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If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

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Because I’m Outnumbered

The issue is I’m outnumbered. I have two arms and 5 kids. And we all know what research says about mob mentality. They wait around until I look distracted and that’s when their best ideas come.

Mischief is made when mama is trying to have a conversation.

They make immediate friends with other unsupervised kids and then before we know it they’re having the time of their life and old people are giving us dirty looks.

And then there are so many little kids running around…

I can’t even do a proper head count.

So if you see me…

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

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So if you see me in public with my kids then know this. I promise I care what you’re saying. I really do want to know how your family is. I’m not trying to be rude or distracted. One day in the future I hope we can have awesome talks where our kids don’t interrupt or get lost or injured. But until then…

I am listening.

Without making eye contact.

While doing a head count.

One Simple Step That Will Unlock Your Child’s Heart, Guaranteed

.Life gets crazy with little ones, but there is a simple thing you can do to unlock your child’s heart and make a special connection, guaranteed.

My 3-year-old ran into his dark room and threw himself onto the floor.

I closed the door behind us and put his t-shirt, pull-up, and undies on the ground beside me. Then he started kicking his feet and screaming, “No, no, noooooo.”

I knew he was overtired. I knew he was wound up from the late evening and birthday cake.

And I knew he hadn’t had a lot of time with me lately.

Maybe you feel there’s a need in your family to unlock your child’s heart. I get it…

Even when you try hard to spend one-on-one time with your children, the special times don’t come around every day. As the 3rd child of 5, he often gets caught in the middle.

He’s not as big as the older kids nor is he a baby or little toddler.

His older siblings play more complex imaginative games and his younger brothers don’t really let him boss them. So, you see, he tries to find other ways to get our attention.

By screaming, tattling, and having some type of ache or pain.

So this evening, especially this evening, I knew I could not rush bedtime.

I didn’t hurry up…

As I sat on the carpet that has more bodily fluid stains than can be counted, he slowly turned around and lay his head on my lap. He is a rough and tumble boy so this is a big deal for him.

A true sign of affection.

I rubbed his head, patted his belly, and started singing a song for him. I sang about how much I loved him, how much God loved him, and how great it was to have a boy with an infectious laugh.

Then, I sang about his favorite food, his favorite games, and his kind-heart and fun spirit. I sang about all the things that make him unique.

It was not in perfect tune, but he listened to every word.

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Rooted in Family

Family life shouldn’t feel like a blur of to-do lists that leave you wondering if the memories are even sticking. This workshop helps you define your family’s core values and create simple, meaningful traditions that bring everyone closer without adding pressure.

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Then he said what had been on his heart…

After the song he sat up, looked at me, and laid his head against my chest and said, “Mommy…” in a sad voice.

Inside I knew whatever he was going to say was important. It was that kind of moment.

“Mommy, why did you give brother my gummies at the Easter egg hunt?”

I sat for a moment and thought… then I remembered.

At the Easter egg hunt both boys found an egg with candy, but his brother’s egg had peanut butter in it. His brother is allergic to peanut butter. So I swapped the treats in their eggs.

But the thing was, he didn’t see it like that… he just thought I gave his little brother his prize treat.

In that moment, he hadn’t understood. He just thought I favored his brother.

Me to Hubs: Why don’t you cut the kids hair but leave some fluffy blonde-ness. Hubs: Shaves 2 of 4 boys’ heads Me: !!!!!??????

A post shared by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Apr 11, 2017 at 2:10pm PDT

So I gave him vocabulary for his feelings…

“Oh, baby,” I said, “You were so sad I took your candy and gave it to your brother. You wanted that candy!”

“Yes, I weally was,” he stated.

“I am so sorry for taking your gummies and giving them away. That made you feel bad. Do you know why I did it? When we opened his egg, it had peanut butter in it, so I changed your egg and his. But you know what? Next time I won’t do that. Next time we can think of something to do together.”

What he said next proved he did understand. “Mommy, next time at the egg hunt, if he has peanut butter in his, I give him another egg.”

I looked him square in the eyes, told him that was a great idea, and we shared a nice cuddle.

Dedication, time together, true valuable moments, and physical affection… all guaranteed to unlock your child’s heart.

The reason he shared…

The fact is, that Easter egg hunt was over a month ago. To a toddler or early preschooler, that’s a lifetime. He had been holding onto this feeling for weeks.

The idea that maybe, just maybe, mommy preferred his brother over him.

It isn’t that it was necessarily wrong to trade the boys’ eggs. But it was the principle of the matter.

Do I always take the time to explain situations to my children?
Do I give them the chance to make decisions on their own?

Humbled and focused…

I felt humbled he asked me this question because I knew it was close to his heart. Also, I knew the only reason he felt safe to talk to me about this was because I had chosen to do something rare for me.

For once, I had ignored everything else around me and focused on him.

I let his siblings run around outside his room. You see, I did not divide my attention between hoarding my offspring, cleaning house, and pretending to focus on him. Instead, I just focused on him.

I did something that required my full attention: I sang. In my song, proved to him that I know him. That I see him. I love him.

Only then, after I’d gotten to his heart by paying full attention did he feel safe to be vulnerable with me.

The 3 Threats Every Parent Makes — And Why They Don’t Work

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

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After our talk…

He accepted my apology and I could tell his mood had lifted. The cloud of doubt in his heart?

I hope it was uprooted.

He jumped into bed, hugged his stuffed lion that’s bigger than his entire body and asked me to cover his tippy toes with the blankie.

I walked out of his room both happy and sad. Sad it had taken over a month for him to share his insecurities and doubts. But mostly happy. Happy he’d shared them at all.

Happy I’d ignored everything else going on around me and focused on him. And that by doing so, he felt truly loved.

Unlocking your child’s heart isn’t about big fancy displays of affection.

Love is not grand gestures or big opportunities.

It isn’t complicated or complex.

Love is as simple as paying attention.

Related Reads:

An Awesome Phrase When You Want To Say “I Told You So”

When the urge to say “I told you so” comes on strong, remember this phrase. It’s kinder and much more effective for teaching the lesson you wanted to communicate in the first place.

Mornings had become a real struggle.

Instead of my darling Kindergartner bounding out of bed ready to take on the day, she did not want to wake up. Then, when she was up, she did not want to get dressed.

Or put on her shoes.

Or move an inch of her body

Or do anything that I wanted her to flipping to do to get ready for school.

daughter sitting on bed with mother in background

She had started out strong, getting herself ready each morning. Then the newness of school wore off, and then we were in a painful power battle each morning to see if she’d get dressed in time to eat breakfast before bounding off for the day.

I had tried all things.

I used my super chipper mom voice. I praised her for any action she made towards our morning goals. I read her stories while she pretended to be too sick to move her arms. I sang songs. I prayed. All in all, I did everything but let her be until she decided to do it – or not – on her own.

So one morning, towards the end of the school year, I’d had enough. There were lunches to be made, baby diapers to change, and I could no longer sit and watch my daughter not get ready for school.

