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Sticky Routines System

Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

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3 to 6 Month Sample Routine

Of course, no two babies are alike and you will do whatever schedule works for your own home and the needs of your family.

That said, this is a typical schedule I’ve used with all 5 of my kids at this age. Yes, I have 5 kids and they are all close together in age.

5:00 am | An early morning feed (don’t change diaper) just put right back down to bed

7:30 am | Wake up and feed, bathe baby (I use this in the sink and it’s amazing)

8:30 am | Go down for a nap

10:30 am | Feed baby, snuggle, special tummy time mat

11:30 am | Go down for a nap

1:30 pm | Feed baby, go for walk, carry baby around house to do chores, read to baby or hold baby while you read, tummy time

2:30 pm | Go down for a nap

4:30 pm | Feed baby, put in infant seat (this is ours) or on a blanket while you cook, let siblings play with baby

5:30 pm | Quick nap

6:15 pm | Feed baby if desired (a cluster feed), play with daddy, play with siblings, play on mat, bathe if you didn’t in the morning

Read: Want an Easy Baby? Then Use A Foolproof Baby Schedule

7:30 pm | Feed baby and put to bed, you can rock gently to drowsy then in the crib, or I find that mine often feed to sleep and sleep the whole night through

10:30 pm | Dream feed before you go to sleep (if they aren’t yet sleeping through the night)

If you’d like to get a copy of the 3 to 6 month routine here, sign up below and get it by email.

Basic Tips for Babies Ages 3 to 6 Months

Here are some basic tips for babies at this age.

How to get your baby to sleep later. Try this tip so you aren’t up at the crack of dawn.
Feeding babies until one year of age. When do you give solids?
How to avoid getting your baby overtired. Overtiredness means they fight naps.
How to get good naps with loud older siblings. Sometimes you have to protect the nap.
11 tips to get baby to sleep well for the long run. These include how to change diaper best at night.
Swaddling tips (though you’ll wean within this time)
28 things to try if baby won’t sleep. Honestly, they work.

Read: The Dreamfeed: The Why, The How, & When To Stop

Watch my short video on a big reason babies this age are whiny and what to do about it.

The Key to a Good Routine

This may be so simple it goes without saying… but the key to a good routine is keeping the routine.

It can be difficult to remember everything when you’re just starting out, but once you get the hang of it, routine will be second nature. Here are some ways you can learn to keep your routine.

If you feel you’re missing something important, try keeping a daily baby log for a while.

Hang the routine up.

In my Rhythms, Routines, and Schedules ebook (see more below) I have 25+ sample routine printables from babies age 6 weeks to 5 years.

You can take these printables and hang them in your nursery, on the fridge, or keep them in your planner. Whatever works.

Set alarms.

While you don’t need to live and die by the clock, setting your phone, watch, or a timer will help you keep aware of routine transitions.

We can often get so wrapped up in what we’re doing we forget we’ve let the baby sleep 4 hours. Why is that bad? Because 4 hours is a stretch littles ones should only sleep at night!

I set alarms on my phone that show on my watch and this works for us.

Setting Your Family Pace

Family life shouldn’t feel like a constant race. This workshop helps you build a balanced, sustainable pace that handles responsibilities while making space for rest, connection, and what really matters.

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Practice.

As with anything, if you want something to work then work it. Keep pushing what you’ve decided to do. If it doesn’t work then change it up a bit and keep going.

Move forward. I assure you 100% that a routine will work if you keep at it.

If you’d like to get a copy of the 3 to 6 month routine here, sign up below and get it by email.

Want Routine Printables to hang up?

If you want routines and schedules for the 3 to 6 month phase, but also for 9 months, 12 months, 18 months, and beyond, and on I’ve got great news for you.

I’ve created a book chock full of routines that work. Routines that keep babies and toddlers well rested, happy, and content.

Routines that account for all the things you need to do and they are mom tested. The best part? The book comes with printable routines (3 choices for each age) that you can hang up and use!

So instead of having to reinvent the wheel every few months, you’ll have tried and true mom tested routines right at your fingertips.

This is such a precious age. Baby is still little and tiny but is getting a bit of personality. Is awake more, smiles a lot, and even starts laughing. Enjoy this precious time, mama!

Is it better to follow a strict schedule based on the clock or to let my baby’s cues guide their eating, sleeping, and play times?

Both. Generally, the routine is determined by baby’s needs (wake windows, feeding times, nap times) so it takes the guesswork out of what they need. Of course, if a baby is hungry they will be fed regardless of the time on the clock, but we want to make sure they aren’t only snacking. The baby’s schedule should serve them and the family while being flexible when needed.

What can I do if my baby experiences sleep regression during this period?

Baby sleep patterns change around 4 months of age, resulting in sleep changes and sometimes regressions around this time. Check out my resources here to guide you through baby’s first year.

Sources:

The Pros & Cons of Baby Monitors – Do I Need One?

If you’re preparing for a new baby and trying to gather all your necessities, you may be asking, “Do I need a baby monitor?” There are pros and cons to a baby monitor. Here’s how to make that decision…

When I was pregnant with my first child we were clueless as to what was needed.

We knew we needed diapers, a crib, and a car seat.

That was about it. I’d read books about nursing, setting up good sleep habits, and the basic logistics, but wasn’t sure which gadgets or gear to buy.

I read that in a house where bedrooms very close together, a baby monitor was not necessary. On the flip side, I also read that they can help give you sanity.

Read: Minimalist moms must haves for mothers of babies

Let’s dive in… do you actually need a baby monitor?

The following questions will help you decide whether or not to purchase an expensive baby monitor. Ask yourself these four questions before making you decision:

1. Where will the baby sleep from day one?

If your baby sleeps in the same room as you for a few months, you probably don’t need a monitor for a while, if ever. If their crib is beside you then you can be assured you’ll hear their every move and whimper.

However, If you have a two story home and plan on allowing the baby napping upstairs… it will come in handy.

We didn’t use a monitor with any of my babies until they were older and sleeping in their own rooms at night.

Read: The importance of white noise to help baby sleep

2. How do I sleep?

I once heard it said that after you have kids you’ll forever sleep with one ear open.

Ain’t that the truth!

Now, if you are a deep sleeper, a monitor will likely be just what you need. It will ensure you hear all your baby’s noises and to give you reassurance.

If you are a light sleeper and the baby is very near you, it may not seem necessary.

I am a lighter sleeper and even without a monitor, but with the baby in the same room, I wake up for every little gurgle.

If your husband takes turns getting up with the baby and he’s a deep sleeper, a monitor might be just the ticket. Just put it on his side of the bed.

After all, he’s not doing you any favors by taking care of the kids.

3. What else will you use the baby monitor for?

If you think you can live without a baby monitor (which you most definitely can) but wonder if it would have other uses later, then you are right.

Alternative uses for baby monitor:

When the kids are older, a baby monitor is useful for independent playtime
For toddlers, it’s useful to see how long it takes them to actually fall asleep.
If you plan on doing yard work, monitors are perfect use during nap times.
It helps you get things done during those brief free periods without worry you’ll miss your baby’s cry.

Read: 8 useful ways to use the pack and play

4. So if I want one… should I get a basic monitor or a smart one?

With so many choices, it can be overwhelming! See the list below for some help!

Over the years, I’ve used the cheapest, a medium quality, and a fairly expensive version. They each have benefits and downsides… let’s talk about which one may work for you!

It all depends on your home & how you’ll use it…

In a smaller house where the bedrooms are closest together, the basic bottom of the line monitor will do the trick. Don’t worry about getting too fancy, the “peace of mind” comes from hearing your little one.
If you live in a larger or two story house, you may want to get a better quality monitor for connection purposes. This is just simply because of the distance involved. The same is true if you plan on working outside during nap-time.
Maybe you love the idea of being able to see and speak to your baby? If being “techy” is a benefit to you, there are some really great high quality monitors available. I can’t believe the quality and range of some!

Get the right baby monitor right here!

Look no further, I have compiled the top 5 baby monitors in each of the different qualities. Here are some that are basic, and some have all the bells and whistles!

VTech Audio Baby Monitor– Here is a bottom of the line, but just as useful baby monitor. It still has a talk back feature and reaches up to 100 feet. I actually used this one with my first baby, and it worked great!
Baby Monitor with Zoom Camera and LCD Screen- This middle of the line baby monitor is still full of useful technology. You can speak to your baby through this system and even adjust the camera digitally. Get it Here.
Anmeate Baby Monitor with Digital Camera- Here is a basic mid line and excellent quality monitor. It has a 960 ft range, 2 way talk, and night vision.
Motorola Video Baby Monitor- With this monitor you get two cameras for peace of mind if baby turns over with his/her back to the camera. It was infrared night vision and a room temperature feature. Get it Here.
Nanit Plus Smart Baby Monitor- Here is a top of the line and highly rated baby monitor with a wall mount included. Some of it’s features include HD camera and video, temperate & humid sensors and sleep tracking.

What options are available for parents who need to monitor multiple children in different rooms?

For parents who need to monitor multiple children in different rooms, there are several options available to help you keep an eye on all your children simultaneously: split-screen video monitors, multi-camera systems, and expandable baby monitors with the option to add additional cameras.

