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Discipline with Dignity

Discipline shouldn’t feel like a battle or a shot in the dark. This workshop gives you a clear, balanced plan for setting boundaries that build respect and responsibility—without yelling, harsh punishments, or constant power struggles.

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Mom is accepting child when she feels like I don't like my child.

5. Accept them

Children need to know they are loved and accepted despite their flaws. How we show this is crucial to their understanding of acceptance.

Does that mean we allow bad behavior to abound? Not at all. But it does mean because they are our children and part of our families we must show them unconditional acceptance. This is not to be confused with unconditional love.

When you start to feel resentment and bitterness towards your child it’s time to step back…

Start with these tips:

Switch your approach to the behavior around- show love before placing blame.
Begin discipline with a statement of acceptance such as: “I see you and care very much how you feel right now….can you start by telling me what’s wrong?”
You’re mommy… scoop them up in a hug and a kiss. Then, begin to work through the behavior problem. You never know, maybe that’s all they wanted.

You may surprise yourself! Because you’ve oriented your heart towards them, your annoyance will likely have softened as well. Now, you can begin the discipline and bad behavior eradication.

It’s normal to love them all the time, but not like their behavior every minute of every day.

Just don’t let it get away from you.

How can I manage my own emotions when my child’s behavior is difficult?

Just know, this too shall pass. It will take some work from both sides but keep the perspective that our time with our kids is relatively short in the scope of life. Next, remain calm and take deep breaths and don’t take their misbehavior personally (these issues are normal parts of a child’s development and testing boundaries). Focus on connecting with your child, seeking support from others that know your child, and practice self-care.

How can I stay consistent with discipline?

Staying consistent with discipline is essential for helping children understand boundaries and expectations. Establish clear boundaries by communicating them well and in an age-appropriate manner. Once your child knows your expectations, maintain a united front with your spouse (or other caregivers) and follow through with consequences when the behavior occurs. Along with consequences for negative behavior, use positive reinforcement to reward and encourage good behavior.

Is my child’s behavior a phase or a concern?

Consider whether the behavior aligns with your child’s age and developmental stage. Many challenging behaviors are developmentally appropriate and tied to specific stages of child development. For example, temper tantrums are common in toddlers but typically decrease as children grow older. Assess how long the behavior has been occurring and whether it is consistent. Short-term, intermittent challenges may be typical phases, while persistent, ongoing issues may warrant more attention.

Sources:

All-Time Best Christian Parenting Books (According to Mom Reviews)

If you’re looking for a list of the best Christian parenting books out there, I’ve got a good list for you. These are the best books according to mom reviews.

When I was pregnant with my first child I was out of a job.

I had moved countries – from England to Scotland – and didn’t have much to do but read.

Books books books.

Truly, I read parenting book after parenting book. I prepared myself for what was to come so that I could – hopefully – be ready.

Ready to be a mom to a newborn.

Ready to be a mom to a toddler.

And ready to be a mom to a preschooler and on and on.

Never perfect.

And, of course, never thinking we can attain some lofty ideal, but with the goal of being prepared and ready to be the best mom we can be.

Read: All-Time Best Christian Books For Women (According To Reviews)

Best Christian Parenting Books

To that end, here’s a list of some of the best Christian parenting books out there that we’ve found. Tried and true and tested by the reviews they have.

There are always new books coming out year after year, and this list reflects classics that have stood the test of time.

As always, if you’ve got one to add, please leave a comment! 🙂

Read: All-Time Best Christian Books For Women (According To Reviews)

General Discipline Books for Christian Moms

It’s easy enough to understand what the Bible says about our life.

It’s harder, however, to figure out how to apply some of those principles when our children misbehave.

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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Parenting Books for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Parenting toddlers is a fun time, don’t you agree? I mean I LOVE it.

Truly, if you struggle in these years with your identity, keeping the house under control, and finding a greater purpose, these books will help.

The Christian Parenting Handbook: 50 Heart Based Strategies For All The Stages Of Your Child’s Life
The Dr. James Dobson Parenting Collection
Don’t Make Me Count To Three
The Ministry Of Motherhood: Following Christ’s Example In Reaching The Hearts Of Our Children

Books about Raising Boys

While many might not agree that there are physiological differences between boys and girls, much research has been done and books written about the differences in raising boys vs. girls.

Here are some wildly popular books relating to raising little boys.

Bringing Up Boys
Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets To Raising Healthy Sons
Wild At Heart
Wild Things: The Art Of Nurturing Boys

Books About Raising Girls

So, after the boy list it’s time to look at raising girls. The struggles young girls face are particular and unique and, I believe, it’s important as moms to help prepare them for what’s ahead.

These are some awesome Christian parenting books relating to raising girls.

Read: The Best Christian Children’s Books Teaching Biblical Values

Love and Logic Books

I am currently immersing myself in the Love and Logic approach. I believe it is a great parenting philosophy that will help raise children who are able to make good decisions on their own.

Parenting With Love And Logic
Love And Logic Magic For Early Childhood
Parenting Teens With Love And Logic (Preparing Adolescents For Responsible Adulthood)
Teaching With Love And Logic (Taking Control Of The Classroom)

Read: All-Time Best Christian Books For Women (According To Reviews)

Kevin Leman Books

I want to tell you right now that these books are hilarious. They are literally laughable.

If you get bored with parenting books then, rest assured, these will not bore you.

Devotions for Moms

If you are a tired mom these are some books that are guaranteed to refresh, renew, and spur you on to continuing your own race, even when you feel like quitting.

A Little God Time For Mothers: 365 Devotions
Spilt Moms: Devotions For Moms
Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full
Hope For The Weary Mom

Parenting Books for Fathers

It’s not only mothers who take their roles seriously, there are many dads who want books particular to their own position in the family.

Here are some highly rated books for fathers to read that will help spur their faith and equip their children.

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

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Books for Single Moms

I was raised by a single mother and remember the challenges she faced. And I only saw it from my perspective.

Here are some books written for single moms by people who understand what you are going through.

The Single Mom And Her Rollercoaster Emotions
The Single Mom Devotion – 52 Devotions
Single Moms Raising Sons
Suddenly Single Mom – 52 Stories Of Hope, Grace, And Promise

Books for Dealing With Grief

If you have lost a family member, gone through a divorce, or have a change in life that has created ripples of grief, here are some books to bring you home and encouragement.

It goes without saying, the Bible will be your biggest source of encouragement. However, these books will meet you where you are as well.

A Grief Observed
God’s Healing For Life’s Losses
Walking With God Through Pain And Suffering
Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief

It is my hope that this list has given you plenty of options to start from.

Book mark, pin, and save so you can be refreshed and renewed for years to come.

As a busy mom, I feel like I don’t have the time or capacity to read books, but I want to become a better parent. What should I do?

I hear you. Audiobooks are a great option so that you can listen and learn on the go, as you make dinner, drive, workout, etc.

Are parenting books one-size-fits-all?

Not at all. Different authors have different parenting styles, experiences, and backgrounds and the advice in their books can vary depending on these factors. While parenting books may not be universally applicable, they can still provide valuable insights, tips, and strategies that parents can adapt to their unique circumstances, including values and children’s personalities.

What if a book’s approach doesn’t work for my child?

Books contain the author’s general wisdom and personal perspective, so their guidance won’t work for every family. If a parenting book’s approach doesn’t seem effective for your child, it’s okay to explore other options, adapt strategies, seek professional guidance, and connect with supportive communities.

Which parenting book should I choose?

With so many options available, it can be challenging to choose a parenting book. Here are some steps to help find a parenting book that suits your needs: identify your parenting goals or specific areas you want to learn more about, research author credentials, read reviews or ask for recommendations from others (which is why you’re probably reading this post!), consider your child’s age, and check the book’s approach to parenting to see if your values align.

The Ultimate Guide To Surviving Irish Twins In The Early Years

If you’re having (or you already have) Irish twins then you know the joys and challenges. Here are some tips to enjoy your family.

My 12 month old was in the delivery room when I gave birth to her Irish twin. Her brother.

They are still, to this day, thick as thieves.

We lived far away from family and I honestly didn’t know who I trusted to watch her all night. So…. she was there. Barely 1 years old herself.

She couldn’t even walk yet.

Yes, I had two babies so young and so close together in age that neither could walk or talk.

Irish twins are two babies born within a year of each other.

my irish twins 12 months apart, daughter and son — My little Irish twins 🙂 12 months and a couple weeks apart.

I learned a thing or two or 23,235 during those early years. In fact, I had 5 in 5 years.

My first age gap (first and second child) 12 months.

My second age (second and third child) gap 15 months.

Then, my third age gap (third and fourth child)16 months.

My fourth age gap (fourth and fifth child) 18 months.

Read: The pros and cons of having babies close together

Tips For Surviving, Raising, & Loving Having Irish Twins

So let’s dive into it.