I said very kindly, “You now have 20 minutes before daddy is taking you to school. If you don’t get dressed, he’ll take you in your pajamas. If you aren’t at the table in time to eat, you will miss breakfast.”

I looked her in the eyes, gave her a genuinely warm smile, kissed her head, and went on about my business.

Read These While You’re At It

The Magic of “Uh Oh”

7 Words a Mother Must Never Say

The Biggest Problem With Yelling Isn’t How It Makes Your Child Feel

It’s a Hard Lesson

It’s hard for us, mamas. We attempt to teach our children self-regulation, problem-solving skills, and good values. We say things like, “The oven is hot, if you touch it you’ll burn your finger,” and just expect our kids to do what we say.

We can tell our children the wall is hard and they can listen. Or they can bang their head against it and find out on their own. One of these options sounds best to us. The other seems more adventurous to a child.

And why would children rather test things out on their own?

Because they are primarily emotional beings. Adults work out of logic, children do not.

Children think that puddle looks deep, I’ll jump in it!

Children think the candy tastes good, I’ll eat the whole pack!

Children think their brother’s toy looks fun, they’ll swipe it!

And what happens when our children do exactly what we’ve told them not to do, and a negative result happens? We want to say…

Read: Time In Vs. Time Out … and is Time Out Damaging Kids?

“See, I told you!”

I told you that puddle would make you soaking wet.

I told you all that candy would give you a tummy ache.

I told you your brother would retaliate.

Saying “I told you so” does one thing: it proves we were right. While this may be satisfying to us, moms who teach their children right from wrong all day, it misses opportunity for a greater lesson to be learned… for our children to learn from their choices.

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

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Instead of telling our kids we were right, let’s help them understand cause and effect. Instead of using the phrase, “I told you so” which simply tells our children their exploration and boundary testing was wrong, use this fun slightly-sarcastic-yet-not-really-phrase…

“Oh, you found out?…”

“Oh, you found out that jumping in a puddle will get your clothes all muddy?”

“Oh, you found out that eating a whole pack of gummy worms will give you a bad tummy?”

“Oh, you found out that stealing your brother’s toy means he will come after you?”

We are not reframing the situation to prove our own wisdom, but to help children learn cause and effect. By teaching both cause and effect and natural and logical consequences, we are giving a gift they’ll use throughout their entire life. We are also putting the consequence of their action squarely on their shoulders.

Where it needs to be.

I went about my business that morning, making the school lunch, and getting myself ready. I informed my husband he may be dropping our daughter off to school, not in her uniform, but in her pajamas and crazy hair. He seemed surprised. We have 5 kids, I’m not sure how anything surprises him.

She remained in her room a while, sitting on the floor bemoaning her fate. I understood, playing at home is more fun than school.

Then, just as it was time to leave, she threw on her clothes and ran downstairs. I did her hair quickly and it was time to go. She sat down at the table to eat her cereal and her dad said, “There’s no time to eat, we have to go now.” She couldn’t decide if she was angry, sad, or outraged.

Simple School Routines

This workshop will help you create simple, structured before-and-after school routines that keep kids organized, independent, and on track—without you having to nag every step of the way.

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I looked at my precious little girl and said, “You found out mommy was serious. If you don’t get your morning routine done in time, you miss breakfast, but you still go to school. You found out stalling doesn’t work.”

It was a big sigh she gave me, then a big smile, then a big hug.

She learned that lesson.

And we haven’t had any morning problems since.

The No Tears Approach to Running Errands and Doing Appointments With Baby

In this post you will find out how to fit appointments and errands into your routine without overtiring your baby or toddler. Here are tips for running errands with little ones.

4 kids in a tiny exam room.

Screaming like banshees.

Well, to be fair, only one was screaming. Another was squealing naughtily, two were staring at me in shock that my head hadn’t exploded.

The dermatologist that had to cut a mole out of my leg (yes while 4 kids were running around) was truly a professional. Calm, cool collected.

Reassuring me that, never fear, she had 3 small kids too and she was familiar with noise. She truly didn’t seem to notice.

I, on the other hand, was *this close* to dying. The baby was simply past the point. Exhausted, ready to take a nap, and not nodding off in the stroller as I’d hoped. He fell asleep immediately upon getting back in the van.

How to Fit Appointments and Errands In Your Routine

So if you are wondering how to fit in errands or appointments into a routine without everyone losing sleep or acting delirious in public, here is what I’ve now learned.

Read: Simple Baby Advice That Stands the Test of Time

Choose set days and windows beforehand

One morning a week I have a babysitter with us and I try to schedule all appointments that are not urgent for that morning. Some mornings we may even have two appointments, but this way I have help in the waiting room and we can divide and conquer.

If this is not possible, it’s still advisable to have a day of the week set aside where you can schedule appointments. This prevents you from having 4 in a week.

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

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Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

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Choose Tuesday, for example. When scheduling check ups, dental exams, eye exams, grocery shopping or anything else where you’ll be outside the home, schedule them on a Tuesday where possible. You may have an appointment every Tuesday, but this is better than some weeks having multiple ones scheduled.

Additionally, choose a time slot. I do mornings because even if a morning nap is missed by baby, he can still nap in the afternoon. Missing an afternoon nap results in screaming babies and toddlers throughout the dinner and witching hours and this is… well… not good for me.

You might choose 3:00 pm to 5:00 pm because you have your school aged children and naptime is over. When it is doesn’t matter, but choose a chunk of time on one day per week and attempt to fit appointments into that.

Read: Non-Negotiable Newborn Baby Needs

When it’s so dire in the doctors office that you gotta play Simon Says outside… ??

A post shared by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Feb 14, 2017 at 8:46am PST

Get appointments in advance if possible

This follows the first point. If your child is not sick right now, try to schedule appointments in advance so you’re able to lock in a time that is convenient to you.

If you know there are certain appointments you’ll have to make in the next few months, call ahead and say something like, “Thursday mornings work for me, is there a Thursday morning in the next few months we can fit it in?”

You’d be amazed how accommodating people are when you request something reasonable.

As for errands, choose one day you’ll do a slew of errands and let everyone get through it. This is usually preferable to children than having to run errands strapped in a car or a stroller every day.

Believe it or not, kids like to stay home. They would rather stay home and play than sit in a waiting room.

The more you have your kids out having to be quiet and sit still, the more negative they’ll be. Don’t expect perfect obedience from a child who doesn’t get to let their wiggles out!

Forego mid-afternoon

For smaller babies the morning nap can set the tone for the day. As babies get older and then become toddlers, the afternoon nap becomes paramount. While they’re able to stay up and play through the morning, the afternoon nap is what gets them through to the evening without becoming overtired.

If possible, get your appointments scheduled or run your errands in the morning or after the afternoon nap.

You can run errands after school drop off, between naps, or right before lunch. Scheduling an appointment halfway through the normal nap will mean you have a tired child you’re expecting to behave well. It’s a difficult ask for a small one.