Are there potential privacy risks associated with using baby monitors, particularly smart monitors?

Yes, there are potential privacy risks associated with using baby monitors, especially smart monitors that are connected to the internet. While these monitors offer convenience and remote monitoring capabilities, they can also pose privacy challenges like unauthorized access, data breeches, remote access, and insecure networks. Be sure to thoroughly research the baby monitor you choose before purchasing if you decide to use a smart monitor.

Are there safety guidelines to follow when using baby monitors, such as proper placement and avoiding cords near the crib?

Absolutely, there are important safety guidelines to follow when using baby monitors to ensure the well-being of your child. Always ensure proper placement by positioning the baby monitor’s camera or sensor unit at a safe distance from the crib to avoid any physical contact with the baby. Make sure the camera is securely mounted or placed on a stable surface to prevent it from falling into the crib and out of your child’s reach. Keep all cords, wires, and cables associated with the baby monitor out of your child’s reach to prevent choking hazards or entanglement. Read the safety instructions for the monitor you choose to follow the manufacturer’s guidelines.

9 Reasons Why Cuddling Your Kids Makes Life Better

You probably know why it’s good to cuddle your kids, but did you know it actually makes your life and theirs better? Find out why!

When Mother Teresa received the Nobel Prize, she was asked,

“What can we do to promote world peace?”

She answered “Go home and love your family.”

So in that vein, here are 9 reasons you should cuddle your kids

Like all the time. It’s an easy way to love your child and help release all the happy hormones in both of you.

1. Kids are precious and squishy

Kids, particularly small ones, are so sweet to hug. It’s like cuddling a teddy bear, except your kids can make cute noises. There is just no one better to hug than one of our own children.

Anyway, hug your kids while they’re squishy because you’ll never be able to say “you are so nice to hug because you’re just so squishy and soft and cuddly,” to anyone else ever.

little girl cuddling and hugging her mother

2. Hugging may make kids smarter

Research shows that children whose parents demonstrate love to them verses children whose parents don’t actually have bigger brains (source).

Good to know that if you love your child it’ll make them smarter, eh?

By providing your children with a loving and safe environment (of course, this requires more than cuddling) you are directly affecting their development.

Hugging may not raise their IQ, but it’ll help them get the most out of it. And that will be good for them, their future family, and the spheres in which they will move as adults.

Read: Why Cuddling Is Good For Our Children’s Brains

Setting Your Family Pace

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3. Cuddling and hugging releases good chemicals (happy hormones)

Physical contact releases a certain chemical in the brain that promotes happiness and lower stress hormones (source).

Cuddling and hugging can literally put you in a better mood.

And pretty quick at that! If you’ve had a tough day, or if your kids are pushing the envelope and you to your limit, a good way to stop and reset the home atmosphere is to cuddle.

two teddy bears hugging and snuggling on the beach seashore

4. Your children’s physical affection cup will be filled

Have you ever tried to hug someone who doesn’t like physical touch? Awkward. Physical touch doesn’t have to be your love language for you to appreciate the connection and thought it implies.

When parents never touch their children they will be deprived affection. If your kids are deprived affection they will seek it elsewhere.

It’s a biological need, physical tough, and improves emotional and mental well being.

5. Physical contact and roughhousing is good exercise

I probably burn around 400 calories a day (I have a calorie calculator in my head I am quite sure is accurate) trying to pin down my 18 month old.

Because I chase him, I hold him up in the air then bring him down, I hang on to him when he giggles and tries to pull away.

He’s walloped me in the ribs, the face, and my teeth. It’s like kickboxing. But with chubby legs and squeals. And less sweating.

Read: Why roughhousing is great for kids and parents

6. Cuddling communicates love

While adults are able to determine how they feel best loved (5 Love Languages), young children are not. If you look them in the eye, give them attention, smile at them, and show them physical affection they feel good. When they see you like them and that makes them feel good, they feel loved.

When kids misbehave and you still hug them, they feel secure with you. If they break something valuable and you hug them, they know their position in the house isn’t in jeopardy.

If you flip out in anger, ask for forgiveness, and seal it with a hug, they understand about conflict resolution. It is one way – out of many – that confirms your love for them.

Read: 5 common anger triggers for moms – and how to overcome

Bye, Bye Backtalk

Backtalk isn’t just annoying—it’s draining, discouraging, and makes even the simplest requests feel like full-blown negotiations. This workshop will give you a step-by-step plan to stop the constant pushback and start building respectful, two-way communication with your kids. Because when you know how to hold boundaries and help your child feel heard, the fight fizzles—and connection takes its place.

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mother and father holding their two little babies

7. It keeps the parent / child connection strong

When we’ve had a busy day, had lots of guests, or I’ve been preoccupied with work, cooking, or life, a good way to reconnect with the kids is through a big hug.

It says, “I’ll slow down and just be with you.”

If you have company over and your kids feel slightly overwhelmed or shy, a cuddle says, “Even though I’m focusing on others right now, I haven’t forgotten about you.”

At the end of a long day, a good schnuggle (as my son calls it) before bedtime says, “After all is said and done, I am here for you.” And on the flip side, sometimes a hug is the only way little ones can express appreciation.

Read: 35 simple ways to show love to your child

8. Most kids crave hugs, cuddles, and kisses

Everyone, but particularly younger children, need to be cuddled. Kids need physical touch. They need comfort. They need a safe place close to their real life heroes when they feel scared or nervous.

I know not every parent finds physical affection easy. I know some mothers and fathers struggle to give lots of hugs and cuddles.

My advice?

Do it anyway. And do it often.

9. We need physical affection, too

Some days I don’t want to hug my kids. Some days, however, I do want to squeeze them. Very hard until it hurts. Okay I’m kidding.

It’s the hard days when everyone is cranky, people are sick, heart attitudes are not what they should be, and we feel at the end of our rope that we most need to get back to the basics.

When I’m frustrated with one of my kids and on the verge of losing it, I will often grab them and give them a big tight hug. In my heart I’m saying, “You are driving me crazy and if I don’t hug you I’m going to yell at you.”

What I do say is, “Mommy gets frustrated sometimes, but she loves you very much.”

Discipline with Dignity

Discipline shouldn’t feel like a battle or a shot in the dark. This workshop gives you a clear, balanced plan for setting boundaries that build respect and responsibility—without yelling, harsh punishments, or constant power struggles.

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mother holding and cuddling her son in the kitchen

Cuddling in a nutshell…

Kids want to be cuddled.
They want hugs when they’re happy.
And need hugs when they’re sad.
Kids want proof you still love them when they’ve been difficult.

Moms need affection too.
We also want hugs when we’re happy.
We too need hugs when we’re down.
And we need to know we’re still loved. Even when we’ve screwed up.

What should I do if my child resists or rejects cuddling?

It’s important to find ways to connect and show your affection if your child isn’t a cuddler. Most kids crave hugs, cuddles, and kisses so while your child might be resistant if they aren’t used to them, showing them affection consistently over time may make them more receptive in the future.

How can cuddling help soothe my child when they are upset or anxious?

Cuddling provides a physical sense of comfort and safety. The physical closeness can help regulate your child’s heartbeat and breathing, promoting a sense of calm. Cuddling reaffirms your presence and availability as a source of comfort. Your child knows they are not alone in their distress. Cuddling can help regulate your child’s emotions by providing them with a safe space to express their feelings. The physical closeness can make it easier for them to process their emotions.

How can cuddling become a meaningful and consistent aspect of our parent-child relationship?

Start early and be present. Incorporate cuddling and hugging into daily routines, such as cuddling before bedtime, during story time, or in the morning. Consistency helps make it a natural part of your relationship.

A Mother’s Love… What It Does & Why It Matters So Much

Inside you’ll find all the ways a mother’s love is needed in this world.

A mother’s love is like nothing else in the world.

It’s both strong and gentle.

Loud and quiet.

Unrelenting and yielding.

Protecting and releasing.

Demanding and unassuming.

It’s one thing in one moment, and another in the next moment. It changes with a child’s needs, but is always there. Unmoving.

Founded on the rock of the mother / child bond.

“Be a mother who is committed to loving her children into standing on higher ground than the environment surrounding them. Mothers are endowed with a love that is unlike any other love on the face of the earth.” MP Hinckley

The love of a mother is different than flimsy affection

The love of a mother goes to extremes. She requires her children to read two books a week then submit book reports to her. Then, she marks up… hoping they won’t notice she can’t read (source).

The love of a mother sacrifices her own security. After an adoption loss, she uses her own home as collateral to fight for her child (source).

The love of a mother is primal. When faced with grave danger she will stop at nothing – and spare no one – who threatens the lives of her children.

The love of a mother is sobering. Rose Colored Glasses gave way to fear, worries, and doubts for her children’s safety. Now, life is about more than having a good time.

Read: Enjoy Being A Mother Again With These 4 Stress Relieving Mindsets

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

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The love of a mother is different in different seasons

The love of a mother turns her attention to her little ones first and foremost. For a season she turns away from former hobbies, interests, and pursuits.

The love of a mother makes time to pour into herself when needed… knowing it’s the best thing she can do for her family.