If you are now pregnant with what will be Irish twins or you’ve already got some on your hands, or are considering getting pregnant again when you basically still have a newborn or 3 month old…

Maybe this will help you find some sanity, order, and peace.

irish twins, baby sitting on top of other baby meme — Hahaha

Read: Why Having Babies Close Together Isn’t As Hard As You Might Think

Routines For Irish Twins

Here are some possible combinations you have going on if you’ve got Irish twins in your household.

I’ve linked to routines in place for these ages. And then below I will suggest some joint routines.

Newborn baby and a 9 to 12 month old baby
3 month old baby and a 1 year old
6 month old baby and 1 year old baby
1 year old baby and a 2 year old toddler
2 year old toddler and 3 year old toddler/preschooler

Use our daily baby logs to help you get it all out onto paper and not in your head.

Sample Daily Schedule With Newborn & 9 to 12 Month Old Irish Twins

6:30 a.m. – Wake up, feed newborn

7:00 a.m. – Older baby wake up, feed older baby milk and solids (here are ways to occupy a 1 year old)

7:30 a.m. – Newborn down for first nap

9:30 a.m. – Older baby goes down for nap, newborn wakes up for feed

10:30 a.m. – Newborn wind down routine and down for nap

11:00 a.m. – Older baby wake up, feed older baby

12:00 p.m. – Lunch, solids for older baby, newborn wakes up and mom feeds newborn

1:00 p.m. – Newborn wind down routine, newborn down for nap

1:30 or 2:00 p.m. – Nap for older baby, alone time for mom

3:00 p.m. – Newborn is up, mom feeds newborn

3:30 or 4:00 p.m. – Older baby wakes, feed older baby, mom puts newborn down for nap at 4 or a little after

5:30 p.m. – Dinner, feed solids, newborn wakes up, mom feeds newborn

6:30 p.m. – Bedtime routine for older baby, bath, wind down routine, calm time with family

7:00 p.m. – newborn to bed, mom does cluster feeding every couple of hours

7:30 p.m. – Older baby to bed

10:00 p.m. – dream feed for newborn

Sample Daily Schedule With 6 Month Old & 18 Month Old Irish Twins

7:00 a.m. – baby and toddler wake up, nurse baby, feed solids to baby and toddler

9:00 a.m. – baby naps

11:00 a.m. – baby wakes up to feed and eat solids

12:00 p.m. – lunch for toddler (avoid picky eating this way), calm down activities and wind down routines

1:00 p.m. – Afternoon nap for 1 year old, baby goes down or nap

3:00 p.m. – Baby wakes to nurse and eat and play, tummy time perhaps

3:30 p.m. – 1 year old wakes up, has afternoon snack

5:00 p.m. – Dinner with family, toddler and baby eating solids with family

5:30 p.m. – Baby goes down for 30 minute catnap

6:00 p.m. – Wake baby up, baby bedtime routines that calm baby down, wind down routine for toddler as well, baths, books, etc.

7:30 p.m. – Toddler in bed, mom nurses baby, does baby bedtime routine and puts baby down for the night

Necessary gear for Irish twins

If you’re expecting a baby now (and already have a baby!) you may be wondering what type of gear you need.

My answer is simple: very little indeed.

If baby has somewhere to sleep, a car seat, a carrier, and a stroller (double stroller in this case) then you’re Good To Go.

Now, if you are a stay at home mom, then you won’t need terribly much since the majority of your time you’ll be at home.

Here are some things to have at home that make life a bit easier:

A double stroller (here’s my list of the best double strollers)
A double baby carrier (if you have a strong back)
A pack and play (8 useful ways to use a pack and play)

Aside from those things, it’s all preference and habit.

Read: Best Double Strollers For Irish Twins

Challenges of having babies a year apart (plus strategies!)

One of the biggest reasons it’s challenging to have babies close together is because is because both babies and toddlers are needy, and they both need you!

It seems like babies feed every hour and toddlers are having tantrums and you hardly get any time to yourself.

You feel like you never have time alone | Set a good morning wake time, have consistent predictable naps, and an give both kids an appropriately early bedtime.
You are tired beyond words | Align baby and older baby / toddler nap times so you can snooze too. Take a power nap. After the kids are in bed, fight your second wind and get to sleep early.
You scroll too often trying to zone out | When moms are stressed they often try to zone out and, if you’re nursing all the time, you are probably scrolling. Avoid becoming overly dependent on digital media to distract you and, if you’re already too dependent, get my Slow Your Scroll workbook.

Read: The pros and cons of having babies close together

Room Sharing Tips

If your little ones are going to share a room, then make sure their sleeping habits are set. Put both kids to bed in their own rooms with positive sleep associations.

Use white noise to cut down on the little noises made by each child so they’re more easily able to drift into sleep, and less disrupted by the other’s nightly noises.

Make sure both are able to get a good night’s rest and, if not, remove one child until the sleep or night behavior issue can be dealt with. A crib in your room or pack and play in a guest room, for example, are preferable to having little ones waking each other up nightly or starting the day at 4:45 a.m.

Read: What Your Little Ones Must Know Before Room Sharing

Are Irish Twins Harder Than Twins?

As someone who has never had actual twins, of course, I can’t say for sure.

But, I’m going to go with NO. It’s not as hard.

Here’s why having Irish twins is easier than fraternal or identical twins.

Your older baby should be sleeping through the night by the time your youngest is born. This means you’re only feeding one baby for your cluster (groups of feedings) and dream feeds.
Your oldest will be nursing less often and eating more solids. This means you aren’t trying to feed two babies at a time all day long.
Your older baby is more independent now. Crawling, feeding herself, and even able to put herself to sleep without much fanfare. This leaves you time to take care of a newborn.
You can stagger your routine so that you still have 1:1 time with each child and still have time for yourself.

Can Irish Twins be in the same school year?

Yes, they definitely can.

Now, depending on when your little ones are born, and whether you hold one back for another year because of a late birthday, you could have two in the same grade.

If your oldest Irish twin is born in late July, and your second twin born in July of the next year… if your oldest wasn’t ready to get to school yet they’d end up starting at the same time.

The best tip for mothers of Irish Twins is this….

Corralling.

Soon, you’ll have a toddler and a crawler and you’ll want to keep them contained. Independent play time is a great way to get some alone time (for them and you!) but when they’re out and about, keep them contained.

A moment in the life of Irish twins…

irish twins sitting in the fisher price car together

My little Irish twins getting into the little tykes car for a fun ride.

Oh, one wants to turn and the other is wondering if this is a good idea. Tensions are getting high.

And there we go. Thick as thieves and fighting like cats and dogs. Typical Irish twins.

You’ve got this, mama

These early years are not for the faint of heart and – at times – you may end up discouraged.

But take heart.

The days are long, but the years are short.

FAQs about Irish Twins

Are babies 13 months apart Irish twins?

Technically, Irish twins are babies born within a year of each other. However, some documents say babies born within 18 months of each other are Irish twins.

What are Dutch twins or Catholic twins?

Similar to the term Irish twins, it’s babies born very close together in age.

What is an Irish triplet?

Three babies born in 3 years. I had 5 babies in 5 years so, I guess I had Irish Quintuplets?

Do Irish twins have a special connection?

In general that depends on the kids, their home environment, and their personalities, but yes! Siblings close in age have many shared experiences, are developmentally close, and can continue to bond and enjoy each other’s company throughout their whole childhood without one seeming u0022babyishu0022 to the other.

How do you have Irish twins?

To be able to have Irish twins you’ll need to conceive your second child within a few months of delivering your first child. Because they are within a year or so of each other (some say within 18 months, but that’s less common) you’ll need to conceive rather quickly.

Where did the term “Irish twins” come from?

The origin of this term is not entirely clear, but it has been used in English-speaking countries for many years. One theory suggests that the term may have its roots in the historical patterns of Irish immigration to the United States and other English-speaking countries in the 19th and early 20th centuries. During this time, Irish immigrants often had large families, and it was not uncommon for Irish families to have children in quick succession.

What are the financial considerations of having Irish twins?

While each family’s finances are unique, having kids close in age comes with some added costs. Some things to consider are childcare costs (if needed), medical expenses associated with birth, transportation, and diapers and baby supplies.

What are some common misconceptions about Irish twins?

1. Siblings Will Have Similar Developmental Milestones: While close-in-age siblings may share some developmental milestones at similar times, it’s not guaranteed that they will have identical developmental trajectories. Each child is unique and may reach milestones at their own pace.
2. Parents of Irish Twins Are Always Overwhelmed: While the demands of raising two very young children close in age can be challenging, not all parents of Irish twins are overwhelmed. Many families successfully navigate this situation with planning and support.

2-Year-Old Sleep Regression – Common Signs & Guaranteed Solutions

If you’ve got 2 year old sleep regression going on, read this post and get some simple solutions to help you get back to restful naps and evenings. If you previously did sleep training and now it seems to have reverted, keep reading.

This might be the refrain going through your head…

“My 2 year old won’t sleep. Why won’t he sleep? Why does he keep waking up? And why does he take so long to go to bed?”

You are wondering how you had a baby who was sleep well and then BAM they turned 2 and now they’re singing God Bless America for an hour from their dark room instead of going to bed.

Or maybe that’s just us.