Bring a carrier, stroller, or blanket

If you will be in a waiting room for a while or going from place to place, consider letting the baby sleep in the stroller if possible. Some of my babies napped well in public, some didn’t, but I always give it a go.

Bring a breathable blanket and you can use it to cover the stroller or car seat so they are not overstimulated and may drift off to sleep. If you baby wear, this may make errands or appointments relatively convenient because baby will likely snooze while riding.

Connection & Culture

Why it’s Hard for Busy Moms to Eat Well — And How to Make It Happen

Rooted in Family

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Be prepared to feed, just go with it

One mistake I frequently make is not wearing nursing friendly clothes. There are a few reasons for this. 1. I don’t like them. 2. I’m too cheap to buy clothes that are specifically for nursing. 3.

I just forget and am so busy trying to get them out of the door I forget to not wear a dress I have to lift up from the bottom.

#nursingmomfail

As much as you are able, pack your diaper bag well, bring snacks or meals if you will be out during meal time (or be prepared to go out to eat), expect your children to behave well, and then whatever happens… grin and bear it!

If you’ve ever had to bring our a few kids in the afternoon and had to wait in a waiting room for an hour or two… you’ll know my pain.

It isn’t always pretty.

They aren’t always cooperative.

But finding your groove makes it better!

But about that dermatologist…

That mole they cut off? Well, it was a bit abnormal and I had to go back in so she could remove the peripheral edge.

When I walked into the lobby area I was greeted by the receptionist with a huge smile on her face. As I wrote my name down she said, “Left the kids at home today?”

On occasion, my friends, on occasion.

[amffh-sampleroutines]

Gifting an Easter Basket… A Kindness Project for Littles (And a Whole Foods Market Giveaway!)

In this post I’m going to talk about how you can help your children learn to think of others during holidays, particularly Easter, by letting them make an Easter basket for another person, not just waiting for their own full of candy! This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Whole Foods Market. All opinions are 100% mine.

Two weeks ago I had a shocking realization.

A realization no mother wants to make.

A tough one.

I realized that my kids were not used to thinking of others, and they were beginning to at very spoiled.

I was in denial at first. I blamed it on human nature, their immaturity, and all manner of things. Until I had to admit… they wanted to get exactly what they wanted when they wanted it. They simply were not used to accommodating others.

I have an idea how this happened and as part of my 3 step approach to un-spoiling the kids (more on that later) I am teaching them to think of others. As part of this approach, for Easter, I wanted them to pack an Easter basket full of goodies and give it away.

To someone else.

Instead of thinking about getting a basket full of chocolate and how many eggs they will catch, I want them to think about how to bless another family.

Gifting an Easter Basket

Here is how we’ve gone about creating an Easter basket for another family that’s near and dear to our hearts.

Choose a Friend

As you may already be aware, April is Autism Awareness month. A family we love very much has an Autistic son and, as it happens, he’s on a gluten and dairy free diet. When we were choosing which child (or children) to give an Easter basket too, we chose this particular family. They’re our neighbors, friends, and we thought gifting them a basket would be a double whammy… a gift for Easter as well as a show of our support for the particular journey they are on.

If you want your children to learn and think of others, ask them who you could bless this Easter. Who knows what type of answer you may get, but go with it. The more children are involved in making decisions about something the more they’ll own it. It could be a school friend, church member, neighbor, or even a stranger!

Let the Kids Fill It

Because our friend’s son is gluten free, we decided to make sure everything we put in the basket he could eat. At Whole Foods Market there are a significant number of items that are gluten free, even the goodies you’d normally need to steer clear of, so we selected the ones that looked good to the kids.

We went to Whole Foods Market after a long day at the beach so the kids were fairly wild and excited to walk around inspecting everything and choosing what to put in the basket.

Everyone wanted to hold the basket, of course, so after a few minor scuffles my husband took the boys ahead and my daughter and I completed the selections. She’s at the age where she can read and I had fun listening to her reading the labels.

You may notice her foot stomp in reaction to her brothers’ unwillingness to do what she said. I’m not saying she’s bossy. I’m not saying she’s not.

Give With Love

Instead of letting your children wake up on Easter with a table full of stuff for them, have them think of others. Let them write a special card, or color it if they don’t write. Have them give mothers in the church flowers on Easter. Let them think about others, not only what they’ll “get.”

You can drop it off anonymously or let your child deliver it. I don’t think it matters here, but the idea is that instead of teaching our children every holiday is a way for THEM to receive presents, we view holidays as ways we can think of and love others.

5 Common Physical Reasons Moms Are Stressed

There are some reasons mom feel stressed that are medical. Here are 5 things common to moms that can cause feelings of stress and worry.

Pregnancy has done a number on my body.

Not just in the ole tummy region.

Because I had 5 babies in 5 years, my “normal” became all jacked up. Bloating, headaches, and fatigue were par for the course—pregnant, nursing, or not.

It wasn’t until a few months ago, months after my last birth and decidedly not pregnant, that I began to unravel some trends I was seeing in my moods and behaviors. Here are some things I was experiencing that it took a while for me to isolate:

Headaches
Fatigue
Heart and thoughts racing
Afternoon crashing

While there are many things that can cause these symptoms, I’ve figured out how they occurred in my life and am working hard to eliminate them. I feel sure there are many of you out there who are feeling similar things, so I hope this helps.

5 Common Reasons Moms Feel Stressed

Here are some issues common to moms when you’re feeling stressed. It’s crummy to feel stressed and have to try to stay calm and present, as we mothers want to do!

Eye Strain

With the amount we are on devices, laptops, etc. sometimes eye strain can really affect our heads.

Headaches, blurred vision, and even moods. My friend recently started wearing eye block glasses throughout her days while working and said the After Screen Hangover is much much less.

If you wear contacts or glasses and your prescription isn’t up to date this can also affect you. You think it isn’t such a big deal, but it is. Don’t miss regular appointments like this, even as a busy mom.

On another medical note, if you are currently on medication, be sure not to miss pills, and get evaluated regularly to be sure you’re on the right dosage. Why? Because pregnancy and birth can wreak havoc on your body, and on hormones—which leads me to my next point…

Hormone Disturbance

A dear friend told me recently that she started experiencing stress and anxiety out of nowhere. Not because of any particular situation—there was no event that brought it on.

She just started getting super anxious.

After a few months of meeting with a doctor, getting referred, and finding a specialist, come to find out that her hormone levels were bottomed out. She was put on a strict vitamin regimen and, after a few short weeks, the anxiety went away.

Don’t assume your new emotions are *you*, because they might be your *hormones.*

Dehydration

There are competing schools of thought, but you should generally try to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day or 1/2 oz. for every pound you weigh. So, if you weigh 150 pounds, you’d want to drink 75 oz. of water daily.

Nursing mothers are particularly prone to dehydration. They spend all day making milk, and if they aren’t careful can find themselves dehydrated.