She says… I will do that Big Thing later because, right now, I have more important work at home.

A mother’s doesn’t use children as an excuse to put off the scary task she is called to do right now.

She knows that the choices she makes now affect all her children’s futures.

Read: Words Every Emotionally Exhausted Mother Needs To Hear

The love of a mother helps her do the absolute best she can, and that’s good enough

The love of a mother nourishes her baby at her breast (or in her arms) day to day – sometimes hour to hour. She does this even though she hasn’t had a full night’s rest in years.

The love of a mother accepts her child needs more nourishment and nutrients than she has to give. She thanks God that sometimes formula is best.

A mother’s love carefully selects ingredients and meals for her children to help them grow strong, healthy, and boost their immune system.

She serves canned fruit and processed meals, balancing the worry that fresh food would be better, but $20 only goes so far.

Read: 5 Signs You May Be A Depressed Mom — And How To Start Feeling Better

The love of a mother means different things to different women

The love of a mother helps her stay in a hard marriage when it’s best for the kids. She knows the security and well-being of her children is more important than her feelings.

The love of a mother gives strength to overcome fear of the unknown. It gives strength to flee the family home for the sake of her children’s safety.

It spends thousands of dollars each year to give her children the best opportunities and education money can buy.

The love of a mother sees her child’s spirit withering at school, and decides to homeschool. She put them in a place of safety and belonging.

She says… I will keep you, raise you, and love you. I will do this even though I am neither prepared nor ready for this job.

The love of a mother carries to full term only to give her baby to those who’ll raise him in a way she knows she cannot.

Read: How To Live Within Your Limits And Hold Your Boundaries

Family Practices & Contribution

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

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The love of a mother looks different in different places.

The love of a mother will place her family on a boat to flee a war torn country. It risks peril in hopes of finding safe haven.

The love of a mother suppresses guilt and jealousy as she drops her baby off each morning at care. Wishing she could do that work, instead of the work that puts a roof over their heads.

The love of a mother sustains her when there is barely enough food to feed her children, much less leftovers.

It says… I will birth, love, and cherish you though my government considers you inferior.

A mother’s love says I don’t care what other people think or say about my choices. I will do what I think is best for you.

A mother’s love looks different in each woman, but deep down… it’s what unites us.

How does a mother’s ability to practice self-care impact her capacity to give and express love?

A mother’s bond with her child(ren) is unmatched regardless of circumstances. Of course, we are also human and self-care is important for moms so that we can be filled up while we are pouring out so much love, affection, and attention to our children.

How can a mother strike a balance between showing love and providing necessary discipline and guidance?

I would make the argument that guidance and discipline are forms of a mother’s love because she knows what’s best for her child. A mother’s love changes as her child changes and adapts to what her child needs, including discipline and guidance.

What role does a mother’s love play in shaping a child’s emotional well-being and self-esteem?

A mother’s love plays a critical and influential role in shaping a child’s emotional well-being, sense of security, attachment, resilience, and self-esteem. The bond between a mother and her child forms the foundation for how the child perceives themselves, relates to others, and navigates the world.

Why Kids Need Independent Play Time Daily — And How To Start

Independent play time is one of the most important parts of your toddler or preschooler’s day. It helps teach independence, focus, and heaps more.

One of the best pieces of parenting advice I’ve ever applied was giving your child independent playtime each day.

Independent playtime is, as the name suggests, a time where the baby/toddler/child plays in a safe area alone for a certain period of time determined by you.

Babies may be on a play mat or in a pack-n-play while toddlers and children can be in their crib or room.

When they are young it will be for a short period of time. By around 18 months they will be able to happily play alone for 45 minutes to an hour.

I know because my children do it.

This single activity in my schedule allows me to do things like clean, work, check emails, rest, get dressed and simply to have a few moments to myself.

Read: 8 Useful Ways To Use The Pack & Play (They Might Surprise You)

And, it’s not primarily for you, it’s great for them too.

You’ll never regret setting aside time each day to let your kids learn to entertain themselves.

Why Independent Play Times Are Great For Toddlers And Preschoolers

Note: it’s best they can’t see you during this time, but that you are able to keep an eye on them.

Whether you use the monitor, crack the door, or periodically pop your head in, I am not advocating leaving your child completely unsupervised for a long period of time.

They learn problem solving + cause and effect

If the toy is stuck, they try to get it out.

They throw their doll out of their reach and now they are one doll down.

And they stack those blocks in frustration until they learn to balance them well.

This is a time where they explore – on their own without your hovering or interruption – a little bit about life. Instead of everything happening to them (ie, when family members play with them and take them around, give them toys, etc.) this is a time where they determine their own course.

Some days I find my girl sitting with 30 books around her Quietly Reading, pointing, and laughing.

Your child directs their own play and problem solves.
Your child learns to first attempt something before asking for help.

Read: Excellent Books For Kids & Moms

little girl swinging during independent play — You can have independent play outside too!

I remember one day hearing a distressed shout and went into my 2 year old daughter’s room to find she’d climbed onto a (fairly low) storage container and got stuck.

She called for me and I came to the rescue… but she didn’t climb on it again.

Sticky Routines System

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Toddler independent play teaches lessons

She learned her own lesson. Instead of us constantly solving their problems and making things simple, this is a time where they can start to figure out their surroundings and take control of a small area, if only for a short time.

Additionally, problem solving and decision making increases self-confidence in children. When they see a problem and find a solution to their liking, they feel encouraged in their own abilities.

If they must constantly look to you for intervention, this confidence in their own ability is stunted.

Read: 7 Phrases To Encourage Independence In Toddlers & Preschoolers

two dinosaurs and a toy figuring on a footstool during independent play time

Independent Play Encourages And Breeds Imagination

My grandmother said it best.

“Boring people get bored.”

Your child needs a chance to work their imagination because it is crucial for future problem solving and decision-making skills.

If we as mothers over hover, they aren’t left with the time and space to go into their own mind and make up a fun world.

Read: Life Skills For Kids By Age (With Printables!)

Toddler And Preschooler Playing On Their Own Increases Creativity

Dolls become friends and rugs become race tracks. I don’t leave too many toys around, and this urges the kids to really dig into whatever they’re doing. I hear them laugh, talk, babble or sing and move around.

And I can see them trying new things, fitting blocks into holes and stacking things around. I believe this is a time that encourages them to explore and discover a little without us.

Make sure there aren’t any choking hazards in the independent play area.
Have toys available and watch to see how your child reacts. If they bounce from toy to toy and get bored easily, try removing some toys. This avoids distraction and helps them focus.

Read: 5 Problems Toy Rotation Solves

a creation made by my daughter during independent play time

Independent Structured Play Creates Routine, Discipline, & Security

Many mothers think that simply being near their child will bring security.

While this is true in a sense (constant absence of a parent surely does bring insecurity and fear), the test of whether a child is secure or not is when the mother walks away.

If a mother walks away and the child goes into hysterics then there is obviously less security than previously thought.

Independent play is one way to build a sense of security and confidence that will last. The child knows they will play alone and knows you will come back.

Read: Therapeutic Play: How To Do It At Home For Your Kids

Playing On Their Own Helps Them Grow In Independence

I go into their room with them and we play together for a minute or two. Then I may put a basket of toys in the crib for my 16 month-old. Get out some paper and crayons for my 3-year-old, or put out some puzzles and toys for my 2-year-old.

As I leave, 9 times out of 10 they will say “bye bye mommy” with a big smile. 45 minutes to an hour later I come back and we are all happily reunited and play together again.

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

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Related Reads:

Independent Play Times Teach Kids To Entertain Themselves

If I am out shopping and run into a friend I will stop and talk.

girl in princess dress having a tea party during independent play time

People frequently comment how calm they are and – while they have their fair share of hyperactivity – they are able to cope when I am occupied. I find this extremely helpful.

Truly, if you have many children, this time is actually a gift to them. Unless you have three of everything for your three children, the kids will spend part of their day trying to claim toys as their territory.

By having alone playtime, children do not have to compete for or worry about others stealing their fun. I often rotate the toys in each child’s room so they aren’t bored with the same toys.

Read: 10 Ways To Keep Kids Busy When You Need To Get Stuff Done

toddler playing with wooden toys on a white carpet during independent play time

Independent Play Is A Win-Win

Not only will your children enjoy this Rest Time to themselves (particularly if they have siblings with whom they must always share or protect their toys), but so will you!

You can use it to prep dinner, read a book, put up your feet, or anything else your heart desires. We have our playtime mid-morning when I am usually due for some peace and quiet.

Read: The Trick To Finding Alone Time As A Stay At Home Mom

Tantrums aren’t always a bad thing.

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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How To Start Doing Independent Play Times If Your Kids Are Resistant

It’s perfectly normal that your children resist playtime initially.

If they are 2 and have never been required to play on their own in their room, there may be tears or tantrums. That’s okay.

The key is baby steps. Start small. My 3-year-old will play for one hour (longer if I let her) willingly each morning. She’s used to it and time flies when she’s having fun.

However, starting at 5 minutes or even 10 minutes is a safe bet. If they cry or resist, reassure them you are just in the other room and will return shortly.

