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Discouraged, Mama? This 5 Second Tip Will Help Turn Your Day Around

If you’re feeling like a truly discouraged mom right now, this mindset shift will help you to feel more positive, joyful, and content.

There I was, 11 weeks pregnant. Haggard. Worn out.

Tired and nauseous.

The kids had watched too much TV, the house was a mess, I had no clue if we had food to eat for lunch, much less dinner. And I just didn’t care.

I couldn’t care.

I felt so physically ill, mentally stressed, and completely overwhelmed that I was such a failure as a mom that I couldn’t even think about more than just getting through the day.

Truthfully, I was such a discouraged mom I felt I couldn’t even consider thinking about “solutions.”

pregnant discouraged mother holding her belly

Even though I knew this was a result of pregnancy, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d morphed from a productive woman into a sloth like couch potato who was doomed to ruin my children.

It was in this moment, and moments like these, that I found encouragement in the only way I knew how.

By reminding myself of this truth…

Life is like a video, not a photograph.

One moment does not define your life, it is made up of a huge string of moments.

You might be a discouraged mom today, and an over-the-moon mom tomorrow.

Read: Mom Morning Routines That Bring Sanity & Order To Your Days

Encouraging Strategies For Discouraged Moms

It’s not always easy to get out of that moment when we know we’re not living up to who we are or what we want to happen in our homes, but here’s how we can do it.

If you are deep in overwhelm and need to brainstorm to Get Out then try this overcoming overwhelm packet. It’ll lift your spirits as you work through it in your quiet time!

Focus on the average of your days, not one bad day

Just as you are a combination of body parts to make a whole, the entirety of your actions make up your character. Your knees aren’t as pretty as your eyes, but together they all function.

You may not be perfect at one thing, but you surely make up for it in other areas. You may not always cook a healthy dinner, but you do regularly and try to limit junk food.

Of course, you may yell on occasion, but overall you are a positive mother who affirms her children. When you’re feeling like a discouraged mom remember, no mother never yells.

You are your average, not one isolated moment.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

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Keep a long term perspective

There are seasons that are harder than others. Pregnancy, newborn phase, job loss, moving home, relationship struggles, and loss of a loved one are examples.

You will often feel discouraged during these times.

You won’t always be able to respond perfectly in every scenario and sometimes life’s stressors are more than you can cope with at once in your own strength.

Remember, cliche phrase that it is, this too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Accepting your discouraged feelings without judging them

Covering up what you feel won’t make you feel better.

Saying “It’s not so bad, I don’t mind the house a mess, chaos is fine.” when it’s not true won’t make you feel better.

You won’t feel better because – to you – it’s not true. A more honest and effective phrase is

“The house is a mess, it bothers me, but it won’t be like this forever. I can cope for a time.”

It’s not allowing a pity party nor is it minimizing the failure or frustration you’re feeling.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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Bounce back

This was actually the best advice I received pre-marriage. From my hairstylist who did my updo for the wedding.

Bounce back.

Acknowledge some days don’t go as planned.

Be honest with yourself about your needs.

Admit unhappiness. Not about your whole life, but about certain situations.

And then get up and bounce back.

Or, if you can’t yet get up, admit that it’ll take a bit to get up but that you will do what it takes when the time is right.

Sources:

A Calm Down Trick That Works Wonders

This calm down trick will help even the most hyper and wild toddler calm down and rest. Keep this tool in your hat with your little one.

The day started much like any other. Two of my sons (3 and 2 years old at the time) were getting on each other’s nerves. They struggle to play together since they want the same exact toy.

Namely, whatever toy the other one has.

My daughter was probably bossing them around loudly, as she is wont to do, and my little crawler was moving around being perfect since he couldn’t speak and therefore had no attitude.

Making him highly cuddle-able….

Finally, the noise got too much and I’d had it Up To Here. Then…

A lightbulb moment of genius.

I told the kids we were going to have “relax time” and that it was going to be fabulous. We’d calm down, get some Peace and Quiet, and a bit of relaxing rest.

I talked it up positively and pretty soon they thought it was a good idea. We’ve never looked back.

A Calm Down Trick: “Relax Time”

This is great for toddlers, preschoolers, and even elementary aged kids.

Get some books

First, to help get them to cooperate, I ask them to pick out a few books they’d like to read. If I choose their books it never works as well.

They each get three or four (or more if they are enthusiastic) and go to their seats. Sometimes choosing a seat is a slight battle, but quietly we get seated. I get a book and sit down too!

Read: The Best Christian Children’s Books

Read or browse quietly

There are no strict rules here, except that we want to look at our books and have some quiet time. We are all still in the same room together so there’ll be occasional comments, but if they get too chatty I’ll shush them.

In fact, they often shush each other.

I will intersperse phrases like “Oh, it’s so nice and relaxing to put up our feet, isn’t it?”

I really ham it up. Ham works.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

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Our rule: only get out of your seat to get another book

Sometimes they like to push the envelope and browse their books super fast so they can go get another. As long as they are quiet and not disturbing the rest of us, I ignore their games.

Soon, they are actually interested in a book and calmed down. Aside from pottying, they can’t just leave “relax time” cause they feel like it. I’ve actually read a few chapters of a book at once during this time.

Read: Books To Decompress A Stressed Mama

Use a timer

I’ve talked a lot about how timers are wonder workers, and this case is no exception. A timer is handy if children are reluctant to start something they aren’t super excited about.

By saying, “I’m setting the timer for x minutes and then we’ll do y,” you gain cooperation much more peacefully.

Next time the kids are going nutso and you are losing it and you need some order and quiet… try “relax time.” You’ll be amazed!

Connection & Culture

13-18, 6-12

No-Drama Screen Wean

Cutting back on screens shouldn’t feel like a battle royale. This workshop gives you a simple, realistic plan to wean your kids off devices—without meltdowns, whining, or “I’m bored” on repeat. Because screen time limits should feel doable, not dreadful.

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The Importance Of Life Skills For Kids (With Printables By Age!)

The importance of life skills can’t be understated. Here are life skills for toddlers, preschoolers, kids, and social skills and activities.

When you’ve got little kids, this idea of “life skills” can be daunting.

You feel like… my toddler’s only skills are destrying the house and refusing to eat vegetables.

That’s how we’re moving now.

You feel all this pressure to teach them things and then you realize your 6 year old can’t tie his own shoes because, really, he never had any shoes with shoelaces until those baseball cleats showed up.

a woman and son on the kitchen floor folding laundry

This is when we back up. Release the guilt and stress and whatever else… and say… we’re just gonna start with the basics.

We’re not going to imagine them 35 still living at home unable to work the washing machine. No, we are not going to jump to Bad Scenarios in our head.

As is a mantra around here – and definitely when teaching life skills – we will dive in and just do Something. Something is infinitely better than Nothing and Everything was always impossible so now Something is the new standard.

With me?

Okay.

The Importance Of Life Skills

It is important our kids know how to take care of themselves, of course, so let’s dive in!

child learning life skills at home in an activity

First, Essential Skills Everyone Needs To Know

So let’s first talk about basic life skills people of all ages need to know. Then we’ll dive into more specifics.

I am describing these things with respect to little kids, okay, but you’ll be able to apply it to adults.

Basic hygiene | This includes brushing teeth, washing or showering one’s self, wiping, washing hands, etc.
Self care | Taking clothes off, putting clothes on, brushing hair, putting on shoes, tying shoe laces
Life management | Saving money, paying bills, preparing food, working, etc.
Environment Organization | Cleaning, tidying, washing clothes, maintaining room/home

Life Skills For Toddlers

These little precious bundles of joy. Hopefully you’re on a good toddler schedule and they can follow it without nagging.

You’ll have much fewer toddler tantrums if you have a good bedtime routine and some basic disciplines in place.

Here are some life skills (and some self care skills) your little ones can do.

Putting clothes in laundry basket
Putting toys away in toy basket
Brushing teeth
Combing hair
Dusting (with a feather duster)
Going potty on their own (for early potty trainers)
Washing face and hands
Feeding one’s self
Clearing place at the table after dinner
Helping to set table (non breakable things)

Read: Chores 2 and 3 Year Olds Can Do On Their Own

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Family Tidy Routines

This workshop will help you build a simple 15-minute daily routine that fits into real life—so the house stays (mostly) clean and the kids finally learn to help. Because a clean home is a team effort, not a one-mom show.