Symptoms of dehydration that lead to stress include sluggishness, dizziness, fatigue, weakness, and even heart palpitations that can feel like anxiety. You feel worn out, tired, and over it.

How to Drink More:

Get a cup that tracks the number of glasses you’ve had in a day.
Make yourself drink a cup of water before or after your preferred drink (ahem, coffee or Coke).
Add ice and a squirt of lemon or lime juice to give your water flavor.

Diet

We like to think we can eat what we want and still feel good.

And you know what? This may have worked for us in our youth. But if you are not as young as you used to be (just like me!), now is the time to evaluate our diets.

We often tend towards extremes: eating too much or not eating enough. I find I don’t eat enough, and it makes my metabolism sluggish. I’m not as hungry as I used to be, so I forget to eat meals. Then I feel like I’m starving, and eat whatever I can get my hands on.

Bad idea.

Here are some easy ways to have a better diet:

Plan your meals.
Don’t keep anything in the house that you shouldn’t eat.
Prep some snacks in Ziploc bags a week ahead so you have a go-to healthy snack.
Find a few staples and always keep the pantry and fridge stocked with these.

Cup Fill vs. Empty Ratio

There are activities that give us energy and activities that drain us. If we fill our days with activities that drain us, we feel defeated, fatigued, and discouraged. If we make sure to add in activities or habits that make us feel good, we strike a balance.

Here are some ways to add in things you love without much effort:

Do something in the morning (before the kids wake up) that you love.
Have good fiction books on hand to read as an escape instead of escaping into your phone.
Go outside!
Make a list of things that make you happy and try to do one or two every day.

In Conclusion

If you are feeling stressed, look below the surface to find the reasons. Instead of managing the symptoms, dig deeper.

Mind your health.

Mind your heart.

Watch your daily habits.

5 Ways Moms Forget Themselves… And Why It Actually Matters

If you are a tired mom right now, I get it. Sometimes moms forget themselves because they love their babies so much. Here’s why it matters that we mothers take good care of ourselves. This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Tom’s of Maine for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine.

“I’ve made it, I’m finally feel like a mama. The baby spit up on my hair and shirt and I had to go shower!” my sister-in-law wrote on her Facebook page with a smile speaking of her newborn daughter.

What did the more seasoned moms comment?

That you’ll really know you’ve made it when you don’t even shower or change until the evening.

Because what’s a little spit up for 12 hours? Your nose will block it eventually, right?

These are the things we moms deal with day in day out. Bodily fluids, tantrums, meltdowns, and Lots of Squishy Cuddles from our babies. We are happy to go through it, it’s a great privilege. And yet, sometimes we get so focused on our kids that we forget ourselves.

And I don’t mean in a beautiful and sacrificial way.

I mean in a detrimental way.

5 Ways Moms Forget Themselves… And Why It Matters

Every mother has different priorities and what you need to thrive and function will differ from my own needs. This is why it’s so important we moms stay in touch with our own needs. This will enable us to be the mothers we really want to be.

1. We forget to fill our own cup.

It is pro forma to admit we don’t bathe, wear normal clothes, or leave the house for days at a time as new moms. And you know what, if you’re an introvert, this might not be A Big Deal to you at all.

However, it can become an issue. Days turn into months turn into weeks and, on the odd occasion you do leave the house, you begin to feel frumpy, out of shape, out of style, and old. And this no matter your age!

It’s important to remember the things that bring you life and fill your cup. When you know what these things are, it’s important you keep them as a part of your daily routine. These things vary by person, but they may be:

Reading good books
Praying and studying the Bible
Meeting friends
Painting your toenails or fixing cute hairstyles
Going on day trips or traveling

Your “cup filling things” may be completely off the wall, or totally Basic, but the fact is you need to know what they are and you need to fit them into your daily routine.

It’s important to keep some things because moms forget themselves. And read, How Moms Can Find Time to Themselves.

Read: The Stay At Home Mom Schedule That’ll Keep You Sane

2. We forget basic hygiene.

Okay, okay, I’m not talking pointing fingers here. But this happens. It’s a phenomenon. Moms are so busy getting up early to feed, running around like a chicken all day, then crashing into their pillow dirty and spit stained at night.

This is okay sometimes. This is life. There is no “right” or “wrong” standard hygienic practices. However…

When we no longer feel like ourselves… when we no longer look like ourselves… when we no longer act like ourselves… we begin to lose confidence. Our every day walking self-esteem flounders. This happens when moms forget themselves.

We start to feel a bit more insecure. A bit lost. We wonder if we’ve lost our identity.

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

If we still are those fun loving women we used to be.

The answer is yes, but we may have to get back some of the habits, routines, and basic practices that have lately been squeezed out.

It is one of my nightly rituals to have a nice bath or shower almost immediately after I’ve put the kids to bed. There’s something about washing off the day and smelling good afterwards that is great for relaxing and self-care.

Lavender is my go to scent (for myself and the kids) for its wind down properties.

3. We forget that kids don’t even need us 24/7.

Yes, of course, our babies and toddlers need our attention and care throughout the day. We need to feed them, carry out our daily routines, and make sure they don’t do anything dangerous. Since all that toddlers and preschoolers want to do are dangerous things, this can be an all-consuming job.

But this doesn’t mean we can’t teach our children independence and learn to find pockets of alone time throughout our days.

Here are ways we can actually go “off duty” for a bit in our days:

Wake up earlier than our children for quiet time. Even 20 minutes makes a difference.
Institute an independent play time each morning or afternoon where children must entertain themselves. This could also be a scheduled Quiet Time, which is awesome!
Put everyone down to nap at the same time (or rest if they’ve outgrown naps).
Use their screen time effectively. Turn the TV on when you need to get something done, not just to make them calm down.
Put them to bed at a reasonable time and require them to stay in their rooms.

You get the idea. While their safety and well-being are our responsibility, that doesn’t mean we must stare at or chase our children around 24 hours a day. We can create boundaries that allow some breathing room.

Read These While You’re At It

Why Financial Hardships Made Me A Better Mom

When You Think You’re “Just” a Stay-at-Home-Mom, Remember This…

A Yearly Reading Plan for Moms

4. We forget we used to have hobbies and interests.

Maybe you used to do a lot of active things that are difficult with a baby and toddler in tow.

Perhaps you used to go off each weekend with friends. These are hard adjustments, not to mention adding a baby to the mix.

If you feel like your life is utterly and completely different than pre-baby, maybe it’s time to bring back in some of those interests. Sure you can develop new hobbies (Here Are Some conducive to the stay at home lifestyle), but don’t let go of everything you loved just because you had kids.

Moms forget themselves when they loose interests and hobbies.

Bring kids along with you or make room for it somehow in your life. Even if you can only go hiking once a month instead of every weekend, you’ll still feel refreshed and energized.

If you love reading, make time during naps or the evening to read. Don’t just zone and veg out to escape, dig in and make time for what matters. It’ll improve your outlook.

