicious. But that won’t be the norm.

Some days my husband and I wonder what on earth we got ourselves into!

There is squealing, tattling, spilling, back talk and tears. From the kids and the parents.

It’s loud, relentless, and all-consuming.

But it’s also amazing. And really, it’s not so bad…

How can we meet each child’s unique needs with multiple littles?

Honestly, you just figure it out. Trial and error. Some things to prioritize in the home to meet your kids’ individual needs could be: quality one-on-one time with each child, intentionally building sibling bonds, celebrate individuality, customize connection and discipline to the needs of each child, and having quality family time.

Will our children miss out on individual attention and experiences if we have kids close in age?

Let’s take a look at what children gain from having siblings close in age to them. In my experience, love is multiplied with each child, not divided.

Close bond: children close in age often share experiences, creating a unique bond. Their camaraderie can lead to treasured memories and a built-in playmate.
Collective learning: Group adventures can foster collaboration and enhance their social skills as they navigate experiences together.
Joint milestones: Celebrating milestones together can amplify the joy. Shared birthdays and firsts create a sense of togetherness.

How to Cope When Your Child Talks Nonstop

We already have some good tips for quieting the noise in our homes. We also know a great calm down trick for excessive hyperactivity. Now let’s talk about what to do when your child talks nonstop… and it makes you want to pull your hair out.

We must all understand the irony of this…

I am a nonstop talker.

Well, to be honest, I talk less than I used to. Mostly because with these kids, I can’t get a word in. But I used to talk all the time.

When I was nervous.

When I was bored.

Maybe because I’m a lonely only (Birth Order Matters) and I never had a sibling around to take the edge off my talking. Either way… I’m getting back what I paid in. In spades!

I recently had a reader write and ask this. I’ve paraphrased (because I can’t find the email) but this was the gist.

“I love my daughter to pieces, but she talks nonstop. She is constantly asking me questions and trying to get my attention while I’m doing things and it really drives me nuts.

I know it’s not good to ignore her or get frustrated, and I want her to feel she can talk to me, but she talks nonstop and it’s making me crazy.

Any tips?”

At the time, I sent one or two tips, but I hadn’t really had direct experience with this, and now I do.

But before we move on… I know you are all thinking of this quote. This beautiful true quote that is also guilt inducing if your talker is doing your head in.

Let’s agree that listening and engaging with our kids is good. It’s possible to be a present parent without losing it.

It is also possible, however, to pretend your talker doesn’t drive you nuts and then – when you can’t take it anymore – explode in frustration with something like “Shut up!” or “Can’t you just stop talking for like 5 minutes?”

Really… those reactions are what we want to avoid.

What To Do When Your Child Talks Nonstop (And You Want to Pull Your Hair Out…)

Having a child who talks a lot and wants to engage with you is good, let’s figure out how to make it good for everyone.

Make Time For Talk

So the first thing we need to make sure we’re doing is to actually engage with our child. My Talker wants to talk all the time so it seems like we talk all the time… but when I thought about it we don’t really.

I’ve tried to make purposeful time for conversations throughout the day, or at least a good run at bedtime, so I know there is true talking happening.

This can be ten minutes while you prepare dinner, a nice cuddle in bed at bedtime, or talking in the car while running errands.

The key is to be engaged and present, not absent. To make sure your child knows you are actively engaging in the conversation. This will also help with your mom guilt.

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child smiling at the camera over her shoulder

Make Eye Contact and Focus

When you’ve decided it’s Talk Time, make sure you are focusing. I’ve found it so hard to focus on anything throughout the day when the kids are all running free.

Just today as the kids were doing chores and vying for our attention and being loud, my husband looked at me and said…

“We live on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.”

?????

That said, when I’ve decided I’m going to fully listen, it’s much easier.

To make sure you’re engaging you can:

kneel down at their eye level
put down your phone, book, or task at hand
repeat what your child has said (active listening) before responding
ask questions they can’t answer with “yes” or “no”

Make Time for You

Here’s the kicker. You need to find time for you (if you’re bad at this, I’ve created a printable workbook for you). If you are consistently at the end of your rope you’ll not react well to your children.

You’ll become an angry mom with a lot of triggers. You’ll be unreasonable, then regret it.

Find time for yourself in the everyday. Then, if that’s not enough, prioritize it. This could be one evening a week. It might mean giving your bathroom a face lift so it’s a spa like retreat for you in the evenings.

Perhaps you could buy some books to help unwind (here are some good books for moms). Whatever you need to do to get centered and unwind, do that.

It’s not easy keeping boundaries.

Self-Care That Sticks

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Choose Helpful Phrases

Yesterday my husband was swimming in the pool with two kids. He said they were constantly talking, asking questions, nudging, nudging, asking questions, and he nearly lost it.

And for him, “losing it” means withdrawing from the family.

Afterwards we talked and he decided he needed to instruct them to give him space, not simply close his eyes and try not to blow his lid.

These phrases can help you to communicate your need for space to your child without being rude or causing them to feel rejected.

The effects of rejection in childhood are real and, where possible, we always want to communicate acceptance while we keep our boundaries.

“Give me a minute.” Kids can learn this.
“I need some space.” Before you need the space, explain what this means.
“No talking for a minute or two.” As long as you don’t test them beyond their self-control levels, this works.

child facing the other way with fists in the air

Let Them Talk… and Let Go of Guilt

At the end of the day, some children talk more than others. Sometimes they go on and on and on and on and it’s not only annoying, but maddening.

Ultimately, we want our children to talk to us freely and willingly, but we also have limits.

This is particularly true for introverted moms.

If you must, just let them talk. You can even tell them they are free to talk, but you can’t respond right now. It’s okay. You don’t have to feel guilty you aren’t able to engage in active conversation 24 hours a day. Kids can learn when it’s a good idea to talk to you or not.

Engage with your child.

Be present when you’re present.

And give yourself a break when you need a rest.

FAQs:

What if my child’s talking disrupts their activities or routines?

Acknowledge their enthusiasm and assure them that you love hearing what they have to say. Then, set clear expectations for how they should do a task. If your child understands the concept of time, tell them how long something should take or use a timer to keep them on track to complete a routine. Creating clear communication zones can help, such as: “While we are doing _________, we need to be focused on the task at hand. Then, we will have some time to talk.”

How do I teach my child about conversation etiquette?

By modeling conversation etiquette! Model active listening, engaging in conversations, taking turns, using eye contact, and asking open-ended questions. If your child is struggling with dominating conversations with their talking, help them understand that conversations are shared spaces. Guide them to balance sharing their thoughts with listening to others.

How can I encourage meaningful conversations with my kids during Talk Time?

Oooh, I love this question! Create a judgement-free zone where kids feel safe and heard when they share. On a lighter note, share stories, use their interests to drive conversations, have some conversation starter ideas handy (“would you rather” is a great one for kids!), ask open ended questions, and have fun!

Nip 1-Year-Old Tantrums In The Bud With These Tricks!

If you are having some mega one year old tantrums or meltdowns in your home, these tips will help your little one have peaceful days.

1 is so so hard.

The baby phase is just so precious and sweet and cute and – if they are sleeping – not too difficult. Emotionally it might be difficult, but behavior wise, nah.