You might have arrived at the age of 2 and felt you were in the clear, out of the woods having time to breathe, with your little one sleeping all night … then the 2 year old sleep regression creeps up.

Well, the good news is you’re not alone.

Read: 5 Truths About Parenting Toddlers — That We Tend To Forget

Common 2 Year Old Sleep Regression Reasons

Here are some of the common reasons little ones stop sleeping well at 2 years of age and what you can do about it. Remember, a regression is when your child previously slept well and has stopped.

If your little one has never slept well and is now 2, that’s not a regression. That’s a sign your toddler is ready to learn how to sleep well independently.

The 2 year old sleep regression can be mastered with little to no tears!

2 Year Olds Act Like They Want To Stop Napping

I’ve heard time and time again that moms drop their 2 year old’s nap because they start fighting it.

This is where we focus on their needs, not their wants.

2 year olds need a nap during the day to get them through until bedtime. The key is to realize your baby has need for a nap and to take your little one to naptime every single day you’re home.

If they know it is not a choice, but a requirement, they spend less time fighting it.

Choose a logical time (after lunch for example) then create a nice wind down routine and make nap happen. Even if it takes your toddler a little longer to fall asleep, they still need that time of rest.

12 Medical Reasons Your Baby’s Not Sleeping (With Symptoms Of Each)

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

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Don’t Move Them To A Toddler Bed Just Yet… 2-Year-Olds Often Aren’t Ready

My 3 year old still sleeps in a crib.

Why?

Because he’s never asked for a bed, he’s still working on his self-control, and most importantly, because there’s no “rule” of when you need to move your little one to a bed.

Many mothers move their toddlers to a toddler bed super early and these are common results…

Fights naps
Gets out of the bed frequently
Comes out of the bed or their bedroom at night
Wakes up early and comes out of their room

If you have a 2 year old in a sleep regression doing these behaviors and nothing seems to work, I recommend bringing the crib back (or borrowing one if you’ve already donated yours) until your child has enough self-control to stay in bed when asked to.

If you’ve already moved your child into a toddler bed and they come out multiple times, but you don’t want put the crib back, I recommend getting a gate like the ones below for their door. Or bells!

If you are a deep sleeper and your child won’t stay in their bed then this actually becomes a safety issue.

Read These While You’re At It

Is Sleep Training A Baby Bad Or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

7 Reasons Your Baby Still Wakes Up At Night – And What To Do

Bedtime Battles: How To Avoid Stalling, Tantrums, & Constant Questions

2 Year Olds Take Forever To Fall Asleep

2 year olds need slightly less sleep than 1 year olds, as a general rule. If your little one is taking long naps they may not be as tired at your toddler’s normal bedtime. Sure, you can move it back 15 to 30 minutes and test it out if you want.

That said…

Just because they take a long time to fall asleep at night doesn’t mean you need to put them to bed a lot later, but you may need to tweak naptime.

Instead of letting them sleep until 4 p.m., you may wake your toddler up around 3:30 p.m. for example.

If they are taking a bit of time in their own bed to fall asleep, but they are happy, then you’re probably fine.

They may use that time to play with their stuffed animals, sing, or even talk to themselves. This can actually be a healthy time for them to process what they’ve learned that day.

You may adjust their sleep times gradually when you notice they take longer to go to sleep, but don’t make drastic changes.

2 Year Olds Can Have Bedtime Anxiety

2 year olds are much more imaginative than little ones. This is both fun for them and slightly scary. You may find your little ones who previously went to sleep in a pitch black room now need a night light.

Also, at this age, toddlers can start experiencing separation anxiety. They are more nervous to be separated from you and want a bit more attention in the evening to feel connected and safe as they drift off to sleep. Sometimes separation anxiety can lead to sleep regressions for toddlers.

As parents, we need to validate our children’s feelings, not minimize them. You can do this by using Say What You See^® with your child.

Phrases like the following do not help alleviate anxiety, so don’t bother with them.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
“Don’t be silly.”
“You’re fine, don’t worry.”

These phrases are the same to a child as the phrase “everything happens for a reason” is to an adult who is going through something crappy.

They don’t help and – also likely – they make things worse because our feelings are being invalidated.

Read: The 10 Second Trick to Help Toddlers Conquer Fear of the Dark

Curious Behaviors That Come With Toddler Teething

Parenting in Hard Times

Parenting through a crisis feels heavy—but you don’t have to do it alone. This workshop gives you a clear plan to bring stability, emotional safety, and strength to your family when life gets shaky. Because in hard times, your kids need a steady, loving guide.

Start Now

Phrases That’ll Help Your Toddler Relax

“You feel scared right now, you don’t want mommy to leave.” | This doesn’t mean you won’t eventually go, but you are giving voice to your child’s desire.
“You think there’s a monster and you don’t like monsters!” | Honestly, you don’t need to convince your child there aren’t monsters. It’s like trying to convince someone the earth is flat. They don’t want to listen to reason. But more importantly, they know there aren’t really monsters. The quickest way to help calm a child is to acknowledge what they’re feeling scared about.

“I love you, you are safe.” | This is powerful to a child since they view you as So Big and themselves as So Small.

Toddler regressions happen due to teething

When your child gets their 2-year molars life gets tough.

They are fussy, irritable, and seem like a different child.

Teething may last a month or two at this time and it’s important not to drop naps and let bedtime move back later and later as a result.

Find a pain management strategy that works for your little one and keep naps and bedtime consistent.

If you aren’t sure if they’re teething or not, then give a dose of pain relief (whatever your pediatrician suggests) and see if sleep improves. This is how I’m usually able to rule out – or rule in – teething. If they take ibuprofen and then sleep a full nap for a day or two… I know it’s teething.

Give them something to bite or chew on and keep the routine steady.

Read These While You’re At It

An Easy Peasy 2-Year-Old Routine That Works Every Time

Teach Your Toddler to Follow the Routine… A No-Nagging Method

One Common Reason Your 2 Year Old Is Not Napping (A Major 2 Year Old Sleep Regression Complaint!)

And I saved the least favorite for last…

2 year olds often go through sleep regressions because they are coming into their own minds.

They don’t want to miss out. They don’t want to stop playing. And they don’t want to be still. They don’t want to rest while other family members keep doing what they were doing.

They are starting to assert their wants.

Toddler years are great training ground for adults in our mental parenting game. Here’s where we must step back and evaluate our kids’ wants vs. needs.

They want to play, but they need to sleep. Don’t bother trying to reason with your little ones because they can’t. Offer as many choices throughout the day that you want, but don’t let nap time be a choice.

Here’s what to do when your toddler is fighting sleep…

Your little one is really growing up around this age. A lot of changes are taking place in their bodies and minds. More than likely your toddler is not ready to give up this nap, they just need to work through a few things.

Validate your child’s feelings.

Keep your limits and boundaries firm.

This regression, too, shall pass.

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

How To Get Through A 2-Year-Old Sleep Regression

Don’t assume your child is ready to drop naps because they fight naps.
Have your child lie down for “rest time” even if they say they don’t want to nap.
Consider tweaking nap times to be a bit later and then waking up your toddler by late afternoon.
Continue to put your toddler down for bed at a reasonable hour, even if it takes them a bit to wind down.
Persevere and you’ll often find your 2 year old begin napping and sleeping well again.

There’s more…

Baby bedtime can begin to feel like an actual nightmare. You just want baby to sleep well.

You just want to have some peace and quiet after a long day of momming and yet you are spending so much time trying to comfort an exhausted baby and wondering where it all went to pot.

Because moms with babies are busy (and tired) I created a set of nitty gritty baby sleep checklists that get straight to the point.

What to look for if your baby is sick.
And what to check if your baby won’t sleep at night.
What to do if your baby won’t go back to sleep at night.
And so much more!

How long does the 2 year regression last?

It can last anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks. The key is to remain consistent, don’t give up on the need for sleep, and move bedtime up slightly if your toddler is tired, and not freak out.

What causes regressions in toddlers?

Developmental changes, new sibling in the family, moving, parental stress, going to daycare, a stressful experience, lax and unpredictable routines, etc.

Can you let a 2 year old cry it out?

Cry it out is a method used by many moms to help teach their little ones to self-soothe. If your little one is well fed and tired, you can remain near your child as they learn to self-settle into nap or bedtime.

Why is my 2 year old waking up crying?

Toddlers who are overtired will often wake up crying. They don’t transition well between sleep cycles and wake up fussy instead of well rested. Answer? Enforce naps and early bedtimes.

What time should a 2 year old go to bed?

Aim for 7 o’clock, and no later than 8. A later bedtime will contribute to night terrors and overtiredness. This will make your toddler more frustrated during the day and less cooperative.

Is it okay for a 2 year old not to nap?

Typically 2 year olds still need naps. They may need their nap shortened so they are still hungry at bedtime, but don’t wean the afternoon nap yet.

How can I force my toddler to nap?

Choose a time each day for a nap. 1 p.m. is a typical time. At that time, put your toddler to sleep with a good wind down nap ritual. If your child doesn’t sleep, but will rest or play quietly with books or toys, let them do that. At least they will have down time.