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Life Skills For Preschoolers

Preschoolers are old enough to do a lot of things.

They are now potty trained, able to communicate much more freely, and are on a more free daily routine.

Preschoolers are also able to do quite a few chores well and are much more independent than toddlers. You may be experiencing more defiance than before, but you’ll all get there.

Bringing in groceries from car
Setting the table
Clear place after snacks and mealtimes
Prepare their own snack
Wiping table and counter tops
Folding towels
Washing hands
Brushing teeth
Making bed
Putting on and taking off clothes
Using the potty
Swimming (this is a neat trick if you own a pool)
Vacuuming
Sweeping (may need help with dustpan as they build the scooping skill)

Read: 7 Phrases To Encourage Independence In Toddlers & Preschoolers

Life Skills For Kids (Early Elementary And Up)

Here are things you can begin teaching your kids aged 5 and up. Really, you can probably teach them earlier if you have keen pupils.

By this age children are fairly independent in their personal self care and hygiene needs, although you still may have to do quite a bit of reminding.

Gathering and taking out trash
Cleaning sinks and counter tops
Cleaning toilets
Loading and unloading dishwasher
Pumping gas (my 7 year old son pumps our gas safely)
Washing clothes, transferring to dryer, folding, then putting clothes away
Understanding how clocks and time works
Ordering at restaurants, speaking politely to employees (restaurants, cashiers, clerks, store assistants, etc.)
Packing lunches
Cooking simple meals
Clean mirrors
Iron
Wipe cabinets
Sweep / mop

Read: 5 Things You Think Your Kids Can’t Do — That They Can

Teaching Social Skills

This is where we help our kids learn the socially acceptable rules in our own culture.

Every country has its own rules (bowing vs hand shake vs cheek kiss, etc.) so teaching our kids how to handle themselves socially will help them develop social confidence.

Greeting an adult
Greeting another child
How to ask a child or group of children if they want to play (or if he can join their play)
Sharing
Listening to another child without interrupting
Asking polite questions
Making eye contact
Saying “please” and “thank you”
Learning proper contact / distance that makes others comfortable
How to know if something is considered “rude” or not (i.e. correcting strangers, saying you don’t like food another cooked, etc.)

Read: How To Train Your Kids To Manage Their Introvert/Extrovert Tendencies

Connection & Culture

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Manners in a Disconnected World

Equipping parents with a simple, consistent approach to teaching and reinforcing good manners so that their child naturally incorporates polite behavior into daily life.

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Life Management Skills

These are what I refer to more as informational or knowledge based skills that will helpful navigate a wide range of activities.

Learning their phone number
Knowing how to call 911
Memorizing their address
How to ask a stranger for help
How to use a phone (or cell phone) to call 911 even if it’s locked
Learning how to count money

Read: What To Do If You Lose Your Child In Public

child learning money management skills, counting money

Checklist (Printable By Age)

Here is a free printable for you with all the life skills shown above, by age, so you can check them off as you address them with your littles!

15 Ways to Keep Kids Busy When You Need to Get Stuff Done

Ever just need to get some junk done without the kids screaming at your feet? Here are ideas on how to keep kids busy so you can get things done.

“Hold on for one minute, please” I told the lady on the phone, “let me go to the other room.”

As I closed the door to drown out the screams, I covered my ear with my hand and said…

“Okay, what was it you wanted to know?”

She needed my insurance information, birth dates, and other detailed things that required concentration.

girl sitting with her cat and reading a book

With one part of my brain on the phone and the other part on the flailing screaming children on the other side of the wall, I carried on. I secretly hoped the phone lady had kids, but hey.

If she didn’t… well… what can I say?

Kids are loud. The end.

Sometimes you need to get things done

We spend much of the day being present with our kids, meeting their needs, and working our routine. We want to give them all individual time and love and attention and this is well and good.

But there are sometimes, many times in fact, when we need our kids occupied so we can take care of business. Business might mean cooking, cleaning, making an appointment, sending an important email, or having a face to face conversation with a guest.

At times we can let our children mill about while we do this, but other times we need them Quiet and Occupied.

We need full concentration.

This is easier said than done. After the above incident I needed to pull out the stops when I had business to take care of. I could no longer just expect my kids to be quiet, I needed to set that situation up for success.

Read: Indoor & Outdoor Toddler Climbing Toys (To Help Get That Energy Out!)

Here are situations in which we need to pay attention:

important phone calls
doctors’ visits or waiting rooms
a household project
short work from home bursts
necessary household chores

There are others, but you get the idea. REAL LIFE must happen even with our precious babies, toddlers and preschoolers.

While we can set ourselves up for success by giving our kids things to occupy them, it’s also important to note these are also opportunities for children to learn self-control and the ability to wait.

It’s hard, but it’s worth it.

15 Ways to Keep Kids Busy When You Need to Get Stuff Done

Book Time | If your kids like books, this will be a snap. Ask each child to take a seat on the chair, couch, or their bed (wherever is convenient) with some books and to read them quietly. This is a great time to look at picture books as well. This also works as a good calm down trick.
“Give mommy a minute” | Teach what it means if you need a minute to do something. Before it’s a necessity, explain you may go away for a few minutes to another room, but you’ll return. Use that helpful phrase regularly and they’ll catch on.
Sitting still | Sitting quietly does not come naturally to children. When you think about it, have regular practice times at home where you require the kids to sit quietly in a chair or on the couch for a few minutes at a time. This self-control will come in handy later.

Connection & Culture

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Manners in a Disconnected World

Equipping parents with a simple, consistent approach to teaching and reinforcing good manners so that their child naturally incorporates polite behavior into daily life.

Start Now

Independent Play | If I know I need 30+ minutes to myself to concentrate, I will do it when my children are in independent play. This means they’re in a safe place on their own playing by themselves with age appropriate toys. This is a great way to keep kids busy.
“Shhhh” | Children 18 months and older will understand that “shhh” means they are not to talk. Explain that when you say “shhh” there is no talking until you give the signal. This applies for the phone, an in person convo, the drive through, doctor’s office, wherever.
Creative Toys | Some toys encourage more focus than others. Break out the LEGO, Duplo, blocks, or Lincoln Logs. Whatever type of toy your children enjoy that captivate them for longer than a few minutes are a good way to keep them occupied and quiet.

More ways to keep kids busy

Screen time | Instead of turning on the TV when everyone starts acting naughty, use screen time purposefully, like when you need a few minutes silence.
Backyard | If you have a fenced in yard or are far from roads, let them at it.
Snacks | Giving kids a snack will help them focus on the task – eating – and help alleviate any blood sugar or hunger related meltdowns. With a fuller belly they can handle being made to wait.
“After this we’ll…” | Much like adults, children need something to look forward to. If you need them to remain quiet for 30 minutes in a waiting room, give them incentive. Not a bribe, but incentive. “After this appointment we’ll go to the park” or “As soon as we’re done we’ll zip in the car and have a singing party!” Help take their focus off the wait and onto what’s next.

blocks and trains, how to keep kids busy

These are easy!

Busy bags | Appointments and the like mean you don’t know exactly how long you’ll need to be out. By having a few busy bags you can whip out in a jam, the kids may not even mind the wait. Busy bags were literally invented to keep kids busy, don’t have them out all the time, just when you need it.
Make it routine | If you need an hour a day to work, put it into your routine so your children know what to expect. You’ll be amazed how well children adapt to something they know is coming. We use printable routine cards to help us keep track of what happens when.
Coloring | Older children might enjoy having a pocket coloring book and pens for public or their box of crayons and an art pad at home. My daughter will draw for hours if she’s in the mood, and this is a great activity for her when I need concentration.

Connection & Culture

13-18, 6-12

No-Drama Screen Wean

Start Now

Set the timer | If your children feel like they never get enough of “you” they’ll hang on to your leg. If you set the timer for “them time” and then set the timer for “business time” this will help you make things happen. This may mean time for you to pay bills, make phone calls, or work at the computer. Kids do well when they know the beginning and ending so believe me that the timer is a mom’s best friend.
Involve them | This seems counter-intuitive since you want to get it done alone, but if you’re able to teach your children how to help you (especially if it’ll pay dividends for years to come) involve them.