One year olds?

They’re hard.

They are trying to grab knives and fall off chairs and walk onto roads and do all manner of life threatening things.

Reminds me of this infographic I made one time that went viral numerous times.

Read: Is Your 1-Year-Old Wearing You Out? Try These Simple Activities

This is the age where babies grow into toddlers and begin to find their place in the world.

They are a bit less dependent on mama (although, of course, still wholly dependent on you) and their personalities start to emerge as well.

So do many different types of behavior.

At this age, unless baby is exhausted or extremely over-stimulated, tantrums shouldn’t be too severe or exaggerated.

It’s a great time to set some expectations and boundaries around various family rules. If we do this well, the next few years won’t be nearly as tricky.

Read: How To Be An Empathetic Mom Without Being Soft On The Rules

one year old smiling and grabbing for the camera

What does a one year old tantrum look like?

Arching back, bucking, and fighting in the high chair or car seat.

Throwing themselves down onto the ground in protest

Hitting, kicking, or fighting

Refusing to do what you’ve asked

Running away from you instead of coming to you

That’s just a sampling, but most one year old behaviors you don’t like will be included in those above.

Nip One Year Old Tantrums In The Bud With These Tricks!

Here’s what you’ll find in this post to help your little one dispense with the one year old tantrums.

Square one: sleep and routine and eating

There are two things to ask yourself before you fear your little 1 year old is a destined rebel.

Has he had enough sleep?
Does he have a predictable routine?
Is he eating enough nutritionally dense foods? If not, is he snacking all day?

If the answer to these questions are no, no, no, and yes… start there.

A tired baby will be fussy and out of sorts. A baby who doesn’t know when to expect what and experiences mom showing up and asking him to do something “all of a sudden” will not respond as pleasantly as a child who is used to the daily flow.

Your routine doesn’t have to be to the minute, but find a predictable daily rhythm (even if all the days are slightly different) and stick with it.

Watch how your little one eats. If you find your child snacks all day, but rarely eats enough to be full and fights more nutritious foods, start there. Have set snack times and try to encourage baby to eat well at meals. This will help sleep and behavior.

Read: The Tried-And-True 1 Year Old Sleep Schedule

Watch this quick video for some insight on an important element in your 1 year old’s sleep schedule.

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Wait it out or keep moving?

With little ones, it’s not a good idea to get into a negotiation.

Or to try and reason with a child.

When your one year old is throwing a tantrum, she is not thinking with her cerebral cortex (logical thinking brain). She is feeling with her amygdala (emotional brain).

Don’t expect your one year old to be reasonable and logical. Instead, expect them to gradually come to understand and follow your family rules.

If you’ve asked your little one to come to you and they do not, simply go to them, pick them up and bring them back to the starting point. No need to yell, get angry, or make a big fuss. Simply model for your child what you expect of them.

1 year olds can often react strongly if you don’t give them what they want. That’s okay. The direct goal is not that your one year old doesn’t react, but that they learn to cope with getting what they get. If you were not going to give them something, don’t give it. Giving a child something after a tantrum teaches your child that if they throw a tantrum they will get something. Then they will continue this. It’s not manipulation, it’s good sense. If I could cry to my lender and avoid paying my mortgage – and that worked – then I’d do it monthly.

Just because your child is pitching a fit doesn’t mean you need to actually do anything. Sometimes, doing nothing, is exactly the ticket. If they’re fussing because they want you to do something you aren’t going to do, then let them get on with their fit. It’ll pass.

Read: A Brilliant Tip for Moms Of Littles to Follow… The 10-Year-Rule

Say What You See^®with one year old tantrums

A good rule of thumb to show your child you see them and understand, is to Say What You See^®.

Say What You See is a Language of Listening concept and is a bit like narrating what is happening, without adding any judgment or value to it.

Your 1 year old is in the high chair and is refusing to eat. She is throwing her food onto the ground.

You might say something like, “You don’t want to eat that! You are done.”

Then you take the food away.

Next, your little one might start arching her back or banging on the high chair, trying to get out.

“You are ready to get down NOW! We get down when dinner is over.”

You are simply saying what is going on. This helps your child understand that you are aware of what is happening.

At this age that is quite important since many 1 year olds are pre-verbal and not able to fully explain themselves.

Read: Trying to Stop a Temper Tantrum? 7 Things You Might Be Missing

Don’t “parent to emotions” while your one year old is having a tantrum

One mistake that’s so easy to make at this age, is to make your own choices based on your child’s whims.

The problem with this is not that you are taking into consideration your child’s wants, but that giving the burden of parenting over to your one year old is simply unwise.

They want candy.

They don’t want naps.

Or they like to run away from you in crowds.

They will climb too tall tables and try to jump off.

And they’ll touch the oven.

You get the idea.

Families need boundaries and rules and these are decided by the parents. If your child reacts emotionally or has one year old tantrums in response to these rules, that’s okay!

This is normal.

That doesn’t mean you change your rules or boundaries. You simply help your child do what’s expected of them.

If you change your mind on what you expect your child to do or not do based on their reactions, you will always be tossed to and fro by baby’s whims. And baby’s whims will change based on their mood, their irritability, and their current mood. You can’t make your own decisions based on their moods.

You don’t need tons of rules, but the rules you do have, keep them whether or not baby momentarily likes it.

Read: 3 Simple Keys To Understanding Your Child’s Emotional Needs

Control the environment

Don’t expect your 1 year old to have a high and consistent level of self-control.

They just aren’t old enough.

Can they learn self-control? Yes!

Can they learn to follow your instructions? Of course!

A common mistake I see with moms (and that I see in myself) is giving our children too much freedom then expecting them to have the self-control to make good choices in the face of temptation.

If you don’t want your child to make a huge mess with toys, don’t let them have free reign over a lot of toys.
If you’ve got certain rooms that are off limits to little ones – and they can’t take a hint – child proof that door.
Want them to eat healthier foods instead of junk? Don’t keep junk food visible.
Have a child who frequently runs away from you in public? Keep them in a stroller.

So, preventing behaviors beforehand by managing the environment is the easiest and simplest way to prevent one year old tantrums.

Know your boundaries and keep them, it WILL get better

Last but not least… (maybe I should have done it first?) is this… know your own boundaries and keep them.

Especially not in the face of one year old tantrums or toddler or preschooler meltdowns.

But, it’s basically the only way.

If you constantly change your plan based on baby’s mood you will soon have a mood to rival baby’s. Breaking your own boundaries over and over creates anxiety and depression. True story.

Baby can be disappointed and upset and cry and all of that is okay. If you are providing a loving nurturing home with food, times for rest, and a safe bed then you are doing good. Baby will not be happy with all your choices and that means they are learning what they like and don’t like. The goal is not to make them “like” something, but help them learn to follow the family rules.

Be consistent. 100% is not necessary, but if baby sees that you are consistent with what you allow and don’t allow, they will get the hang of it. Our preschool recently had a meeting and reminded us parents that the kids are all capable of learning the school rules and keeping them. It seems to be the parents who forget!

Read: Boundaries: The Only Way To Stay Sane In Motherhood & Life

FAQs about 1 year olds

Are tantrums normal for a 1 year old?