Sources:

3 Reasons You Should (And Shouldn’t) Go to Church Every Sunday

Do you feel like you have to go to church every single Sunday? Or on the other hand, do you never want to go? Here are 3 reasons you should (and 3 reasons you shouldn’t) go to church.

It’s Sunday morning.

The pipes have a leak.

The car has broken down.

#3 has diarrhea.

#4 couldn’t let #3 have all the bathroom attention.

You haven’t slept in 3 nights and next week you’re moving house, but… by golly… you will not miss church.

……………

It’s Sunday morning.

There’s nothing on the agenda.

You’ve read your Bible this week.

Life is going great and it’s a beautiful day.

Since this is the day the Lord has made let’s fully enjoy it at the park.

God is everywhere, not in a building.

You’re not bound by the law… Jesus came to set you free.

…..

You see, there are a few ways to think about it.

Clearly those who just go to church on Easter and Christmas aren’t really bothered. They go for tradition, to see some cute kids in the church play, or to make sure and hit the calendar highlights of the Christian religion.

However, there are those who feel compelled from within to go to church every single Sunday. They never miss. Sickness, health, vacation, or life trauma. They are there without fail.

On the opposite end there are those who believe in Jesus Christ yet do not prioritize Sunday morning church.

They don’t think church means a building (technically it doesn’t), they think they can maintain an active relationship with Jesus Christ without regular fellowship, and they don’t feel constrained to attend because of legalism.

So who’s right? Well… it’s hard to say. But instead of looking for answers, let’s ask ourselves some questions.

Setting Your Family Pace

Family life shouldn’t feel like a constant race. This workshop helps you build a balanced, sustainable pace that handles responsibilities while making space for rest, connection, and what really matters.

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Is there a mansion in heaven for perfect attendance?

Diligence, perseverance, and consistency are surely virtues. But does going to church every single Sunday without fail make you more spiritual? Does foregoing home groups and bible study for a season mean you are backsliding in your faith?

Clearly many people think so or this wouldn’t be controversial. But I want to say that I don’t believe perfect attendance is the goal. “Perfect attendance” does not take into account seasons or circumstances.

If you feel compelled to attend every single Sunday without fail then you should ask yourself…

Is it false guilt?

False guilt has nothing to do with what’s true or accurate, but is usually the fear of disapproval in disguise. This is particularly prevalent among Christians who take matters of the heart and conscience seriously and tend to find reasons to feel guilty when there are none (source).

If you are worried others will think you’re a slacker or God will take your name from the book of life because you skipped church for a few Sundays, this is false guilt.

Where is it coming from? When did it start? Is missing one Sunday (or even one Sunday a month) a sin? What is the biblical basis for that and how can it be quantified?

If you are going to a Bible Study, prayer group, Sunday morning and Sunday night service, which ones can you skip (or not skip) and not be sinning? It’s a big rabbit hole of guilt, but not the healthy kind.

Read: Surprising Root Of Mom Guilt — And 4 Ways To Overcome It

Is church about me?

Sure we shouldn’t go to church because we feel falsely guilty, but we also shouldn’t determine whether or not we want to consistently go to church based on our own feelings. Why?

Well, it’s as they say… feelings make excellent servants, but terrible masters.

There is one thing people say (and I’ve been guilty of it myself) that really gets on my nerves. We use it to explain why we don’t want to go, didn’t go, or don’t like a church.

“I don’t get anything out of it.”

As I think about the times I’ve said this (which have been many) I feel a bit shameful. Of course we don’t need to stay in a church that has false teaching, where spiritual abuse abounds, or that’s dead as a door nail.

God gave us brains.

And yet… we don’t go to church to “get something” out of it. We go to church to “give something” to God. Our worship. A helping hand or encouragement to our brothers and sisters. To hear the Scripture broken down and discussed so we can put it into practice in our lives to glorify Christ.

Not to get some type of good feeling that lingers until approximately Monday morning when we want to bite off everyone’s head and spend the day alone in the basement with Netflix.

Is there a duty to legalistically attend church?

You don’t have a duty to your pastor to attend. You don’t have a duty to legalism to be sure that you never miss a Sunday, no matter if your children are ill or an urgent matter needs your attention.

You don’t owe taskmasters or control freaks in your church an explanation as to why you missed two Sundays last month.

But, instead of justifying why you don’t have to go to church because who are they to judge… ask yourself this question.

“Why don’t I want to go to church?“

Because if we consistently don’t want to go to church, there’s something there. It might be sin (ours or someone else’s). It might be misplaced priorities. It might be we don’t feel comfortable or safe in our church.

Or it might just be laziness because we got out of the habit.

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

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Here are 3 reasons we shouldn’t go to church every week:

You feel like something bad will happen if you don’t.
You worry others will disapprove.
You have church members or leadership who take attendance.

Here are 3 reasons we should go to church every week:

You enjoy worshiping God.
You feel compelled to encourage and serve your church family.
You want to hear teaching that convicts and inspires you.

“I know a man who brought his children to church every week even when they were ill. He would wake them from their deep slumber, the very medicine they needed to receive healing, and bring them to church with a fever, runny nose and tears.

That man was me.” (source)

Let’s stop being legalistic.

Let’s stop using freedom as license.

And let’s not determine our attendance based on what we “get out of” following God because, I hate to break it to you, what Jesus got out of following God’s will was death on a cross.

On second thought, Sunday brunch is looking pretty good right now…

What should I do if I consistently don’t want to go to church?

Take some time to evaluate why you don’t want to go and some possible root causes., Talk with your spouse or others you trust about how you feel and why, while you consider if there are things you can work to change your perception of church. Even if that means having difficult conversations, admitting your own sin, or finding a new church.

How can I resist giving into my feelings of false guilt for missing church?

Often we feel false guilt when we think we are letting other people, or God, down. The only way to combat this is to remind ourselves through reading and meditating on Scripture the promises of God, your identity in Christ, and God’s heart toward all those who trust in Him. All who are following Christ are accepted and loved by God and nothing can separate us from the love of God that is revealed through Christ Jesus our Lord, not even missing church (Romans 8:38-39).

The Easiest Way To Get Babies and Toddlers To Sleep Later (It Involves Feeding!)

Do your babies or toddlers wake up early? This is an awesome and easy trick to get them to sleep later in the mornings and from naps.

If there is one Nugget of Truth I could give to first time moms when they are pregnant… it would be this.

You can basically decide what time your baby will wake up for years to come.

No, I’m not kidding.

No, I’m not full of it.

Yes, I am serious.

You see, I’ve done it 5 times.

It’s not because I’m a mythical supermom or because I have it all together. It’s because I was told this one piece of advice that is just Golden and it works.

It works wonders.

It has worked with 4 babies that have 4 separate personalities and I want to make your life a little easier today and share it with you.

Here it is…

You’re dying, right?

JUST TELL ME, you are saying.

Okay fine, I’m 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant and can’t handle this suspense making.

➡️ The way you get your baby to wake up at a consistent time each morning is to feed them at that exact time every morning.

I’m going to dig into how this works with babies of various ages below, but suffice it to say… it’s that simple. It is so simple one might even call it a Hack.

Now, word of caution, if you have a 13 month old this will require a lot of consistency since their metabolism is likely set to a much earlier time. I start this with my newborns and that makes it easier. But still, there is hope!

Read: The Top 10 Indicators It’s Time to Sleep Train

Read: Is Sleep Training a Baby Bad or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

0-5

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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Getting Babies and Toddlers to Sleep In: The Easy Way

Now, this will change as toddlers grow up, drop naps, and change eating habits. And, of course, we know babies aren’t robots who confirm to our every whim.

That said, done consistently, this will help your children sleep later and it will help them be content if they wake early. Use our daily baby logs to start this process.

Read: Tips For Swaddling Baby At Night

Feed your baby or toddler every morning at the same time

It’s that simple. Choose a reasonable time each morning and feed your baby or give your toddler breakfast at this time.

The End.

Now, you may have to gradually move breakfast back until your desired time since they are not used to this new time, but it’s worth the effort.

If your baby is screaming the house down, of course, feed baby. However I’ve found babies wake early often and are content to play or be played with.

Do this for 15 minute increments or until you’re able to move breakfast back without having a seriously fussy baby or toddler on hand.

The reason this works? Their metabolism gets used to eating at that time and, at that time, they will wake up. It’s why you get hungry at noon if that’s your lunch break.

Babies will get used to being fed at a certain time (and not earlier) and they’ll gradually adjust until they wake up close to this time.

It’s why your stomach growls for a snack when you’re used to eating crackers at 3:30 pm.

Same for adults, same for babies.

Read: Feeding Baby Until One Year of Age

If you are nursing throughout the night, time your early morning feeding accordingly

So, for babies who are still nursing at night, this can seem a bit tricky, but it doesn’t have to be. If your baby normally feeds at 5:00 am and is tempted to stay awake… wake yourself up at 4:00 and feed them.

Don’t unswaddle baby if baby hasn’t swaddle weaned yet. Simply feed in a dark place without unswaddling, then put immediately back to bed.