But back to my screaming phone call story…

I walked out of the room to some teary faced toddlers and preschoolers.

I got some good cuddles (which are good for their brains, FYI).

Then, I told them, “Next time, we’ll do this better, okay?”

Surviving Time Change Disruptions with Babies and Toddlers

The time change can cause sleep issues with babies and toddlers, getting them off their routines and causing them to wake up early or stay up late.

The TIME CHANGE…

Dum dum dum…

“Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change.” Thomas Hardy

It’s a common thing, being bothered by the change. Pre-motherhood it is only vaguely uncomfortable, but with children it can be truly disruptive.

Whether you are a go with the flow personality type (the Calm + Steady and Fun + Energetic) or lean toward planning and preparation (the Confident + Take Charge and Strong + Deliberate) it’s a good idea to have a basic game plan in place for the sake of your lovely offspring. It’s tough on them too!

If you’re serious about going through the time change without having crying screaming babies for a week or two, I’d suggest using a daily baby log for a while until it passes.

Option #1 – Start Preparing a Week Ahead Of The Time Change…

Many mothers prefer to gradually shift their schedule over a week until the time change occurs. This means that on the day or so after the time has changed, they’re already back on schedule.

➡️ You might do this shift in 15 minutes or so per day.

So for a normal bedtime of 7:00 pm before the SPRING time change, you may do the following:

Tuesday night: 6:45 pm bedtime
Wednesday night: 6:30 pm bedtime
Thursday night: 6:15 pm bedtime
Friday night: 6:00 pm bedtime
Saturday night 6:00 pm bedtime
Sunday night: 7:00 pm bedtime (adjusted to the new time change)

If you prefer to do it gradually, this will work.

The children may be off kilter slightly throughout the week and their morning wake times will also need to begin adjusting backwards, but as soon as the actual weekend comes you’ll be nearly set.

Boundaries & Behavior

0-5, 6-12

Goodnight Bedtime Battles

This workshop will give you a simple, sanity-saving bedtime system that actually works—one that helps your kids wind down, fall asleep without endless stalling, and stay asleep (so you can finally get some rest).

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How to shift the schedule, another example

Choose a gradual goal (often works best for young children who are prone to overtiredness) of 15-minute increments. So, if your child normally sleeps until 7am but will now, after the clocks fall back, wake up at 6am, make 6:15am your goal for the first morning. The next morning, 6:30am is your new goal, then 6:45, then 7am by day 4.

This means DO NOT start the day by getting baby up, getting breakfast, etc. right when they wake up. Leave them in the dark, quiet room until the set wake-up time for that day. I know this will feel hard, but the alternative is starting their day at the (new) 6am time and being stuck there forever! (Only slightly exaggerating.) Light, food, and social interaction set our bodies’ internal clocks, so avoid those things until the new start time.

You can also start this shift the night before. Push bedtime out by 15-60 minutes on the night before, depending on your child’s age. For babies, we recommend going with smaller increments, for older kids, they can likely handle 30-60 minutes, which may help the adjustment go more quickly.

Let your kid stay up a bit past their bedtime – but not too much. You don’t want to keep them up 2 hours past bedtime and throw a bunch of overtired hormones into the cocktail of sweets and sleep deprivation. But do push it a little bit, and then apply the strategies for morning to continue the later shift.

Or Go Cold Turkey The Day After The Time Change

If you, like me, are a “cold turkey” type of person, then you can wait until the day after the time change and carry on your baby routine, toddler routine, preschooler routine, or school routines as normal.

➡️ Your children will still be slightly off, but they will gradually adjust the week after the time has changed.

If you are home with all of your children, this will not necessarily disrupt your everyday routine as much as it does for children who must get up for school or daycare.

Cold turkey means that you do breakfast, lunch, dinner, naps and bedtime at the same time (by the clock) as you’ve always done. This will mean their little metabolisms and circadian rhythms aren’t synced with your routine as they were the week before, but they will get there. They will!

Either way, adjusting will happen. You can choose to do it beforehand or after, it’s all up to you.

Don’t let your child decide the new start time of the day

The number one mistake most parents make with the time change on that first morning when the clocks have fallen back and your child wakes up at the butt-crack of dawn, is to get them up for the day right when they wake up.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

Start Now

Practical Considerations When Helping Babies & Toddlers With The Fall Or Spring Time Changes

The weeks leading up to the time change, the sun will come out earlier and your children may wake up before you’d like. Even if you’re doing all you can to get your kids to sleep later, it’s the sun’s fault.

Don’t take the blame!

The same things that will help keep your children well-rested and in their rooms during time change as during the rest of the year, but here are a few things you may want to consider.

Extra black out blinds | Here are some that are temporary and can be used multiple times in different rooms.
Stay in Bed Until Clock | This clock helps teach your child when it’s okay for them to get out of bed and begin their day.
Eye masks | My daughter loves using her eye mask to keep light out. I would only recommend this for preschool age and up, but it helps with naps as well.

Depending on whether it’s fall or spring, I get some of these for the bedroom windows or this interesting clock to keep your kids in bed.

How The Time Change Affects Eating

This is MAJOR!

The reason time changes can throw babies and toddlers for a loop is because their bodies acclimate to the times at which they eat. Do you eat lunch at the same time every day? Isn’t that the exact time the body sends your brain hunger cues?

Same with babies and toddlers. For a few days your baby or toddler will still be ready to eat at the pre-time change time. If you normally serve lunch at 12, after the time changes they will feel hungry at 11 (or 1) for a few days.

I’d encourage you to fill them up at correct meal times, offer a nice healthy snack, then try to drag out mealtimes until the new time. It might not seem like it matters, except it does for the next reason….

Time Change Affects Sleep In Babies & Toddlers

Just as our bodies get used to eating at certain times, so they do with sleeping. In fact, your kids might wake early, sleep late or find it hard to get to sleep. These are to be expected and can be waited out.

Try to keep your same schedule as before (but on the new time) and gradually work towards being super consistent. For babies or young toddlers with high sleep needs, try to prevent overtiredness and put them down early if needed.

Babies are likely to wake early from naps whether because they’re used to waking at that time or because they’re hungry earlier than normal. This is okay. Again, try to wait to feed until the desired schedule time while making sure their needs are met.

Utilize light exposure to help through the time change

This is important first thing in the morning – after 7am – to help set their clock. Natural light exposure will also be helpful again in the evening, helping a fussy kid make it a little longer to a reasonable bedtime.

Keep the Course and Give it Time

Every time we travel and the kids have jet lag, or the time changes and we feel jet lagged, I remind myself that things will get back to normal. And they always do. If your schedule works for you now, keep it after the time change.

It may take up to a week until everyone acclimates to the new times without eating or sleep disruptions, but you’ll get there!

Here’s hoping the kids all sleep a little later next month. 🙂

The Baby Sleep Myth That Backfires (And Makes Overtired Babies!)

Baby sleep problems are one of the hottest topics among moms of small children. You’re a tired mom, and when you don’t get enough sleep you’re an angry mom. Not to mention how your poor baby is suffering.

Little babies are born doing nothing but sleeping, eating, and needing diaper changes.

After the initial postpartum recovery, it’s no big deal to go out and about since the baby will probably fall asleep in the stroller or car seat anyway. And so, you carry on as is.

And so you run errands.

Go to the park.

Go to the mall.

Keep appointments during naptime.

Bring the baby to the cafe.

And playgroups.

And bible studies.

Everywhere, essentially.

And soon you realize, the baby only sleeps in the stroller. Baby screams when you try to put her down to sleep in her crib.

Baby is tired, fussy, and whiny and you aren’t sure why. You thought that the more exercise or activity a baby gets, the more tired they will be, and, therefore, the better they will sleep.

➡️ The idea that wearing a baby out will help them sleep better is one of the biggest baby sleep myths.

Read: Tips For Swaddling Baby At Night

Wearing baby out doesn’t work…

In fact, wearing a baby out will make them sleep worse. The more tired babies are, the worse they sleep. The more tired they are, the harder it is to fall asleep.

Then, the more tired they get, the more they fight sleep. An overtired baby wakes up frequently through the night as they transition sleep cycle because they are uncomfortable.