5. We forget how short this season is.

It’s so easy to feel like the rest of our lives as mothers will be consumed by feeding, being up all night, and disciplining our children.

Sure, to a certain extent we’ll forever be on duty now sleeping with one ear open, but life won’t always be so intense.

So hectic. So all consuming. And, when you feel like your entire life has gone and you’ve been given the life of a martyr… we begin to make decisions we aren’t proud of.

Instead of enjoying each moment with our kids, we begin to escape. We pick up our phones to scroll around on something unimportant because we’re exhausted.

We’re exhausted because – well… the obvious – and because we so easily forget this time is short and won’t be here for long.

When we attempt to escape the now we end up unfulfilled and guilty. When we focus on our present, on our children, and really aim to connect with them we feel life and relief.

We’re called to serve our children, not martyr ourselves.

We’re to be patient and kind, not frazzled and angry.

We don’t need to forget ourselves to be mothers because ultimately…

We can only give our children what we possess ourselves.

When You Think You’re “Just” a Stay-at-Home-Mom, Remember This…

Do you often feel like all you do is clean up bodily fluids and deal with crying kids? That may be, but your job as a stay at home mom is an important one. Here’s how you can honor it.

Spit up.

Dirty diapers.

Tantrums.

Screaming.

Time out.

Or purposeful avoidance of time out.

It’s not really high order stuff. It’s so basic and un-glamorous and down-to-earth. In the moment, it feels so unimportant, repetitive and banal. There are few thank yous, lots of unnoticed effort, and a lack of intellectually stimulating conversation. Basically, it’s a hard season.

C.S. Lewis said….

“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career.”

I don’t know if it’s all that simple, but in a basic way I guess it is. Companies exist to create products or services we use at home. Doctors, dentists, and nurses have jobs to keep families functioning and healthy.

Construction workers and builders work to house us. Restaurants operate to feed us. On and on. The family is the most basic unit of society and its importance cannot be understated.

Mother Theresa said….

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.”

While the day in and day out might not feel like anything special, it is. It is to your kids, it is to your character, and it is to society. I think that it’s a bit fun and lighthearted to make fun of SAHMs and we’ve all shared virtual group hugs over cute videos, quotes, and posts on the craziness of it all.

And that’s fine because tired moms need a laugh. But really, I think each of us could honor our role a little more. I know I could.

1. We should watch our mouths.

We’re not “just” stay at home moms and we don’t “just” take care of the kids. Look, I know being a mom isn’t rocket science, okay, but we should definitely not be embarrassed about our “job.” Besides, stay at home moms have very extensive resumes. Babies, toddlers, and preschoolers need constant attention, time, and training and who better to do it than the mother?

If someone asks what you do (and if you live in the US they will, although this is considered a rude question in other countries) don’t talk yourself down in your answer.

And in fact, the next time you take your kids to the store look at the faces of the other shoppers, particularly the retired ones. Why? They are all smiles! Cute kids! Such a precious time! How sweet! Why? Because raising young children is important.

Read: Stay At Home Mom Burnout — How To Find Freedom

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

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2. We should not equate money with importance.

The fact that being a stay at home mom does not pay does not make it less important. In fact, many important jobs pay very little comparatively. The President of the United States of America only earns $400,000 (source).

Considering how many hours he works, the fact that he makes life or death decisions daily, and is (arguably) the most powerful man in the world, that’s pretty crappy pay.

“Motherhood… unpaid, but not unrewarded.”

I studied criminology theory in college and a common thread among various crime experts is the importance of a child’s early years. Most experts agree that the first few years of a child’s life can determine their entire life trajectory.

Now if you’re reading this it’s not likely you’re raising a serial killer, but it’s the day to day heart training, character training, and discipline (which means teaching not punishment, people) that make a huge difference in a child’s life. What you are doing is important. It will have effects that last a lifetime. Both for your children and their children.

Read: Scripture to encourage those on a tight budget

3. We should re-frame our perspective.

This next point might seem dramatic to you. And I know my husband would give me the look since yesterday (twice) he spent quite a while cleaning poop off the crib, walls, and my son who is not quite (or maybe he is) absorbing our personal hygiene lessons.

I’ve long stopped thinking about changing dirty diapers as gross. Nurses and hospice carers who care for the ill and elderly are actually performing acts that bring their patients dignity. In my mind, it’s an act of respect care for a person’s hygiene who is unable to do it themselves.

So when you change diapers, give baths, and teach kids how to brush their hair and teeth, think of it as a way to help them respect and take care of themselves.

There are many places in the world with ailments directly related to lack of hygiene, whether by lack of education or simply because there’s no water, for example. Think of taking care of your kids as a way you are honoring them.

Read: The Stay At Home Mom Schedule That’ll Keep You Sane

4. We should embrace what we can.

Look, I know it’s the cool thing to do now to admit that we don’t want to “carpe diem” or “enjoy every moment.” It’s okay to just say it’s hard and we’re ready for them to grow up and go to school. I know it’s cool, but I’ll risk having to sit at the loser table by saying this: I actually do enjoy most moments with the kids.

If possible, I try to purposefully enjoy the little moments. If you were a fly on the wall in my home or had a baby monitor receiver and could spy on me throughout the day you’d hear these phrases on repeat.

“I just wanna squeeze you so tight!” as I cuddle them by force and they giggle and try to run away.

“You are the most perfect baby in the entire world and nobody can tell me that you aren’t because it isn’t true and I won’t believe them.”

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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“I love you so much I’m going to eat your nose.” Then I insert every other body part because my son loves this game.

“I am so sorry for every other mother in the world that they don’t have babies as wonderful as you guys. But really I’m not because I’m so happy you’re mine.”

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

Sometimes (I kid you not, gag you with a spoon I’m sure) I close my eyes when I hear the pitter patter of feet because I love it so. I try to delight in my children. This makes days at home much more enjoyable, it gives you a lot more patience, and gives the days purpose. You’re taking care of those you love.

Not that there aren’t hard times. Hard days. Days when I’m SO OVER IT. But all in all… I try to redirect the hardness into appreciation.

So instead of acting like we’ve paused life to take care of the kids, let’s know that we are giving life to our kids.

5 Handy Things Mothers of Preschoolers Should Know

Congratulations, you’re in a new club… mothers of preschoolers! You’ve mentally survived the baby phase and you’ve gotten through some of the big emotional toddler years.

One day I looked at my son who was lying on the floor crying about the color of his cup and I thought to myself…

“What on earth happened to the calm and sweet baby I had?”

Now instead of calm behavior and a willingness to be cooperative, he flipped out if things didn’t go his way. He cried, flailed, and resisted. And it seemed, to me, that he wasn’t even being defiant.

He was truly overloaded with emotions he struggled to control.

I was *this close* to getting him tested for something, I don’t know what, when I realized that we were smack in the middle of what some folks might call The Terrible 3’s.

If you’re a mother to a preschooler… you know.

crucial things mothers of preschoolers must know

Previously, I refused to believe any age could be terrible.