Follow these tips with swaddling and basic night feeding good practices and then try to wait until your desired wake time to feed them again.

This may be 6:30 am or even 7.

If they generally feed every 2 or 3 hours at night and you want them to wake around 6:30 then feed them sometime between 3:30 and 4:30, even if they don’t wake up naturally.

You wake them up, feed them, then put them immediately back to sleep. No stimulation, no talking or cooing, simply feed your baby and put him right back down to bed.

Read These While You’re At It

The Baby Sleep Myth That Backfires (And Makes Overtired Babies!)

A No-Fuss Guide To Sleep Training (With Printable!)

Baby Bedtime: 4 Essential Elements To Success

Bedtime Battles: How To Avoid Stalling, Tantrums, & Constant Questions

If they wake early, try to delay breakfast until your desired time

With a toddler, if they wake very early do not give them breakfast yet. You can let them play quietly with books or soft toys in their bed or room and simply start having breakfast at the time you desire each morning.

With my babies, they’d often wake up a tad bit early depending on teething, the sun, and time changes.

However, unless they were going through a growth spurt and were truly starving at that early time (in which case I fed them) they were usually content to remain in the crib for a time playing, talking, or cooing.

This is a good sign!

It means with consistency they can learn to sleep later.

If your desired wake time is 7:30 a.m. and baby wakes at 7, don’t rush to feed. Let baby sing, play quietly, crawl, or start a slow morning routine. Try to hold off on feeding until 7:30.
If baby is crying from hunger, feed baby. The goal is to get to the desired wake time and gradually will work as well. Add a few more minutes each day until you get there.

Wind-down Routines Guaranteed to Help Your Baby Sleep

Smooth Start Morning Routines

Mornings don’t have to feel like a mad dash of lost shoes, whining, and cold coffee. Here’s a simple, no-nag plan to get kids up, ready, and out the door on time — without the rage.

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Allow play in the crib or bed until time to eat

This may seem like a stretch to you, but allowing my babies to play happily in their cribs until our normal wake time has been a lifesaver.

➡️ If you’re a tired mom, you need to grab hold of this.

Its okay for your baby to play in their crib for 20 minutes before you feed them. Our normal wake time is 7:30 am. Does this mean every child wakes at 7:30 am each day? No.

Some kids wake around 6:45 and play on their bed until I come. Sometimes they all sleep until 8:00 a.m. Regardless, unless there’s a growth spurt or we’re leaving the house early, no one eats until 7:30 a.m.

And, before you send me hate mail, they are okay with this and no one is crying. In fact, we often push breakfast back until 8:00 because everyone is milling about in their rooms or playing.

It’s all about consistency and offering breakfast at a set time each day.

Give big bedtime snacks if necessary

This is the name of the game. As soon as your baby is eating solids, be sure to give them a hearty bedtime snack before (or after) nursing at bedtime.

This will often help them sleep another hour later each morning. I did this regularly with my first three kids, but when I had my 4th I was so busy with the Bedtime Routine that the snack slipped my mind.

When he didn’t get a snack, he’d wake up as much as one hour early! So if you know your kids are waking up starved, give them a hearty and filling bedtime snack that can help carry them over later in the morning.

If you have a baby, cluster feed in the late afternoon hours then offer a dream feed before you drift off to sleep.

Read These While You’re At It

2-Year-Old Sleep Regression – Common Signs & Guaranteed Solutions

Baby Bedtime: 4 Essential Elements To Success

Be consistent (but not legalistic)

This is pretty much applicable in all of parenting.

We want to be consistent. Communicate our values. Keep our boundaries firm so the kids feel secure. Not be willy nilly changing our minds, changing the rules, and surprising our kids with “Don’t Do That!” when yesterday we allowed it.

And yet, sometimes we have to go with the flow.

Growth spurts mean feeding when they are hungry. Time changes mean sleep disruptions. Being in survival mode means doing what it takes to survive. That is okay, that is fine. That is right. Keep consistent with your goals, but be willing to read your children and meet their needs in a flexible way.

As they say…

“Blessed are the flexible. They don’t break when bent.”

How do I train my kids to stay in their rooms until I come and get them in the mornings?

Practice, consistency, and positive reinforcement. If your children are used to coming out of their rooms early, transition them gradually. Start by extending the time they stay in their rooms by just a few minutes each day until they reach the desired wake-up time. Have some things for them to quietly read or play with until breakfast time to keep them busy. There are some clocks on the market that have red and green lights to indicate when kids can leave their rooms if they need a visual reminder.

What do I do if my child’s growth spurt is over, but they are having a hard time adjusting back to the ideal breakfast time?

Start back at the beginning by remaining consistent in breakfast times. Move breakfast back in 15 or 20 minute increments each day until you are serving breakfast at your ideal time.

7 Things To Do When The Kids Get Too Noisy

Kids are loud. They are awesome and fun and wild and crazy and flipping loud. We love hearing loud squeals of joy and delight from our kids, but our nervous systems can only take so much noise. And if you’re nervous system is sensitive to loud noises, then you’ve got to have some tools in your toolbelt to help get the kids quiet. Here are some ways you can get that noise down when it becomes too much for you.

My husband laughed when I told him.

“I’m a highly sensitive person.”

It’s rare for him to give me a look like that.

You see, I’m a Type A wife and mom, and we are generally not sensitive. We are, in fact, quite the opposite. But that wasn’t my point. I’m not talking about being sensitive towards other people…

Read: What To Do When Your Kids Talk Nonstop

But sensitive to my environment.

I have great patience for many things, but screaming/squealing/yelling is not one of them.

In fact, it is like a trigger for me. In fact, it’s a super common parenting trigger.

When I hear screaming my heart starts beating very fast and I start feeling angry. I know. It’s weird. Luckily, this has toned down a bit since having children… 5 kids in 5 years means there is a lot of noise in our home.

But still… the noise gets to me. Especially if it’s loud whining, screaming, or unhappy squealing. So, in an effort to be a calm mom, I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

Read: 15 Ways To Keep Kids Busy When You Need To Get Things Done

Daily Strategies, Tips & Consequences When The Kids Get Too Loud

Little girl being super loud and noisy jumping on bed

“Relax time”

When things are getting out of control, everyone is yelling, the baby is making paths with toilet paper, and I am Past the Point, one of my first “go to” tricks is to have Relax Time with the kids.

I talk about it at length here, but the gist is this: have your kids take a seat, get some books, and read them quietly. This even works with my 2-year-old son.

Read: A Calm Down Trick That Works Wonders With Toddlers

little girl relaxing and reading book on bed with a cat

Independent play time

We are firm believers that kids need to learn to play on their own.

For various reasons. Children learn to use their imaginations, develop problem-solving and decision-making skills, and are essentially train themselves not to get bored so easily.

When your kids are all fussy fighting, and whining a good tool is to give them independent play right then and there. Or, schedule a daily Quiet Play Time into their routine.

They can go to their own rooms or, if they share a room (a must read for small ones room sharing), one can go outside or even to your room with some toys.

This will bring everyone nearly an hour of peace and the kids love it since no one is taking their toys!

Read: Life Skills For Kids By Age (With Printables!)

Sticky Routines System

Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

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Practice “give me a minute”

Kids are not really born knowing you’re about to lose the grip on your emotions. They see you fly off the handle, sure enough, but they don’t really know why until we train and explain.

I have worked hard to teach my kids what I mean when I say “give me a minute.” I need a bit of silence, some time alone (even if it’s in the bathroom with my Bai), and for the to refrain from whining, fussing, or fighting.

Once they’ve understood, they really do get it.

Read: Modern Life Is Too Busy – How To Slow Your Family’s Pace

stressed out mom with her head on the table because of her too loud and noisy kids

Send the kids outside

I am a huge proponent of outside play.

It’s open, free, and the fresh air does everyone good. During rainy weeks, the winter, and seasons where we just get outside less, I find some good lengthy time outdoors helps to calm everyone down.

We have a fenced in area just for the kids to play in, and I’ll often send them outside to play while I watch from a window inside. They get to be loud, I don’t have to hear it. Win win.

Read: Tips To Get (And Keep) The Kids Outside

Have a crazy “get it out” fest

When things are tense and you’re all about to lose it, why not have a concentrated time of yelling and screaming just to get it out?

You can use the timer and say “for 3 minutes we’re going to make as much noise as possible then we will….”

Let them bang pots, yell, scream, jump up and down, and make a big racket. Then tell them that’s enough and you mean it.

Weary To Well

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kids dancing to get out their wiggles and energy

Use the timer

The timer can be a mom’s best friend. Since we children respond well to boundaries and actually become more insecure the more open ended things are, a timer works wonders.

You can say “Okay, for another 10 minutes you can play freely and then we are going to do xyz.”

You can tell everyone to sit still for 5 minutes until the timer goes off to collect themselves. You can send everyone to their rooms to cool off for a set time. The possibilities are endless.

But a timer is a great way to transition from one activity (or lack of activity) to another one.

Read: Timer – A Mom’s Best Friend

Put on praise music

This surprised me when it was suggested by another. Surely music won’t just calm everyone down, I thought. And no, any random music might not, but praise music works wonders here.

When mealtimes become too loud or I start to get angry because of disruptions or endless whining, I will turn on praise music.

And I’ll put it up loud. This serves two functions: it initially drowns out their noise and it gives them (and me) something to focus on.

What role does routine play in managing noise?

Routines help to create rhythms throughout the day so that our days have shape and structure. Structure and routines help to break up noisy activities, so they aren’t occurring all. day. long. Routines also create predictability and expectations for each part of the day.

What are quiet alternatives to screen time?

Independent play, reading books, rest time, activities like LEGO or coloring, time spent outside. The sky is the limit here. Have fun creating activities that your kids enjoy and are invested in so that screen time doesn’t become the only quiet time in your home.

35 Simple Ways To Love Your Child In Everyday Life

Inside: Sometimes we can get so caught up in doing larger things we forget children just need the simple stuff. Here are 35 simple ways to really love your child.

A mother loves her child in so many ways throughout the day. There are the obvious things that may not scream “I love you” but that are fundamental to the loving role as a mother.

These are things like providing a loving environment, cuddling, feeding, clothing, and giving shelter to your kids.

It’s a mother’s privilege to love and provide for their child, but often we can be so busy doing this we forget to show love in little ways.

a mother hugging a girl showing love for her child

Or, depending on our personalities, we can often get so busy showing love in these fundamental ways that we overlook the opportunities throughout the day to show love in simple ways.

In real tangible ways our children immediately respond to.

35 simple ways to love your child in the every day

Give them hugs (and don’t let go too quickly.)
Read them chapter books they can look forward to daily.
Leave a note in their lunchbox.
Give a kiss on the top of the head when you walk past.
Notice something they’ve put effort into.
Get eye level with your children when you’re speaking to them.
Say “I love you.“

Read: What Unconditional Love Is And Isn’t

a little boy and girl kissing their moms cheek, mom showing love for her child

Start and keep family traditions like movie night.
Let small ones sit on your lap and rock.
Hold hands.
Give piggy back rides.
Spending alone time with each child, even as short as 10 minutes will mean a lot.
Display their artwork or writing for others to see.

Read: Relationship Building Questions To Ask Kids (With Printable!)

Rooted in Family

Family life shouldn’t feel like a blur of to-do lists that leave you wondering if the memories are even sticking. This workshop helps you define your family’s core values and create simple, meaningful traditions that bring everyone closer without adding pressure.

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redhead mother hugging her toddler son showing her love for him

Give age appropriate privileges that show you trust them.
Pray with them about their future.
Look them in the eyes often and smile.
Do simple activities with them like coloring, painting, or building Lego.
Give them your undivided attention for a time, even if there are other things to be done.
Have a fun time in the kitchen baking a cake, cupcakes, or cookies.

Read: The Key To Being A Calm Mom, No Matter How You Feel

More ways to love your child without grand gestures

Ask them something they’d like to do and then do it together.
Put away your phone, tablet, and computer.
Surprise them in little ways.
Lay with them before bedtime and listen.
Have a dress up dance party and act silly.
Play board games together. Here’s a big list of family favorite board games.
Remember special moments and then have family “inside jokes.”

Read: Enjoy Being A Mother Again With These 4 Stress Relieving Mindsets

Setting Your Family Pace

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mother on beach holding baby showing the child her love

These things show your child love as well

Brush your little girl’s hair or twirl your boy’s hair.
Have a “yes” day where you answer “yes” to all reasonable requests.
Daydream and begin to plan a future family vacation or day trip.
Share something unique you love about each child.
Ask them something they are struggling with and brainstorm solutions together.

Read: Why Moms Lose Their Identity & How To Get It Back

Make their favorite meal.
Leave a love note on their bedside table they can see when they wake up.
Make them fun IOU’s with their favorite things to do.
Praise your husband about their behavior in their presence.

It can seem overwhelming at times, the role of motherhood, but children truly respond to simple gestures done in love.

Let’s go forth today, mama, and love our little ones simply!

How do I show love to each child when I have multiple kids?

Creating special memories together with each child based on their individual interests is a good place to start. I like to have simple rhythms in my day for me to connect with each child, even if it’s just for a few minutes. For example, staggering nap times by a few minutes so that I can snuggle with each child before they go to sleep. The more kids you have, the more creative you have to be but it’s possible!

How do I tailor my expressions of love to my child’s personality?

Kids have love languages just like adults, so it can be helpful to show love according to how each child receives love. Pay attention to what makes your kids’ eyes light up and do more of that. Is it quality time? Words of affirmation? This may be different for every child.

What to do when my child rejects the love I give?

This rejection doesn’t necessarily mean that the child doesn’t love you or that you’re doing something wrong. Children go through various developmental stages and may express their emotions differently at different times. This can be so hard, but it doesn’t mean we stop showing love. Determine how your child receives love and adjust how you’re connecting with them to meet their emotional needs.

Want a Big Family? Consider These Things First…

Are you considering having a lot of kids close together in age or having a big family? This post will help you think on all the angles.

When you can no longer fit your whole family into a sedan… that’s when I consider it “big.”

When you can barely squeeze in a large booth at a restaurant.

And when you start getting stares at the grocery store and people wonder if you’re running a daycare.

A nurse who helped deliver my last two babies said, in her mind, a big family started at 5 kids.

But I believe she had 7 kids which I class as an “extra large” family so there you have it.

Size matters.

It matters on the type of vehicle you have to drive, the size of house you might choose to live in, the amount of money you’ll spend on groceries, how many times you have to double a recipe, and the noise level in your home.

Just to name a few things.

If you’re considering having a lot of kids, however you define that, then I hope this post will help you think it through.

Should I Have a Lot of Kids?

Full disclosure: I have 5 kids and could not imagine my life without all of them. To me, obvs, big families rock.

Husbands… if you only want one or two kids and your wife is letting you read this… don’t send me hate mail. 🙂

It’s Not an Exponent, but It is a Multiple

Having no kids to having one child is a huge change. Having two instead of having one is less severe.

And having 4 instead of 3 is more, but not exponentially more. You’re already changing diapers, reading bedtime stories, cutting up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and handling tantrums.

Now you’re just doing it with more kids.

family photo on the porch with parents and five kids

People say that after 3 kids it’s a nuthouse. I personally believe the nuthouse begins at 4 kids. For what it’s worth.

Two you’re already outnumbered.

Three you’ve got to keep a firm grasp to run a tight ship.

Four requires an razor sharp brain and the ability to ignore some things you don’t like.

Read: Daily Schedule for 4 Kids Aged 4 and Under

Christmas Tree Shopping ???

A photo posted by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Dec 3, 2016 at 8:58am PST

You Must Be (Or Learn to Be) A Major Majorer As A Big Family Manager

If you are the type of person that needs everything a certain way or you don’t function, you either need to refrain from having a large family or you need to follow Elsa’s lead and Let It Go.

I personally chose (by force) to Let It Go. I still love order, still want kids who mind and obey, but I’ve learned to Major in the Majors and Minor in the Minors.

For us this looks like:

Starting and ending the day with a tidy enough house, but not running behind my kids all day to clean up
Letting kids dress themselves because it saves work. If it doesn’t match or it’s highwater and it isn’t church or a family photo, I don’t care.
Loosening the grip on some rules and doing away with others altogether. I don’t mind if they run in the house if they’re playing, for example.

Read: The Stay At Home Mom Schedule That’ll Keep You Sane

Rooted in Family

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big family with five kids hugging in front of a whooville picture

Your Home and Life Will Not Look the Same With A Big Family

If you have one or two kids and are still hanging on to the vestiges of pre-mamahood… those will be done away with when you have a large family.

For starters, you cannot maintain tight control on everything with so many kids.

It’s just impossible.

Two, by nature of the fact you have a lot of kids you just won’t have as much time. Three, good luck finding someone who will babysit all the kids if you want to be gone during meal or bedtimes.

At least, good luck finding someone to do it often.

Your home can still be tidy, but imagine how big of a mess one toddler makes? Multiply that by 5 and, even if your kids know they must clean up after themselves, if you interrupt them mid-play the house looks like an episode of Hoarders.

You can still have drop zones, good organization, and good home systems, but your home will look like children live there.

Because they do.

Read: The Non-Obvious Reason Your Home is Chaotic

Setting Your Family Pace

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Big Family Energy Exists… Can You Handle It?

You know you can go out with a group of friends or go to an event somewhere and you feel that energy?

That energy that says “Something is happening. Tonight is going to be fun.”

Well, with a large family, that excitement is the norm. It always feels like something is happening. In fact, many things are always happening.

I can sense it myself and other kids most definitely sense it. When one child comes over and all 4 of my (mobile) kids run up to this child smiling huge grins and welcoming them…

I can feel that child feel it.

It’s a sense of excitement, energy, and movement. If you are a quiet introverted type, this may be a struggle. Or it may just mean you get better at finding time for yourself in the everyday.

When you wake up on the Wrongest Side of the Bed and the only remedy is making all the kids match #momof4 #SundayStruggles #momofmany #momofboys #caboosebaby

A photo posted by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Jun 26, 2016 at 8:21am PDT

Food Shopping Is No Joke For Big Families…

A dear friend is married to one of four boys. He said his mom would cook a normal sized dinner then throw a loaf of bread and some butter on the table to tell the kids to fill up.

This is life with a lot of kids.

They eat and eat and eat and eat and you better cook from scratch and let them go hungry sometimes or you’ll spend $356,346 on groceries a month.

We do pretty well and don’t overspend the budget most months, but it is a factor. If you hate cooking from scratch and tripling recipes and want to cook every meal with nice cuts of meat and fancy fixins… it gets a bit cost prohibitive with a lot of mouths to feed.

When you buy groceries for 7 people for 1 month and it takes 3 carts, 2 grandparents, 1 baby carrier and a #cando attitude. #momof5

A photo posted by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Dec 1, 2016 at 10:25am PST

There is Less Time Per Child In a Big Family

Most moms really want to spend one on one time with their kids. We love our little ones and want the to feel special, included, and cherished.

The more kids you have the more creative you have to be. You have to capitalize on the little moments throughout the day.

You don’t have as much time for grand gestures with each child.

It’s possible, but it isn’t as easy.

On the other hand, the kids are not sitting around lonely either. Even times when I’m wanting to spend individual time with one child, they often want to bring a sibling!

I like to take one child with me on errands as much as possible. This is one way to fit it in. I have a friend who lets one child per night stay up half an hour later to have time with the parents.

Each family is different, but you have to make it happen whereas when you only have one or two children, it happens naturally.

If you are wondering how many kids is the right number or if you can really handle it, I want to assure you.

You’ll know.

You’ll feel it inside.

And no matter what, you can handle it.

Is 3 kids considered a big family?

If you only have 2 kids, then 3 seems like a lot. To “large families” 3 kids isn’t a lot, and a family is typically considered big with 4 kids or more. But this is all opinion 🙂

What are the advantages of a large family?

Lots of built in playmates, chances to learn sharing, responsibility, and getting along with others. More people to love!

How do you manage a big family?

With home systems, organization, and distribution of chores and household tasks. Lots of life skills learned.

Are big families happier?

Well, that depends on the family. Big families aren’t necessarily any happier than small families, depends on the people.

What is the perfect amount of kids?

Well, that totally depends on how many kids your budget can handle, your emotions can handle, and your level of sanity can handle.

Are parents happier with only one child?

Depends on the parents :). Some parents want one child but feel a lot of guilt since their child doesn’t have a built in play mate, etc. Lonely onlies end up just fine, but some parents suffer being worried about it.

What are the consequences of a large family?

Less money, less time, more people’s hearts and minds to cultivate, and generally a louder and more rambunctious home. This may be good or bad to you 🙂

What is the ideal age gap between siblings?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as what works best for one family may not be the same for another. Here are some considerations to help determine the ideal age gap between siblings: maternal age, how many kids you ideally want to have, circumstances around pregnancy and birth, and sibling dynamics.

How does our personal desire and capacity factor into how many kids we have?

Your desire and capacity to be parents of many kids is a fundamental factor to consider. If you don’t desire to have a big family, then don’t. This is all a matter of personal preference and you have the freedom to choose the size of your family (most of the time anyway!)

Silent Warning Signs for Child Abuse and What To Do About It

There are silent warning signs of child abuse that you can take note of. Learn to recognize the signs and what to do about it here:

While I pray your child has not experienced abuse at the hands of anyone, I still think it’s important we recognize the signs.

We can and should remain switched on to changes in our children’s behavior. We should also be able to recognize it in others.

Because I’m passionate about protecting children, I’m actually vigilant in watching for signs in other children I know.

I have a personal friend who was abused by someone in his own family until one of his friends noticed, told her parents, and the parents questioned him point blank.

Until that point, he’d been abused in silence.

Since then, I have been watching.

We can all learn the signs and cue into the warning tells. Let’s start here:

Behavioral Signs Child Abuse Has Occurred

If a child exhibits one of these signs that does not mean abuse has occurred. However, if they begin to exhibit quite a few of these it is likely time to see help.

Silent Warning Signs for Child Abuse and What To Do About It

Parenting in Hard Times

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Specific signs a child may have been abused may include:

According to Tip Sheet, these symptoms may also occur during times in a child’s life. Times such as of divorce, death of a family member, trauma at home or school, or problems with friends.

Sudden changes in eating habits | When a child stops eating, loses their appetite, or begins overeating this is often a sign of a traumatic event.

Has new words for body parts | If your child refers to body parts in words other than what the family uses, start asking questions.

Starts exhibiting mood swings | Children may start acting uncharacteristically anxious, angry, aggressive, or begin withdrawing.

Begins seeing (or even drawing) sexual images | Kids may begin having nightmares or even drawing images that are clearly sexual in nature.

Suddenly resists removing or changing clothes during appropriate times | Is now sensitive to even mother or father removing clothes for reasons like bath time, diaper change, or the toilet. (source)

More signs abuse may have occurred may be:

Your child develops a fear of certain people, situations, or places | If your child suddenly is terrified to see certain people, this is a sign. If they are afraid to go to certain locations, or engage in certain activities start asking questions (source).

The child starts having sleeping issues | Sleep disturbances are a common symptom of trauma of any kind. When sleep becomes extremely difficult, this is a warning sing.

A child starts talking about a new (older) friend | Even if the child is not telling you something has occurred, bringing up the friend could be their way of trying to reveal the issue to you.

There is regression to younger behaviors | Again, a symptom of trauma in general.

Self-harming behaviors | If you notice your child is engaging in self-harming behaviors. Behaviors such as cutting, burning, pulling hair, or other harmful activities this is a major red flag.

Questions to Ask Kids if You Think They May Have Been Abused

But it may not always be obvious, here are some questions you can ask to draw out a response.

Are there situations where you don’t feel safe?

Has anyone ever asked to touch your (specific body part)?

Do you feel safe (in specific location)?

Here are Some More Questions and an interesting perspective on how good parents can miss abuse.

Boundaries & Behavior

Loving Authority

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quote by judith herman that help us understand the warning signs of child abuse

What To Do If You Suspect Child Abuse In Someone You Know

Here are a few things you can do to begin to draw out the potential abuse and report it to the proper authorities.

Find a safe place and time to ask your child questions | Use a calm tone so the child does not feel like he or she is in trouble. Don’t attach judgment or emotion to your questions, but speak at their level. “Has someone touched you [here]?”

Reassure your child they are not in trouble | Children may have been threatened to keep secret and now feel confusion and fear. Be careful to comfort them and let them know they are not at fault.

Other ways to support a child you fear may have been abused:

Inform the child, if appropriate | You may want to explain to the child (if they are not your own) that you are going to call in the authorities, but do not ask their permission. You are, now, in a position to try and protect them. Help find a safe place for the child if they are worried.

Report it | Call Child Protective Services or your local law enforcement to report the crime. You can also call the Child National Abuse Hotline.

Find support | If your child has been the victim of abuse, seek counseling with an experienced counselor. If not, work with that family (or alone if they are not cooperative) to get the child the help they need.

Preventing Child Abuse Can Make A Real Difference

Read These While You’re At It

How Child Abusers “Groom” Victims and Family Safeguards 25+ Picture Books For Kids To Explain Hard Topics Light-Hearted Children’s Books About Body Parts (And Safety!)

How can I recognize signs of abuse in non-verbal or very young children?

Some of the signs above still apply here: excessive crying, withdrawn behavior, aggressive behavior, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, fear of a particular person, unexplained injuries, etc. You know your child best and if something seems off, look further into it.

How can I prevent abuse from happening to my child in the first place?

While we can’t always prevent abuse, we can be proactive in talking with our kids and vigilant in their safety and well-being. Build a strong parent-child relationship and maintain open communication and encourage them to talk to you about any concerns or uncomfortable experiences. Teach your child about their body and personal boundaries from an early age, using age-appropriate language. Teaching and monitoring internet safety and supervising other caregivers as much as possible also play a role here.

Are there signs that my child might be engaging in abusive behavior towards others?

Recognizing signs that your child might be engaging in abusive behavior towards others is crucial for early intervention and addressing any harmful actions they may be involved in. Some warning signs may include aggressive or controlling behavior, bullying, lack of empathy, and destruction of property.

A Sample 4 Year Old Schedule To Keep Your Little One Happy

This sample 4 year old schedule will help you structure your daily routine to keep your preschooler well-rested, cooperative, and happy.

Preschoolers are such a delight.

They no longer walking around trashing the house like 1 year olds, and they are slightly more calm than toddlers. Also, they are more aware and more ready to take on the world.

Conversations get cuter and cuter and – bless – they still have that baby chub that just warms a mama’s heart.

They can also be a handful.

By this time, they have probably dropped their nap and want you to spend 2,345,345 hours playing with them and while they are certainly more independent than toddlers, they are still right there at mama’s hip, sweet things.

4 year old girl outside playing on her 4 year old schedule

Things To Remember About This Age

4 years old may seem young or old depending on your child’s birth order. At this age, little ones are starting to really understand their place in the family and are also capable of becoming more independent.

It’s a great idea to have rest time (more on that later), independent play (read on for that info), and an age appropriate bedtime. If your little one is still napping bedtime might be pushed back, or if they aren’t napping it may be pushed forward, but at this age your preschooler can go quite the stretch without daytime sleep.

But sleep is still vital for mood and behavior regulation as well as their overall development.

Sample Daily 4 Year Old Schedules

This sample schedule may change based on your child’s wake-up time and any other commitments they may have, but you can use this to work off of.

1 – Sample Routine for a 4 Year Old At Home All Day

Here’s a routine if you are home all day with your little one:

7:00 a.m. | Wake Up | Make Bed | Eat Breakfast

10:00 a.m. | Independent Play

12:00 p.m. | Lunch

1:00 p.m. | Rest Time in Room

3:00 p.m. | Snack| Free Play

5:30 p.m. | Dinner

6:30 p.m. | Bath | Stories | Bedtime Routine

7:30 p.m. | Bed

There are many way to incorporate independent play into the day. Read How to Teach Children to Play Independently and Why Kids need Independent Play.

2 – Sample Schedule for a 4 Year Old Who Goes to Preschool in the Morning

If your little one goes to preschool for the morning, here’s a sample daily routine that’ll help keep the overstimulation to a minimum:

6:00 a.m. | Wake Up | Eat Breakfast | Get Ready

7:00 a.m. | Go to School

12:00 p.m. | Return Home | Eat Snack

1:00 p.m. | Rest Time in Room

2:00 p.m. | Independent Play

3:30 p.m. | Snack time

4:30 p.m. | Do Chores

5:30 p.m. | Eat Dinner

6:30 p.m. | Bath | Stories | Bedtime Routine

7:30 p.m. | Bed

The Importance of Rest Time if You Aren’t Napping

Kids may buck at the idea of naps… especially if they are transitioning out of daily naps. It’s natural and normal for children about this age to stop needing their daily nap-time.

This doesn’t mean you go from naps to nothing. Instead, have “down time” or “resting time.” It’s super beneficial for children to routinely have rest time in their day. Both for mom and for your little one.

Rest time helps children:

emotionally and physically unwind,
separate from over stimulation,
get a break from their siblings,
learn independence,
develop a love of reading/drawing/coloring,
and even aids in learning and memory retention.

If your little one if having trouble winding down and going to sleep at the end of the day, try incorporating in a rest time in your schedule.

In fact, if your preschooler starts acting out of control, stops listening, and gets defiant… adding in a rest time can help give your child the space for a reset.

Read: The Nap Trap – How To Deal With It & Not Resist It

Independent Play in the Morning

Independent play is an excellent skill for your 4 year old to have. In fact, one of the best gifts you can give your child is the ability to play on their own.

Not only will day to day life with them be easier (both for your children and yourself), but they will learn so much.

Independent play:

May take a while to get used to if your child isn’t doing this already,
builds self-confidence,
use of their imagination,
builds problem solving skill
and helps prevent raising children who are easily bored and need others to make decisions for them.

Now that you know some of the benefits to independent play, check out these tips to help you make it happen:

Start Early and Go Slow– Even if it’s just 5 minutes at first. Start with what they can do and show them how clever they are to play independently.
Set Location Boundaries- It’s not really independent play if they roam around the house and you have to follow them to be sure they aren’t getting into trouble.
Use a Snack to Get Them Started– I have been known to entice them into their room with a small bowl of goldfish or gummies.
Be Consistent and Give It Time- Kids enjoy doing things more when they get used to them, and knowing what to expect is key in starting independent play without a fuss.

Bedtime and Wind Down

When it comes to bedtime and wind down, routine and consistency is important. Making sure that children are getting enough sleep is also important.

Generally, kids at age four need a total of about 10-12 hours of sleep each day. Some may sleep more than this if they are napping still and having a 7pm to 7pm night sleep.

In both schedules above, bedtimes set to usually about 7:00 p.m. but not after 8:00 p.m. Making sure your child gets enough sleep matters for his/her overall moods and cooperation throughout the day.

What’s an appropriate balance between structured activities and free play?

This depends on your child’s personality, your parenting style, and if your four-year-old is going to preschool or not. Preschool-age children benefit from a mix of structured activities and free play. Structured activities can help with school readiness, but free play remains essential for creativity, social development, and problem-solving skills. Find a balance and routine that works well for your family and stick to it!

How can I handle disruptions to the daily routine, such as vacations or holidays?

This will vary from family to family depending on the specific needs and personalities, but children often do better when there is some resemblance of routines on special occasions. Try to maintain some consistency in core routines like mealtimes, bedtime, and hygiene practices. Even when away from home, follow a simplified version of your child’s bedtime routine. This can include reading a bedtime story, brushing teeth, and getting into pajamas. This can help anchor your child and provide a sense of security.

What if our family’s schedule varies from day to day?

it’s still possible to create structure and maintain some stability amidst the variability. Identify the core elements of your daily routine that remain relatively consistent, such as wake-up times, mealtimes, and bedtime. Try to stick to these core routines as consistently as possible. Use visual schedules or charts that outline the day’s activities for your child. This can help them understand what to expect and provide a sense of predictability.

Sources:

Stay At Home Mom Resume Guaranteed To Get You Call Backs

Here is, in my humble opinion, an accurate resume for stay at home mom. If you’re worried about what to put on your resume later on, hopefully this will give you some ideas. 🙂 And before you get that interview, you can learn to take a compliment.

Resume (n): a brief account of a person’s education, qualifications, and previous experience

When I was in college, traveling around Europe, and then planning my career I often thought about my resume. How it needed to look full and well-rounded. Or maybe it was hyper-specific. Anyway, it seemed like what I looked like on paper really was important.

And then I got pregnant with my first – surprise! – and then I become a stay-at-home mom. When I began having a stay-at-home-mom identity crisis, I suddenly cared how having a big fat hole in my resume was going to look to future employers.

Now, six years later, I’m not worried one iota about my resume. I’m not worried about what it says I did or didn’t do. Or that it doesn’t show awards or promotions or accomplishments. I’m not worried because after four years of being a stay at home mom I am very confident of two things…

Being at home with small kids is dang hard work.

And I’m way more capable than I previously thought.

So, stay at home mom, if and when you decide to go into the work force don’t feel insecure you took a few years out. I’ve created a resume for you that you may feel free to copy, paste, and personalize.

Go forth into the marketplace and see how this season of life at home has actually helped you become a better version of you. Because, after all, children are not in the way.

A Stay at Home Mom Resume

Rachel Norman, B.A., M.S.

Director of Child Development

Accomplished, seasoned professional with years of experience and track record of proven success in meeting daily, monthly, and yearly goals (goals may include diaper changes, bedtimes, and aiding memorization of ABCs).

An ambitious self-starter who can be counted on to meet deadlines (30 seconds to make it to the potty) and perform well under stress (running a home by day and multiple night feedings postpartum by night).

Skills in the following areas:

Communication (interpretation, sign language, lecturing, etc.)
Mediation (negotiating, bargaining, and bribing)
Analytical/Research skills (a worried mother does better research than the FBI, no?)
Managing Multiple Priorities (feed, shop, cook, make lists, cuddle, and surf FB simultaneously)
Planning/Organizing (meal planning, setting routines, corralling toys, sorting Lego)
Problem Solving (why are they waking, what will they eat, how to get them to stop whining, how to eat candy without being seen)
Teamwork (dividing tasks, delegating chores, gaining cooperation from the uninspired)

The Norman Household, 2011 – 2019

Director of Child Development

Coordinated education curriculum of children (books, flashcards, Sesame Street)
Oversaw emotional development (cuddled, praised, and kissed boo boos)
Supported gross and fine motor skills (helped roll over, crawl, walk, and hold crayons)

Smooth Start Morning Routines

Mornings don’t have to feel like a mad dash of lost shoes, whining, and cold coffee. Here’s a simple, no-nag plan to get kids up, ready, and out the door on time — without the rage.

Start Now

Household CEO

Oversaw operations of all systems and procedures (laundry, shopping, cleaning, transportation)
Budgeted for and allocated appropriate expenditures (groceries, mortgage, insurance, bills, Reese’s Cups)
Delegated operational tasks to promote equal division of labor (chore charts, daily cleaning routines)

Officer in Charge of Waste Management

Conducted performance tests on various vehicles for waste removal (expensive disposable, cheap disposable, pocket cloth diapers, prefold)
Developed systems for waste disposal to minimize odor

Etiquette Expert

Hosted daily events showcasing table manners and utensil usage (breakfast, lunch and dinner)
Taught and required subordinates to perform acts of gratitude (thank you notes and verbal thank you’s)
Helped introduce young men to the lost art of chivalry (opening doors, carrying groceries, looking after sisters)