On the contrary, a well-rested baby sleeps more. A well-rested baby goes down easier. A well-rested baby wakes less during the night.

So how do you know if your baby is sort of… worn out and overtired all the time?

Read: Why You’ve Got An Angry Baby – And What To Do

Common symptoms of an overtired baby:

Frequent fussiness
Sleeps very little during the day and has short naps
Fights going to sleep
Gets progressively fussier as the day goes on
Gets startled easily by things in its environment that bring it to tears
Frequently falls asleep at the breast, in the stroller or the car seat (after the first few months in which case this is very normal)
Finds getting to sleep difficult and wakes easily
Acts ready for bed at 5:30 or 6:00 pm
Wakes near midnight crying in an inconsolable manner

While you’re working on keeping baby from being overtired, you can use our daily baby logs to track what’s happening.

Read: Is Sleep Training a Baby Bad or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

How to help an overtired baby to sleep (and avoid over stimulation)

While you can’t avoid stimulating environments or tiredness completely, here’s how you can help prevent overtiredness.

Even if your environment is calming, babies will become overstimulated if they are overtired. So the key is to keep them well-rested.

Read: The Nap Trap- How to Deal with It and Not Resist It

Keeping a good routine prevents a baby from being overtired

When baby has regular naps and consistent bedtimes, they will not get overtired. Barring sickness or occasional routine deviations, keep a consistent routine.

Well-rested babies can cope with a late bedtime, a missed nap, or an overstimulating morning without becoming super fussy or irritable. After vacations or major routine deviations, babies are more fussy.

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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Related Reads:

Avoid screens and chaos right before bed

Avoid screentime for babies and early toddlers.

However, if you do allow screentime, don’t do it immediately before bedtime. This overstimulates baby and the wind-down process is longer and more difficult.

If they are watching something, 20 to 30 minutes before bed, either turn off the screen or remove them from the area so they can begin releasing the happy sleep hormone.

Have a good wind down routine in place

An essential part of the bedtime routine is the wind-down time. This is where you incorporate time into your routine that is just for getting calm.

This can include singing, rocking until drowsy (not until asleep if you want them to fall asleep on their own), reading a book, and sitting and cuddling in a dimmed room.

You’ll want to do a good part of the wind-down routine in your baby’s room, away from loud siblings or other disturbances. Turn on the white noise so they aren’t disturbed by toddler squeals, and then put the baby to bed.

Read: Foolproof Baby Sleep Tips — Routines, Habits & Strategies

Move up bed or naptime

Since we realize it’s a myth that wearing your baby out allows them to sleep better, the best way to help an overtired baby is to put them to sleep earlier.

If bedtime is normally at 8:00 pm but they are always Past the Point then, move bedtime up earlier. We wrongly assume putting them down earlier means they’ll wake earlier, but if they’re overtired the opposite is true.

Sleep begets sleep.

The more restorative sleep they have the more they will sleep.

Guard babies’ sleep to prevent overtiredness

This is a big one. I often see mothers out and about with their babies who are fussy. Now, babies get fussy and this is life.

But, if you’re having to pull out all the tricks to get them to sleep every day, and are standing around with blankets over your baby rocking them just so they get some shut-eye, they are overtired or have a sleep prop.

Read: Nightmares, Night Terrors, & Sleep Walking In Kids: Strategies For Relief

Of course, it’s only a problem if it’s a problem for you. Still, this type of thing can turn into a problem quickly.

Your baby needs, at least, one consistent nap a day, preferably more if they are still very small. It’s a very short season and teaching them to sleep early on will benefit them throughout their early years.

Guard their naps by staying home when they are tired, putting them to bed early even if it means taking a few minutes out of family time, or by declining an invitation that comes on the heels of two or three more that week.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

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Avoiding Overtiredness Recap

If baby is overtired, move nap time up so that baby will get get a chance to go to sleep before becoming more overtired.
When baby hasn’t napped well during the day, do a good wind down routine, then move your baby’s bedtime up 30 minutes or even an hour.
If you know baby doesn’t nap well in the stroller when you are out doing errands, time the outing so that when you get back to the house baby will be able to take a good nap.
Babies will fight sleep a lot more if they are super tired. They’ll even wake up around 11 or 11:30 p.m. at night (happened with all my babies!) if they’re exhausted. They may not want to feed, they are simply over-stimulated and having trouble getting back to sleep.
If your baby wakes at night and is over-stimulated, but not wanting food, you can do the Outdoor Trick. My husband would often take the babies outside and the cool night air would often soothe them. This would allow them to fall back asleep.
If you notice baby is in an overtired pattern, try staying home for a few days if you can to help baby settle.

You can do it, mama!

Sources:

Breastfeeding Techniques: Step-By-Step (With Pictures!)

Use these breastfeeding techniques (step by step) with pictures to make sure you have a good latch, baby is getting enough milk, and you are comfy.

When I was pregnant with my first child in Scotland, my midwife gave me a DVD about how to get baby to latch on.

A DVD!

I watched that video once and, never in all my years breastfeeding 5 babies, did I have a latching on problem. It was simply so helpful!

Read: Thoughts On Nursing From A Mom of 5

breastfeeding technique, how to get a good latch, step by step — This illustrations shows you a breastfeeding technique step by step how to get a proper latch with baby.

As the above picture depicts, you will aim your nipple at the roof of baby’s mouth.

Then you will not lean down to baby, but you will bring baby towards you.

This will position both you and baby for an easy latch on.

Breastfeeding Techniques – Step By Step Positions & Tips

Hopefully these images will help you figure out some positions that will work for both you and baby. At certain times of the day certain positions might work better.

You may use some in public, some at home, and some for night feeds.

Read: Breastfeeding Schedules By Month: From Birth to 1 Year

#1 – The Basic Cradle Hold While Sitting

breastfeeding positions, the cradle position image

This is the position you’ll often use during the day, with baby unswaddled, in a rocking chair, your couch, or a park bench. Or even if you have to feed in your car while you’re running errands with baby.

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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#2 – Holding baby with opposite arm while feeding

Similar to position 1, the cross cradle nursing position is sitting and using the opposite arm to hold baby secure.

First, this will work out your arm muscles (win win)! But, it’s good if you are more blessed up top and need a hand available to help secure your breast as you nurse.

#3 – Lying on back with baby nursing, positioned on top

the back lying breastfeeding position, step by step image

This is an excellent position if baby has reflux or you have a case of hyper lactation. Hyper lactation occurs when milk comes out so quickly baby struggles to drink it without choking or spitting up.

It’s also good if you have a newborn who tends to fall asleep all the time while nursing because he has to “work a little harder” to nurse this way.

Read: Newborn Feeding Schedules — All You Need To Know

#4 – Nursing baby while holding him tucked under, like holding a football

football breastfeeding position with picture

The football hold is similar to positions 1 and 2, but with a more snug and secure hold. This will be great if baby is swaddled or for night feeds when you want baby to remain mostly asleep while feeding.

Related Reads:

#5 – Sitting up with baby straddling one leg, nursing upright

australian hold breastfeeding position with image

I’ve gotta be honest… I lived in Australia and have never seen this one around in the streets, but it’s a great one for home.

This position works well if baby is old enough to hold themselves up a bit (3 months on) and, again, if baby tends to fall asleep while feeding.

You want baby alert while feeding so they get as much milk as possible and are then able to learn to settle themselves to sleep.

#6 – Lying down with baby feeding “upside down”

inverted side lying breastfeeding position step by step image

This isn’t as intuitive as some of the other positions, but is a great one to try if you become engorged or feel baby isn’t fully emptying the breasts while nursing.

This breastfeeding technique gives baby another angle and can help unclog any clogged ducts that may contribute (or have already contributed) to mastitis. I have fed from different positions and along with some other weird remedies, been able to get through mastitis without antibiotics.

#7 – Lying on side with baby positioned nearly upright feeding on the top breast

breastfeeding position, side lying cradle, technique

One of the best parts about nursing is getting away from the hustle and bustle of the family to spend time with baby. It’s hard to do that, but worth it.

This position allows you to lie down and get comfortable while baby feeds. It also keeps baby upright which is good if your little one struggles with reflux and, again, for the daytime when you want baby awake while feeding.