Eventually – when they realize you will come back – they’ll turn away from the back of the door and begin playing. You can gradually increase the time they are in their rooms after they’ve gotten the hang of it.

Feel free to offer a drink or a snack (one that you aren’t worried will create a huge mess or be a choking hazard, obviously) to get them in the “mood.” If mine seem a bit testy, I’ll offer an enticing snack with the beginning of play time and that’s almost always enough for them to settle in to playing.

As always, be consistent.

Consistency is key.

When they expect play time each day, they are far more likely to be wiling participants than if you try to spring it on them just because you need a few minutes to yourself.

Make it a regular part of your routine or rhythm and be amazed at the results!

Read: How To Teach Kids To Play On Their Own

wooden toys with a rubber ducky that you can use in independent play times

How many toys should I leave my toddler with for independent play time?

I try to offer as many open-ended options for my kids to play with as possible, so less is more. We want to encourage critical thinking and creativity so providing fewer toys that can be used in multiple ways is the best option. For toddlers, try starting with 3-4 options and adjust accordingly depending on how your child does.

Is independent play time different than rest time for toddlers who are ready to drop a nap?

Independent play time can become your toddler’s rest time when they are ready to fully drop naps. If a child still occasionally naps during rest time, independent play time during a different time of the day can still be helpful so they have time to play and nap. When young kids are used to independent play time, it can be an easier transition to rest time when they drop their nap.

Sources:

5 Ways To Help Your Child Sleep When They’re Sick

Unwell babies or toddlers can still get a good night’s rest. In fact, they need it more! Here’s how to help your child sleep when sick.

At one point, my family got hit hard and fast by the stomach flu. It was not pretty and took a while for us all to get back on our feet. Most of our normal rules and expectations went out the window.

TV was limitless, we ate cereal for dinner, and our sleep was all over the place.

Bedtime was earlier some days, late on others. Naps were longer on some days, and on others, they happened multiple times per day. With a lot of little ones, we usually stick to a pretty strict schedule that keeps everyone well-rested and happy. But this was not the week to worry about schedules.

Because when you’re sick, rest is the goal

Sickness is one of those major wrenches that get thrown into a good sleep plan. Here is one of the most common questions I get.

“What do I do when she gets sick?”

I’m giving my best wisdom here to help navigate these tricky times.

Evaluate what level of sickness you’re dealing with.

This is obvious, but not all sickness is the same. A minor cold really shouldn’t throw much of a wrench into your normal sleep routine. On the other hand, a major flu or surgery most definitely will.

This is especially the case when, for instance, you need to administer medication throughout the night. Or your child needs to be held upright for comfort and ease of breathing.

Ear infections do tend to affect sleep a lot because laying down puts pressure on the ears, so if you have a child suddenly waking up screaming in pain at night, definitely get them to the doctor. Once, my son was waking up at 5:30 in the morning for several mornings (very unlike him) and – lo and behold – double ear infection.

Start with the least amount of intervention.

Even a very sick child may sometimes surprise you and continue to sleep through the night without assistance. This is especially true for a child who already has all the skills to sleep independently.

So, try not to go right to rocking them to sleep. If they need some assistance, try first patting them or shushing without holding. Of course, if you end up needing to rock them, don’t worry about it – just enjoy the snuggles – and know you can get back on track as soon as they’re feeling better.

If you haven’t done so already, start instilling those healthy sleep habits that will carry him through his early years with adequate rest. Not only will everyone’s immune systems be better able to fight off these nasty bugs, but you’ll recover more quickly, too!

Many moms – many – find themselves in trouble with sleep habits after a sickness or bout with illness. They threw the normal sleep routines out the window and created new more hands on habits that their little ones loved. Of course. But these habits then went on for weeks or months afterwards and must be broken.

Best to avoid starting those unless necessary. Children who can already sleep independently can usually do so through sleep with some pain and symptom management so they are comfy.

Read: Is Sleep Training a Baby Bad or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

Try a dream dose.

Of course, we have to balance helping our child sleep when sick with also making sure they are getting the treatment they need to get better. Similar to a dream feed, you can try giving them their next dose of medication without waking them up. Just put the syringe to their lips and see if you can trigger their sucking reflex.

Read: How to Stop Contact Naps (Peacefully)- and What to Do Instead

If needed, sit them up right a little bit, but try not to wake them fully. Keep lights as low as possible and don’t interact too much.

Read: The Top 10 Indicators It’s Time to Sleep Train

Allow for extra sleep – but not too much.

Again, this depends on the severity of their illness – for our family, my kids fell asleep whenever and where ever they needed – but they still surprisingly stayed mostly on schedule.

Even though it’s tempting to let your baby sleep in late or take 4-hour naps, you still might end up with a situation where they are fighting bedtime or waking up really early.

My rule of thumb is to let them sleep a half hour longer than usual – in the morning or for naps – but generally cap the naps and aim for early bedtime, as this is when they’ll get their most restorative sleep.

Read: 7 Simple Reasons Why Your Baby Won’t Nap & What To Do

Make sure your child is already a great sleeper.

A kid that is already sleep trained, not overtired, and used to sleeping independently, will bounce back quite fast from an illness, even if all the sleep rules had to be thrown out the window.

However, if you start with a baby or toddler who already had some sleep crutches (i.e. needing to be fed or rocked to sleep), an illness can send you down a slippery slope that has you rocking him back to sleep all night like he’s a newborn again.

Another great thing about already having a great sleeper is that because their norm is sleeping all night, you know something is really wrong if they’re suddenly waking up screaming.

If your previously great sleeper has developed some bad sleep habits again, just go back to ground zero. We may throw things out the window to help our child sleep when sick. But, we should go back to our healthy sleep habits as soon as our little ones are healthy.

Once she’s sufficiently recovered, go back to your previous habits cold turkey. It should go much faster than the first time around, and she’ll get right back in her groove.

How can I ensure my child stays hydrated without causing them to wake up frequently for bathroom trips?

Encourage your child to drink most of their fluids during the daytime hours. Offer smaller sips rather than large drinks to quench their thirst without overloading their bladder. Begin tapering off their fluid intake in the evening hours, at least an hour or two before bedtime.

How do I stay calm and provide emotional support to my sick child during the night?

Sometimes sleep is disrupted by illness, which can lead to anxious or overwhelmed parents. Remind yourself that your emotional state can influence your child’s emotions and staying calm helps you better support them. Provide reassurance, comfort items, and patience until they are able to go back to sleep. Remember to try first patting them or shushing without holding them before rocking them back to sleep if they need it and go back to their normal sleep routine as soon as they are well.

4 Key Strategies For When Your Child’s Not Listening

Is your 4 year old not listening? If you’re having behavior issues and power struggles with your preschooler, these tips will help.

A short while ago I was having a mommy crises.

I felt my 4 year old son was really going through a hard time. Lots of crying, whining, and meltdowns. Our babysitter even commented that he seemed “sad” and didn’t want to play with his siblings.

I started watching him like a hawk and was shocked at what I saw.

He seemed down, defeated, and unhappy.

I cried and cried and cried until I was ready to think of a plan. A plan to get to the bottom of what was happening with my son.

Turns out… it wasn’t such a mystery.

He felt lost in the hubbub of our large family

My husband and I talked at length about what to do and then, starting the next day, waged a 4 pronged attack. Even after two days of the plan, the results were astonishing. I wouldn’t have believed it if it weren’t my own life.

Using the 4 keys below, we re-connected with him in such a meaningful way his tantrums basically went away, he was smiling again, and he became his normal happy self.

Helping Your Little One To Listen

While it may seem counter intuitive, the best approach is not always knuckling down and getting more “strict.”

Kids know the rules, they sometimes need to remember why they care about the rules in the first place.

Give Away Control You Don’t Need

A lot of behavior issues stem from one thing: feeling powerless.

A parent can relinquish control without endangering their child or giving them inappropriate freedoms for their age.

They don’t *have* to use the red cup and it doesn’t *actually* matter if their favorite shirt and shorts don’t match. Children who feel they have a certain measure of control over their lives will be more likely to cooperate with your requests.

Children who feel they never get to decide anything will find other ways to exert their power. They’ll ignore you, they’ll procrastinate, they’ll say “okay” then not do it.

Children need to have a sense they have some power and – if you don’t give it to them – they’ll prove they have it in ways you don’t like.

Read: What’s Really Happening When Your Kids Are Defiant

Loving Authority

Being in charge doesn’t mean being harsh or heavy-handed—it means being steady, clear, and confident. This workshop will help you understand what healthy authority really looks like. When you know how to show up as a secure, grounded leader, your kids feel safe, and everyone starts listening.

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Be Sure You Have Your Child’s Heart

Ultimately, children end up obeying their parents and adopting their values because they grew up in an environment of love, acceptance, and support. A nurturing and loving connection is the foundation of parenting.

If your child doesn’t feel understood, loved, or valued they won’t give a rip what you want them to do. You think a child should obey your every command because you are their mother.

A child knows deep down they have the choice whether or not to obey you, and without a strong nurturing bond, they won’t bother trying to please you.