Yes! Depending on your baby’s personality, some one year olds have more temper tantrums than others. If your baby is used to having their daily routine and habits led predictably by mom, they are less likely to throw fits. If they are overtired and overstimulated, they are also more likely to throw a tantrum.

Can a 1 year old have anger issues?

1 is a little young for underlying anger issues. However, there are quite a few that can cause your toddler to be unsettled and angry. Pain, teething, hunger, overtiredness, and overstimulation can all be overwhelming to your little one and cause them to act angry.

How do I deal with my 1 year old’s tantrums?

As mentioned above, the best ways to deal with tantrums are to manage your baby’s day well, to keep them well fed and not too snacked up, to make sure they are not overtired or overstimulated, and to have clear ground rules that you help your little one follow.

Can a 1 year old understand no?

Absolutely. 1-year-olds can understand a great deal and the concept of “no” is one of them. You can begin to help your little one understand this more and more by saying it and then letting your child respond. If they continue to do what you’ve said no to, you remove them from the situation to communicate that message, then try again later.

Does language development tend to help with decreasing tantrums?

Some tantrums are the result of a child not being able to communicate their needs or wants effectively. With language development, some children have less tantrums. Some ways you can encourage language development include: reading books, singing songs, repeating rhymes, talking with them frequently, and using simple language.

Can separation anxiety lead to tantrums?

Yes. Remember, separation anxiety is a phase that will pass, so give yourself (and your child!) grace in the meantime. Some things that could help with separation anxiety include: creating a goodbye routine (keep it short and practice it), stay calm and confident, and give your child a comfort item when you leave.

Your 2 Year Old Constantly Crying and Whining? It Might Be These Things!

Being a two year old is no walk in the park. There are many factors that can affect why your two year old is constantly crying and whining. If you’ve started thinking you’re in terrible twos and your child is just falling apart, having meltdowns, being aggressive, not listening well, or just simply crying a lot, take hope. There are factors like sleep needs, powerlessness, need for connection, and more! Here are some main causes as well as solutions.

I remember way back before having kids I told some of my friends… 2 year olds are totally the best.

They are squishy, cute, still small but not babyish, and they say really funny stuff.

I stand by this assessment.

What I didn’t know at the time in my innocent pre-motherhood state was that 2-year-olds are also tough. They fight bedtimes, they go through sleep regressions, they throw hissy fits, and they have their own minds.

Parenting toddlers isn’t for the faint of heart.

Let’s jump into some possible reasons why your 2 year old is whiny, fussy, and throwing fits all the time. You definitely want to address these if whining is one of your big parenting triggers.

Over-tiredness and/or over-stimulation

Nothing makes a two year old whiny like being over-tired. That’s because one of the most important/fundamental needs of a growing two year old is proper sleep.

At this age children need between anywhere from 11 to 14 hours of sleep a day. This includes a daytime nap.

Sleep is necessary because…

Your child’s brain is growing, replacing chemicals, solving problems, and storing information while they sleep.
Proper sleep improves attention, behavior, learning, and memory.
Overall physical and mental health is related to receiving a proper amount of sleep.
Proper sleep can help prevent exhaustion related crying and whining in toddlers

Prevent over-tiredness by…

Establishing a sleep schedule.
Limit screen time. I suggest 0 screen time, but if you have to, less than an hour. And NOT before bed
Keeping a bedtime routine.
Avoiding night terrors and nightmares by getting them to bed on time

At two, you’re probably still learning the personality and personality needs of your child. It wasn’t until quite a bit later than two that I discovered that my oldest boy was a True Introvert.

That being said, it shed some light on some of his crying and whining situations from a toddler. I now know that he doesn’t do well with over-stimulation. He takes it for a while, but after some time he requires alone time to “unpack.”

Not Enough Structure So Fighting Transitions

For a two year old, every day is full of brand new experiences. It’s a lot to take in..

If you find that your child is constantly crying and whining, it may be due to the fact that they don’t have enough structure in their day.

Even on days where we’re traveling or people are over… I always stick to some basic daily structures. It can be challenging, but children thrive with consistency.

Humans are creatures of habit. And, change takes lots of energy.

Try looking at the situation from your child’s perspective…

They just settled into playing at the park (because they have no concept of time and you’ve really been there 3 hours), but it’s time to go. When you say “it’s time to go” it’s meltdown city and the town is burning down.

This transition may be hard for them because they are having so much fun and don’t really see what’s coming next.

Try this to avoid crying and whining…

Give your child a time warning. Five or two minutes before leaving, have them pick one more activity before they leave. Explain that they will be leaving soon.
Once you say “it’s time to go” stick with it. If they get used to you going back on your word, they may cry and whine to get their way.
Offer a genuine reason for leaving. For example: “I’m making yummy spaghetti for dinner and I need to get it started now.” Bright kids particularly resist when they don’t think what you’re doing makes sense.
Positively enforce using words of affirmation. Be clear about what you are proud about. Say: “I loved the way you came right when I called and smiled when I put you in your car seat.”
Instruct your child by telling them what you expect then to do, not what they are doing wrong. For example, say: “Let’s put a smile on your face and get excited about helping mommy make spaghetti.” vs “Stop crying and whining- that’s all you ever do.”

Teething and Molars

Your child will probably get their two year old molars between 23 and 33 months old. These are large, flat teeth at the very back of their mouth. The lower seat usually appears first, and the upper set a bit later.

These teeth are great for grinding all the different foods they start to experience at this age. But, cutting those molars in isn’t that fun…

Although some toddlers don’t experience must discomfort, others can have quite a bit of pain. Every child is different.

Your 2 year old may be teething if…

they start chewing on toys, fingers, or clothing
night wakings start happening that had stopped a long while ago
they become super irritable which is abnormal for them
they have a low-grade temperature
or they are constantly crying and whining

I learned with my first child that teething symptoms usually worsen at night. Unfortunately this is when a child is more tired and doesn’t have the daytime distractions from the pain.

So, if they are constantly crying and whining… it may be good to look into some teething remedies.

Read These While You’re At It

Curious Behaviors That Come With Toddler Teething

How Babies Can Teeth Without Losing Sleep (5 Hacks!)

Toddler Behavior Stressing You Out? Reset With These Simple Tips

Not Getting Enough Physical Activity

In a world full of device and screens… more and more young children are inactive in their lifestyle. Being overly inactive can be damaging to a child’s development, physical health, and mental health.

Kids learn by doing. They learn by having experiences. They grow through active play. Active play is essential and a lack of it can cause a two year old to be constantly crying and whining.

To be bored, listless, and zombie like.

Take the kids to the park. Create safe outdoor areas where they can run wild and free if you have the space. Make walking, running, or playing a priority. This helps with mood regulation and tires them out.

Read These While You’re At It

45+ Easy Outdoor Games And Activities For Kids Your Family Will Love

Avoid Summer Screen Time Battles In 4 Steps (Printable Included!)

Outdoor Play Tips To Get (And Keep) The Kids Outside!

Indoor & Outdoor Toddler Climbing Toys (To Help Get That Energy Out!)

It Gets Them What They Want- So They Cry

I recently had a mom confess to me that she let’s her two year old get whatever she wants… because she doesn’t want to hear her cry.

This is exactly how to teach that two year old- that crying is the ticket to everything she wants.

I am by no means suggesting that children should be left along to cry their heart out. However, I am suggesting that teaching children to cry as a means of communicating what they want can be avoided.

What if I already do this?

If you’re already in the trap of “they cry to get what they want”- try these things:

When your child starts to cry for something, model the correct way to ask for it.
Take it slow, but require them to attempt the “please” or “can I have” before giving them what they want.
Reward them with smiles, hugs, and positive words affirmation when they use their words to communicate.

Feeling Emotionally Disconnected and Needs More Connection Time with Mom

I’m gong to go back to technology here… It’s easy to fall in into the Present But Absent mom status.

It your two year old is constantly crying and whining, take a step back and notice when they seem their worst. Is it while you’re on your device? If it is, they are probably craving more connection time with mom.

Feeling emotionally disconnected can also come from:

Lack of time spent together (some 1:1 tips for kids here)
social stresses such as change of environment or new people,
a sudden change in routine,
or too much screen time themselves.

Major Changes Going On at Home

Major changed going on at home can certainly cause a two year old to be constantly crying and whining.

Often times, children take longer to process change than adults do. What is simple to us, may make them feel like their whole world is upside down.

Also, children who are on the spectrum or have specific learning exceptionalities are more often than not… more sensitive to change.

Be constant and unwavering in your reaction to change (around your two year old). In other words, don’t freak out about change- this can upset them.
Understand that they may show symptoms of change hours… days later. The constantly crying and whining may even seem like it’s about something else altogether.

Read: Books To Talk About Hard Topics With Kids

Erratic Sleep Routines like Super Late Bedtime or Sleeping Half the Morning Away

As any mom would tell you, it’s super tempting to let them stay up late- in order to sleep in. That way, you can get some things done in the morning.

Unfortunately, this type of routine can cause a two year old to be off kilter with the normal daily rhythms. Our bodies do align with the rising and setting of the sun.

Little ones who go to bedtime by 7pm or so can enjoy 5 hours of restorative sleep because the hours until midnight are the deepest of the entire night.

A sleep routine for your 2 year old is super important and children will behave better when they have one under wraps.

Wake up and start the day time should be fairly consistent
Nap times (or rest times) should be consistent
Bedtimes should be consistent

Normal Developmental Changes (More Emotions Coming Up/Developmental Leaps)

At times, being a two year old is hard work.

They are growing so fast. And have many emotions and developmental leaps coming up.

During this age, kids start to develop a strong sense of self and therefore can come across as being being bossy or selfish. Furthermore, they are not developmentally ready to share and have a wide range of curiosities (which probably get them into trouble).

Additionally, two year olds experience extreme feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, and shame. And yet, they don’t quite know how to express themselves.

This burst of independence- coupled with the inability to effectively communicate can lead to crying and whining.

Rest assured, with patience and time… this too shall pass.

Separation Anxiety which Can Take Hold Around This Age

Separation anxiety can take hold around 9 moths of age, and last for years. It can lead to crying and whining during the most inopportune times. Remember these truths:

It’s a normal developmental stage.
Helps develop object permanence.

Stay calm and confident in your approach to their separation anxiety.

The more you can exude confidence and calm to your child during the emotional moments, the more they will model your behavior and trust that everything really is “OK”.

Read: Separation Anxiety At Bedtime

Ways to Support Your Emotional Toddler

Teach about emotions

show acceptance & understanding by responding to their reactions in a calm but firm way
give them lots of affection
work on forming a secure attachment (not based on if your child can see you at the moment)
applaud effort (not success)
encourage learning whenever possible
practice patience

Frequently Asked Questions:

My two-year-old cries as soon as we drop him off somewhere. What do I do?

Remain calm, this is a normal experience for most parents of toddlers! Before dropping him off, talk to him about where he is going, what he will do there, who he will see, etc. to help prepare him for what’s coming. Consider letting him take a comfort item or favorite toy with him while he’s away from you. Respond to his reactions in a calm, reassuring way. Remember, this too shall pass!

How can I prevent overstimulation in my toddler?

It takes time to get to know the needs of each child, and some get more overstimulated than others. Take notes about when you think they may be getting overstimulated and notice if there are patterns. Try giving independent play time, a nap, or another quiet activity such as reading a book when you notice them getting overstimulated.

Sources:

32 Consequences Moms Can Use for Negative Behavior

Here are some consequences for negative and undesirable behavior moms use for toddlers, preschoolers, and younger children. Of course, before giving consequences to our kids for their behavior, we want to make sure they are well-fed, well-slept, and emotionally supported with a strong connection with us. We can do that through validation, good routines, and a peaceful life. If you’re wanting some consequences to use with rules in your home, this post will help.

Let’s get one thing out of the way.

“Mean” moms aren’t bad people.

Mean moms are, by cultural definition, moms who are more worried about their children’s well-being than their momentary happiness.

This perspective often means they make decisions that their children don’t like in the moment.

And mean moms hold to their choices (if their choices are wise ones) even when these choices make their kids mad.

Before we move on and I get tons of hate mail and everyone is Up In Arms, let’s talk about 4 different types of parenting and where Mean Moms fall.

√ Authoritarian: strict, controlling, often cold and detached, seek total obedience, believe the goal of parenting is to bed the will of the child to a greater authority

√ Authoritative: strict, consistent, loving, and are issue-oriented and pragmatic, they try to balance the responsibility of the child to conform to parental instruction as well as recognizing children are not robots (emphasis my own)

√ Permissive: lenient, avoid confrontation, loving, and allow children to self-regulate

√ Uninvolved: demands nothing, gives nothing

(sources here and here)

So for the purposes of this post, Moms are Authoritative Parents.

Parents who do not make incessant demands, but who have boundaries they keep and discipline occurs when those boundaries are crossed.

Mean moms gives tons of cuddles because it’s good for their kids’ brains. They don’t make unreasonable requests of their children, they make logical ones.

Also, they recognize that childishness is not the same thing as foolishness, and they discipline the foolishness while explaining over and over and over again why we don’t do the childish ones.

Consequences when Kids Are Mean to Siblings, Playmates, or Family

Removal from the play situation or interaction. If a child cannot be kind to a sibling, for example, they must go play elsewhere.
Set up a “bickering table” (source). Give your kids a time to argue and get it all out. It can be in a conversation if they’re older or a horseplay rough and tumble (if yours are into this sort of thing like mine are). Instead of constantly telling the to stop, let them deal with their frustrations with a moderator. You, the mean mom.
Have the offending child say 5 nice things about the person they’ve just hurt or offended. This is hard for preschoolers (nearly impossible for toddlers) but they catch on, and it encourages positive connection.
Go to independent play time and have opportunity to settle down.
Have a “do over” where they need to say again (or do again) what they should have done in the first place.

Read: Strict Parents: What They Are, Aren’t, and Pesky Boundaries

Read: Time In Vs. Time Out … and is Time Out Damaging Kids?

Consequences when Kids Refuse to Mind

Time out. Or time in. Call it what you want, having your child sit tight for a few minutes and think about what’s happening can mean an immediate change of attitude and cooperation.
Loss of a privilege. If they can’t do what you ask, they can’t have screen time (or insert privilege here). The South African method for cooperation may be the best bet here anyway.
Use the phrase “I’ll know you’re ready to {do this} when you {do that}.” So, “I’ll know you’re ready to get down and play when you put away your plate. If you won’t put it away, you stay put.” Get many more phrases that work wonders here.
Early to nap or early to bed. Defiance often occurs when kids are emotionally overloaded which often happens when they’re tired. Sometimes the best thing you can do is lead a kid to their bed.
Take away a toy. Having toys and games are privileges. If a child is refusing to carry out a responsibility, take away a toy, aka. a privilege. Then it can be returned upon completion of the task.

Read: Quiet time (Rest time) for Toddlers: All You Need to Know

Consequences for Fighting Naps or Bedtime

Going to bed early (if nap was a nightmare) or going to bed early the next night (if bedtime was a nightmare). It’s actually a myth that being tired makes you sleep better. Being tired makes you cranky and crazy.
No books at bedtime. I don’t actually like this consequence because I love reading with the kids at night, but if a child is throwing themselves down on the ground and making all manner of fuss, it might need to happen.
The silent return. This isn’t really a “consequence” per se, but if they come out of their room just bring them back without getting into a debate. Over and over and over again. They’ll get the picture.
You just make them do it. The consequence is that you just get on with bedtime and do it. Kids might kick and scream and fight sleep (because exhausted babies and toddlers and kids do this) but you just get a grip on your emotions, love cuddle hug, and put them to bed anyway.

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

mom and daughter reading a bedtime story

Consequences for Tantrums and Fits

Removal from the scene. If you’re having a family dinner and someone is melting down, you can remove that child from the scene not to isolate them, but to prevent their mood from ruining dinner for everyone else. They can return as soon as they’re feeling better. Remember, you don’t have to make them feel better.
“Go on the couch and cry cry cry until you’re okay.” When my kids are very upset and whining and crying, I’ll often suggest they go lay on the couch and cry until it’s all out. This encourages them to emote, then you can have a conversation when they’re calm.
Send them to their room for a rest. If your child is losing it, it can be a result of tiredness. Put on some white noise give them a Quiet Room, and let them have a rest.

Consequences for Not Minding in Public

Mom time. If in a park or play area, they come sit by mom. Once my son was hurting his brother over and over so he forfeited his entire play time there and had to sit on the bench by me. This has never happened again.
They earn a “job.” I had 4 boys (ages 4 to 4 months) in a doctor’s waiting room for 2 hours and the way I kept the peace was if they got out of their seats or ran around they earned a job. This was actually fun for them, they were pretty tame, and the next day by dinner I had a fully cleaned bathroom :). Remember, there are chores little kids can do well.

Read: Toddler Behavior Stressing You Out? Reset With These Simple Tips

They miss out on the fun thing or the treat. When I go to the store with the kids I always get them a lollipop. They are.50 each so this is not a splurge, but they feel like it is. If they misbehave (actual misbehaving, not just annoying behavior) then they don’t get their lollipop.

How to Handle Lying or Misdirection

Separate the offense and the lie. Don’t just have one blanket consequence for it all, but separate them. Who ripped the book, broke the vase, or freed the bunny is a different situation than lying about who did it.
Give your child a chance to come clean. Don’t ask questions that encourage the lie. Don’t look at a child with a broken vase at his feet and say, “Who broke the vase?” Instead say, “You broke the vase, huh? What happened?” Always in a voice that welcomes discussion, not one that invokes shame.
Give them a do over. If you know your child has just lied, tell them something like, “I’m going to give you a few minutes to think about this, and then I’d love to hear the truth about what happened.” This is usually enough for them to feel “off the spot” and be okay with telling you the truth, even if the situation is an anger trigger for you.
Don’t take it personally, but help them value the truth. Children are not trying to be manipulative or immoral, they’re just trying to solve a “problem” and aren’t sure how. Read books about Boys Crying Wolf or the value of honesty and make sure you’re honest with your own communication. Know that lying is a developmental milestone and try not to overreact.

Discipline with Dignity

Start Now

Consequences for Getting Out of Bed or Leaving Their Rooms in the Middle of Night or Morning

Aside from Potty Reasons or Nightmares.

Bring back the crib. If toddlers are getting out of their beds and coming out of their room, put them back in their crib. I don’t understand the compulsion to put very young toddlers in big boy beds when they don’t have the self-control to match it. I keep mine in their cribs as long as possible and this has worked for us. If it isn’t working, feel free to change.
Take all toys or books out of their room, or put them out of reach. If your child is getting out of bed to play, make sure they have nothing to play with during sleep or rest times.
Get a child door lock or something similar. Now, before you start sending me hate mail… we live on 20 acres with a pond, a pool, and a busy road nearby. One of my sons knows how to open all doors and he likes to come out of his room when everyone else is still sleeping. It is both unwise and dangerous for me to allow him this freedom when he is too young to handle it. Now, he physically cannot come out of his room in the mornings unless I let him out. It is for his safety, not his punishment.

Consequences for Procrastination, Avoidance, or Dragging Feet on a Task

Use the South African method of order. Don’t put fun things first, then stop those, then ask kids to do chores. Do it the other way round.
Use a timer. If your child hasn’t finished by the time the timer goes off, and your expectations are actually realistic, then give them another job to do.

Consequences for Fighting Over Toys

Take the toy away. Create specific rules about sharing or fighting, etc. If there is one toy that consistently causes kids to fight, take it away in the name of sibling affection.
Give the child place to play alone. If they enjoy playing with their siblings they won’t want to lose that time. If they can’t play with sibling without fighting, they play alone.
They choose another game. Instead of fighting over one toy, that toy gets taken away and you help them find something else to play with. Sometimes the working together to find a new game gets them back on the same team.

Loving Authority

Being in charge doesn’t mean being harsh or heavy-handed—it means being steady, clear, and confident. This workshop will help you understand what healthy authority really looks like. When you know how to show up as a secure, grounded leader, your kids feel safe, and everyone starts listening.

Start Now

General Tips about Consequences for the Mean Mom

Pick your battles. Don’t choose a stupid hill to die on. If it isn’t a big deal don’t make it into one because your guilt is telling you that every single not quite exactly right thing your child does must go punished. Release yourself from that. The kids are alright. That said, here are some battles worth fighting.
Always be kind. You can be firm and kind. You can be consistent and kind. You can give a consequence and be kind. You can do all these things and not create a rip in your relationship with your child. My son kicked me the other night and lost the privilege to go this Nana’s for a sleepover. When I told him this consequence he actually came to me crying, sad he couldn’t go, and sorry he’d hurt me in his impulsive move. Though I gave a hard consequence, we did not lose ground relationally.
Think beforehand. Instead of just reacting quickly and giving a stern punishment you regret, have some set consequences that are your “go to” so you don’t have to rely on clear thoughts in the moment. It’ll help you not blow your own stack.

So, again, mean moms love their kids. They love them so much they want to help them learn to control themselves and make good decisions. This is what mean moms do.

We don’t make big deals out of small things.

We don’t punish for the sake of punishment.

And we discipline in love.

Frequently Asked Questions:

How can I ensure that my child learns from a consequence?

Use consequences as a teaching opportunity. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings, actions, and how they can handle similar situations better in the future.

Is it okay to be flexible with consequences occasionally?

Consistency is crucial, but there can be room for flexibility in certain situations. Use your judgment but ensure that the flexibility doesn’t turn into inconsistency.

How can I stay patient and composed when giving consequences?

Parenting can be challenging, and emotions can run high. Take a deep breath before reacting and remind yourself that you are guiding your child’s behavior positively. Remember, be kind, think beforehand, and give yourself grace. You’ve got this, mama!

Sources:

An Easy Peasy 2-Year-Old Routine That Works Every Time

Here’s a 2-year-old routine for make more peaceful days with your little one. 2-year-olds are so active, precious, and fun. They have much more time to play, but still need some independent play, a good nap (for most of the year, anyway), and an age-appropriate bedtime to make sure they aren’t waking at night or waking up too early in the morning. Know that these samples take into account “optimal” meal times and nap times according to common wisdom.

I love me some 2 year olds. I mean… they’re just *that* much easier than 1-year-olds (the hardest age for me) and they are so busy.

Developing skills, personality, and vocabulary.

two year old toddler walking on the beach

They also need to be occupied well, supervised constantly, and stimulated more than their younger siblings.

This 2 year old routine is also generally the one I use for my 3-year-olds as well, but this is the age where they come into their own.

They’ve dropped their morning naps, are able to go with the flow a bit more, and can even play by themselves without constant monitoring for longer periods.

Read: The Common 2 Year Old Sleep Regression: How To Overcome

Basis of a Schedule or Routine for 2 Year Olds

Here are things to take into account when creating a good 2 year old routine.

Wake times
Nap times
Bed times
Play times
Meal times
Snack times

Read: The Crucial Elements of a Rock-Solid Toddler Schedule

Needs of a 2-year-old

2-year-olds are their own breed.

Whew.

They are a lot of work, but they say the dangdest things, don’t they?

Repetition | Toddlers need repetition and consistency. This is the easiest way to teach them to follow their routine without nagging.
Boundaries | Your 2-year-old will push the envelope, test the waters, and find out where the family boundaries lie. This is good all around, but does require consistency on your part.
Emotional help | There are big emotions going on at this age. You’ll need to both hear them out, make them feel understood, and teach them how they are allowed to express their emotions and how they are not.

Sleep | 2-year-olds still need a nap. They’ll try to pretend they don’t and will even go a few weeks at a time where they lay in the crib talking to themselves instead of sleeping. Persevere, don’t give up because of a 2 year sleep regression, and they’ll nap again soon. Also, lack of sleep will contribute to night terrors so, we want to avoid that.
Routine | Never is a routine more helpful than when your child is growing so much developmentally. Again, you don’t have to be hampered by the clock, but find something that works and stick with it. And know that not having a routine can result in over-tiredness and even bedtime battles in the evening.

Sample Routine / Schedule for a 2 year old

7:30 am – Wake up and eat breakfast
8:30 am – Free play or sibling play
9:00 am – Independent play in location chosen by mom (Quiet Time)
10:00 am – Outside play and snack (snacking tips here)
11:00 am – Indoor activity, reading, crafts
12:00 pm – Lunch
12:30 pm – Wind down to nap

2-Year-Old Sleep Regression – Common Signs & Guaranteed Solutions

Loving Authority

Start Now

1:00 pm – Afternoon nap
3:30 pm (or when nap is over) – Afternoon snack
4:00 pm – Free play, calm activity, screen time
5:30 pm – Dinner
6:15 pm – Bath and bedtime routine for whole family
7:15 to 7:30 – Bedtime

Now, let’s break it down.

Now, if you are not a “clock oriented” person you’ll be very interested to read my post on how South Africans manage their time.

This will give you all the benefits of a schedule, but that may better fit your own personality.

Because, no matter how good a routine is for your child, if you can’t manage to keep the routine, then you’ll be the one who’s frustrated!

Read These While You’re At It

Bedtime Battles: How To Avoid Stalling, Tantrums, & Constant Questions

Nightmares, Night Terrors, & Sleep Walking In Kids: Strategies For Relief

7:30 am | Wake Up

Even if my toddler wakes up a bit early, he stays in his crib until this time. This is breakfast time.

Awesome tip: when you serve breakfast is when their metabolism signals them to wake up.

It’s the easiest way to get them to sleep later.

If you feed them at 5:30 am they’ll wake then.

I’m a stay-at-home-mom so I know this time won’t work for everyone. This clock might help if they are an early riser.

8:30 am | Free play

We do breakfast leisurely. We eat slow, put dishes away slow, and mosey away from the table slow. After that I let the kids free play for a bit to ease into the day.

I try not to let this go on long enough they start fighting and going nuts.

But, I let them figure out what they’d like to do next whether it’s riding bikes, playing with the bunny, or just messing around with toys.

You can find age appropriate bestselling toys here.

9:00 am | Independent play

Now, depending on the season, this time slot may change. Independent play is essentially letting your child play alone with their toys uninterrupted by you or siblings.

I try to have this happen daily. If your kids don’t know how to play on their own, this will help you teach them how.

Introducing a scheduled Quiet Time may be good idea at this time.

two year old playing on the floor as part of his daily routine

10:00 am | Outside play and snack

If we skip snack time, things go haywire. I am okay with letting the kids go hungry on occasion.

However, without a proper fulfilling snack they may stand by your side begging for veggie sticks or grapes until you want to bang your head against the wall.

I love sending them all outside.

We have a designated fenced play area, but if it’s summer we’re by the pool all morning or in the front yard with the hose and the dirt.

There is usually a lot less fighting outside and the squeals seem less… grating. (Here are 7 things to do when it gets too noisy)

Sticky Routines System

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10:45 am | Indoor activity

I don’t do an indoor activity every day. And, the days I do, “activity” is loose over here.

This can mean building together, reading a book, or even doing chores.

There will be a time during the day when you need to do something structured or – at least – led by you.

This is character building, helps teach them to obey instructions, and means they aren’t trying to find something to get into or throw in the toilet.

11:15 am | Free play

I let my son (who is currently 2) find something he likes to do and either let him at it or join in if I’m able.

On the days when my mother’s helper (2 mornings a week) is here, she will often play with him.

This might be Spot It or it might be trucks in the dirt.

12:00 pm | Lunch

I aim for lunches that are filling enough to last through a good long nap.

I don’t do short order cooking, but I try to offer quite a few filling options on their plate so even if they don’t eat it all (and since I don’t engage in meal time battles) they are still fairly full.

After lunch, I have them put their dishes in the sink or dishwasher (ahem, if I’ve emptied it from the night before) then we mosey down the hall to get ready for naps.

Nap time can be a struggle if your child isn’t “buying In.”

Here is how you can get your child to buy into their routine.

12:30 pm | Wind down to nap

This doesn’t always pan out as I hope, but all in all I try to utilize this calm down method or have someone else (if they’re around) read to some of the kids so I can get the others to their rooms.

Here are some wind down routines for bedtime and many apply to nap time as well.

1:00 pm | Nap

It doesn’t always happen at exactly 1, but 1 is the goal.

This means by around this time all the kids are in their rooms with lights out to nap or, those who are old enough they don’t need a nap every day, have a few quiet activities they can play independently.

My 5-year-old may only nap once a week, and my 4-year-old only 4 days a week or so.

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

4:00 pm | Wake up and snack

The time at which everyone wakes up varies.

If my older kids aren’t napping they can come out of their rooms after a couple of hours and do something quiet.

Or they often go into each other’s rooms to play quietly. Often all the nappers will sleep until 5:00 pm if I let them!

I’ve found waking up cranky is remedied by a quick snack (not too filling or sweet).

4:30 pm | Free play, TV, or calm activity

If the weather is good the kids may play outside.

If we are currently watching TV each day for a bit (I go through seasons where we do no TV all week except movie night for this particular reason) they may watch TV.

I like when the kids offer to help with dinner, but I can’t have all the kids underfoot so rotating which child can help avoids this and allows you one on one time.

5:30 pm | Dinner

We aim for eating between 5 and 5:30 pm.

This is early, I know, but means we aren’t in a manic panic to do the wind down routine and the kids still get to bed at a reasonable hour.

Reasonable being between 7 and 7:30 pm most nights. This works for our family.

Read: 5 Dinner Time Hacks To Simplify (And Sanify!) Family Meals

(Our old fashioned dinner bell)

6:00 pm | Bath and bedtime routine

If we haven’t swam that day then it’s usually bath time, books, pajamas, and calm play before bed.

That said, kids will be kids and calm can turn to chaos quickly.

My husband and I conquer and divide so each child can have a few minutes alone with each parent before bed. These wind down routines are key for babies, and I normally get baby duty.

A mommy privilege.

7:15 pm | Bed

Sometimes this is a bit earlier or later, but around this time most kids are in bed.

My 2-year-old may often stay up and talk to himself (or sing God Bless America) in his crib if he’s had a late nap, but we’re okay with that.

He doesn’t cry or fuss so it’s less stimulating and more relaxing (not to mention consistent) for him to be in bed at similar times.

Issues moms have when creating a 2 year old routine

Let’s dive into some common issues moms have when they’re trying to either create or keep a routine for their 2-year-old.

Toddlers can resist transitions like it’s their job

Transitions can be enough to make any mom go cross-eyed. Sometimes little ones don’t want to stop doing something. Other times they don’t want to start doing something.

Keeping a consistent routine will help, for one, because nothing will come as a surprise. Surprises are what often cause transition struggles.

Give “warnings” about changes.
Order your day well so you don’t stop something fun to do something not fun.
Intervene early. Don’t keep repeating yourself a million times to a 2 year old, simply pick them up and bring them where you want them to go.

Don’t wait until too late to start motivating your little one or it can cause stress.

5 Problems That Are Solved By Rotating Toys

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Start Now

What do I do with my 2-year-old all day?

Toddlers can have limited attention spans, for sure. Luckily, if you focus on creating environments conducive to safe play then you won’t have to do too much to entertain them.

If you want to start some more structured activities, go small. 5 minutes at a time, then maybe 10. Expectations (yours) play a part here and make a difference in whether it’ll be fun or not.

Do easy activities. My friend from Hands On As We Grow focuses on activities you can do with basic household things, no massive craft drawer needed.
Start small with low expectations.
Buy open ended imagination inspiring toys and allow your child plenty of time to play.
Don’t start the habit of constant entertainment. It’s addicting and not nearly as satisfying to kids as good ole fashioned play.

Read These While You’re At It

Easy No Fuss Screen-Free Activities For Kids At Home

How to Encourage Toddlers and Preschoolers To Use Their Imagination

How To Teach Your Children To Play On Their Own

Outdoor Play Tips To Get (And Keep) The Kids Outside!

Nap transitions… 2 year olds daily routines can shift with the months

Some children will nap until 4+ years old happily. Others will have dropped their daily nap by the age of 3. Your 2 year old’s daily routine will depend on this nap.

If a nap has been dropped, an earlier bedtime is in order (7pm latest, in my professional sleep certified opinion, even 6:30pm wouldn’t go amiss!).
Continue to offer afternoon rest time regardless of whether they sleep or not.
Don’t let your 2-year-old sleep later than 4 hours before you want them to go to bed. So, for example, if bedtime is 7pm, wake your toddler up by 3pm or so at the latest. Otherwise, it’ll interfere with bedtime. If you let them nap later, move bedtime back slightly.

The Key to a Good 2-Year-Old Routine

This may be so simple it goes without saying… but the key to a good routine is keeping the routine.

It can be hard to remember what all you want to do with an energetic two-year-old running around, but once you get the hang of it, routine will be second nature.

Here are some ways you can learn to keep your routine without the hassle.

Hang a routine reminder up.

If need help remembering the routine and want to teach your budding toddler to follow the routine at the same time (so you don’t have to nag) I recommend using our routine cards (shown below) or something similar you can whip up at home.

You hang them up in the appropriate room (bedroom for morning routine, bathroom for bath routine, kitchen fridge for mealtime routine, etc.) and then use them to help your child learn independence.

Set alarms around the house or on your phone.

While you don’t need to live and die by the clock, setting your phone, watch, or a timer will help you keep aware of routine transitions.

We can often get so wrapped up in what we’re doing we forget and we’re an hour or two past nap time and now they’re having trouble going down.

I set alarms on my phone that show on my watch and this works for us.

Practice.

As with anything, if you want something to work then work it. Keep pushing what you’ve decided to do.

If it doesn’t work then change it up a bit and keep going. Move forward.

I assure you 100% that a routine will work if you keep at it.

Sources:

The Tried-And-True 1 Year Old Sleep Schedule

Here’s a 1 year old sleep schedule to get your baby on the right track to calmer nights and days. One year olds go from 2 naps to 1 nap and are more active and awake during the day. If you want to make sure your 1 year old takes a good long nap and goes to bed well at bedtime, this post will help. If you haven’t tried this alongside sleep training, now’s a good time to start.

1 year olds…

Whew… they’re hard.

They are mobile and they like packing and unpacking everything. You become a tired mama watching their every move and you’ve gotta be hyper-vigilant because they want to eat LEGOs and whatever they can grab out of the trash can.

I had 5 kids in 5 years… I know.

Napping and sleeping also get a tad trickier in this year of baby’s life as well.

This is when you drop the morning nap, lengthen the afternoon nap, and baby is still not as sleepy as they used to be.

Also, they aren’t falling asleep in the high chair anymore.

Unless they’re super overtired, of course.

1 Year Old Sleep Schedule Considerations

Here are some considerations for you as you navigate a routine with your 1 year old.

Read: Foolproof Baby Sleep Tips — Routines, Habits & Strategies

Early 1 Year Old Schedule – With 2 Naps

Baby will begin transitioning from 2 daily naps – morning and afternoon – to one afternoon nap during the 12 to 18 month age range.

This is generally a gradual process – the weaning from the morning nap – and you can look for a few things to be sure your baby is ready.

Baby may not have all of these, but you’ll recognize the signs if you pay attention.

Signs baby is ready to begin weaning the morning nap:

I go into it in great detail in this post, When Babies Go To One Nap (A Step-By-Step Guide), but here’s a quick recap.

Morning naps remain long and the afternoon nap shortens, leaving baby quite tired at bedtime.

Baby takes longer to get to sleep for either the morning or the afternoon nap. He doesn’t need two long full naps every single day.

Baby will take a morning nap as usual, but “fight” the afternoon nap.

When you’re out and about in the morning, baby is able to stay up quite well but then flags considerably around lunchtime, perhaps even refusing food.

Baby and mom with a 1 year old sleep schedule

Read: The Crucial Elements Of A Rock Solid Toddler Schedule

A sample 1 year old sleep schedule looks like this.

7:00 am – Wake up, eat breakfast, play
9:30 am – Nap
10:45 am – Wake up, play
12:00 pm – Lunch, play
1:30 pm – Nap
3:30 pm – Wake up, snack, play
5:30 pm – Dinner
6:00 pm – Bath, wind down, family time
7:30 pm – Bedtime

Baby sleeping with a 1 year old sleep routine.

Mid 1 Year Old Schedule – Dropping The Nap

If baby has shown many of the above signs, you know it’s time to get to work dropping the nap. After you’ve done that you’ll tackle the 1 nap schedule, which may take a bit to get used to.

For the first year of baby’s life he’s had a morning nap and enjoyed it, so the key is to watch baby’s cues.

Baby might be okay to drop the nap cold turkey, but most babies will need a transition period as they learn to stay awake until their early afternoon snooze.

Below you’ll find tips to help you drop the morning nap.

Note: you don’t need to do them all, but choose what works best for you and baby.

Read: Bossy Baby? Being responsive without creating a tyrant toddler!

A No-Fuss Guide To Sleep Training (With Printable!)

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

How to drop the morning nap:

Push back the normal morning nap 15 minutes later, waking baby at the same time as normal.

Put baby down for morning nap at the same time, but wake him up before he would normally wake. For example, if he normally sleeps 1.5 hours, wake him up after 1 hour.

Take baby out in the morning during nap time and keep baby awake. When you get home, feed baby an early lunch, then put him down to sleep at an “in between time.” So, instead of 9:30 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. nap times, for example, keep baby awake in the morning then put him down at 12:00 p.m. Note how long he’s able to sleep for that nap, it may be shorter and thus you’ll have to move up bedtime.

one year old in pack and play during nap time and 1 year old sleep routine.

Let baby sleep only 15 minutes to 30 minutes in the morning nap, then put baby down to an afternoon nap at 1:00 p.m., directly after lunch.

Baby may take a few months to fully drop the morning nap. If you try to drop the morning nap and baby is exhausted by early evening, then keep a short morning nap as part of the routine until he’s fully ready.

If baby is having trouble taking an afternoon nap (because they’re not quite tired enough) then move it back slightly. This will help them to get some sleep in the afternoon so they’re less fussy and irritable in the evenings as they transition.

A sample 1 year old nap schedule while dropping nap might look like this.

7:00 am – Wake up, eat breakfast, play

9:45 am – Nap

10:30 am – Wake up, play

12:00 pm – Lunch, play

1:30 pm – Nap

3:30 pm – Wake up, snack, play

5:30 pm – Dinner

6:00 pm – Bath, wind down, family time

7:30 pm – Bedtime

Older 1 Year Old Sleep Schedule – With 1 Nap

So… around 18 months baby will likely be ready to stop taking the morning nap.

This is both freeing and nerve-wracking.

Freeing because you aren’t tethered to being at home every morning so baby can sleep, but nerve wracking because it’s hard to find things to do to fill all that new time with baby.

Luckily, babies need to play, not be entertained. Here are some things to consider as you drop the morning nap completely.

For a few weeks you may need to have the afternoon nap time moved up slightly. Not so early baby gets used to napping at 11:00 a.m. (and thus waking so early in the afternoon they struggle to be happy as bedtime nears), but 12:00 p.m. or 12:30 p.m. then gradually moving nap time back to around 1:00 p.m. in 15 minute increments.

Expect baby’s afternoon nap to lengthen, but it may take a while. Afternoon naps can be as long as 3 or even 3.5 hours once they’re in the swing of them, but they may start out shorter.

Be sure baby is well fed (very well fed) right before nap. Milk and solids and finger food (whatever baby eats) right before nap help baby’s tummy to stay full which makes for deeper and sounder sleep.

If baby wakes up after 45 minutes, don’t rush right in. Give baby time to go back to sleep on their own, they usually will.

Smiling baby with 1 year old sleep routine.

Read: How to Get All Your Kids To Nap At The Same Time

A sample 1 year old schedule with 1 nap might look like this.

7:00 am – Wake up, eat breakfast, play

9:45 am – Outside exploring

10:30 am – Independent play time, family time, errands

12:00 pm – Lunch, play

1:00 pm – Nap

4:00 pm – Wake up, snack, play

5:30 pm – Dinner

6:00 pm – Bath, wind down, family time

7:00 pm – Bedtime

Bedtime Tips For 1 Year Olds

Bedtime can be quite harrowing for little ones.

It gets easier as they get older and are able to put themselves to bed on their own, but if baby is overtired it can be stressful.

Here are some tips to keep bedtime shenanigans to a minimum.

When in doubt, put baby to sleep a bit early. Earlier bedtimes are always better than later ones in terms of quality of sleep.

Avoid over-stimulation in the hour prior to bedtime. Choose a wind down routine that serves your family and stick with it. Baby will get used to the positive sleep associations and not fight sleep.

Reading is a great way to help baby calm down. Even if baby won’t sit still and fidgets, it’s a great way to inspire a love of reading and expand their vocabulary.

Use white noise. This is both a positive sleep association and drowns out the noise of older siblings.

Read These While You’re At It

Baby Bedtime: 4 Essential Elements To Success

Wind-down Routines Guaranteed to Help Your Baby Sleep

Foolproof Baby Sleep Tips — Routines, Habits & Strategies

Sleep issues that come up for 1-year-olds

There are some particular sleep struggles that you may find when you’re figuring out your 1 year old’s sleep schedule. It can be all roses and snores and sweet dreams… and then All Of A Sudden.

1-year-olds can have erratic days that throw you off schedule

What can happen is this: your little one doesn’t nap well and gets overtired. In an effort to prevent overtiredness (this cycle is a doozy) you decide to put your 1 year old down early for bedtime.

This is a good decision, honestly, but it can then mean your toddler does some early waking. Which can mean that the morning nap is very restorative. And this can result in a shorter afternoon nap, since 1 year olds drop that morning nap at some point.

Days can get off schedule. Moms can try and compensate for the tiredness by moving naps up or back. And doing the same to bedtimes. And this can cause a lot of stress.

Solution: Try and keep your 1 year old’s sleep schedule even if your toddler is tired. Move things up 15 minutes here or there, sure, but don’t change every day to try and track what is happening to your toddler.

Because your toddler is probably trying to track what is happening with the schedule.