Read: 8 Reasons You Have A Whiny Baby — And Solutions

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

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#8 – Breastfeeding while lying on your side

breastfeeding position lying on side with image

This was my favorite nighttime feeding position for all 5 babies. If you cluster feed during the early evening hours and dream feed before midnight, this is likely the position you’ll be in a lot.

If baby is swaddled (and you buy a swaddle that zips from the bottom so you can feed baby while swaddled and change him without unswaddling him) then this position works well for night feeds. Baby remains swaddled and feeds while barely awake, meaning they re-settle quickly.

Related Reads:

How To Keep Your Milk Supply Up

how to increase your milk supply if you're nursing

If you are nursing your little one, here are some general rules of thumb to go by that will help you have a baby who feeds well, grows well and on time, sleeps well, and is generally agreeable.

Have your baby on an age appropriate routine so they don’t need to resort to crying to try and have their needs met.
Eat a healthy diet and exercise so you remain in a good mental state, which will translate down to your relationship with baby.
Teach baby how to sleep well from the beginning. If it’s already past that, it’s never too late to sleep train.
Get families with baby sleep times and baby bedtime rituals, these will help baby be calm while feeding and after.

Read: How To Know If Baby Is Getting Enough Milk

15 Common Parenting Behaviors That Weigh Kids Down In The Long Run

Here are some common parenting behaviors that can weigh kids down in the long run.

Love, acceptance, time and attention will make our children’s worlds go round.

They’ll feel part of something greater than themselves. They’ll be able to develop, age, and mature safely within secure boundaries knowing their parents have their best interests at heart.

Sometimes, in an effort to parent with our whole heart we often veer into territories that leave our kids with a lot of baggage.

Common Not So Helpful Parenting Behaviors

Trust me, you’re not alone if you have done some of these from time to time.

1. We tell them we wish they were the other gender

Under no circumstances should we communicate sadness or depression about our children’s gender. It’s one thing to think they were a certain gender or innocently hope for a boy or girl.

It is another to let those feelings fester and linger after birth and communicate them to your child.

Ineffective: “I really hoped you were a boy so we’d have at least one in the family.”
Effective: “I thought you were a little boy kicking around in there, but am so happy to have a girl like you!”

Read: Altered Dreams: Living with Gender Disappointment

2. We knowingly (or unknowingly) play favorites

In one class I was in of 45 adults, over half raised their hands to say growing up they knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that their parents had a favorite and they were not it.

It’s normal to get along more easily with some personalities and temperaments than others. It’s normal to have friction with our kids in certain seasons. It’s normal to feel more protective of some kids (those prone to illness or with special needs, perhaps).

Ineffective: “Why can’t you be like your sister?”
Effective: “You are unique in so many ways. I love you and am glad you are part of my family.”

3. We are present but absent

Being present but absent will present challenges for your kids nearly as much as being absent. If you or your husband are around, but ignore the kids, you communicate they aren’t worth your time.

They will find ways to communicate their desire to be seen, loved, and touched with you. Some of these behaviors may be pleasant, others not.

Ineffective: Always being busy doing your own thing in their presence without engaging.
Effective: “Mommy’s has something important to do for 5 minutes, and then you can have my undivided attention, okay?”

Read: How To Be A Present Parent Without Losing Your Marbles

Boundaries & Behavior

Loving Authority

Being in charge doesn’t mean being harsh or heavy-handed—it means being steady, clear, and confident. This workshop will help you understand what healthy authority really looks like. When you know how to show up as a secure, grounded leader, your kids feel safe, and everyone starts listening.

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4. We squash our kids’ feelings by interrupting, redirecting, or not being able to handle it

Our kids’ behavior and words will communicate how they feel, and we should support this. Emotions are not positive or negative, they are neutral. We all have them.

We must learn to control them, surely, but we should most definitely not stuff them down. It’ll just mean they explode all over the place later. This is especially true of children.

Ineffective: “Stop crying and whining. Just do what I say and quit fussing.”
Effective: “I see that you’re really upset and frustrated right now. There must be some way you can do this chore and still be happy!”

Read: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

5. We communicate rejection to our kids instead of acceptance

Whether a child feels accepted in his home is an indicator of whether he’ll want to communicate with you or whether he’ll seek out love and comfort elsewhere. We know feeling accepted brings higher levels of self-worth, so how do we show our kids acceptance?

We listen. We accept their personalities. We work with their strengths. We help them learn to respect boundaries and create their own. We make time for them.

Ineffective: “I don’t know why you always act like this. It makes it hard to be around you.”
Effective: “You seem a little frustrated right now, sit down and let’s figure out what’s going on.”

Read: The Wounded Spirit

6. We make them feel “never good enough”

We want our children to do their best. We want them to meet their potential and be flooded with confidence, self-worth and assurance they can make a difference in the world around them.

We do not, however, want them to feel that nothing they do is good enough. If you follow every praise with a “next time” or a “you could have done this” or a “yes, that was good BUT”… then we aren’t accepting their successes in the moment.

Ineffective: “You did a great job tonight during your game. You’ll do even better next time if you…“
Effective: “Great job tonight hustling and rebounding.” (Bring up your suggestions before the next game if need be, not during current praise).

Read: Rising Strong

Motherhood & Wellbeing

13-18, 6-12

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

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7. We try to be their friend instead of their parent

If parents don’t set boundaries, the child will be forced to set their own. These children are often called strong-willed when really they are self-directed. Directing their own lives since the parents have not shown up with their authority.

This type of parenting framework will lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-confidence because kids feel in control of situations they are not prepared to deal with.

Ineffective: Acting as though your 16-year-old is your best friend and confidant.
Effective: Finding a confidant your own age so you can have a healthy relationship (still full of communication and fun) with your 16 year old.

Read: Boundaries, Strong Willed Children, Oh My!

8. We give empty and ineffective praise

What exact behaviors you want to see more of. Saying “great job” “that’s awesome” and “you’re so smart” doesn’t actually tell the child much. They need to know what behaviors to repeat, and need to be praised for effort, not for factors outside of their control.

Ineffective: “Great job, smartie.“
Effective: “You put good effort into studying for that test and it paid off. ”

9. Raising children without life skills

Raising children to be capable and independent will set them up for success in life because they’ll be confident in their capabilities.

By giving your kids household chores (even 2 and 3 year olds) they’ll learn to contribute, take care of themselves, and feel more secure in their own place in the family.

Ineffective: Doing things for your children they are capable of doing on their own.
Effective: Train your children well, show emotional support and willingness to assist, and letting them take care of things themselves they are capable of doing.

Read: Life Skills For Kids By Age (With Printables!)

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

No Nag Chore Routines

Getting kids to do chores shouldn’t be a daily battle. Let me help you build a simple, age-appropriate system that teaches independence, teamwork, and responsibility—without constant micromanaging. Because a well-run home isn’t about doing it all yourself.

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10. Giving our kids’ what they want when they want it

What’s the difference between spoiling and spoiling rotten? Spoil your children with love, attention, and proper training. Love your child, but don’t spoil them with things.

Children will know if you’re buying them off, trying to get them to shut up, or trying to buy their love out of guilt. They won’t be able to articulate it, but they’ll have a feeling inside. Best to spoil them with the intangibles of life.

Ineffective: Giving them endless objects.
Effective: Giving them endless acceptance and love.

11. Misunderstanding the concept of unconditional love

Do you know what unconditional love is and what it isn’t? We must absolutely love our children to the core of our being and let them know it. But love isn’t just hugs, kisses, affection, and smiles.

Sometimes love draws boundaries. Sometimes love puts in place consequences. Love sometimes has to make long-term decisions that will make our children unhappy in the short-term.

Ineffective: Giving in to their demands in an effort to make them happy right now.
Effective: Being willing to risk your child’s unhappiness for their long term gain.

12. We parent in ways that prevent self-control from building

When developmentally appropriate and reasonable, we need to allow our children to build self-control. The same self-control that prevents a child from throwing their food all over the dining room will later help them sit still in class and pay attention.

Our children are capable of a great many things, including waiting, and it’s a gift to parent in a way that allows children the opportunity to experience all the joys and frustrations of delayed gratification in pursuit of a goal.