So it just hadn’t occurred to me that it could be a phase. However, when I started to see his behavior as something that was not permanent, I handled situations better.

I was less angry and better able to respond kindly to his antics.

I could still be heard saying, “I think an alien has taken our son,” to my husband, but whatever.

5 Things All Mothers of Preschoolers Must Know

These years are so beautiful and trying and important in a child’s life. While we know “the kids are alright” there are some things it’d due well for us to consider.

The Kinds of Choices You Give To Preschoolers Are Important

Mothers are the ones in charge.

The End.

Part of our duties as mother include teaching our children how to make decisions and, ultimately, make good decisions.

We do this by giving our kids appropriate choices and then helping them learn the causes and effects of these choices.

At this age, children are growing more and more independent and questioning their environment around them.

This means they want to do what they want when they want and they don’t give a rip what you think.

Hence the need for appropriate choices. These choices can include things like:

what type of clothes they can wear (any long sleeve shirt, for example)
which activity (out of a selection) they would like to do
what books they want to read during story time
whether they want to comply with an instruction or suffer a consequence

We need to give our children choices within our family boundaries so they learn to make good decisions. We don’t need to give them free reign.

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

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Mothers Of Preschoolers Should Know…The “Emotional” Years Too Shall Pass

I’ve found – with my boys – the age of 3 to be very volatile.

Not the blue truck!

He took my cup!

I want goldfish, no I DON’T WANT GOLDFISH!

Preschoolers’ emotions are right below the surface and you can’t be afraid to make them angry. Sometimes they’ll really lose it and empathy may be your best bet.

Sometimes we’ll have to stand back and realize they don’t need us to make them feel better.

Explanations Are Now Important

Mothers of preschoolers… hear me out. Toddlers didn’t need much explanations, but preschoolers do.

Mothers want to teach their children about life. We want to teach them the hows and whys so they can make good choices whether or not we’re present.

To do that we need to explain explain and explain. With our toddlers, there was limited understanding. We could use short punchy phrases to get their cooperation, but now our Threenagers require more explanation.

They are able to engage in what’s happening at a greater depth and this means we don’t need to use the ole “Because I said so” except when it’s really necessary. Of course, we want our kids to mind us. And they need to!

But we also need to explain WHY we want them to mind us so they are better able to make decision when mom and dad ain’t around.

Also, the less explanation we give and the more You Must then we run the risk of enacting their counterwill all the time.

Structure Is Still Important For Preschoolers

Routine is important for children. It just is. This does not go away when they turn 3 and it might even become more important in the running of your home.

You want to let your kids do a lot of things, you want to get a lot done. There is preschool, family time, naps (though they’re phasing out by now), and basic time for errands and life.

You will have age appropriate chores and then time for play. If you want to do things the South African way (which I recommend) then you’ll need some form of a routine still.

But never fear, routine does not have to be dull. In fact, it’s the best way to get your kids to eat well, rest well, and behave well.

Read: 25+ routines for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and a combination of all!

10 Parenting Habits That Make You Feel Guilty – But Shouldn’t

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Sticky Routines System

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Your Preschooler’s Personality Matters

It is true what they say: no child is alike.

You can discipline the same way, love the same way, and give the same amount of time and attention only to find out some children respond well to your interventions and others don’t.

This is neither a failure on your part or theirs, it’s simply because kids have different temperaments.

I’ve written a bit on how a person’s personality really matters. For example, I’m a Choleric ENTJ which means I’m bossy, extroverted, decisive, task-oriented, and have little time for waffling or fuzzies.

If I did not focus on purposefully toning myself down a few notches (something I consistently work at) then my kids might think I just want to manage them instead of mother them.

Some posts to mothers of preschoolers:

How to motivate your confident take charge child (choleric)
How to motivate your calm and steady child (phlegmatic)
How to motivate your fun and energetic child (sanguine)
How to motivate your strong and deliberate child (melancholic)

But back to my Alien Child…

He’s 4 now and the aliens must have brought him back. He’s mostly through the Break Down At The Drop of A Hat stage.

He shares well. He is helpful. He knows what he should and shouldn’t do with respect to our own family rules, and he is a fun child.

The preschool years can be tough…

They can be challenging…

But stay the course, mama, and you won’t be sorry.

5 Things To Do With Your Preschooler If You Don’t Send Them to Preschool

If you have children preschool age and have decided not to send them to a preschool, this is for you. Here are some things you can do with your child to help prepare them for Kindergarten:

Options are limited in a small town.

In a small town there aren’t bowling alleys or Things To Do or, as it turns out, preschool options.

Our choices were as follows:

Send your child to school every day all day free with a state program,
send child to preschool every day all day with a private program, or
send child to preschool 2 or 3 mornings a week and pay the same tuition you’d pay if they went all day every day.

There are a few home day cares, but the waiting lists are a mile long and they too cater to working moms who need childcare Monday to Friday.

First of all, as a stay at home mom (you can see my resume here) I didn’t want to send her somewhere every day. I stay at home to be with her so that didn’t work together with our priorities.

Also, didn’t want to send her 3 mornings a week and pay for 5 full days. That is just silly.

So we evaluated the situation and elected to keep her at home. Full time. With us. And you know what?

She’s thriving in Kindergarten!

5 Things To Do With Your Preschooler If You Don’t Send Them to Preschool

Every family is different, so I’m not trying to convince you to keep your kids home from preschool (I’ve already done that here, ha!) but this is for those moms who know they want to keep their kids at home, but still be prepared for Kindergarten next year.

Read: Life Skills For Kids By Age (With Printables!)

Teach Them Basic Concepts

If you Google “What do my kids need to know before Kindergarten?” you’ll get immediately

stressed,
worried,
anxious.

Then, even convinced there’s no way your child can now go to Harvard since they don’t have a basic understanding of the Pythagorean Theorem by 4.5.

Really, the kids are alright.

I personally didn’t want to spend hours a day preparing them for school because they’ll be in school the next 13+ years at least.

What we do like, however, is ABCmouse. ABCmouse is a fun, interactive, and easy to understand online software that helps teach preschoolers basic concepts.

Colors,
following instructions,
shapes, and
a lot of other stuff.

Both my children who are old enough for ABCmouse absolutely love it. It gives you assessments based on age and creates Lesson Plans to help teach your children necessary learning skills. If you do this every day for 30 minutes your child will amaze you with what they know.

You can get your first month of ABCmouse free right here!

Get Them Used to Other Kids

If your child is a confident and take charge temperament, they’ll likely be fine with school. They’ll relish the idea of being in a crowd, making new friends, and having regular social interaction.

On the other hand, if you have a more reserved child who tends to go into the background, it’ll be important to get them used to other kids.

To go from being at home 24/7 with mom to being at school 40 hours a week with hundreds of children might be extremely overwhelming.

Ultimately, kids need parents to help them fit in.