Read: A Simple Step That Will Unlock Your Child’s Heart

Be More Playful

Kids play all day. It’s their default. It’s how they learn and how they bond. The best way to connect with your small child?

Become more playful.

This means laughing, tickling, roughhousing and being silly with your child. This is very hard for certain personalities, but take heart.

It’s not about playing pretend for 3 hours, it’s about connecting with your child in a way they understand completely. This will help them feel safe and loved. When they feel safe and loved?

You guessed it. They want to cooperate.

Read: A No-Drama Approach To Your Child’s Behavior Problems

Pay Actual Attention To Your Preschooler’s Behavior And Say What You See^®

I realized a while ago that it’s incredibly difficult to stay in the moment for me. My head is always spinning, thinking, and planning and this is not a good quality when it comes to spending time with my children. 4 year old behavior can get particularly tricky if we’re distracted all the time.

The fix?

I become a commentator. When I sit with them or join them in a game, I don’t necessarily have to take a role in the play. I can simply comment on it using the Say What You See^® method from Language of Listening^®.

“You are building with LEGO. You love building.”

“Your Barbie can do flips. Wow, you like making her spin.”

“I see you are jumping up and down. That looks really fun, you are laughing a lot!”

You’ll feel completely ridiculous doing this until you see how your child reacts. Mine’s eyes light up and they feel so understood and loved.

When I make sure and use this strategy in my normal interactions with them, the days are so much more peaceful. Less fighting, less tantrums, less arguing.

Read: How To Be A Present Parent Without Losing It

Read: Quiet time (Rest time) for Toddlers: All You Need to Know

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

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The long and short of it…

When children know you’re paying attention they feel loved.

Then, when children feel loved, they are settled.

When children are settled, they are at peace.

And when children are at peace, they are more cooperative.

If your child is refusing to listen or obey, don’t give more consequences. Give more time.

How can I adapt my approach to connect with my child as they grow older?

The general principles will remain the same but the strategies will change over time. Parents can give up unnecessary control, capture their hearts, be more playful, and Say What You See to connect with their kids whether they are 4, 14, or 24.

What are some techniques for active listening and validating my child’s feelings?

We already talked about the Say What You See method above, which is one of my favorites. Removing distractions so that we can actively engage with our kids, observe them, ask questions, and connect with them is a huge step along with getting in their worlds and doing things that they love alongside them.

How can I handle conflicts with my child in a way that maintains our connection?

We can be firm in our boundaries and have high expectations for our kids while still having a close connection with them by paying attention to them and actively connecting with them. Remember: If your child is refusing to listen or obey, don’t give more consequences. Give more time.

Toddler Bed vs. Twin Bed — Pros & Cons And How To Choose

It can be a daunting thing, deciding between a toddler bed vs. a twin bed, but there are some pros and cons of each. Let’s dive in!

I’m going to come right out here and tell you that I moved all 5 of my babies into either twin or even DOUBLE beds straight out the crib.

Mainly because I had them and I’m cheap.

Looking back, I might have chosen differently for a variety of reasons, so let’s dive into those now. Before we get started though, let’s remember that there’s no right or wrong here.

It’s only a problem if it’s a problem for you.

Toddlers can sleep with blankets and stuffed animals so, this is mainly an issue of:

Accessibility
preference
space planning
budget

WHEN to Transition Your Little One Into Their Own Bed

I WILL NOT BE REMISS in offering you up what I know about moving into this new phase.

Imma be honest.

Don’t take them out of the crib too early.

Yours truly is a certified baby and toddler sleep consultant, and I see this a lot. Don’t do it too early and here’s why.

There’s actually no reason to move them early. If they are climbing out of their crib but less than 2 years old, or even less than 3… put on a sleep sack that won’t allow their legs to climb. Then, if they take off the sleep sack, turn it on backwards so they can’t get to the zippers.
If you do move them before they have developed enough self-control, you may end up spending a lot of time trying to keep them in their bed, keep them in their room or (more importantly, personally) keep them from waking up early in the morning and simply coming out.

If they know they can get up and go start their day, you may have some 5 am wakeups on your hands. And it can take weeks to break this habit.

Toddler Beds

Toddler beds are those made specifically as the “first bed” for little ones that they’ll grow out of by the time they go to school, typically.

You can buy them at specialty stores, Amazon, or even make them yourself. They are often super cute, themed, and very low to the ground. The main goal of a toddler bed is to be sort of a transition from a crib to a normal twin or even double sized bed.

Pros

Keeping in mind that there is no right or wrong here, there are some reasons why moving your little one to a toddler bed (after the crib) may be a good fit for your family.

Space Effective– Toddler beds are generally smaller than twin beds and take up far less space. This may leave space in your little ones room to keep the changing table, or that exuberant amout of baby play toys.
Safety- Toddler beds are either going to be very close to the ground, many include a guardrail. I can see this being a benefit, especially if you have an active sleeper.
Make the Transition Easier– A toddler bed is going to “feel” more like their crib because of it’s cozy little size and the fact that it has the same mattress “feel.” You can even use your current crib mattress.
Fun Designs- They come in some seriously cute designs! I don’t know a little girl who wouldn’t be excited about getting a Disney Princess Canopy Toddler Bed or a little boy who wouldn’t think it was fun to sleep in a Bat Mobile Toddler Bed!

Cons

Alright… we’ve talked about how they can be great for transitioning your little one to a big bed. Now, what are some of the reasons why using a toddler bed might not make sense.

Short Term- Because of the smaller size, your child will outgrow his/her bed fairly quickly.
Expense- Even if you were to make one, you’re looking at spending money on an item that would not be long term. In general, toddler beds are not very expensive. The question you have to ask yourself is this: is it worth spending when we won’t use it for long.
Attachment- All the excitement you put into your little one getting a “big bed” may lead to he/she becoming emotionally attached to the little bed and once again needs to be transitioned later to a twin bed.
You can’t lie in it with them – Okay maybe I’m just a sucker for some kid cuddles, but I love lying in bed with my kiddos and reading books. I’m 5’10” so you do the math.

Twin Beds

There are several rules of thought on transitioning from a crib straight into a twin bed. Remember, don’t do this too soon.

Twin beds are quite a bit different feeling that cribs and you don’t want the trouble of trying to keep your little one in his/her bed.

Pros

Long Term Fit- You will get your money’s worth. Your little one can use this mattress for years to come. This also cuts the transition from a toddler bed out… some little ones don’t love change. Going to a twin bed may help eliminate that transition later.
Snuggles- Yay! You can now fit into your kiddo’s bed for story time snuggles before bed.
Bed Sheets/Comforter- It’s very easy to find bed clothing that matches the theme of your room or your child’s personality. It can really be a special thing for your toddler to love his/her comforter set.
Extra Space- You child now has extra space on his/her bed for stuffed animals or moving around when they sleep. My son does both. He has a “zoo” of animals and sleeps on all ends of his bed.
Creative Designs- When I first think of twin bed, I imagine a very boring mattress and frame. In reality, there are some very creative options- if you want to make your kiddo’s twin bed extra special. Here are a few: House Twin Bed, Princess Pink Twin Bed Frame, Solid Wood Bed with Relax Seat, Sport Themed Twin Bed.

Cons

SO…we took a look at some benefits to starting with a twin bed.

Now, that may not be the best fit for every kiddo. Let’s see some reasons why it may not be:

There Are No Railings- Ahhh…those handy railings at the head of toddler beds. Will your little one roll off the bed in the middle of the night and become terrified of sleeping in his/her own bed? You can create some makeshift railings or buy them, however, and this may jump it into the pro category.
Cost- The crib mattress sheets and don’t fit twin sized beds, so you’re looking at extra cost to make this transition happen. Furthermore, twin beds are slightly more expensive than toddler beds.
Space Required- Twin beds take up significantly more room than toddler beds. You’re probably going to have some moving around or down sizing on toys initially.
Tougher Transition- A twin sized bed is going to “feel” different than sleeping in a crib. Even if your child is totally ready to transition out of the crib, the task of adjusting to this bigger space may be difficult. There are ways to make it comfortable (stuffed animals, special comforters, snuggle time).

Alternatives to Toddler and Twin Beds that Work for Some Families

If you’re thinking that neither a twin nor a toddler bed is the way to go for you, here are some other options that may work:

Day Bed- Has rails on the ends and generally smaller in size than a twin. I have a friend who transitions her 3 year old into a day bed and it worked great of her.
Double Bed- If you’re looking for a little more space for stuffed animals or snuggle time.
Futon- Can be folded into a couch if needed to save on space.
Trundle- May be a great option if your toddler is moving into the room with an older sibling.
Kid’s Flip Sofa- This would work short term if you’re extremely short on space.

What if my child is anxious or resistant to the idea of moving to a different bed?

If they are resistant to moving beds, it might be too early to transition unless sleeping in the crib is becoming unsafe because they are climbing out. Involve them in choosing the new bed, sheets, pillows, etc. and make the new bed feel familiar by using their favorite blankets, stuffed animals, or comfort items. This can provide a sense of security in the new sleeping space.

How might the transition to a new bed affect siblings who share a room?

The transition might temporarily disrupt the sleep routines of both siblings. Adjusting to a new sleeping arrangement can result in more nighttime awakenings or difficulty falling asleep. This is one reason I preach to not transition from the crib too early unless it is necessary for safety. When this transition occurs, it will be important to train both siblings on sleep expectations and be consistent in how you respond to hiccups along the way.

How can I use positive reinforcement to encourage their confidence in the new bed?

Offer sincere praise for your child’s efforts in adjusting to the new bed. Affirm their bravery and willingness to try something new. Establish special bedtime rituals that are unique to the new bed. This could be reading a favorite story, snuggling with a special stuffed animal, or playing a calming bedtime game.

Sources:

Strategies For Overwhelmed Moms Who Want To Escape Life

There’s nothing so discouraging or stressful than being an overwhelmed mom. On those days you want to escape from life, here are strategies for relief.

Lately I’ve been going through a weird phase. A phase where most days I wake up and think “Oh no, it’s not another day already…..!!” and just spend most of the day wanting to escape.

Wanting to escape from the constant diaper changes and corralling and correcting and praising and disciplining.

Basically, I’m a tired mom. And sometimes escape from all the responsibilities that are weighing me down in life feels like what I need.

baby and toddler on their overwhelmed moms back

But that’s not really how life works.

Life keeps going and we must somehow go with it.

There are people to feed, bills to pay, crumbs to sweep, and jumbo size Reese’s cups to eat. Unless of course you don’t have any. And then there’s an even greater need to escape.

Read: The real reason moms never have enough time (hint: it’s not because we waste it!)

Stress relieving tips for the overwhelmed mom

It’s a stressful time for me, but not because I’m “busy” or can’t say “no.”

It just is what it is and I can’t change it. When we have young kids, it’s more important than ever we have proper boundaries because a lot of little kids can lead to feeling like an overwhelmed mom a lot of the time.

And because of that, I’ve been trying hard to find ways to escape, and then not escape, when that feeling takes me over.

Quickly, let’s dive into why moms become overwhelmed:

While this isn’t comprehensive, it covers a lot of areas that are stressful for moms.

Babies and kids aren’t sleeping well | You can start meeting your own children’s needs for sleep by sleep training, and it will help meet your own as well.
You don’t know your limits | The quickest way to mom burnout is not knowing our limits or feeling like they’re constantly being walked on.
The house is a nightmare | Some of the mess you may have to ignore, but you can start some easy tidy routines that go a long way.
You feel alone | If your husband doesn’t help much or you live far from family, it can be isolating and hard to ask for help.
The kids don’t listen well | It can feel out of control when our kids don’t listen. Here’s how to get your kids to behave.

Is my desire to escape selfishness or sanity?

Sometimes I’m selfish. I’ll admit it and don’t think anyone can say they aren’t selfish from time to time.

But sometimes, dadgummit, I’m not being selfish when I say I want to escape. I need to get away and have a break for my own sanity. If you can distinguish the difference, and know that you aren’t doing it from a selfish place, then the false guilt will go away.

And this can happen even if we’re doing everything “right.” Waking up earlier than the kids to pray or prepare for the day and being diligent about finding time alone.

Having set independent play times for the kids or putting the all down for a nap so you can rest yourself.

So many aspects of life are out of our control so being in a stressed state does not always mean you’ve done something wrong.

Weary To Well

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How overwhelmed moms plates are overflowing, and the role of false guilt

Mothers feel so guilty for so many things. In fact, we often ignore our limits then end up burning out… simply because we felt too guilty to stop.

I used to feel guilty that I had to work sometimes during the day. Until I got a grip and realized that all my children require food, shelter, clothing, and the trip to the doctor so guess what? Those things cost money.

And you know who does not earn any money or create goods I can barter for food or car insurance?

My kids!!!!

So there we have it. Working is a necessity. Bye bye false guilt. Don’t slip on all the unraked leaves on your way out.

I can’t feel guilty if my kids occasionally see me on a computer or checking an important email on my phone. If your kids need to kill a few hours at your work so you can finish your responsibilities, that’s just part of life.

Signs you actually need some time to do what needs to be done

When you want to escape so you can get some things done that need doing, this is a big sign that you actually do need some time to get things done.
You need to take a day or two and finish the to do list.
You need to ask someone to watch your kids so you can work, clean, or go to an appointment.
The desire to flee in this case is just a need to get things finished.

Read: How to live within your limits and hold your boundaries

overwhelmed mom sitting by window wincing or crying

The overwhelmed / escape cycle we create if we’re not careful

Some days I just want everyone to leave me alone for goodness sake so I can rest and read my daughter’s Nancy Drew books.

But I can’t, so maybe, to bide some time… I put on a movie.

The older kids may watch it, but the younger ones may not, then I end up with some negative behavior from the kids who watched the TV and a big mess from the little ones who were playing completely unsupervised.

So then I’m worse than before and maybe even ticked that the ploy to escape didn’t work.

I realized the kids weren’t the root cause of my stress – my lack of understanding about my boundaries was – so escaping them wouldn’t help.

And actually, by escaping them, I was creating a cycle. A cycle that is the opposite of a happy cycle. I wanted them to leave me alone because I felt stressed. They picked up on my stress and my desire to avoid them and they became clingy and needy and whiny.

Their exaggerated behavior made me want to drive (alone) to the Tabasco factory in Louisiana with a block of cheddar cheese and a box of Saltines and eat until I burned my tongue off.

And we go round and round.

How being present in the moment actually IS an escape… at least partially

So I sat back, prayed and prayed and prayed though I don’t even know what I asked for because I just felt like such an overwhelmed mom I didn’t even know where to start.

And then I decided to escape to the right place at the right time.

If I needed to get work done then I’m going to stop feeling guilty about that.
I’m going to find a way to occupy all the kids so I can work.
If I am stressed because I have practical things that need to get done, then I’m going to ask for help and get them done.

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

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And then sometimes… I’m going to escape to the kids.

Who says Facebook is more interesting than listening to my 3 year old talk about how girls can go into space? Why on earth is TV more interesting than running around in circles with the kids and pulling a hip flexer (is that a thing?) trying to impress them by kicking a ball really far?

So instead of fostering that feeling of “get me out of here” I’m going to be real. I’m going to do what I need to do, what I really need to do.

Read: How to be a present mom without going insane

You can break the cycle of overwhelm, mama!

But after I’ve done what I need to do, if I’m still feeling like a completely overwhelmed mom, I’m going to start escaping into the moment with the kids.

Escaping from the pressures that don’t always need to fill my thoughts.

Escaping from my to do list and grown-up worries.

We’ll play ring around the rosie and hide and go seek. I’ll have freeze dance parties, play tag, and kick the ball until we get tired of it. I’ll snuggle, cuddle, and put my worries aside when I look my kids in the eyes.

Instead of trying to escape from them, I’ll escape to them.

I’ll organize my life around my mental health boundaries, and then I’ll stop trying to escape my own life.

I’ll live in the present.

You can too.

How do I overcome the guilt or pride associated with asking for help?

Realizing that we are human and can’t do it all humbles us so that we are able to ask for help. Mom guilt is so prevalent but often times unnecessary. We need to be aware of our feelings of guilt or pride and the source of these feelings, so that we can identify them and work to create healthier boundaries and expectations for ourselves.

How can I avoid setting unrealistic expectations for myself and feeling disappointed when I can’t meet them?

Routines help us to divide our priorities throughout the day while seeing how much time we have left to do extra tasks. Unrealistic expectations easily steal our joy, so it’s important to determine the most important tasks that need to be accomplished on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis and take the pressure off of ourselves to constantly be productive beyond our prioritized activities.

Are there techniques to help me feel less overwhelmed?

A good starting point is identifying the source (or sources) of your overwhelm and determining if your desire to escape is out of legitimate need or selfishness. If you aren’t operating out of selfishness, release the guilt that many of us can feel for taking a break or asking for help. Routines, realistic expectations, and delegating tasks to others can also help fight overwhelm.

Sources:

The Best Christian Children’s Books Teaching Biblical Values

Are you looking for some Christian children’s books to read to your kid? This will help!

There is some crazy stuff going on these days.

Maybe more than ever it’s important we choose what our children are exposed to.

That we choose to show them things that are beautiful, noble, and that highlight good character.

I’m with you.

I am also in agreement that books are so, so awesome.

Reading to children is one of the best gifts we can give our kids. It gives us a medium to tell them beautiful stories, teach them history, and share important time together.

As they get older, it gives you a way to help discuss the important things in life.

Books are transformative within families.

Honestly, you can read them as a calm down trick or as a bedtime routine or any other time of day you’d like.

So, keep a basket of books in your bathrooms by the toilet (yes, I said that!) and watch your kids start reading more immediately because… what else are they going to do while sitting there?

It’s much better than a tablet.

Read: All-Time Best Christian Books For Women (According To Reviews)

Books for Kids on Abuse: Comforting and Healing Words

Tech on Your Terms

The “Tech on Your Terms” workshop helps parents create a step-by-step technology introduction plan that aligns with their family values, is age-appropriate, and gradually increases their children’s tech access while maintaining parental boundaries.

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The Best Christian Children’s Books

Obviously, there are tons of books out there and I can’t make an exhaustive list, but I can cobble together the ones we love in our home and the bestsellers out there to help guide you in your book purchases.

Also, if you aren’t going to buy them all today, but want to make a list, make sure and use the Lists feature in Amazon. It’ll be near your account info.

You can create as many lists as you want, the sky’s the limit!

Bibles For Pre-Readers

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite Bibles that we have in our home as well as others that are highly recommended bestsellers. I tend to love the Jesus Storybook Bible (below) the most because the imagery is so beautiful.

My daughter reads another version for her homeschooling curriculum (pros and cons of homeschooling here) and to me, the most important thing, is to get them hearing these stories at an early age.

The Jesus Storybook Bible
The Jesus Storybook Bible With CD’s & DVD’s
The Beginner’s Bible – Timeless Children’s Stories
A Child’s First Bible

Bibles For Early Readers

We bought our kids their own individual Bibles as they are able to read them.

My son is 6 and can’t really read his version too well, but my daughter is able to and we use them when we’re doing Bible studies together, for church, and when they go to kid’s church on their own.

Personally, I think that gifting your child a First Bible when they’re able to read is a great tradition and something to be cherished.

Devotionals For Pre-Readers And Early Readers

We have bought a few devotionals over the years and they are great to help draw out some conversation around certain topics. Sometimes they are easier to help introduce the Word of God to kids because they will take a verse and focus a short applicable story around that.

Very good starting off point for asking questions and getting kids to think about how the Bible is not separate from life, but a guide to life.

The One Year Devotional For Preschoolers
Grace For The Moment: 365 Devotions For Kids
The Purpose Driven Life Devotional For Kids
Duck Commander Devotions For Kids
Indescribable – 100 Devotions About God & Science
Jesus Calling – 365 Devotions For Kids
Hope For Each Day – A Year Of Devos

Family Practices & Contribution

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Children’s Books By Christian Adult Authors

Lots of famous Christian authors have wanted to write a children’s book. To narrow down a message to something even children can understand.

If you can take a complicated message and help even young ones to get it… that is a sign you’ve got a deep understanding of it. Here are a few children’s books written by well known Christian authors, speakers, singers, etc.

God’s Good News Storybook
Lizzy The Lioness
You Were Made To Make A Difference
Who Sang The First Song?
The Pumpkin Patch Parable
It Will Be Okay – Trusting God Through Fear And Change

Read: Best Christian Marriage Books By Category (According To Reviews!)

Books About Values & Character

When teaching our children about certain virtues, character traits, or values it’s helpful to read books or stories relating to this. You can draw stories out of any book – it’s true – but often reading certain books on certain topics works kind of like a unit study.

Digging deep in one area allows you to really talk it through and establish the concept on your heart.

Amazon Bestsellers in Christian Children’s Books

Here are some floating around that don’t have a specific category, per se, but are well known to be Christian in nature or written by Christian authors.

They are easy to read, easy to listen to, and help children look to and listen for higher order topics. Overall, these are great books to keep on your bookshelves and in your book baskets.

Christian Children’s Books for Older Children

So these books are either written by Christian theologians or are safe if you are wanting your children to branch out in reading, but make sure the content is something you approve of.

These are basically classics the world over that have stood the test of time. You can buy them individually or in boxed sets, but I’m linking boxed sets for ease if they’re available.

The Chronicles Of Narnia (box set)
The Little House On The Prairie (series)
Anne Of Green Gables (series)
The Prince Warriors (box set)

Books For Christian Mamas That Help Them Choose Books For Kids (did you get that? ha!)

I love reading books that give book lists at the back. These are a few that’ll help you make a good long book list on Amazon and then buy them strategically as you are able.

The books are high quality, easy to read aloud (and interesting to listen to aloud) and have quite a few classics within them as well.

The Read Aloud Family (making lasting connections)
Give Your Child The World (raising globally minded kids)
The Read Aloud Handbook
The Ultimate Read Aloud Resource

Read: Best Christian Parenting Books (Bestsellers)

Sources:

Should I preview every book before introducing it to my kids?

Previewing books before introducing it to your kids is generally a good practice, especially for younger children or when you’re unsure about the content of a particular book. This can be harder to do when you have more kids and more books, so it can be useful to use online book reviews to help save time.

Are there resources that help us verify the accuracy of biblical information presented in children’s books?

While resources can be helpful, it’s also beneficial to have a basic understanding of the Bible yourself. This way, you’ll be better equipped to assess the accuracy of the content presented in children’s books and guide your child’s learning journey. Reach out to your church community for recommendations. Church leaders, pastors, or Sunday school teachers might be able to suggest children’s books that are faithful to biblical teachings.

How can we use Christian books as a tool for family bonding and discussions about faith?

Creating shared experiences around books is a good starting point that can start discussions about what was read and related topics. Ask open-ended questions, read passages of Scripture on the topics you’re discussing, and commit to learning together as a family. If you don’t know the answer to a question, dive into your own personal study or reach out to others in your church community for clarity. Bonding happens through shared experiences and when trust is built.

A Genius Printable (and Editable) Daily Routine For Kids

Do you need a daily routine for kids that’ll help teach independence? This will help them learn to take charge of their own routine with visual reminders.

I stood in the kitchen slightly shell shocked.

Someone was squawking. Someone was crying. The other two were joining together in some type of off key round of “Mom, mom, mom, mom…”

The older kids were waiting for instruction. They needed my confirmation, a nod, or some other signal from mommy about what was next.

This is what life is with 5 kids under 6 years old.

“Our kids are like mosquitos,” I told my husband. “The swarm around picking at us until we swat them away.”

We shared a good laugh...

Naturally, we love these dadgum kids. They are rowdy and loud and energetic and wonderful. And, of course, they can be completely exhausting. Our days can be filled with endless demands and requests.

Many of these things our children simply can’t do on their own. For example, changing diapers, cooking dinner, or putting themselves in a high chair.

However, many things our kids ask us for that they are perfectly able to do on their own.

And this is where frustration comes in. Basically, we know they’re able to do things on their own. The trouble is, they aren’t able to remember multiple things at once.

Or their order.

So, they do one thing, then they come back to us (or end up running off to play) without finishing all that needs to be done.

The reality is this: kids need a touch point.

Read: Stress free morning routines for kids

Kids Need A Point Of Reference In Their Routines

Children may know how to carry out the 10 things that need doing every morning, but they need a reference point to carry them along the path.

This year, I had another child start Kindergarten. Because of that, there would be 3 school aged children getting ready in the mornings.

Family Tidy Routines

This workshop will help you build a simple 15-minute daily routine that fits into real life—so the house stays (mostly) clean and the kids finally learn to help. Because a clean home is a team effort, not a one-mom show.

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I can’t be the touch point for 20 separate tasks.

So to avoid running around reminding the kids of 456 things to do while I, too, had to get ready, we started using our printable routine cards. These routine cards have words and pictures and can be hung up in any order.

Now, my kids now use these printable cards (not me) as their reference point for their morning routines. I actually do not have to nag ONE BIT in the mornings. And, the closest I come is, “Keep working on your list!”

It has truly taken our mornings from chaotic to smooth sailing.

Read: The Crucial Elements of a Rock Solid Toddler Routine

A Daily Routine For Kids Includes The Following:

Wake time (when it’s okay for kids to come out of their rooms)
Meal and snack times
Rest and bedtimes
Independent play and free play times

A Sample Schedule Might Go Like This

6:30 am – Wake up, read books, Play Quietly

7:00 am – Breakfast, clean up table area, morning chores

8:00 am – Play independently

8:45 am – Run errands, play outside, do homeschool preschool or learning activity, free play, outdoor play

9:30 am – Snack (snacking tips for kids here)

12:00 pm – Lunch with family

1:00 pm – Down for nap, if child is going through a sleep regression, still put your toddler down for a rest, they are likely to fall asleep

3:00 pm – Wake up, have snack, play quietly, cuddle time with mom

6:00 pm – Dinner with family

6:45 pm – Wind down, bedtime routine, bath

7:30 pm – Bedtime

Printable (and Editable) Daily Routines for Kids

Research files self-directed checklists (or printable cards hung in order) under the umbrella term “agile development.”

Essentially, this means creating systems and routines that help families meet their ever adapting needs in a way that serves all. Therefore, by having these printable cards hung up in each child’s room – and in our kitchen – they are learning self-direction and independence.

Another big benefit, if I’m being honest, is I don’t have to run around like a chicken with my head cut off.

So, here’s what’s in the printable routine cards:

You can fully customize your child’s reference points each morning and help minimize chaos.

40+ routine cards with pictures and images pre-made for you. You can simply print, cut, and hang up.
40+ blank cards without the names so you can add in your own words or language.
2 editable templates you can use to customize your own routines. Using Mac Pages or Microsoft Word you can create a totally unique set of cards to hang up that fit your family’s needs.

Reference points for routines just plain work.

My 5 year old son is a methodical person. He gets up and follows the routine so closely that he’s ready and eating breakfast in less than 10 minutes. Fully dressed with his bag packed. This is serious business, people!

Step-by-Step Process For Using the Cards

It’s an easy process to get in and get started. You’ll be amazed how quickly the kids catch on.

First, get the printable routine cards and edit them as you wish. I like to print on cardstock or even photo paper if you have it lying around. I also purchased this inexpensive laminator and laminating sleeves and laminate all the cards so they can be used for multiple children.
Have your child look at all the routine cards you’re going to hang up. If they don’t read yet, have them guess what they think each cards means based on their routine. Get them familiar with the cards and explain they’re going to use these cards to do things on their own like the Big Kids they are.
Allow your child to help you choose which order to hang the cards and where, then hang them up! Take a few days before you need the child to use them and carry out the routine with them. Point to each card and then let them tell you what it says. Keep saying “Refer to your cards!” and they’ll get the hang of figuring out what’s next.
The day you want your child to use their cards, calmly ask them to follow their cards and let you know if they need help. Check in periodically and see how things are going. Don’t get frustrated, simply help them refer to the cards.

Before you know it, they’ll fly through the cards without a word from you!

printable daily routine cards laying on floor with child looking at them

Read: The Stay At Home Mom Schedule That’ll Keep You Sane

Ways You Can Use the Printable Daily Routines for Kids

Here are some other ways you can use the printable routine cards in your family based on what readers have done:

A visual schedule in the preschool classroom (we actually offer a licensed copy for teachers)
A toddler daily routine chart (the cards have morning, meal time, chore time, and evening routines included)
A preschooler routine (for your little ones who need to get ready before heading out to preschool)
A bedtime routine chart for toddlers and preschoolers (bedtime cards are included in the pack)

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

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How To Make The Printable Cards Work For You

Children love to feel independent and competent. As long as you are accessible should any issues arise, children are happy to take care of themselves.

My children pride themselves on being able to follow their routine without any fussing and it makes for a much more peaceful morning.

1. Hang Them Up

The best way to use your printable daily routines for kids is to hang them up. You can use putty, tape, or velcro. You can attach them to a bulletin board or with magnets.

Whatever you do, the best way to make sure they’re accessible for children and easy to use is to have them in an easy to see location.

daily routines for kids printable on wall

2. Refer To The Cards

If your child comes back to you as their touch point, simply refer to the cards.

“Oh, you’ve already woken up and used the potty, let’s see what’s next!”

As you continue to reference the printable daily routines your child will get the hang of it. They’ll see that you are a wasted step and will simply refer to the cards themselves. This is the goal. Be sure you are present and in and out as they are getting ready, but refer them back to the cards when needed.

3. Say What You See® And Name A Strength

Observe all your children are doing. In the Language of Listening® framework, you simply Say What You See®. Essentially, you say what you see them doing, then you add a strength to it.

“You put on your shoes all by yourself. You are capable.”

“Hey, you straightened the bed. It is very neat.”

“Look at that, you poured your own cereal, you are independent.”

By praising your child’s efforts they’ll not only feel happy you are paying attention, but they’ll begin to be proud of their own developing independence.

This is the goal, for your child to be able to take care of themselves in a way they are likely to continue.

Stop The Nagging Today

If you want your children to grow in independence and start using something else as their reference point in the mornings, these printable daily routines will help.

As a result of using the cards, not only will your child move faster, but there will be fewer power struggles and more positive attitudes as a result.

It has truly transformed our mornings. It will do the same for yours.

Sources:

What chores or responsibilities can be included in their routine?

Anything that you determine is age-appropriate and they can complete independently can be included. When we are including chores or other responsibilities in their routines, it’s important to train kids in how to complete the activity before expecting them to complete it as part of their independent routine. We follow the “I do” (where a parent models how to do the chore), “we do” (when the parent and child complete the task as a team), and “you do” (when the child completes the task with parent supervision until we are confident that they can do it independently). After doing this for a few days, we will add it into their routine with a new routine card.

How do we help our child transition smoothly from one activity to another?

Transitions can be difficult for kids, but they are often smoother when the child can anticipate them and knows what activity is coming next. This is why I love routine cards – they are a great visual reminder of upcoming parts of the day that helps kids get a better sense of daily rhythms. Often times when routines are in place, transitions become easier over time because there is a predictable structure to the day

The Pros to Finding Out (and Not Finding Out) Your Baby’s Gender

Inside you’ll find pros and cons to finding out the gender of your baby. I’ve done it both ways and this is where I’ve landed. Post contains affiliate links.

“If we have a girl… I have no idea what we’ll name her,” I said in between contractions.

The nurses in the delivery room began telling me their own children’s names for inspiration and there were a few I liked but nothing really stood out. It didn’t end up mattering…

A few minutes later, after one big push, I delivered my baby.

Immediately, without saying a word, she flipped the baby upside down so I could see the bottom…

pregnant mom holding blue and pink pairs of baby shoes

“It’s a boy!”

Our fourth baby, our first gender surprise.

And now that I’m pregnant again (and we know exactly how pregnancy feels) we are going to be surprised again.

Because I love it.

Because it’s fun.

At this point, with 5 kids in 5 years – we don’t need any baby gear and we have clothes of both genders.

Should You Find Out Your Baby’s Gender?

If you’re asking yourself, “Should I find out the gender of my baby?” then it sounds like you’re questioning your gut. Sit with it for a while, you’ll know the answer.

There’s no right or wrong answer, as they say…

When can I find out?

You can usually find out your baby’s gender by about 20 weeks, give or take, depending on when they schedule your scan.

The earliest time to find out the gender of your baby is a blood test and it can be given around 8 weeks.

What are the Pros to finding out baby gender?

Many people want to find out because otherwise they’ll miss out on having a gender reveal party. You can still find creative ways to throw parties during this season, however.

With our first three children, we found out the baby’s sex.

We were “surprised at the ultrasound” as my friend says.

Here are pros we discovered when we found out- with our first:

You can prepare down to minute detail | I’m not really one to go overboard with these types of details, but it’s nice to be able to buy headbands, clothes, shoes, gender appropriate blankets, and all that kinda jazz. Blue car seats. A pink Bumbo. You get the idea. As long as they don’t end up being wrong about the gender (which does happen)
You just know already | With our first we were applying for visas, moving overseas, and in a state of upheaval. In that moment, I couldn’t stand the thought that one more thing in our life was unknown. I wasn’t sure where we’d deliver the baby and, when she was 3 months we didn’t even know where we’d be living. If I could know, I just wanted to.
You can prepare your nursery | If this baby is your first or second, this is a common reason people find out. They want to deck out their nursery in a theme or style that matches the baby’s gender. It’s definitely a stressful thing to be trying to put together a coordinating and sophisticated nursery when you, ahem, have the newborn. You may be barely mentally surviving the newborn stage, so that might not be an option for you.

Read: When You Feel Like You’ll Be Pregnant Forever

Rooted in Family

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More pros to finding out baby gender…

You can get things monogrammed | Oh, come on. I had to say it. I’m from the South and we love personalization. Whether it’s crib sheets, swaddles, diaper bags, or nursery room decoration, people like to know a name and put it on things. This would backfire, however, if you saw the baby and felt the name didn’t really go. This also happens.
You can pick a name | You know the gender, you aren’t splitting your focus between boy and girl names. I mean unless you want a name that could go with either gender in which case it’s probably still the same amount of work. This book is the most comprehensive baby name book ever.
You aren’t “disappointed” | This is a reason many people give. That they don’t want to hope for one gender for 10 months then be disappointed at delivery. They hope finding out the gender at the ultrasound will help give them time to come to terms with the gender before the baby is born. I’ve never been one to care about the gender and currently have 1 girl and 4 boys.
You can feel more connected to baby | By being able to speak to, pray for, and think about your baby specifically as a boy or girl it can help foster a connection or sense you already “know” your child a bit.

Read: Pregnancy Fitness: Your Ultimate Resource Guide

What are the Pros to NOT Finding Out Your Baby’s Gender?

Finding out the sex of the baby cannot be undone, so if you are on the fence… just tell them you don’t want to know.

If at any point you decide you do want to know, they’ll tell you.

Here are pros we love about NOT finding out the baby gender:

It’s fun | It is exciting to look forward to delivery. There are so many things about delivery that cause fear about labor so this is one thing that you can look forward to. Not just holding your baby, but finding out what God has gifted you with. After having been surprised at delivery once, I think it’s an absolutely amazing experience you’ll never forget.
It’s back to the basics | For those who embrace natural, this is another way to get back to how things were done a long time ago without technological intervention. You were pregnant, prayed the baby was developing normally, had it, then knew what you were working with. Culturally speaking, some countries find out the gender far less than others. In both Australia and Scotland where I’ve given birth, I’d estimate over half did not find out the gender.

You can make a poll | Instead of having a gender reveal party while you’re still pregnant, you can have fun with people trying to guess the gender. Family members can have a good time guessing and making bets.
You don’t get misinformation | My Scottish midwife told me that by policy the NHS (National Health Service) does not tell parents the gender. One too many people got misinformed, made major life changes (like buying a new house so a boy and girl didn’t have to share), then sued. If you don’t know you can’t get told wrongly.
You get to partake in the mystery of life | How many things in life that are precious are truly a mystery? It almost has a sacred feeling, that something so important is having in secret. And truthfully, it’s worth the wait.