Ineffective: Failing to have family boundaries or family rules.
Effective: Having appropriate family rules that give your child a chance to learn self-control and follow through.

13. We unwittingly breed entitlement

The phenomenon of entitlement has now been laid bare. So what is it?

Expecting things we haven’t earned. Expecting positions we haven’t worked hard for. Expecting success when we didn’t put in effort. Expecting nice things when we don’t work for them.

We can encourage simple practices of thankfulness by sleeping with bread and by modeling gratitude, manners, and thankfulness. And by having our children learn associations between hard work and payoff, effort and reward.

Ineffective: Avoiding giving our children responsibility.
Effective: Having our children learn to work hard, be thankful, and take responsibility.

Read: Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World

14. We let our kids live in la-la land

It’s so important we protect our children from influences they aren’t yet able to process. It’s so important we nurture their spirits and hearts during development.

And it’s equally important we don’t shelter them in a way they don’t understand how the world works. Cause and effect and logical consequences are great lessons that can be taught age appropriately to children as they grow up.

Ineffective: Ignoring difficult questions your children ask you because they are hard to answer.
Effective: Seeking out appropriate advice or resources to explain difficult concepts to children like abuse, death, pornography, for example.

Growing Up & Life Transitions

6-12

Birds + Bees Blueprint

No more cringing or waiting for “the right time.” This workshop gives you a simple, step-by-step plan to talk about the birds and the bees in a way that’s age-appropriate, in line with your values, natural, and (finally) not awkward.

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15. We misunderstand the difference between protection and sheltering

None of us want anything bad to happen to our kids. At all. Ever.

There is a great responsibility on a parent to make sure our children are protected, and one we take very seriously. However, there’s a difference between protection and sheltering.

Protection provides age appropriate security. Sheltering prevents our children from learning necessary life lessons that will help them protect themselves in the future.

Ineffective: Failing to use real life age appropriate lessons to teach our children about the world.
Positive: Raising your children to be knowledgeable about life, firm in their foundation, and a light to the world.

Best Double Stroller For Irish Twins (And Other Essential Gear)

If you’ve got a baby right now and a baby on the way, you gotta have the right gear. Here are the best double strollers for irish twins.

My first two children are one year and a few weeks apart.

Just over the 12 month Irish Twin rule… but not quite 13 months. So I’m going to take the Irish Twins classification, okay?

When my second born child was born, my firstborn still couldn’t walk. I’m not joking. She wasn’t helping bring me diapers or cuddle the baby.

She was still a baby herself!

My Irish twins when they were both under 2, Skyping with me!

If this is you and you’re wondering what gear do you need, then look no further.

If you go out and about a lot running errands with your babies then a stroller will be a necessity and the right one will be the difference between having a pleasant time out or vowing never to leave the house again.

Read: The Ultimate Guide To Surviving Irish Twins In The Early Years

Double Stroller Options for Irish Twin Mamas

I’m going to go over the 3 main types and the pros and cons of each. I’ve had 2 of the 3 types and wish I’d had the third so with that knowledge – from a mama of [thrive_2step id=’19879′] 5 kids in 5 years [/thrive_2step] – let’s get cracking.

Older ones getting good use out of this stroller

Side By Side Double Strollers For Irish Twins

These strollers have places for two little ones side by side. Let’s dive into the pros and cons.

Pros of side by side double strollers:

Both babies can see forward without obstruction
These strollers are typically quite a bit cheaper than other double options
They are easy to fold open and close down
When babies are older they can be near each other to play
Easy, accessible, and fast to put the kids on and get moving

Cons of side by side double strollers:

These can work if you configure it safely and carefully, but aren’t really designed for infants so if you want a stroller you can begin to use immediately after giving birth to the second of your Irish twins, you may want to give this a pass.
Even though they are configured to fit through a doorway, Good Luck With That!
They’re wide which helps in places like Disney where you want to create a path of wide berth, but not so helpful on a sidewalk because people always have to walk off the path or around due to the width.
They take up a lot of room in the trunk.

double stroller parking for Irish twin mamas and everyone else

Tandem Double Strollers For Irish Twins

This is a second type of stroller you could use with your Irish twins. I have used this one as well and can testify to both its pros and cons.

Pros Of Tandem Double Strollers

The stroller is narrow and easy to get through doorways and on sidewalks without pushing everyone off.
It shelters the child in back a little bit and allows for good napping when you’re on the go.
You can find inexpensive ones.
This type of stroller grows with your little ones and will last until they’re 3 at least unless you have really tall kids.

Cons of Tandem Strollers

One child is sort of behind the shelter of the other. If you put the baby back there they have a better chance of sleeping, but a toddler will get annoyed.
Babies don’t do well in these if they are tiny unless you bundle them up tightly and prop things around them so they don’t slip. This is great when you are in the 2 under 2 stage, but not both under 1 stage.
The storage is limited in these because it’s fairly shallow and only underneath so if your purse is quite sturdy it’ll be hard to get it under there.
It doesn’t fold up too tight so if you have a smaller car it’ll be a struggle.

families walking with multiple strollers

Strollers With Seats, Infant Carriers That Are Sort Of Convertible For Irish Twins

This next time, my final type, are the kinds of strollers that are convertible like. With a spot for a toddler, and one for an infant seat, and then it morphs as they age.

Pros Of These Double Strollers

You can fit your toddler and baby in a seat together.
They are adjustable so you can change configurations based on your needs.
Strollers are super high quality due to their price points.

Cons Of These Strollers

Once baby is out of the infant seat, they are often useless.
They are extremely expensive if you aren’t going to be using it a lot.
They require a lot of learning how to do and undo and if you aren’t too mechanically inclined (like myself!) then they can be a tad tricky when you’re alone.

baby and toddler in tandem double stroller, for irish twins

If you’ve got little ones super close in age (or you’re about to) read my best advice for moms in your situation.

I’ve been there, mama, and you’re gonna love it.

Practical, Emotional, and Natural Tips To Help A Stressed Out Mama Cope

Inside: If you’re a stressed out mom then this will give you tips, ideas, and home remedies to help manage and even prevent some stress in your life.

It isn’t possible for us to remove all stressors from our lives.

Having children, cooking dinner, school pick up and drop offs… these things can cause us stress and tiredness. Sometimes that tiredness is proof of a life well lived.

But we’re not talking about good tired today, we’re talking about bad tired. The type that makes you want to pull your hair out, kick the wall, and run screaming away from your own life.

The kind of stress that can make you feel black rage in one moment then crumble and ugly cry the next.

Let’s be honest, this often happens in the newborn phase. Or when you’re heavily pregnant and emotional. Or when life is so busy there simply isn’t any time to empty the well of emotions we’re feeling.

a stressed out mom on vacation by pool — What we wish we was happening a few times a year, right?

Tips To Help Recover From Being A Stressed Out Mom

Imagine your emotions are like a house with a basement.

If you stuff your emotions, keep moving without allowing yourself to feel them, or honestly don’t even know what you are feeling… it’s like you are stuffing it all into your emotional basement.

Eventually, the basement will fill up and fill up and fill up until it starts coming out of the basement into the house.

This is when stress really takes hold. Our emotional basements (of anxiety, worry, anger, fear, etc.) start overflowing and disrupt our houses (lives).

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

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A stressed out mom lying her head on the table with a spoon and peanut butter

Since we can’t alleviate all stress and everything that is causing it, here are some basic day to day ways you can bring some much needed calm and relaxation.

Practical Tips To Help Stressed Moms Relax

Take five minutes alone. Put the kids in front of the TV, in their playpens, or cribs with some books and toys and go sit somewhere dark without your phone. Take a timer and just relax.
Have a stash of your favorite drink on hand so you can pour a cup. When the kids are occupied in their Quiet Time focus on drinking and how good it tastes and try not to think about your to do list.
Institute independent play time for your children each day.
Get up earlier than the kids, even for 20 minutes, and read your Bible, pray, or do something else relaxing not involving technology.