Here’s how you can get your child used to other kids before school:

Church groups and events
Play dates
Story time at the library
Friends homes, visits, and parties
Fun sporting activities for preschoolers

The possibilities are endless, but do try to put yourself in your child’s shoes… if they are nervous being around other kids, expose them to this earlier rather than later.

Connection & Culture

Setting Your Family Pace

Family life shouldn’t feel like a constant race. This workshop helps you build a balanced, sustainable pace that handles responsibilities while making space for rest, connection, and what really matters.

Start Now

Teach Them To Respond to Authority in Preschool

While I think we should respect everyone, I’m not a believer in the old way of doing things that says every Grown Up can tell my kids what to do.

No, actually, they can’t.

If I don’t know you and my kids don’t either, they don’t have to do what you say.

#sorrynotsorry

However, I do believe that kids should learn to respond and respect the authorities we’ve placed over them. Let your children know which adults in their lives they must obey.

Family,
Sunday School teachers,
karate or baseball coaches, etc.

If your child has never had to mind anyone but you, they might be slightly confused come school time.

Read These While You’re At It

25+ Picture Books For Kids To Explain Hard Topics Light-Hearted Children’s Books About Body Parts (And Safety!)

32 Consequences Moms Can Use for Negative Behavior

Introduce School Gradually

My mother and aunt have been in the education system for decades. One thing they advised me that I hadn’t even thought of?

Help kids learn to use a mouse.

Technology is a way of life these days. Kids tutoring and assessments are done online and if your child isn’t able to use a mouse or navigate even the simplest program on the computer they may find the transition difficult.

Growing Up & Life Transitions

Peer Pressure Proof

You can’t bubble-wrap your kid from peer pressure—but you can teach them to stand tall when it hits. This workshop shows you how to raise a kid who says “no,” sticks to their values, and makes smart choices—even when friends push the wrong way. Because we’re not raising people-pleasers—we’re raising kids who know who they are and act like it.

Start Now

(Yes, that is my mouse from high school. I can’t believe I still have it, but now it’s sentimental.)

Teach them to use a mouse, to follow verbal instructions online, and to open and close a program.

In our State, the STAR assessments are taken online and my daughter’s teacher said her initial testing may even be lower than is truly accurate due to computer skills.

I am not a big screen time proponent, but neither do I want my child to be ill prepared.

ABCmouse will help teach your child all the basics of computer use at their own level.

Let Them Play in Preschool

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. A million times more.

Kids need to play. Play is so important.

They need freedom to be bored, to explore, to use their hands, and to create something out of nothing. Kids need to learn how to be with themselves and how to use their growing brains to think up scenarios.

Imagination!

There’s a difference between playing and being entertained and when the kids start school there is far less time to play. When your babies are home with you (during these formative years), let them play.

Choose toys that allow imagination, creativity, and that encourage focus. You’ll never be sorry you did.

Oh… and a Bonus…

The following thing helps prepare kids for Kindergarten:

Reading

Read to them every day. It’s powerful and it works.

It does quite a few things for our children. Reading helps with

speech skills,
academic performance (in nearly every area),
logical thinking skills, and
the ability to focus and to sit still.

But here’s how you can read to kids who won’t sit still if you’ve got a wiggler.

Simple School Routines

This workshop will help you create simple, structured before-and-after school routines that keep kids organized, independent, and on track—without you having to nag every step of the way.

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Reading helps prepare kids in preschool.

Don’t worry if everyone else’s child is going to preschool and yours isn’t.

“It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.” -Leo F. Buscaglia

5 Things Large Families Do That Smaller Families Don’t Have To

Do you have a large family or want one? Well, you already know the things to think about when considering a large family and how it isn’t as hard as you think to have kids close together.

“Coming from a large family you feel protected – you have friends and allies.” – Paul McGann

I was in the Walgreens bathroom on the toilet crying.

Ugly crying.

Helpless… oh my goodness… how are we going to survive crying.

See, I’d had a sneaking suspicion over the past weeks. A suspicion that I was – despite our plan – pregnant again with our 5th child. I tried to wait it out, see if the symptoms were just cyclical.

But then I woke up that Sunday morning and just could’t wait any longer. I drove to Walgreens in town, bought a pregnancy test, and took it right there in the bathroom.

It was positive and I was Freaking Out.

Now, months later and one perfect angelic baby later, we are doing fine. We are okay. We have taken having #5 in stride and are getting into our groove. The groove is decidedly different than it was two or three kids ago.

It’s a large family groove.

It can be loud, overwhelming, and busy, but it has its own beauty and fun.

5 Things Large Families Do In Their Home Smaller Families Do Not

I will say that some smaller families run tighter ships than larger families. Any family can do anything they want at any time.

However, after being a mom of a few children then a mom of many more (and having friends of all types as well) here are some things that large families simply must do if they have any hope of thriving.

1. They Focus on Function Before Form

In many areas of the home, function must win out. This doesn’t mean you can’t always have beautiful things and a well-laid out home, but it is not the first thought. The first thought is: will this work for my brood?

We’re currently in the planning stages of building our own house and the lady designing our kitchen and I had to have a candid talk. She wanted to put a small pull out trash can in one of the cabinets. I looked at her and had to laugh.

“A small trash can?

Do you think I have a small trash can?

I have an outdoor sized trash can!”

Mwahahaha. With trash, wrappers, diapers, and everything else, we do not use a dainty steel pretty to look at trash can.

We essentially use an outdoor one inside and do not ever use kitchen trash bags.

Here are some other choices we’ve made as we’re building our home for 5 kids:

Water and scratch proof floors. There will be a time for nice hardwoods and it is not now.
Dorm like bathrooms. The upstairs Kid Bathroom has two shower stalls, two vanities, a urinal (four boys #needisaymore) and a toilet, basically all separate.
Room sharing. I’m scared of room sharing (here’s why) but it’s a necessity for budget purposes. We’ve actually created a “giant” room for all the boys because it will give them more space and lots of room to play. It is not as ideal as an individual room per child, but with 5 kids that was never going to happen.
Stainproof materials. I wanted a white sectional. I just don’t think – even if it’s washable – that is a wise use of my time because I’d be washing that puppy every other day. The couches, carpets, and other surfaces will likely be stain proof, not too sensitive or easily stained. With a lot of kids, you don’t want to be focusing on messes instead of hearts.

You get the idea. A home can be beautiful, but if it doesn’t function well, a mother of many will live in endless frustration.

Parenting on the Same Page

You and your co-parent (spouse, ex, step, etc.) won’t always see eye to eye—but that doesn’t mean parenting has to feel like a constant battle. This workshop will help you communicate clearly, find common ground, and handle disagreements without drama, so you can focus on raising great kids instead of fighting over the details. Because parenting differences are normal, but constant conflict doesn’t have to be.

Start Now

2. They Must Plan and Stick With It

Even the most go-with-the-flow and fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants spontaneous mom of many knows that things just fall apart without clear plans.

This doesn’t mean every minute of your day is determined, but that you’re purposeful and focused on your choices.

You don’t willy nilly sign your children up for different sports without closely checking practice and game requirements because you know afternoons and evenings would be chaos.

You have a plan about pickups, drop-offs, and home systems. Even if you don’t run them all perfectly and need to re-visit, tweak, and buckle down, you are constantly trying to find ways to make the home work efficiently and well.

If there are multiple little people with the same problems over and over again, you are the one who gets worn out. In fact, in my opinion, this planning is the #1 thing moms need.

3. They Buy, Make, and Create Bulk

Most recipes are in serving sizes of 4-6. This works fine if it’s a filling meal, but for larger families, or with kids who are big eaters, you’ll have to double recipes.

Or, if you have 4 kids and cook a dinner for 6 there are 0 leftovers. This means everyone is still hungry and you have to pull out something to supplement.

Bulk buying becomes advantageous at this point. Except there is one disadvantage to bulk buying, you need a lot of storage. You’ll learn to buy things that don’t go bad or that are used regularly in bulk sizes.

Not just because it’s cheaper – it may not be – but simply because it’s more convenient. It actually is easier to buy a huge pack of canned tomatoes if you use 3 cans per spaghetti night.

So while you might not relish cooking double batches, buying bulk, or needing two people with you at the store to even be able to push it all, it makes mealtimes much easier.

A photo posted by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Dec 1, 2016 at 10:25am PST

4. They Value Routine as a Lifeline

When you have a lot of kids, one thing you cannot do is let everyone choose their own routine. Until they get older, that is.

No mother could survive the madness of 5 different breakfast times, snack times, lunch times, nap times, and bedtimes. All you would do all day is run around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Routines are key when there are multiple children with needs to be met. Of course, you can be flexible and make sure that each individual child’s needs and wants are considered.

But what you cannot do is let each child determine their own routine independent of the family. It will make the home life chaotic for everyone.

A great way to navigate this as children get slightly older is to help them learn to follow their own routine. You can do this with visual cues, like printable routine cards, or in whatever way works best for this.

This will create a sense of independence, pride, and cooperation with your kids and yourself.

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Sticky Routines System

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5. They Are “Mean Moms”

Mean moms are mothers who do what’s best for the child’s heart in the long run, not just in the moment. Mean moms can be super affectionate and loving, they just aren’t afraid to make their children angry.

The other day I was walking down the hall to stop a scream fest and I realized, disciplining the hearts of a lot of children takes a lot of work. If I let bad behaviors go unnoticed things escalate quickly.

Without being reined in there are multiple people to fight with and lots to whine about. It takes a lot of effort, discipline, and motivation to consistently and lovingly discipline a lot of children.

Consequences help with this and here are 32 consequences mean moms frequently use.

6. They “Let It Go”

I’ve come to believe the hallmark of an emotionally mature and happy person is this: the ability to let things go.

Even though they may have trouble getting a grip on their emotions or they may have discouraging days, they know the Majors from the Minors.

Minors don’t matter in the long run and are only minor inconveniences.

Moms of lots of kids learn to take these with a grain of salt and move on. Type A moms become much more balanced after having a lot of kids because they are forced to stop worrying about the silly things and focus on the Big Things.

Reminds me of an infographic I created once…

Inspirational Scriptures For Moms On A Strict Budget

Read these inspirational scriptures for moms and you’ll feel immediately encouraged and more at peace. Let these scriptures lift you up.

$25,000 in 13 months.

That’s how much we paid for the van and how long it took us to pay it off.

You might be asking yourself… what’s the rush? In fact, many people did ask me that along the way. Because, for months and months and years before that, we’ve lived on a strict budget.

We’ve lived well below our means, saving aggressively, and then paying off debt aggressively until… basically… we’ve lived like paupers.

inspirational scriptures and bible verses moms on tight budget need to read

Now, I’m not saying we are paupers, but that I’ve been so laser focused on saving or paying off debt like cars or personal loans, that we have watched nearly every penny.

I remember the month I finished paying off the van by transferring nearly $7,000 to the bank.

We paid that van off and then didn’t even have enough money left to buy ourselves Christmas presents. Not that we cared.

The van is paid off. Merry Christmas!

inspirational scriptures for moms on tight budgets

The Point Is…

Living on a tight budget, for whatever reason, is hard. It is hard. It gets discouraging. It feels limiting. It seems never ending.

But in addition to all that, living on a budget can also feel freeing. But that is IF and only IF you view it as your choice and not as your penance. Here are some ways you can encourage yourself in this tough time and (down at the bottom) some scripture that’ll help.

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Start Now

Decide What Parts Of It Are YOUR Choice

There are many reasons people live on a tight budget. Here are just a smattering:

low income
desire to save more
putting high amount in retirement
paying off debt
on one income
saving for down payment
chose a job they loved over a higher paycheck
in ministry

There are more, but you see my point. Some of the reasons are actually choices that you’ve made. That is so important because when we feel our circumstances are directly related to our choices we feel in control.

And feeling in control, even of a less than ideal situation, can bring peace.

Last year I felt “broke” all year because every extra penny over our allotted bills went towards the van.

While we lived on a slim budget, it felt exhilarating on payday and not crushing because we chose to pay down that debt.[\mffh-box]

If you are in a situation where you’ve got a lot of debt and the income is not high (your husband has one job that does not pay well, for example) then focus on the positive aspects of this decision.

For example, though you aren’t earning a lot you’re choosing to get OUT of debt which will free up more income later so you’re making hard present decisions for future benefit.

“Better to have little, with godliness, than to be rich and dishonest.” Proverbs 16:8

inspirational scriptures for moms on a tight budget

Remind Yourself That Good Things Take Time

If you’re on a low income because you’re paying off debt, a spouse is in school, or income is low, just remember… it feels like forever now, but change will happen. Financial health is not bought, it’s rented. This means that day in, day out, week in, week out, month in, month out you’re sowing seeds of financial freedom and health and eventually you’ll reap it.

It feels so annoying and irritating to choose to live within your means, but in two years your means will (hopefully) have increased and any debt decreased and you will no longer feel the pinch.

It can be so difficult to maintain motivation and self-discipline to continue on, but this is simply a time where you must accept that it is worth the fight.

printable financial encouragement scripture cards

A Little Winds Up Being A Lot

Even if you can only put $200 on a big debt, over time, it will add up. If you can only save a bit to put towards a bigger down payment, over time and with determination, little will turn into a lot.

Just as time cannot be stopped, you will gain progress if you keep chipping away. I have found, personally, that the more determined I am for something the more likely it is to come about.

“Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time.” Proverbs 13:11

Maybe you want to start an online business or sell something. Great idea! But even that will take time and effort and persistence before it pays off. Ultimately, there’s no dependable quick way to do anything of value.

That sucks, but at the same time, it’s encouraging. It’s encouraging because people all around the world, for millennia, have been doing and are doing the same as you… working hard little by little.