Read: Mom Morning Routines That Bring Sanity & Order To Your Days

Read a nice book on your favorite piece of furniture in the house. Or if you don’t have a favorite piece, create a cozy nook somewhere just for this purpose (book series mothers love).
Get a mother’s helper (or your husband who isn’t a babysitter) and go out! This is the ticket if you are an extrovert.
Go outside for some fresh air and sunshine.
Eat a guilty pleasure / comfort meal. If your fave isn’t healthy then don’t make it habit to comfort yourself, but occasionally indulging in a favorite makes it more special.
Get some hobbies. Here’s some hobbies for stay at home moms or hobbies for non-crafters.

Read: Strategies For Overwhelmed Moms Who Want To Escape Life

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

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Natural Remedies To Help Relax When You Feel Stressed Out

A warm bath. Detox baths will do more than just help you relax. Turn off the lights, light some candles and put 1 cup Epsom salts and 5 drops of your favorite oil in the bath. I use Lavender.

Face mask. Make your own face mask with this turmeric recipe. There are a lot of options with things you have around the house. It feels luxurious to give yourself extra attention.

Scented eye mask. Get an eye mask or eye pillow that you can scent with essential oils and use during rest times or before bed. A face mask or an ear plug can help you sleep deeper and longer.

Calming tea. Make a cup of chamomile tea (which is a mild sedative) and add Ylang Ylang, Lavender, or Chamomile essential oils or Valerian which is a mood stabilizer.

Diffuse. Essential oils are absorbed through the bloodstream so diffusing a calming essential oil or oil blend will help lower your stress levels from the inside out.

detox bath salts that stressed out moms can use for a bath

Tips To Relieve Emotional Stress

It might seem impossible but a key to helping feel better mentally is finding time for yourself in the everyday
Here’s how to wind down and recharge after a busy day
Honestly express your emotions and you’ll be amazed how much better you’ll feel
Call a friend who’ll let you vent your frustration, but who will then encourage you
Think about relational issues that are weighing you down and whether you need to forgive someone or ask forgiveness
Determine whether there’s a situation in your life that needs confronting, whether with a co-worker, friend or family member, and try not to brush it under the rug. That’ll just increase your stress!

Stressed Because Your Kids Aren’t Sleeping Well?

The newborn stage can be exhausting so here’s some tips to help your newborn sleep well
If you’re up with the kids all throughout the night you may have a case of the sleep props, so read sleep props and how to get rid of them
Also, if you’re up before dawn, you may need to learn how to encourage sleeping-in and longer naps
If you have a few kids who still nap, try to put them all down for a nap at the same time, this will give you much needed time to rest.

Hopefully some of these options resonated with you. But know, dear tired mom, that you are not alone!

We’re in a tiring season and if we play our cards right, in a few years we might get to sleep in and have our dear darlings bring us breakfast in bed 😉

Sources:

Some Must Have Potty Training Supplies… The Rest is Optional

Inside: Are you about to potty train your toddler? It’s an act of nature, but there are a few potty training supplies that make the whole thing go more smoothly.

I decided my daughter would get potty trained at 13 months. That’s when my son was going to arrive.

I read all about early potty training and how people in African trained their babies by 13 month sor so.

They did this because cloth diapers required a lot of water to clean and that was a luxury and if people in Africa could do it, why couldn’t I?

Hahahahahaha

I die laughing at my former self.

Needless to say, it didn’t work. Nor did it work a few months later when I was not prepared to “let accidents happen” and made her nervous. Soon enough, though, she figured it out and off she went.

I took a laid back approach with my second son and that worked out fine. I’m training my third son now. Again, we’re not making a huge fuss.

Each child will be different, and there are various approaches to take, but here are your absolutely essential Must Haves.

Psst… you may know it’s ready to start potty training if your little one is constantly fighting diaper changes.

Absolute Must Have Supplies for Potty Training

patience
a good attitude
a potty (or a good old fashioned toilet)
baby wipes (some come in a flushable variety which are great to help train your little ones to wipe which can be tricky at this age)
a step stool, depending on your child’s age and height
towels
a mattress protector (if you are attempting to potty train at night as well)
a travel potty if you’re in the car a lot and want to get more freedom from diapers in public too

Well, now that we got those out of the way… let’s talk about some of the other helpful things that make potty training simpler.

Read: The Trickiest Part of Potty Training And How To Overcome It

two toddlers getting potty trained sitting on the grass with potty training supplies

Helpful Tools for Potty Training

And now that we know what is absolutely essential, let’s talk about what helps move things along. I know some people say to “wait until your child is ready no matter the age” but most of us aren’t willing to wait until our 4 year old is ready.

We need things to move right along, particularly if we need to put them in care or preschool.

Here are some helpful things I’ve personally done, used, or tried that may benefit you.

Read: How To Get Your Child To Pee On The Potty

Potty Companions

A potty companion is something you save specifically for potty time that engages your child and allows them to relax near the potty and associate it positively.

Potty companion supplies could look like basically anything:

Specific books
An iPad or particular games on an iPad
Certain toys you bring out only at potty time
A white board with a marker to draw on
Markers and a notebook
M&M’s, blueberries, or whatever treat you choose

You get the idea. Something you can break out specifically (and only) during potty time.

Potty Train in a Weekend book

My friend Becky wrote this book and it’s wildly popular, and that ain’t an understatement. Potty Train in a Weekend is, well, just that, tips on how to set aside a few days (they need not be Friday to Sunday) and start and nearly finish the potty training process.

She also tells you what to do in the event they will pee but not poop or regressions or any other scenario you can think of. This is a great tool if you already have a child you know is pretty much ready, but just needs a push.

Also helpful if you don’t have months and months of time to get it done!

potty train in a weekend by becky mansfield

Reward Supplies: M&M’s or Choc Chips or Kale Chips, Etc.

Many moms use a reward system for potty training.

I didn’t do it with my first two, but am giving it a go in conjunction with other things with my third.

He had a great potty training window a few months ago when I was Nearly Dead from Pregnancy Fatigue and it just wasn’t a time I could train him. Now that I’m able and want to get it done before new baby comes… he’s got his undies in a wad about wanting to wear a diaper.

So since he loves chocolate chips and a few a day won’t hurt him, we’re offering him 3 mini chocolate chips every time he sits on the potty and tries to go.

Even if he doesn’t, that’s okay.

So far he hasn’t abused this by trying to sit on it all day long, but it’s helping with his willingness to go!

child on a blue potty with stickers on it

15 Minute Timer

Honestly, the timer is a mom’s best friend.

You can use it in a myriad of ways throughout your day with kids. You can help minimize power struggles, signal what’s next, and to countdown when they have to stop doing something they love.

I essentially potty trained my firstborn by using a timer set at 15 minute intervals. Every time it went off, I let her push the button (you know kids love pushing buttons) and then we sat on the potty.

If she went, good, if not, fine.

We just set it again for another 15 minutes and did this for a few exhausting days until she was pretty well trained. If she said she had to go during that period we would just stop the timer and reset it for another 15 minutes.

Marriage Wisdom for the “Small Children” Season of Life

I rarely go into marriage here… oh except my letter for Type A Wives married to Type B men. Oh and why Type A Women are Coldhearted. Parenting is hard in general, but with small children, it’s a greenhouse for tension.

Here are some tips compiled by my awesome and wise readers.

Great marriage advice for wives compiled by other mothers. Moms of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers should read this.

A while back I was having a much needed dessert date with a friend. We were talking about life, our kids, house stuff, and eventually got around to the subject of our marriages.

Both of us wanted to share what was on our hearts – our struggles – but neither of us wanted to bad mouth or seem like a complaining shrew.

After some minutes of veiled conversation and discussion, my friend said this…

“You know, my sister has always said after you have your first kid… you pretty much hate your spouse for like 5 years.”

We both had to laugh at that statement. Not because it’s actually funny, but because of how exaggerated and extreme it was. Still, we could see the mustard grain of truth.

The truth being… parenting babies, toddlers, and preschoolers is extremely intense and puts a lot of strain on a marriage.

Marriage Wisdom for Hard Seasons

“Always remember your spouse has your best at heart and that you’re on the same team.” Becky

“When we’re feeling disconnected, we have date nights at home. After the kids are in bed, we open a bottle of wine or make root beer floats and sit on the patio and talk. It’s been working so far!” Michelle

“Treat your guy like you would expect him to treat you. So if you think you need pampering, or attention then why not some kind words and attention/special treatment for him too?

Similarly if you expect him to respect you and treat you like a queen in a fight without using any abusive language, etc then keep in mind that a woman ought to-do the same.” Sumeet

“We also never discuss anything heavy about our relationship after 9 pm which is when we start to become tired and illogical and reactive. We agree to put the discussion on hold and try again the next day. Because we are Christ followers, we receive grace and give grace; that’s the most important part of marriage.” Diana

“The best marriage advice I ever received was from my uncle who has a great marriage. He took me aside and told me to expect and appreciate conflict. Then he said ‘If you both agree on everything, one of you is not necessary,’ I have appreciated that so often in my marriage.

That has helped me appreciate the fact that my husband is not a conflict avoider. He is a get it all out there on the table so we can look at it and get it fixed kind of a guy.

This works best for us because I am a grudge holder (ugly, but true), so a little positive conflict to get it all out there, get it fixed, then my grudge thing can’t kick in and make our marriage miserable.” Lucy

“My tip so far has been to make sure I have cooled off my anger first and thought through everything before we talk things out. When you are angry we end up saying mean and hurtful things. Every time I am overwhelmed with anger I pray to get calm.” Abigael

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Parenting on the Same Page

You and your co-parent (spouse, ex, step, etc.) won’t always see eye to eye—but that doesn’t mean parenting has to feel like a constant battle. This workshop will help you communicate clearly, find common ground, and handle disagreements without drama, so you can focus on raising great kids instead of fighting over the details. Because parenting differences are normal, but constant conflict doesn’t have to be.

Start Now

“My best marriage advice, being married to an internal thinker (as opposed to myself as a verbal thinker), is to speak, in as few words as necessary, “we have a problem. We need to talk about it.

Let’s think on it until after kids go to bed tonight, then let’s talk, okay?” This gives my internal-thinker husband time to internally think about what’s under the surface.

But, at the same time, he knows my expectation of discussion so he can prep for that. I also know, now, that he takes a looooong time to gather this thoughts when he’s speaking so I am careful to be patient when we talk.

I have to really listen to him instead of just waiting for my turn to talk.” Erica

“Sometimes the thing that works best is “loving my enemy”. If I’m angry at him, I consider him, for the moment, the enemy in front of me that I have the opportunity to love.

So rather than trying to work out all the details of a problem we’re having, I just go to the store and spend $20 to make him a little care package of treats.

I wrap it up nicely and then write him a little card, thanking him for all he does. That in itself seems to make some problems evaporate without all the drama of conflict resolution. Or, if conflict resolution is necessary, it at least paves the way for a kind and respectful conversation.” Heather

“The best marriage advice I read just after getting married was to not get uptight about the not-so-good things that actually lead and contribute to the things you love about him/her. For example, if you love how fit and toned they are, you shouldn’t be upset for the time they spend at the gym.

Another personal example is, I love that my husband is the one that does the dishes in our house. I don’t love that I’ll pull dishes out of cupboards unclean occasionally. Because I appreciate that he does the dishes, I choose not to say anything and maybe just go the dishes a couple times myself to help me get over it.” Erin

“If my husband and I feel like we are about to get in an argument that could really become a bad situation, we both go to opposite rooms for half an hour or maybe a full hour. Once we’ve had a little time to pray or, for me, write in my journal, we come back calmly and talk about it.” Beth

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

Start Now

“My husband can not stand being micromanaged, likely because he is a very intelligent and capable person. Unfortunately, I grew up in a household where my mother micromanaged everyone and everything.

I always swore I would never turn into her in this respect but early in our marriage I would do it unintentionally which drove my husband nuts. So in year two of our marriage we came up with the “What How Rule.”

On my end, I can tell him what to do or how to do something but not both. He in turn is happy to help with household projects.

And when I forget and start to micromanage instead of getting mad he simply mentions the What How Rule instead of telling me I’m being like my mother. Then we can both smile about the event and carry on with our project instead of getting silently ticked at each other.” Abby

“If the choice is between “do I tell him how angry I am?”or “do I speak kindly about things that are bothering me?” It’s got to be kindness.” Jacqui

“Every evening we set aside 30 minutes before bed to have ‘talk time’. We can hit on any issues with the kids or us, talk schedules or plan our next date night or just talk and dream a bit 🙂

Even if the rest of the day has been running around and we have hardly shared more than a brief kiss, the evening will conclude with just us and I can go to bed happy.” Jessie

“Pretend you can see into the future and see yourselves still together and loving each other; and let the daily little things go.” Sterling

“Big help for us: voice your needs and ask about his. My husband has certain housework chores he would like taken care of in order to feel relaxed at home and doesn’t care about others.

We talk about our preferences and priorities and I’ve learned to honestly tell him what I need without making him guess and we are all much happier.

When I need time alone or help with a certain chore I just tell him. Also when I’m hormonal I ask him to remind me of that so I’m not beating myself up. So helpful.” Elizabeth

“When we do real talk we are putting all our feelings on the table and being completely honest with each other about how we feel about the various issues happening in our marriage.

We don’t tip toe around the other persons feelings because we believe that in order to grow together in our marriage, we have to truly be honest about how we are feeling…even if it is hard to hear.” HM

All Posts

By reminding myself of this truth…

Encouraging Strategies For Discouraged Moms

Focus on the average of your days, not one bad day

Keep a long term perspective

Accepting your discouraged feelings without judging them

Bounce back

A Calm Down Trick: “Relax Time”

Get some books

Read or browse quietly

Our rule: only get out of your seat to get another book

Use a timer

The Importance Of Life Skills

First, Essential Skills Everyone Needs To Know

Life Skills For Toddlers

Life Skills For Preschoolers

Life Skills For Kids (Early Elementary And Up)

50+ Life Skills (By Age!)

Teaching Social Skills

Life Management Skills

Checklist (Printable By Age)

50+ Life Skills (By Age!)

Sometimes you need to get things done

We need full concentration.

Here are situations in which we need to pay attention:

15 Ways to Keep Kids Busy When You Need to Get Stuff Done

50+ Life Skills (By Age!)

More ways to keep kids busy

These are easy!

101+ 15 Minute Projects

Option #1 – Start Preparing a Week Ahead Of The Time Change…

How to shift the schedule, another example

Or Go Cold Turkey The Day After The Time Change

Don’t let your child decide the new start time of the day

Practical Considerations When Helping Babies & Toddlers With The Fall Or Spring Time Changes

How The Time Change Affects Eating

Time Change Affects Sleep In Babies & Toddlers

Utilize light exposure to help through the time change

Keep the Course and Give it Time

Wearing baby out doesn’t work…

Common symptoms of an overtired baby:

How to help an overtired baby to sleep (and avoid over stimulation)

Keeping a good routine prevents a baby from being overtired

Avoid screens and chaos right before bed

Have a good wind down routine in place

Move up bed or naptime

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Guard babies’ sleep to prevent overtiredness

Avoiding Overtiredness Recap

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Breastfeeding Techniques – Step By Step Positions & Tips

#1 – The Basic Cradle Hold While Sitting

#2 – Holding baby with opposite arm while feeding

#3 – Lying on back with baby nursing, positioned on top

#4 – Nursing baby while holding him tucked under, like holding a football

#5 – Sitting up with baby straddling one leg, nursing upright

#6 – Lying down with baby feeding “upside down”

#7 – Lying on side with baby positioned nearly upright feeding on the top breast

#8 – Breastfeeding while lying on your side

How To Keep Your Milk Supply Up

Common Not So Helpful Parenting Behaviors

1. We tell them we wish they were the other gender

2. We knowingly (or unknowingly) play favorites

3. We are present but absent

4. We squash our kids’ feelings by interrupting, redirecting, or not being able to handle it

5. We communicate rejection to our kids instead of acceptance

6. We make them feel “never good enough”

7. We try to be their friend instead of their parent

8. We give empty and ineffective praise

9. Raising children without life skills

10. Giving our kids’ what they want when they want it

11. Misunderstanding the concept of unconditional love

12. We parent in ways that prevent self-control from building

13. We unwittingly breed entitlement

14. We let our kids live in la-la land

15. We misunderstand the difference between protection and sheltering

Double Stroller Options for Irish Twin Mamas

Side By Side Double Strollers For Irish Twins

Pros of side by side double strollers:

Cons of side by side double strollers: