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Why I’m Not Sending My 4 Year Old to Preschool & What I’m Doing Instead

I originally wrote this post some years ago and, since then, have had multiple children who did NOT go to preschool enter into school, make straight A’s, and excel. So this isn’t a “you should” but a “there might be another way” type of post.

From Kindergarten to Senior Year, kids will spend around 11,700 hours in school. And that’s a conservative estimate.

Kids gotta learn, right?

Of course they do.

They’ll learn to read, write, do math, and (hopefully) name all 50 states in alphabetic order through song. They’ll learn about crushes, friendships, and how to handle homework.

They’ll think about clubs to join, getting their driver’s licenses, taking standardized tests, which college they want to go to, and figure out what they want to be when they grow up.

One day we’ll be packing up and sending them away to start life on their own.

But that day is not today because my daughter is only 4 years old.

We hem hawed about preschool. Visited preschools (on two continents), talked about it ad nauseum with anyone would listen (or pretended to listen) and debated.

How many days should we send her to preschool?

Should we send her for just the morning or for a full day?

Two days in a row?

Being from a small town, there actually weren’t many options.

Most preschools were 5 days a week or, if you wanted to go less, you pretty much paid the same amount.

I know preschool is great for some kids. I know most people send their kids to preschool.

And, I know it’s even seen as a ‘rite of passage’ to some. I get that and believe wholeheartedly that each family is different and knows what’s best for them.

After all, we can know if we’re making wise parenting choices and we can remind ourselves of this if we’re feeling false guilt.

But after talking, thinking, praying, and budgeting we decided that we won’t send her to preschool right now. And… I’ve committed in my heart to do some other things instead.

(Note: Hands Free Life helped give this decision legs).

So what will we do instead?

What We’ll Do Instead Of Sending Our Child To Preschool

These are just personal to us, and part of our family culture. What you would do if you didn’t want to send your child to preschool might be different.

And that’s okay.

We’ll sleep late and snuggle.

My kids wake up around 7:30 am each morning and have since birth. It is possible to get your kids to sleep later, and it’s so nice. We will (and are) starting the day slow.

The older kids have to “make” their beds before they come out of their rooms in the morning, then they come to our room.

Lets face it, we all laze around on the bed and tell the baby how wonderful he is, we talk about things like dreams, plans for the day, and what they’d prefer for breakfast.

It is SO nice not to have to start the day rushing.

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Smooth Start Morning Routines

Mornings don’t have to feel like a mad dash of lost shoes, whining, and cold coffee. Here’s a simple, no-nag plan to get kids up, ready, and out the door on time — without the rage.

Start Now

Related Reads:

We’ll have laid back breakfasts.

This’ll be my last year without having to worry about rushed mornings.

No hurried “get dressed” and “finish your breakfast” or “where’s your backpack?“

We can mosey on down to the kitchen by 8 a.m. and drag out breakfast until nearly 9 o’clock.

In our pajamas. And, if inspiration strikes (or maybe if it doesn’t) we can stay in our pajamas most of the morning. Not because we’re lazy. Or because we are slobs.

But… because this is a super short season of life where we won’t “have to.”

Related Reads:

We’ll spend time with family.

There are family members who are already retired, and we’re going to spend time with them. Just yesterday my aunt made biscuits and tomato gravy for her farmer husband’s lunch, so we all piled up, went over, and visited.

My daughter won’t be able to do that next year, except on weekends, so we’re going to take advantage of spontaneous “I’m making your favorite meal, want to come over?” phone calls mid-day.

Connection & Culture

13-18, 6-12

Rooted in Family

Family life shouldn’t feel like a blur of to-do lists that leave you wondering if the memories are even sticking. This workshop helps you define your family’s core values and create simple, meaningful traditions that bring everyone closer without adding pressure.

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Related Reads:

We’ll be busy outside.

We’ve started a garden a ways away from the house. We treated the soil, set up the sprinkler, and are busy growing seedlings in the barn before we transplant them.

One day we spontaneously made a scarecrow (seen below) and most days we walk around quite a bit. I try to get my steps in which means we’ll just wander aimlessly but fast.

We will look in the pond, at insects, and the kids will get filthy and dirty. I love it.

A photo posted by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Aug 8, 2015 at 8:54am PDT

Related Reads:

We’ll enjoy long naps.

Afternoon pickup: the death march for baby and toddler naps.

Instead of waking up 3 kids to do a preschool pickup… we won’t.

Some days the kids sleep until 4, 4:30 or even 5! If they nap late we might move back dinner and bedtime a bit. There’s no rush to do this, rush to do that.

Related Reads:

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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We’ll do school for fun.

My kids love ABCmouse.

The kids get to create their own learning path and do lessons that are interactive, fun, and suited to the child’s level.

My kids think it’s so fun they’ll watch each other play. The standards are up to public school level and it’s a great way to add in a bit of learning without the drama.

Psst… Get one month of ABCmouse free by clicking here.

Related Reads:

We’ll read a lot.

My daughter is quite bright. Okay, okay, don’t we all think that?

Because of that I know it’s good to challenge her, but I also know that she challenges herself.

We bought this Amelia Bedelia set for her first chapter books and we’re already looking forward to the next books. Kindergarten will start and with it homework and then lessons and units. For now, we’re going to read for fun.

Related Reads:

toddlers and preschoolers reading books on bed

We’ll do life together.

As the kids get older life will inevitably get busier. More scheduled. More involved.

More will be required of the kids and therefore of myself, so this year we’re going to just do simple life. I’ll teach her (and the others) how to do more cooking.

We’ll go grocery shopping. I’ll make sure they continue doing chores, cleaning, and I’ll teach them some more personal hygiene skills. Of course kids learn throughout the entirety of their childhood, but this year we’ll do these things in a relaxed way.

Related Reads:

We’ll try our hand at nothing.

If we wake up to a dreary rainy day and feel like doing nothing, we will.

Or if we wake up and get a wild hair to do something fun that day, we will.

Whereas in future years we’ll have to go to school, honor our commitments, and do the work, right now we don’t. She doesn’t have to go to school.

I don’t have to make her.

Connection & Culture

Setting Your Family Pace

Family life shouldn’t feel like a constant race. This workshop helps you build a balanced, sustainable pace that handles responsibilities while making space for rest, connection, and what really matters.

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We’ll make sure she’s prepared.

My mom works in a school and understand what my daughter needs to know before starting. She knows letters, numbers, colors shapes, how to write her name, and she’s even started sounding out letters to read a bit.

She can sit still, pay attention, and obey instructions.

If she misses anything, I’m sure she’ll pick it up.

We’ll enjoy this season.

This is the major thing I want to do. Right now I have an overwhelming sense we need to relax and enjoy this season of life. If you have not read Hands Free Life, I urge you to do so.

Next year life will be different. Next year my daughter will be one year older. And next year I’ll have school lunches and homework and pickups.

It’ll be awesome in its own way, but I’m not going to rush it.

Preschool is great, but it’s not a necessity.

Learning is a must, but it comes in many forms.

Each family has the freedom of choice, and we are happy with ours.

Preschool Or Not FAQ

Do kids have to go to preschool?

No. Kids are not required to go to preschool. In fact, preschool was started to give under privileged children support so they could begin Kindergarten on grade level.

In fact, in some states, children aren’t even required to go to Kindergarten! If you teach your child the basics of counting, letters, colors, numbers, and how to sit still and pay attention, then they will be able to pick up what they need in Kindergarten.

Will kids be behind if they don’t go to preschool?

From what I’ve read, children who have gone to preschool can have a leg up on the other kids for a few months. And then, as usually happens, basic IQ, intelligence, and effort will even things out. A child might be slightly behind at the beginning of school, but be above other students after a month or two.

My daughter never went to preschool and at the end of the year scored the highest score on the standardized test in her whole class. I don’t live or die by standardized tests, but this proved to me that our decision to not send our kids to preschool was right for us.

Do your own research, but know that if you are reading with your child and teaching them the basics, they will be just fine.

Is it against the law if my child doesn’t go to preschool?

No. Each state has different requirements, but preschool is not one of them. Some states don’t even require children to go to Kindergarten, so do research for your particular state or country.

Will kids not learn social skills if they don’t go to preschool?

This depends.

If you have an only child and they never play with other kids, and skip preschool, they may be more shy and have an adjustment in Kindergarten learning to play with the other kids.

However, if you have play dates with others, go to youth or children activities at your church or in your neighborhood, and your child is used to other kids, then they will learn social skills. I personally think that a lot of the socialization that happens at school is quite negative, so the idea of socialization isn’t an end all for me.

We are 95% sure we are not sending our 4 year old to preschool this coming fall, but I am terrified going to kindergarten next year (full days, 5 days a week) will be a huge shock/hard transition. Any advice?

This is a great question!

I was worried about this myself with my child who didn’t start Kindergarten until he was 5, nearly 6. In fact, my first 3 children all did NOT go to preschool and then started with 5 full days. And, you know what? They all did just fine.

They were mentally, emotionally, and developmentally ready for Kindergarten, and were able to transition well.

What are some academic skills that we should focus on if we skip preschool?

Some academic skills you could focus on include: letter sounds, identifying letters and numbers, counting sequences up to 20, and identifying colors and basic shapes. Non-academic skills are also important to practice such as: following instructions, emotional regulation, social skills, being a good friend… the list goes on!

How can I provide a structured learning environment at home if we skip preschool?

Routines are key! We are prioritizing play, connection, and reading above structured preschool activities in our home. However, if you choose to have structured learning time, find a routine that works well for your family and stick to it (think: time of day, activities leading up to and following learning time, etc.) Try it out for a week and adjust the routine if it isn’t working. Try working in a separate place from distractions and make it engaging and specific to your child’s needs and interests!

How To Mentally & Emotionally Survive the Newborn Phase

If you’ve just had a baby and feel a bit stressed, never fear. Here are some tips on how to mentally and emotionally survive the newborn phase.

Well I’ve done it. I’ve had 5 babies in 5years and I’ve lived to tell about it.

I’ll not say every moment was sunshine and sunscreen, but here I am. Alive to change 3,567 more diapers and say “No, you can’t have mommy’s coffee,” for one more day.

Each mother is different (which is a great thing) and some fare better with different phases than others. I find the newborn phase delightful, but don’t particularly enjoy the early toddler (12 – 24 month) phase.

They are all full of challenges and joyous moments, but I believe that many mothers really struggle during the very early days.

Maybe all moms but…

Particularly if you’re a first time mom.

And if your baby has days and nights confused.

Or has colic.

And you’re having breastfeeding issues.

You know. Life.

I think the newborn phase – though stressful – can be one where you lay some great foundations in your new bundle’s life that continue to reap benefits for months and years to come.

Read: Life Changing Advice For New Moms (That Your Dr. Won’t Tell You!)

So, how can you survive and even thrive during this phase?

Here are my thoughts.

1. Start out how you can hold out

My grandmother has always given me wise advice. One of the first things she told me after I had my firstborn was to “start out how you can hold out.” Simply put, don’t start doing things you aren’t willing to keep doing.

Now, obviously there are things you do with a newborn you don’t do with a 1 year old. Or conversely, start habits early that you’d like to continue.

If you nurse, you may want to know how to get a breastfed baby to take a bottle so you can have some breaks here and there.

Breaks matter!

However, if you find yourself doing elaborate things to get the baby to settle (because you’ve got a whiny baby) or you are running around in circles to do simple things, it’s time to step back and weigh, test, and measure.

In the sleepless newborn fog it’s easy to do things that don’t make sense.

By doing some hard work on the front end you’ll save yourself a lot of stress later and you won’t have to break multiple bad habits.

Read: Start Out How You Can Hold Out

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

2. Work on the sleep

Newborns are going to wake up all night long to feed because they need it. This is unavoidable.

However, you can help them develop good sleeping habits from the beginning that will transition naturally into babies who start sleeping through the night and who nap well.

You can use these baby sleep checklists to help troubleshoot baby sleep issues.

Read: End Baby’s Witching Hour — In 4 Simple Steps

It is for your own sanity that both you and your baby get adequate sleep.

The goal is not to deprive them of food so they sleep through the night, but that you create an environment that encourages sleep and helps set your newborn up to be a well-rested baby.

And (I’ve got a secret for you) when other people’s 3-month-olds “wake up” and stop sleeping, you’ll have one who goes down for naps without fussing and who sleeps long stretches at night.

Related Reads:

3. Get some “you” time

If you’re trying to survive the newborn phase, this is one of the best things you can do.

When it’s your first child you will be able to nap when the baby naps. If you already have children and a newborn this doesn’t always play out how you’d like.

I do get a 30-45 minute nap daily even with 4 kids at home most days, but I have to fight for it!

Whether you have a family member, neighbor, or babysitter come occasionally, or you just maximize your time, it’s so important to have wind down and recharge time built into your schedule.

If you are like me (and you hope you aren’t) then it’s not a luxury to have alone time, it’s a necessity. You may have to move mountains to get it, but it’s worth the effort.

Whether it’s ‘during independent play or even tummy time, make it happen.

Read: Finding time for yourself in the everyday

4. Don’t fill your emotional basement

Baby blues and postpartum depression are a reality for many mothers. However, even without those you’ll still be experiencing a myriad of emotions post delivery.

New baby means new routine.

Older siblings will behave differently while adjusting. You’ll have to figure out how it all fits together. You may feel more frustrated, angry, lonely, or sad than normal.

Read: Want an Easy Baby? Then Use A Foolproof Baby Schedule

Whatever you do… don’t just say “oh it’s fine” and ignore it. That will not work out for you. You have something called an emotional basement and during the postpartum period you will be very tempted to fill it.

We actually need empty emotional basements, so you must be real with how you’re actually feeling. Surviving the newborn phase necessitates you are present with your emotions so they don’t overwhelm you.

Read: Healing for Damaged Emotions

Motherhood & Wellbeing

13-18, 6-12

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

Start Now

5. Let your husband help

If your husband is home then let him help. Can he change diapers and bathe the baby or older kids? Let him. If he doesn’t volunteer, ask him. If he acts uninterested, pressure him.

Okay I’ll stop dispensing relationship advice, but do ask for help. If your husband works a lot then ask a family member or friend.

If you push yourself past the point of coping then you’ll end up having to get help anyway so… swallow your pride and ask.

Read: Why your husband isn’t doing you a favor by watching the kids and How to help your husband help you with the kids

Postpartum Phase FAQ

When do newborns get easier?

This is a tough question, but I want to give you hope. There is no cut and dry answer, but by around 3 months of age, you and baby will likely settle into a routine. It all depends on why things are tough with your little one.

So, if baby isn’t sleeping at all right now, then a sleep schedule will probably help. If baby is feeding every hour on the hour, then know that will slow down as baby is able to drink more and eventually have solids.

If you find yourself feeding all day long, the key is to have a breastfeeding schedule you can live with that utilizes cluster feeding on purpose, not on accident.

How can I manage breastfeeding challenges or feeding challenges in general?

Feeding challenges can be a hurdle for many mms to enjoy the newborn phase. Whether you are facing digestive issues or latching challenges, feeding a newborn can be overwhelming. You are not alone! Ask others to help you with tasks unrelated to feeding so you can focus and conserve your energy. If you have any questions or concerns on your feeding journey, do not hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician or lactation consultant.

How can I bond with my newborn?

Some of my favorite ways to bond with my newborns include (but are not limited to): skin-to-skin, cuddling, singing songs, reading books to them, taking time to admire their features, and baby wearing.

Want some printables to hang up?

If you want routines and schedules for not only the 6 to 9 month age, but for the 12 month, 18 month, and on I’ve got great news. I’ve created a book chock full of routines that work.

Routines that keep babies well rested, happy, and content.

They also account for all the things you need to do and they are mom tested. The best part? The book comes with printable routines (3 choices for each age) that you can hang up and use!

So instead of having to reinvent the wheel every few months, you’ll have tried and true mom tested routines right at your fingertips.

Read: Cocooning a Newborn & 7 Reasons Why it Can Be Good For The Family

Sources:

Top 10 Reasons Why Your Baby Can’t Sleep (In Order)

Inside you’ll find the top 10 reasons your baby won’t sleep. The reason is probably easier than you think.

There is nothing quite like that feeling.

The manic, middle of the night, I’ve-been-up-so-many-times-I-think-I’m-going-insane-feeling.

Even if it only lasts a few nights in a row, it is extremely difficult and debilitating to be awake for hours at night.

As days turn into weeks turn into months… everyone in the home suffers including the sweet baby, when no one is sleeping through the night.

It’s rough when your baby won’t sleep

While you might be willing in heart to wait this out, your mental health tells you differently.

Never fear, however, because we were all born to have restorative regenerative sleep, and babies are no different.

They aren’t always able to teach themselves to sleep on their own, but with some gentle and consistent help from you (and some good sleep habits) they will get it!

Top 10 Reasons Your Baby Won’t Sleep

While there will be more factors than these alone, these are the top 10 most common reasons.

If you want to turn around baby’s sleeping habits, get our daily baby logs to start noticing trends. That alone may help you locate the problem area.

Read These While You’re At It

12 Medical Reasons Your Baby’s Not Sleeping (With Symptoms Of Each)

2-Year-Old Sleep Regression – Common Signs & Guaranteed Solutions

7 Reasons Your Baby Still Wakes Up At Night – And What To Do Baby and Toddler SLEEP FAQs…Answered (with Video)

Baby Won’t Sleep In The Bassinet? Here’s Why & What To Do

Common Habits That Help and Hurt Baby’s Sleep

Daycare Won’t Rock Baby To Sleep? Here’s What To Do.

Is Sleep Training Necessary? No. Also, Yes.

Your baby can’t sleep because she’s overtired

It is a huge misconception that babies who are super tired will sleep better.

They will not.

They will sleep worse, baby wakes more, and becomes fussier and whinier overall. There will be more tossing and turning and they will have more difficulty staying asleep.

Quite simply, it backfires every time.

To prevent overtiredness, keep your baby on a schedule. You’ll want a nap schedule and a bedtime schedule.

Read: How to Stop Contact Naps (Peacefully)- and What to Do Instead

Then, if your baby is overtired, put them to bed earlier than normal. Putting your baby to bed when they are already exhausted will make it much harder for baby to stay asleep.

Baby is overstimulated

Similar to over tiredness, overstimulation makes it very difficult for a baby to get to sleep.

Overstimulation occurs when a baby’s environment is so stimulating they are unable to calm down easily and end up hyper-alert, fussy, and even fidgety and anxious.

If your baby is overstimulated, he’ll have trouble falling asleep and then have trouble staying asleep.

Imagine being at a full day meeting, conference, or training. After a while the new information starts to make you crave a break. You need to stop learning and start processing what you’ve learned.

Babies are no different. Too many screens, noise from older siblings, toys, books, scene changes, errands, and people talking in their faces will make them overstimulated.

You can prevent this by keeping them on a good routine, guarding their rest, and giving them a proper wind down before nap or bedtimes. This is something really to pay attention to if you are having some witching hours.

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5

Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

Baby can’t sleep because there’s no routine

No routine is the same from family to family.

And it definitely doesn’t have to be!

You don’t have to do certain specific things, you just need regularity, stability, and consistency with your babies.

➡️ Research is so overwhelmingly in favor of routine, there is absolutely no reason your baby shouldn’t have one.

They’ll sleep better, eat better, be happier, and make life more peaceful. For a visual reminder of your baby’s wind down and bedtime routine, you can use these printable routine cards in the nursery.

Sleep aids are a great way to create positive sleep association and these include listening to music, gentle rocking, and doing the same things at the same time every day. Routines help babies establish their circadian rhythm in a way that promotes good sleep.

Read: How To End Day And Night Confusion In 3 Days Or Less

Read These While You’re At It

Here is a 5 month schedule and 5 month routine for your baby.

A 5 Month Old Schedule (With Feeding & Sleeping Times!)

A 7 Month Old Feeding Schedule That Works Like A Charm

A 9 to 12 Month Routine Guaranteed to Make Happy Babies

A Newborn Routine That Works Every Time

Baby’s First Year: The Ultimate Month By Month Guide

The 6 to 9 Month Routine Your Baby Will Love

Want an Easy Baby? Then Use A Foolproof Baby Schedule

Baby is awake too long before napping and then won’t go down at naptime

You may think your baby isn’t “tired” because they are able to stay up a long time. Whether your baby can stay up a long time or not doesn’t mean much.

Except that they are able to keep being awake when they could actually be sleeping.

Babies under 4 months old will need a nap about 1.5 hours after they wake. This will mean multiple shorter naps per day.

Read: The Nap Trap- How to Deal with It and Not Resist It

This is good and right!

By the age of 9 months babies still need to only be awake around 2 hours after they last woke. At this point they’ll feel tired and need to go down to nap otherwise sleep problems will occur.

Again, multiple naps throughout the day, after every feeding essentially. See a guide for baby sleep times (naps and nighttime included) here.

I have had 5 babies with 5 different personalities all of whom followed these loose guidelines and all of whom napped well.

If your baby is awake too long, they will fight sleep.

Read: The Top 10 Indicators It’s Time to Sleep Train

Baby has a sleep prop and can’t sleep without it

If your baby needs something only you can give them to go to sleep, they have a sleep prop. (This does not include milk which they need to survive, but can’t get on their own.)

This may mean rocking to sleep, nursing to sleep, laying on you, and many more things.

If they can’t get themselves back to sleep because they need you to do something for them they won’t sleep long and they won’t sleep well.

Sleep habits are the single most important thing you can focus on.

Baby has a physical or medical discomfort

Acid reflux will make it difficult for your child to sleep since they are in pain. Follow your pediatrician’s advice for how to bring your baby comfort.

If your baby usually sleeps well then stops All Of a Sudden, it could be something like a sore throat or ear infection. I’d rule out any sleep disorders or medical issues before trying to sleep train.

Also teething can disrupt sleep for a time. If they’ve always slept well then stopped, look for something medical first.

Read: How to handle teething without having sleep regressions

Babe can’t transition from active to passive sleep alone

All humans naturally go through both active and passive sleep cycles. As babies transition from one to the other (every 45 to 60 minutes or so) they will rouse lightly.

If they know how to put themselves back to sleep they’ll just keep sleeping. If they have a sleep prop and can’t go to sleep on their own, they will wake up.

This is the culprit for short naps and frequent night waking.

The way to help babies transition through this is to teach them to sleep on their own by putting them in their cribs drowsy but awake.

Read: Mom Habits That Are Barriers To Peaceful Baby Sleep

Boundaries & Behavior

0-5, 6-12

Goodnight Bedtime Battles

This workshop will give you a simple, sanity-saving bedtime system that actually works—one that helps your kids wind down, fall asleep without endless stalling, and stay asleep (so you can finally get some rest).

Start Now

child holding stuffed animal with pacifier

Baby won’t sleep because he doesn’t eat enough solids

If your baby is 5 months or older and not on solids they will likely wake frequently at night.

I’m not telling you to feed them solids if your pediatrician suggested you wait until 6 months or you aren’t ready, but the reason they are waking is because they are legitimately hungry.

When you start giving them ample solids you will see improvement in sleep. In the hours before bedtime it’s important to make sure baby is eating well and feeling full.

Baby also won’t sleep if he snacks too much and isn’t getting enough milk.

Read: Breastfeeding Schedules Month By Month: Birth To 1 Year Of Age

Your little one is too hot or cold

This is always what you hope is the issue!

I once had a son wake up multiple times a night for a week until I finally realized he was cold, poor thing.

I added another layer to his nighttime wear and voila. Sleeping through. If you notice they are sweaty, shed a layer.

➡️ Keep in mind babies usually need one more layer than we adults do to be comfortable.

Read: Foolproof Baby Sleep Tips — Routines, Habits & Strategies

Baby can’t sleep because she’s having a growth spurt or wonder week

Often our babies will go from sleeping well to having struggles.

One thing I’m always aware of is whether they are having a growth spurt. If so, I give them more milk and/or solids throughout the day.

I change up their routine a bit to allow giving them more of what they need. This will also help if you need to get up your milk supply.

A “wonder week” is a concept made popular by this book that shows you which weeks your baby is likely to start acting fussy based on developmental leaps.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

Additional Reasons That Prevent Babies Sleeping Well

Here are a few honorable mentions.

Teething. Babies who already sleep well typically aren’t that disrupted by teething. Normally just the day or two prior to cutting a tooth. If your baby hasn’t ever slept well and is still resisting sleep, it likely isn’t teething.
Colic and gas. Colic can certainly result in some lost sleep as can witching hours. Colic will typically be done by 12 months and won’t affect every nap. In fact, babies with colic often sleep well at night. Comfort baby best you can and make sure and find support for yourself.
Growth spurts. Infants who are going through growth spurts can often become more hungry than before and it can present as sleep issues. If you suspect a growth spurt, then feed baby upon waking from naps and nighttime sleep and, if it’s a growth spurt, it’ll fix itself.
Separation anxiety. Sometimes separation anxiety can affect the wind-down routines and sleep. Read this post for strategies to combat this.
Sleep environment. Make sure the baby’s sleep environment for nap and nighttime is conducive to sleep. Lights down low, white noise, blackout curtains, etc.

Read These While You’re At It

5 Safe Sleep Rules You’re Probably Breaking

6 Baby Products That Help Newborns Sleep Well From The Start

A No-Fuss Guide To Sleep Training (With Printable!)

Baby Bedtime: 4 Essential Elements To Success

Baby Sleep Times: The Ultimate Guide To Naps, Nights, & Sleep

How Long Does a 3 Year Old Nap For? Well… It Depends.

Is Sleep Training A Baby Bad Or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

Sleep Arrangements For Siblings When You Don’t Want Them To Share

The 6 to 9 Month Routine Your Baby Will Love

Inside: A 6 month to 9 month schedule routine for your baby.

Congratulations, you’ve survived the newborn phase!

Around 6 months is truly one of the best baby phases. They are still babies, but smiling all the time. Learning to sit up and move and getting their own personality.

I hug my baby every day and say, “Don’t grow up… no wait you have to. But I just love you so!!”

Very nauseating around here…

Anyway, here’s the 6 to 9 month routine I recommend (as a certified baby and toddler sleep consultant and mama of 5) for 6 month old babies.

6 month routine cards for babies — *(These routine cards are a great way for you to remember the routine and to eventually help your toddler follow their own.)*

Read: Baby Fighting Diaper Changes? These Hacks Stop The Madness

A 6 to 9 Month Sample Routine:

Note: These are the times to aim for. If they don’t happen because baby is hungry earlier, then adapt and try to get back to this when able.

7:30 am – wake up, feed, solids for breakfast
8:15 am – play (floor time on a play or development mat, sibling play)
9:00 am – down for nap
11:00 am – wake up, feed, solids
11:45 am – free play (floor time, practicing sitting or standing, sibling plan)
12:30 pm – down for nap
2:30 pm – wake up, feed, solids
3:14 pm – free play (floor time, sibling play)
4:30 pm – down for nap
6:00 pm – wake up, feed, bedtime snack
6:45 pm – bedtime routine (bath, singing, cuddling, putting on lotion, etc.) We use this for the kitchen sink and absolutely love it.
7:30 pm – quick feed, bedtime (some cluster feeding here too)
10:00 pm – dream feed right before you go to bed

Some Thoughts on the 6-9 Month Age

Routine or Rhythm?

Research overwhelmingly supports a good routine for young ones. A routine does not, however, necessarily mean you follow the clock per se.

If you prefer to have a rhythm where you do one thing after the other, but not necessarily watch the times and that’s fine. Pick whichever works best. And either way, you’ll have to be mindful of wake windows. Read on the wake windows vs nap schedule thoughts here.

Babies can’t be up for 3 or 4 hours at a time at this age without getting really cranky.

At any rate, using a routine will be a sanity saver for both you and your baby. Here are some sample routines with different times that also have baby/toddler combinations.

Read These While You’re At It

Wake Windows vs. Nap Schedules: Pros, Cons & How to Choose

12 Medical Reasons Your Baby’s Not Sleeping (With Symptoms Of Each)

How To Stop Contact Naps (Peacefully) – And What To Do Instead

7 Reasons Your Baby Still Wakes Up At Night – And What To Do

Bossy Baby? Being Responsive Without Creating A Tyrant Toddler!

Read: A 7 Month Old Feeding Schedule That Works Like A Charm

Eating & nutrition is very important

Whether you waited until the 6 month mark to introduce solids, or started in the 5th month gradually, solids are very important.

At 6 months of age if your baby has trouble napping… they are likely hungry. If your baby starts waking up frequently at night, check the amount of solids.

Family Practices & Contribution

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Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

Start Now

Getting Ready to Drop a Nap

Right now your baby likely takes 3 naps a day, the third perhaps being the shortest.

The goal is to shorten the third nap so the first two naps of the day remain until around 15-18 months.
If you notice your baby naps shorter during the first or second nap, but longer on the third, you can wake the baby early in the third nap.
Too long of an evening nap may mean getting to sleep at bedtime is harder, so best to shorten the nap that will drop soon.

Read: When Babies Go To One Nap (A Step-By-Step Guide)

Bath Time

I waver between giving the baby a bath in the morning or in the evening. Some days it’s the morning, some days it’s the evening. I try to just fit it in when I can or when it’s most convenient.

Read These While You’re At It

12 Ways to Enjoy Your Baby Right Now

8 Useful Ways to Use the Pack And Play (They Might Surprise You!)

Anxiety, Sadness, Crawling Out Of Skin, etc. When Nursing – How to Cope

Growth Spurt

A growth spurt often happens at this age so make sure the baby is getting enough milk. I’ll often feed, give solids, let the baby play, feed again briefly before putting him in the crib (awake but drowsy).

This is called a split feed.

This helps make sure they’re getting enough to eat during the day.

Floor Time

While an infant seat is a minimalist must have, in my opinion, I like to give my babies any and every opportunity to be on the floor. They’ll roll, sit up, commando crawl, and start spinning in circles.

Tummy time is, by now, a daily staple, but make sure and give baby a lot of opportunities to play on the ground safely.

Read These While You’re At It

Bath Time: Avoiding Battles And Messes – Plus Awesome Bath Toys

The Low Down On Tummy Time: When, Where, Why & How

12 Ways to Enjoy Your Baby Right Now

8 Reasons You’ve Got A Whiny Baby (And How To Fix It!)

Common issues that happen to babies 6 months of age

While we’re here, let’s dive into some common things 6 month olds, 7 month olds, 8 month olds, and 9 month old babies experience. You’ll be prepared, mama.

Teething can disrupt sleep for 6 to 9-month-old babies

Now, I will say something that may be hard to hear. But I’m a certified sleep consultant so please believe me.

If you have a baby who sleeps well, you’ll notice some sleep issues when teeth are about to erupt.
But if your baby hasn’t ever really slept well, it’s definitely not because of teething.

Babies teethe for months… years. So there’s no reason to expect that babies won’t sleep simply because they’re teething. If you can tell the tooth is about to erupt, offer comfort and pain management that fits your values.

But know that teething doesn’t sentence you to months of sleep deprivation.

Babies can resist solid foods around 6 or 7 months

Often, at the 5 month mark, moms start seeing sleep disruptions. The 5 month old sleep schedule mentions this. Babies are gearing up to start eating more solid foods and wean, so if they don’t get more nutrition they become more hungry.

Introduce foods as soon as you feel ready (okay’d, of course, by your doc). Keep offering, don’t force-feed obviously, but baby needs that nourishment now.
Get in some yogurt, avocado, or banana, etc. Something that will stick in the tummy and help prevent early morning waking or frequent night waking from hunger.
You may end up seeing baby wake up MORE in the night than before and truly want a feed. Of course, feed baby, but try to work in more daytime feeds vs. nighttime ones.
Take heart, baby won’t resist foods forever.

Sleep disruptions – 6 months is a perfect time to sleep train

Remember, sleep training simply means helping baby learn to sleep well. Creating healthy sleep habits. That’s it. If you’ve got negative connotations about it or feel some feelings on the subject, journal it out.

Don’t let your opinions about how other moms deal with their babies keep your 6 to 9 month old in bad sleep habits.

6 months is a perfect time to sleep train because baby is in more mature sleep cycles.
6 month old babies are not mobile enough to try and escape sleep initiatives.
The personality and strong will resistance can really come into play during sleep training by the 9 month mark and onwards. It’s never too late to start healthy sleep habits, but the longer you wait the more attitude and protest you’ll have to deal with.

Rolling and getting stuck, oh my!

Has your 6 month old kept themselves up when they should be napping by rolling around in their crib like a rock down a grassy hill?

Oh yes!

Developmentally babies at this 6 to 9 month mark are changing and growing so much. Also, swaddle weaning has typically happened by now. So babies are checking out life! Don’t change your baby’s daily routine to account for this, just let them practice.

Babies can get a lot of tummy time and exercise between naps that will help them feel rested and ready for sleep.

Nap routines for 6 months olds

Follow the routine given above, with whatever mild tweaks you need to make, but take note: nap routines are key.

6 months may honestly be the best time to sleep train, if baby is having sleep issues, but it’s the perfect age to start creating more predictable naps as well. Daytime naps are still a must at this age and it can be more difficult to get baby to sleep.

Follow baby’s sleep cues, but put baby down for nap even if the cues aren’t present to avoid overtiredness.
Give baby age-appropriate playtime so baby is tired for naps. That includes tummy time and doesn’t include screen time.
Around this age you may start adjusting baby’s routine to drop a nap, go gradual.

Mom self-care at the 6-month mark

At this point you may be feeling nearly back to normal. If baby isn’t sleeping you won’t be, but if baby is napping and sleeping through the night you may even feel more “you.”

Get as much sleep as you can (naps count!).
Stay in touch with your needs so you know what to do.
Avoid “gentle asks” (aka hints) because you don’t want to drop clues, you want to ask directly for what you want.
Give yourself some screen time limits and boundaries so you don’t throw your self-care time into a black hole.

Enjoy this time with your 6 to 9 month old baby, mama.

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In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

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The Key to a Good 6 to 9 Month Routine:

This may be so simple it goes without saying… but the key to a good routine is keeping the routine. It can be tricky to remember everything in order when you’re beginning, but once you get the hang of it, routine will be second nature.

It can seem very difficult to get started doing or keeping a routine when you do not have one at all.

Here are 3 ways you can learn to keep your routine:

1) Hang it Up

In my Rhythms, Routines, and Schedules ebook I have 25+ sample routine printables from babies age 6 weeks to 5 years. You can take these printables and hang them in your nursery, on the fridge, or keep them in your planner.

Whatever works.

You can hang the routine cards as well and pretty soon you won’t need to reference anything, it’ll be second nature.

2) Set Alarms or Notifications

While you don’t need to live and die by the clock, setting your phone, watch, or a timer will help you keep aware of routine transitions.

We can often get so wrapped up in what we’re doing we forget we’ve let the baby sleep 4 hours. Why is that bad? Because 4 hours is a stretch littles ones should only sleep at night!

I set alarms on my phone that show on my watch and this works for us.

3) Practice and Keep at It

As with anything, if you want something to work then work it. Keep pushing what you’ve decided to do. If it doesn’t work then change it up a bit and keep going. Move forward.

I assure you 100% that a routine will work if you keep at it.

Want visual routines to hang up?

If you want routines and schedules for not only the 6 to 9 month age, but for the 12 month, 18 month, and on I’ve got great news. I’ve created a book chock full of routines that work.

Routines that keep babies well rested, happy, and content. Routines that account for all the things you need to do and they are mom tested. The best part?

The book comes with printable routines (3 choices for each age) that you can hang up and use!

So instead of having to reinvent the wheel every few months, you’ll have tried and true mom tested routines right at your fingertips.

Get your own Routine Book and Printables Here!

What are 6 month wake windows?

2.5 to 4 hours is the general window. If baby is taking 3 naps still, it can be 2.5 hours more or less during the day, and the longest span (from the last nap before bed) shouldn’t be more than 4 hours.

So, if baby wakes at 7 am, then by 9:30 am have a nap. Baby sleeps until 11 am, then by 1:30 pm is another nap. Baby wakes up around 3 pm, then bedtime no later than 7 pm.

Is 6 months a good time to sleep train?

6 months is actually the perfect time to formally sleep train. I have a whole post on why it’s the best age.

They’re not newborns anymore, they can go longer between naps, they are a little more aware and they catch on much more quickly than at a later age. It’s too early for extreme resistance that can accompany toddler years, and baby can’t walk yet.

When you wait to do formal training when a child is in a bed and can stand up and get out, there are a lot more variables.

Can 6 month olds sleep through the night?

Absolutely. Sleeping through the night is typically defined as 7 to 8 hours at a time. So even if your child still has a dream feed, but sleeps from 10 pm all the way until morning, then that still technically counts as sleeping through.

You can wean night feeds or combine them at this age without much trouble.

Sources:

The Dream Feed: The Why, The How, & When To Stop

Wondering how to do a dream feed? This post will tell you exactly when to do dreamfeeds, how to make sure baby stays awake, and when to wean them.

Oh these little squishy babies…

I remember the first time I heard about a dream feed with my firstborn.

What is it?

Why do you do it?

Who came up with these names for things?

Why, oh why do a dream feed?

I read around and then tried to implement it with my baby girl. It took a while, but eventually we got the hang of it and Oh My Goodness… game changer.

Now, as a certified baby and toddler sleep consultant… it’s a go to sleep and feed strategy.

If you don’t currently do the dream feed then this post will help you for a few reasons.

And if you’re serious about making a few nightly changes, I suggest using a baby log to help clear our head and get it on paper.

Read: 7 Simple Reasons Why Your Baby Won’t Nap & What To Do

What is a dream feed, anyway?

A dream feed is a feeding you do in the late evening hours before you go to bed. You’ll usually have to rouse baby for this feed.

Or rather, baby will be sound asleep typically and you will feed baby while they’re still mostly asleep. Hence the name: dream feed.

I’ll get into the details… keep reading.

Read: End Your Baby’s Fussy Evening Hours (Witching Hours) In A Few Steps

Why do you do it?

First, let’s tackle why we want to do a dream feed in the first place. Here are the two main reasons dream feeds are a good idea.

Necessary? Of course not! Helpful? Absolutely!

You get a longer stretch of sleep each night | By feeding baby in the later evening, before midnight, you’ll hopefully get yourself a longer stretch of sleep. Sleep is very important to moms for sanity (lack of sleep is literally like torture), healing, and to help you get back to your normal self in the postpartum fog.

Baby will eventually sleep from after the feed then sleep until your desired wake time | It’s hard for a baby to sleep from 7 pm to 7 am. When baby is old enough, adding in a dream feed can get baby to sleep from the dream feed until your desired wake time.

Read: Baby Bedtime — 4 Essential Elements To All Evening Routines

The Why, The How, & When To Stop The Dream Feed

So let’s dive into it. By the end of this post I hope you’ll have all you need to know about the dream feed and why its so useful.

Read: Simple Baby Advice That Stands The Test Of Time

mother breastfeeding baby for a dream feed

When to offer this sleep-inducing feed

Ideally, you want to dream feed right before you go to sleep, but usually no later than 11:30 or else it is simply a night feed.

Somewhat, the time you feed depends on what time you go to bed.

You want to feed baby right before you go down to sleep. So if you go to bed around 10:00 then feed baby at that time, then lie down to sleep.

Feed baby while keeping him swaddled (how to do that here) and not fully rousing him, then baby will sort of feed in his sleep and “top up” his tummy.

Doing a dream feed between 10:00 and 11:30 is usually a safe bet, but any later than that becomes a night feed.

Read: The Ultimate Sleep Schedule For Newborns For The First 6 Weeks

Family Practices & Contribution

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Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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How To Dream Feed When Baby Is Drowsy

Those first early hours after you’ve put baby to bed are often baby’s deepest sleep. The sleep from bedtime to midnight is the deepest most restorative sleep, so babies are usually conked out at this time.

This means it can be tricky to rouse baby enough to get them to feed.

That’s okay.

We don’t want to force it when it isn’t working.

However, often you’ll be able to rouse baby enough to take a feed, even half a feed, and this can help them sleep longer at night.

For those first few weeks, there’s really no need for this feed.

Try these things to wake baby up a bit

When baby is drowsy, here are some ways to rouse him enough to give him the feed.

Unswaddle from the bottom to change his diaper.
Rub a wet wipe or cloth across his cheek.
Tickle the bottom of his feet or cheek.
Put some milk on his lips.

If these don’t work, then put baby gently back down. Then, if you’re still up half an hour later then you can try again briefly. If it still doesn’t work, go to bed.

Keep trying nightly until baby is used to taking this feed. This helps push the next feed off until later after midnight and gives you a few uninterrupted hours of sleep which is good for mama.

Read: Want A Content & Happy Little One? Use The Foolproof Baby Schedule

Does Dream Feeding Always Work?

Now, I’m a big believer in the dream feed. I know – having had 5 babies – it’s the reason they routinely slept until at least 7 a.m., if not on closer to 8, even as tiny babies.

They were given milk at the dream feed which enabled them to sleep later in the morning.

Next – when they were ready – I dropped the dream feed and they slept all night!

That said, sometimes they can be a bit tricky. Sometimes the dream feed timing is tricky and other ties it just wakes babies up. When you wake your baby for a dream feed at 11:00 pm and baby wakes at 12:30 am for another feed, mom might be resistant to that.

If you find a dream feed wakes your baby up right after midnight, drop it and see what happens.

It might work out better for baby to simply go to bed at night, sleep a long stretch, and then wake up for that 12:30 am feed. This will mean baby sleeps a long restorative stretch.

You can, with time, add in that dream feed if you want them to sleep later.

Often babies will start sleeping through the night but waking up at 4:30 or 5:00 am and not want to go back down. This is why the dream feed is so helpful. They will feed at 10:30 pm or so and then sleep until 6:30 or 7:00 am instead.

Unless you need baby up that early to leave the house, it’s a more pleasant proposition for baby to sleep later.

Read: A Quick & Easy Way To Survive The 4 Month Regression

happy smiling chubby baby holding his foot on a white bed

When to wean the dream feed – this is important!

Let’s reiterate here that if you only have one feeding per night, it’s very helpful if it’s a dream feed. It should – theoretically – be the last feed you drop.

Here’s the reasoning…

By having a dream feed you are helping baby sleep longer stretches between night feedings. Baby may need a 3:00 am feed and a 5:30 am feed then sleep on until 7 or so.

You’ll eventually drop that 3 am feed and focus on the 5:30 am one. After a while, you’ll work to drop that 5:30 am feed so they are sleeping later in the morning.

Then, they are going from the dream feed all the way until the morning time.

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How do babies end up sleeping all the way through until morning?

This feed!

If you haven’t had a dream feed and baby is under 5 months but not yet sleeping through the night, try adding it in.

See if it helps baby sleep later. I always kept the dream feed even though I dropped all the others because that extra time in the morning meant a lot to me.

Read: 7 Month Feeding Times That Work Like A Charm

Recap benefits of this feed

Helps top baby up to sleep a longer stretch.
Allows mom to feed right before she lies down so mom has a longer sleep stretch.
Hopefully gets baby to at least 2am before needing another feed.

Some moms even wake their babies up completely at this 10pm feed, give a proper feed, a quick little play, then back down to bed by 11pm. I’d never suggest this initially, but sometimes when babies simply will not stay asleep, it can help build up the sleep pressure.

FAQ

When do you stop dream feeding?

The dream feed is the last feed that you drop. You usually drop the dream feed when baby sleeps from bedtime until their morning wake time with only the dream feed. This should be dropped by 6 months.

What if a dream feed doesn’t work?

After 6 months dream feeds can trigger more wakings. By 6 months if baby is doing a feed at 10:30 p.m. then waking again at 1 a.m., it could be that the dream feed isn’t working anymore.

Is the dream feed a full feed?

Yes, try and give baby a full feed which should last them a few hours before the next waking.

Should I introduce the dream feed?

If you have a newborn who wakes frequently, introducing the dream feed may get you a longer stretch of sleep. Try it out for a few days if it triggers more after midnight wakings, just drop it.

Do you burp after the feed?

If you can easily burp baby without waking him, yes. If not, rub baby’s back on the left side (stomach side) and up the back to get out any air bubbles and simply put baby back down to bed.

Should I keep baby upright after a dream feed?

Dream feeds should happen while baby is sleeping. If baby will wake up if you put him upright, don’t do it. You can feed enough to satisfy baby and get a good long stretch of sleep without going through great lengths to burp.

Do you change baby’s diaper at the dream feed?

Unless baby is leaking, changing the diaper isn’t needed. If baby isn’t unhappy, don’t wake them to change a diaper. If you feel you need to, however, change the diaper before feeding so baby will remain asleep for the feed then be put straight back to bed.

Can I dream feed at 9pm?

The best time to do a dream feed is between 10 and 11. Much after that is a night feed and much before that is just a regular evening feed.

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How to Fix Your Newborn’s Day and Night Confusion in 3 Nights or Less

Does your newborn have days and nights mixed up? Here’s how to fix day night confusion in only a few days. This can look like the longest stretch of sleep is during the day, not night, or that baby feeds every 3 or 4 hours in the day, but every 1 or 2 hours at night. Here are tips to address sleep reversal. You and your baby will thank us!

I’ve had 5 babies and to some extent, they all had day-night confusion.

With all 5, within 5 nights postpartum (not counting the two in the hospital) we had it all sorted out.

Days and nights in order.

Sleeping through nightly feeds and not waking.

Allowing me to have restorative – though broken – sleep.

You can do it. It’s not rocket science and it’s quite simple.

Be encouraged… your days of Vampire Hours (and witching hours) are nearly over!

How to Fix Day-Night Confusion Quickly

Sleep reversal is par for the course in the early days. Again, it’s perfectly normal for babies to wake at night to feed, but you can have babies who wake only to feed and essentially sleep through the feed.

I know. I’ve had 5 babies do it and you can too. You may want to use our daily baby logs to help you keep it all straight.

Read: Tips For Swaddling Baby At Night

Read: Is Sleep Training a Baby Bad or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

Lights on During Day, Off at Night

Day-night reversal requires a bit of specific effort.

When you’re feeding during the day, keep the lights on or curtains open. This helps communicate “daytime” to baby. As you approach naptime with baby, dim the lights and close blackout curtains, but help baby associate day with light.

When you’re feeding, changing, or situating at night keep lights off.

This means don’t turn on a lamp. It definitely means no overhead lights.

Get out your flashlight or a flashlight app on your phone. Seem drastic? Well… not as drastic as being up for 3 hours for the next month because baby’s day night confusion doesn’t end.

Family Practices & Contribution

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Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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Feed Unswaddled During Day, Swaddled at Night

As I talked about in my post on 11 things you can do now to have a baby who sleeps well for the long run, feeding swaddled at night is key.

If your baby associates swaddle with sleep, you want them to stay in sleepy mode for nighttime feeds.

During the day take off the swaddle so they can feed awake. Or at least more awake. I’ll even strip baby down to diaper if he is nodding off every few minutes and that works a charm.

Being “free” is associated with daytime and being “snuggled” is associated with sleep. This helps the sleep wake inversion reverse itself.

Related Reads:

Feed, Play, Sleep During Day

The best way to establish day night rituals is to be consistent. During the day you’ll want to make sure your baby is awake to feed, then purposefully try to avoid fully feeding them to sleep.

This is a major sleep prop and you may find in a few months baby will only sleep this way.

Work it while it works, but know it’ll be a tough transition for baby (and you as a result).

So a newborn is barely awake at all, let’s be honest, but you can open windows, sing, change diaper, feed unswaddled, and then as you are going to put your baby to sleep swaddle again.

You can even feed a bit more to get baby drowsy, then put the baby in his crib (or wherever he sleeps) while still at least partially wake. They’ll learn to go to sleep on their own this way.

Read: Sleep Props and Sleep Associations

Change Before Feeding at Night

When your baby wakes to feed at night, change his diaper before feeding. This does a few things.

It gets the disturbing “wake baby up” activity out of the way and it actually helps rouse them enough to take a good full feed.

If they are too drowsy they’ll just drink for 3 minutes then nod off. This is what causes them to wake hourly instead of 2 or 3 hours apart.

Change, re-swaddle then feed and put back down.

Read: Swaddling Tips That Help Babies Sleep Well Without Startle Reflexes

Stimulation During Day, No Stimulation at Night

This is a big one.

Daytime is for play.

Nighttime is for sleep.

Don’t treat days like nights, afraid to wake the baby up. If it’s naptime, protect the nap. If you are feeding or playing with the baby then it’s okay for some stimulation.

However, at night, keep lights out, voices low, and all forms of Wakey Baby off.

This can be hard since babies are so gooey and sweet, but it’s what makes the difference in the long run.

So there you have it. Baby sleep is not rocket science, but there is an art to it.

Read: The Dreamfeed: The Why, The How, & When To Stop

Sleep Associations

If you have an infant with nighttime restlessness who you think has day-night confusion, it’s important to focus on sleep associations.

Create good wind-down routines.
Make sure baby’s sleep space is conducive to good sleep (yes, newborns can sleep anywhere, but if they’re struggling to sleep you may as well create a positive sleep environment).
Make positive associations between baby and sleep. Singing, cuddling, etc.

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Newborn Soothing Techniques

It’s imperative you know how to settle your newborn. Newborns will cry for a variety of reasons – day-night sleep inversion being just one of them.

Moms who can only settle their newborn with feeding end up having to feed every single time they think baby is unhappy.

We want to settle baby and comfort them based on what they need. Tired babies are comforted by getting sleep. Hungry babies are comforted by milk.

Maternal touch and affection can go a long way without having to pull up your shirt every 10 seconds throwing spaghetti at the wall, trying to get baby to settle.

Newborns need this

Babies go to sleep better and sleep longer when they are calm, settled, and in a good routine.

It doesn’t have to be a huge thing with church bells and four part harmony, but the more you are able to protect your baby’s sleep, create a good wind-down routine, and make it a regular part of your evening, the better your whole family will sleep.

Read: Cocooning a Newborn & 7 Reasons Why it Can Be Good For The Family

To recap, to help your babies sleep better at night you want to:

Prevent them from getting overtired

Choose an appropriate bedtime

Give your baby a calming bath or wipe down

Before putting on a clean diaper and swaddle, give your baby a rubdown or massage with nice calming lotions

Have some quiet quality time to help get your baby very drowsy before putting him into the crib.

If you would like to create a simple and easy wind down routine that anyone putting baby down can follow plus some BONUS baby sleep troubleshooting checklists, click here and get instant access.

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End Baby’s Witching Hours — In 4 Simple Steps

The witching hours are so difficult! Here’s why it happens and how to get past it without losing your marbles.

I remember when my second child was just a few weeks old.

Things had been going well… it wasn’t my first rodeo… I thought I was completely prepared.

Then the witching hours started…

It actually took me a few weeks of off and on craziness before I even realized what they were. I was trying this and that and freaking out and imagining he’d cry for hours until he was 3 and let’s just say…

I was wiped out and desperate.

Then one evening I Googled exactly what was happening and – lo and behold – this evening fussiness had a name.

It’s name was The Witching Hour. Or… if it persisted for quite a while… The Witching Hours.

Read: 8 Reasons You’ve Got A Whiny Baby (And How To Fix It!)

The Witching Hour Baby — How To Deal

So let’s dive right in since you are tired and likely holding a baby during the witching hours right now. Am I right?

This is a great time to break out your daily baby log and start getting a handle on what’s happening.

Oh but first… here are some signs your baby is having witching hours:

A normally content baby seems to cry and cry for no discernible reason, usually in the early evening to late evening.

A few nights a week, baby will find it hard to settle to bed and will cry for a few hours, usually in the 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. time window.

Nothing that will normally settle baby (feeding, rocking, in a swing, etc.) seems to have any affect.

Baby will cluster feed but still not really settle down.

Is that your witching hour baby?

Read on…

Step 1 – Evaluate Your Routine (it does affect witching hours)

One of the biggest potential reasons your baby has witching hours is over stimulation and over tiredness.

This means by the early evening to nighttime period baby is worn out and hyped up.

Has your baby had sufficient naps throughout the day? Here are some sample baby schedules that work and help reduce fussiness.

Make sure baby is not overtired because overtired babies have a very difficult time settling down.

If they don’t nap well throughout the day then, by early evening, they are well and truly worn out.

Read: How to Stop Contact Naps (Peacefully)- and What to Do Instead

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Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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This means the standard methods to settle just don’t seem to work.

Morning naps are the most important of the day, get that one right.

Figure out your baby’s awake window, meaning the time they are able to stay awake after they begin feeding until they become overtired (they start crying, whining or fussing). Then, always put then down to nap throughout the day within this window.

Don’t keep them up just to make them sleep better at night. That is a LIE and does not work with basically all babies. Babies who are over tired do not go to sleep or stay asleep well. They just don’t. And if they do conk out quickly, they usually wake up inconsolable soon after.

Read: The Baby Sleeping Myth That Backfires Every Time

Step 2 – Cluster Feed During The Witching Hours

Babies also get into witching hours because your milk supply is low. The wear and tear of the day and stress of having a newborn can catch up with a mama’s milk by late afternoon early evening.

This can mean baby is feeding for the same amount of time, but not actually getting the calorie rich hind milk.

So the answer?

Clusterfeed.

Instead of feeling like you’re breaking your newborn routine, add some cluster feeds into the routine.

Here’s what a cluster feed looks like with a little one.

Read: 7 Simple Reasons Why Your Baby Won’t Nap & What To Do

3:30 pm – Feed baby

4:30 pm – Nap

5:30 pm – Feed baby

7:30 pm – Feed baby and put to bed

9:30 pm – Feed baby while still sleeping

11:30 pm – Feed baby (called a dream feed) then put back to bed

Of course, this is just an example.

But if the reason for the witching hours is low milk supply, doing this type of routine for a few days will increase your supply and help baby to settle.

Within a few days you’ll know if hunger was the culprit.

Read: Cocooning a Newborn & 7 Reasons Why it Can Be Good For The Family

Read These While You’re At It

Cluster Feeding Newborns: Do’s & Dont’s (& How To Do It Right)

quick and easy sleep tips to help your newborn sleep well for the long run

How To Get Your Newborn To Sleep Well From Day One

clusterfeeding a newborn, clusterfeed newborn baby

The Dream Feed: The Why, The How, & When To Stop

Step 3 – Note Fussiness Patterns

Witching hours are mysterious.

Sometimes, the truth is, you try All The Things and nothing works.

These are true witching hours.

This means it’s something similar to colic (or baby reflux). It comes out of nowhere, makes you fear you’ll never survive the newborn period, then goes away just as quickly.

So observe baby and answer this…

Is baby mostly content all the time and well rested but then – in the evening hours – cries inconsolably?

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If your answer is yes then you’ve got a case of the Witching Hours on your hands.

Alternatively, if your baby is fussy a lot during the day and struggles sleeping at both naps, evening time, and throughout the night, then it’s probably not witching hours.

It’s probably something routine, sleep, or discomfort related.

Read: Baby Bedtime: 4 Essential Elements To Success

Step 4 – Comfort Baby Through The Tough Witching Hours

So let’s recap…

If baby is fussy all day and doesn’t sleep well… focus on baby’s routine.
Next, if baby is pretty calm all day and rests well, but gets irritable and fussy in the late afternoon, early evening… first try cluster feeding.
Or, if baby is pretty calm except during witching hours and cluster feeding doesn’t seem to help… you’ve got Witching Hours on your hands and you just gotta get through it.

You love baby. And, of course, it hurts to see baby upset.

It also hurts your nervous system to have an upset baby that won’t settle.

It feels lose lose.

But you can be there for baby, comfort baby, and practice honing in your parenting intuition skills as you progress through the witching hours.

Remember, they will NOT last forever and will probably be well and truly gone by the 3 month mark give or take.

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Get a stuffed animal pacifier (shown below). If your baby will take it, that’ll help.

Carry, wear, or sit with baby if you can. If you have other little ones and aren’t able, let your spouse have a go. He’s not doing you a favor watching the kids, after all.

Use a swing. I do not recommend putting baby to sleep every nap with a swing as this is a big sleep prop, but during witching hours, anything that comforts baby goes.

If this is your only baby or you don’t have any in school, use this as time for an evening stroll. Baby may calm down to the rhythm of the stroller or carrier and fresh air often helped my kids when they were feeling fussy.

To Wrap It Up… How To Help Your Tired Baby

I want you to take this to heart: you comforting, trying to soothe, and being there for your baby is just the thing that good mothers do.

Right now and as they age, you won’t be able to always do the exact thing that makes them perfectly happy at all times.

Even if you always knew what that thing was – which you won’t – that isn’t an expectation you can set for yourself.

You do the things I’ve shared in this post and you’ll cut the number of witching hours down to a minimum.

Also, you’ll set yourself up to have a baby who sleeps well.

You cannot underestimate the positive effects of a baby who sleeps well in a home.

Read: The Nap Trap- How to Deal with It and Not Resist It

Basic baby sleep tips for sleep deprived mamas…

Follow the eat, play, sleep rhythm. This means you feed baby, let them stay awake a bit, then put them down. This helps them learn to sleep on their own which saves baby (and you) hours of tears and exhaustion.
Set this morning habit and do it daily. It’s the easiest way to get babies to sleep later.
Have a good baby bedtime routine.
Make the nap and bedtime routines full of positive sleep associations, not sleep props.
Don’t fall for the biggest baby sleep myth of all.

You can do this, mama!

Can newborns have witching hours?

The answer is yes. In fact, it’s usually in this newborn period up until about 3 months of age that babies have the witching hours. After that, it levels off.

When do witching hours end?

They usually end around the 3 month mark, but might end sooner. Babies will really have a lot of crying in the evenings if they are hungry or if you don’t quite have enough milk.

Can a low milk supply cause witching hours?

It can cause fussiness and irritability, yes. However, if baby is fine some evenings and appears full and content, then a few evenings a week seems to be going through fussiness, then it’s likely NOT hunger, but the vaguely mysterious witching hours.

How do I comfort a baby during the witching hours?

You bring comfort to baby any way you know how. Cuddling, carrying baby, putting baby in an infant seat, offering the pacifier and, basically, waiting baby out.

Why do babies have witching hours?

While there isn’t one specific answer to this question and it can vary from baby to baby, there are some developmental strides taking place that could lead to witching hours. Some possible causes include: overstimulation, fatigue, digestive immaturity leading to evening discomfort, circadian rhythm development as they develop their internal body clock among others.

How can parents cope with the stress of witching hours?

Know that this too shall pass. Take shifts with your spouse to care for the baby during witching hours, delegate tasks to family and friends to lessen your burden, create a soothing environment for you and baby, express your emotions, and practice self-care to help rejuvenate your spirit.

Sources:

Why Having Babies Close Together Is Not As Hard As You Think

Everyone always thinks I’m nuts when I tell them I have babies close together. I promise it’s not as hard as you think! There are pros and cons to having babies close together, but it’s not so bad.

My oldest two children are 13 months apart, 12 months and 3 weeks, really.

Just shy of being technical Irish twins.

My second born and third born are 15 months apart.

My third born and fourth born are 16 months apart.

So that’s 4 babies in 4 years. And, surprise!!!!, I’m pregnant again.

So, in 5 years I gave birth to 5 children.

“Babies close together?”

“Are you nuts?”

“Have you lost your mind?”

“You do, um, know how babies are made, don’t you?”

These are how people generally react when they find out how close my children are in age. Most people can’t imagine what would possess a woman to do such a thing.

I just smile and say, “Really, it’s not as hard as you think.” And I mean it. And it’s not because I’m super mom, it’s because of the way we organize and run our home.

It isn’t always pretty.

Things are definitely not always together.

Sometimes I’m tired.

Sometimes I’m angry.

I’m often overwhelmed.

But it’s worth every minute and not as bad as you might think. Here’s why.

Routine Brings Peace

I followed a routine as best as I could, and very early on my daughter was napping well and sleeping through the night.

And this includes overseas trips and a complete migration to another continent.

I was so overjoyed with being a mother and having a sweet baby that we didn’t feel compelled to wait to keep adding to the brood.

In fact, I have been able to get the kids to “Buy Into Their Routine” and that means they sort of follow the routine on auto-pilot.

Of course, there are various things that can make infancy difficult – colic, food allergies, illness, etc. – but barring those medical complications, a good routine takes out so much guesswork and complication.

With each new addition there have been adjustments made, but on the whole, our home is one of peace. Well, as peaceful as it can be with tiny tots.

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Sticky Routines System

Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

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There is a Semblance of Structure

With regular nap times, Independent play, and the Benefits of Routine I felt a confidence and security knowing I had a “strategy” to fall back on.

My kids All Take a Nap at the Same Time Every Afternoon.

They do Independent Play in their rooms at the same time and go to bed around the same time.

Having a predictable daily routine helps make having four children so close together possible. In fact, it even makes babies close together highly enjoyable.

You can even use visual cues to help your toddlers follow their own routines. My daughter and oldest son enjoy using These Cards to know what to do when.

You print them, cut them out, hang them up, and voila!

Younger toddlers won’t be able to follow it without supervision, but older ones certainly can and enjoy the independence of doing so.

Note: Here’s the Best Double Stroller for Kids close in age.

I Worked on Their (and My) Sleep

With my four children, at least 2.5 hours each day (not including all night) they’re all asleep (or resting) at the same time.

From approximately 1 pm to 3:30 pm they are all in their cribs or beds. And they all go to bed between 7:30-8:00 pm.

This is absolutely not bragging and it’s not because my kids are exceptional – except of course they are exceptional – it is because Healthy Sleep Habits are Not a Mystery, even though it may seem so right now.

By helping to instill good sleep habits, you raise babies and toddlers who like sleep. This means they’ll go to bed most days without a fuss.

Not all the time, mind you, but it’s much easier. I also focus on Getting Tons of Rest and taking power naps. A must in my book.

Read: 10 Reasons Your Baby Can’t Sleep

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Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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I Gave Myself Breathing Room

I need Regular Alone Time to put my best foot forward. And considering I work from home for a few hours daily, the space that independent play and regular napping give is a godsend.

Each morning the kids play independently and in the afternoon they rest. At night, they are in bed at a reasonable time and that gives me hours a day to Recharge and Refresh.

I am a firm believer that every mother should parent based on their own strengths and beliefs, within healthy boundaries of course, but I don’t know how a mother of children aged very close together could cope without consistent routine.

Without it life is chaos.

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four children close in age sitting by a lake

Regular Connection and Discipline Raise Pleasant Children

Now, children are children and we are all born with “my, me, mine” tendencies.

My pastor used to say if you don’t think humans are born into sin then you’ve never had kids. On the whole, my children are sweet, cooperative, grateful, and well-behaved.

Just yesterday we were at the car dealership for over an hour and they commented on how well-behaved and calm our children were.

Of course, shortly after this they started playing with an oily chain outside and started trying to climb up the show cars, but hey, Toddlers Can Only Sit Still for So long, right?

My parenting philosophy is to discipline in a way that helps children learn to trust their parents and draw security from this.

Meet Necessary Needs First

Food, sleep, other needs are met in a timely fashion before circumstances become dire.

Children are taught what is expected of them, shown plenty of positive love and affirmation, and given consequences when needed.

When Having Children Close Together in Age, it’s important they are obedient to your word and follow instructions well.

This will not be 100% and sometimes you’ll have children running away from you screaming “don’t get me” and The Neighbors Will Start to Get Suspicious. But that won’t be the norm.

Some days my husband and I wonder what on earth we got ourselves into!

There is squealing, tattling, spilling, back talk and tears. From the kids and the parents.

It’s loud, relentless, and all-consuming.

But it’s also amazing. And really, it’s not so bad…

How can we meet each child’s unique needs with multiple littles?

Honestly, you just figure it out. Trial and error. Some things to prioritize in the home to meet your kids’ individual needs could be: quality one-on-one time with each child, intentionally building sibling bonds, celebrate individuality, customize connection and discipline to the needs of each child, and having quality family time.

Will our children miss out on individual attention and experiences if we have kids close in age?

Let’s take a look at what children gain from having siblings close in age to them. In my experience, love is multiplied with each child, not divided.

Close bond: children close in age often share experiences, creating a unique bond. Their camaraderie can lead to treasured memories and a built-in playmate.
Collective learning: Group adventures can foster collaboration and enhance their social skills as they navigate experiences together.
Joint milestones: Celebrating milestones together can amplify the joy. Shared birthdays and firsts create a sense of togetherness.

Breastfeeding Schedule By Month — Birth to 1 Year Of Age!

Here are is an exhaustive list of a breastfeeding schedules by month. It goes from a newborn to 1 year of age and these feeding routines work!

Welcome, nursing mama!

Having a baby is one of the absolute best things that could ever happen to you, right?

It’s also one of the most confusing and sleep depriving things that you’ll go through.

Why is baby crying?

Does baby want to eat?

Is baby over tired?

And it’s called routine.

Well, that’s the issue. It’s hard to know.

But, there is one thing that makes it easier to understand all of baby’s cues. And one way to meet baby’s needs before baby has to cry to communicate…

If you’d like to get yourself and baby on a better routine, then these breastfeeding schedules by month will help.

You can nurse on a schedule.

You can put baby on a sleep schedule as well, and these things will help.

Here are your breastfeeding schedules for every month in the first year of life

These monthly breastfeeding schedules are intended to be a helpful starting place. If your baby’s sleep needs mean she needs more or less sleep, you can adjust accordingly.

I had 5 babies in 5 years (yes, that’s right, I’m insane!)

And, because I’m insane and have “walked through fire” as my grandmother would say, I can tell you that these routines work and they work well.

If you are starting to keep track of all this, I recommend using our daily baby and mom logs to help you get thoughts out of your head, onto paper.

➡️ Of course, make sure and follow the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations and be sure to reach out to a lactation consultant if baby has any trouble latching.

This post is not trying to convince you not to feed on demand, but rather if you are planning to breastfeed your baby, giving you tips on how to do that.

If you want all these schedules in printable form, grab all 25+ baby feeding and sleeping routines right here.

Month 1 – Focusing On Full Feeds

The best thing you can do from the very beginning – I’m talking while still in the hospital – is to give baby full feeds.

If you don’t, you’ll probably end up with a baby who wants to snack every hour. You’ll be like a mombie who hasn’t bathed in 3 weeks and only wears yoga pants because she can’t fit into her normal clothes yet, duh.

Because if you are sitting down feeding baby every hour then within a few weeks you are going to become a depressed mom.

Watch this short video to help you conquer full feeds (and avoid short ones!)

Do NOT let baby feed for a few minutes then nap, then repeat.

Instead, focus on giving baby full feeds of breast milk knowing baby needs to eat in a continuous feeding pattern to keep up your milk supply.

newborn baby with hat on sleeping on bed

?Sample 1 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

7:30-8:00 am – wake up and feed
8:30 am – down for a nap
10:30 am – feed, change diaper, play (developmental play mat here)
11:10 am – down for a nap
1:00 pm – feed, change diaper, play
1:40 pm – down for a nap
3:30 pm – feed, change diaper, play
4:10 pm – down for a nap
6:00 pm – feed, change diaper, play, bath (we use this for the sink and it is amazing)
6:30 pm – down for a catnap
7:30-8:00 pm – change diaper, put to bed for the night
8:30 pm – feed (cluster feeding every couple of hours even)
10:30-11:00 pm – dream feed swaddled, put back to bed (my favorite swaddle here)

Related Reads:

Month 2 – Working On Eat Play Sleep

Essentially, if you want your little one to sleep well without needing you to jump through hoops to get them to sleep, then, the key is to practice the eat-play-sleep habit.

So, this means you feed baby, keep them awake while feeding, let them have some awake and cuddle time with you, then you put them to sleep drowsy but awake.

This helps them learn to sleep on their own.

It seems romantic and sweet and nostalgic to rock baby to sleep for every nap, however, trust me you don’t want to go down that road.

Rocking is not bad. It simply creates a Sleep Prop Monster that you will be forced to feed for months to come.

Read: The Reason Why Frequent Night Wakings Actually Make You Crazy

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Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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baby falling asleep at the breast of his mother

?Sample 2 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

4:30 am – feed baby swaddled, back down to sleep
7:00 am – wake up, feed, play time
8:15 am – wind down routine, down for nap awake but drowsy
10:00 am – wake up, full feed un-swaddled, play/bathe/errands
12:45 pm – wind down routine, down for nap
2:45 to 3:00 pm – wake up, full feed, play/family time
4:15 pm – down for nap
5:30 pm – cluster feed, bath/family time / sit with family at dinner
6:30 pm – cat nap
7:00 pm – get baby up, wind down routine
7:30 pm – cluster feed swaddled then immediately down for nap
9:30 pm to 10:00 pm – feed again swaddled, put immediately down to sleep

Feed at night as baby wakes up.

Read: Baby bedtime habits that help make for fuss-free evenings

Month 3 – Establishing a routine

By this point, baby just isn’t as sleepy as they used to be.

They are awake more and not falling asleep at the breast every time you feed.

This is a great time to get into some sleep training with baby, one way to do that is to establish a good routine that promotes healthy sleep.

I am telling you right now, mama, that if baby hasn’t had awake time before naps or has had a lot of sleep props prior to now, they will probably start having some real baby sleep struggles.

You’ll want to deal with some of the sleep issues before baby gets much older or they’ll be likely to hit the 4 month sleep regression.

This is the month when people who were like “my baby sleeps like an angel” are now like… “my baby will not sleep unless I sit her in a sling on the washing machine during the spin cycle while there’s a quarter moon.”

Basic simple routines that help baby wind down from the stress of the day, bedtime routines, and healthy sleep habits will save the day.

Read: A 3 month old schedule that will help your baby sleep

little baby under a blanket lying with hand under face on white bedding

?Sample 3 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

5:00 am – Early morning feed, put right back down to bed
7:30 am – Wake up and feed, bathe baby
8:30 to 9:45 am – Wind down routines that help baby calm down, nap
10:30 am – Feed baby, snuggle, special tummy time mat
11:30 to 11:45 am – Wind down, nap
1:30 pm – Feed baby, go for walk, carry baby while doing chores, read to baby
2:30 to 2:45 pm – Wind down routine, nap
4:30 pm – Feed baby, put in infant seat (this is ours) or on a blanket while you cook, family time
5:30 pm – Quick nap
6:15 pm – Feed baby, play, play with siblings, play on mat, bathe if you didn’t in the morning
7:30 pm – Feed baby, bed, you can rock gently to drowsy then in the crib
10:30 pm – Dream feed, your last feed before bed (if they aren’t yet sleeping through the night)

Month 4 – Surviving The Regression

Oh deary deary me.

The 4 month can be a tough one.

Baby is awake more.

Hungry more.

Napping less.

baby sleeping on breast of mother in airplane

And you are seeing the fruits of the first few months of “routine and sleep work.” This is a common month for a baby sleep regression. And if you are here and discouraged, take heart, it’ll get better.

Along with the sleep regression, babies often go through a growth spurt around this age so both breastfed babies and formula fed babies will likely need to feed more within 24 hours.

Read: The fastest way through the four month regression common in babies

?Sample 4 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

5:00 am | An early morning feed (don’t change diaper) just put right back down to bed
7:30 am | Wake up and feed, bathe baby (I use this in the sink and it’s amazing)
8:30 am | Go down for a nap
10:30 am | Feed baby, snuggle, special tummy time mat
11:30 am | Go down for a nap
1:30 pm | Feed baby, go for walk, carry baby around house to do chores, read to baby or hold baby while you read
2:30 pm | Go down for a nap
4:30 pm | Feed baby, put in infant seat, or on a blanket while you cook, family time
5:30 pm | Quick nap
6:15 pm | Feed baby, play with daddy, play with siblings, play on mat, bathe if you didn’t in the morning
7:30 pm | Feed baby and put to bed, you can rock gently to drowsy then in the crib, or I find that mine often feed to sleep and sleep the whole night through
10:30 pm | Dream feed (last feed before bedtime) (if they aren’t yet sleeping through the night)

Month 5 – Gearing Up For Solids

The truth is, when babies turn 5 months they can start getting cranky.

They were sweet and now they are whiny fussy spirited and colicky babies.

Basically, they don’t want to nap and they don’t want to go to bed and they want to start waking up at night when they haven’t done that in weeks.

It seems mysterious.

It’s not.

Baby is probably hungry and gearing up for solids

They’re hungry. Their bodies are getting ready (or are already ready depending on who you believe) for solids and so they are, quite simply, hungry.

In years past, babies were encouraged to start solids at 4 months. Now it is 6 months.

I’m not here to argue with the American Academy of Pediatrics, but want to encourage you, tired mama, that when your baby starts getting some solids they’ll calm down and rest well again.

At your pediatrician’s approval, you can probably even start introducing solid food a little at a time into your baby feeding schedule.

Read: A 5 month old recommended schedule (including feeding, nap and bed times)

?Sample 5 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

7:00 am – wake up for the day, eat, play
8:30 am – nap
10:00 am – wake, eat, play
11:30 am – nap
1:00 pm – wake, eat, play
2:30 pm – nap
4:00 pm – wake, eat, play
5:00 – 5:30 pm – catnap
7:00 pm – bath, bedtime routine, eat, down for the night
10:00 – 11:00 pm (within that time) – dream feed if desired
11:00 pm – 7:00 am – night feeds as necessary

Month 6 – Solids

I am not going to say there’s a magic bullet with sleep because – well – there are a few factors.

But if I did have to choose one.

It’d be this: feeding baby more.

More food is what helps babies get through regressions and it’s what helps the 6 month old babies finally start sleeping through the night.

Hunger will mess with sleep

Once baby isn’t starving, then you’ll see what you’re working with. If baby is eating a lot and still waking up to comfort feed or to talk to you, then take my free series to help.

It will help.

Start with small amounts of solid foods a few times a day and work up to full servings.

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Chubby baby holding feet lying on blanket

?Sample 6 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

7:30 am – wake up, feed, solids for breakfast
8:15 am – free play (floor time on a play or development mat, sibling play)
9:00 am – down for nap
11:00 am – wake up, feed, solids
11:45 am – free play (floor time, practicing sitting or standing, sibling plan)
12:30 pm – down for nap
2:30 pm – wake up, feed, solids
3:14 pm – free play (floor time, sibling play)
4:30 pm – down for nap
5:30 pm – wake up, feed, bedtime snack
6:45 pm – bedtime routine (bath, singing, cuddling, putting on lotion, etc.) We use this for the kitchen sink and absolutely love it.
7:30 pm – quick feed, bedtime
10:00 pm – dream feed baby before you go to bed if baby isn’t sleeping through the night

Month 7 – Closer To a 4 Hour Schedule

You should start getting some traction this month.

You are tethered to a high chair for a lot of it, though.

Be warned.

When we lived with my grandmother, she’d often feed the baby throughout the day. It was SO PRECIOUS to them and to me. Because she was patient and could spend 30 minutes feeding baby.

I’m sure it’s less if you are doing baby wed leaning, but I didn’t get there with any of mine.

?Sample 7 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

7:00 am – Wake up, milk, solids for breakfast
8:00 am – Free play (floor time, cuddle time with mom, sibling play)
9:00 am – Nap time
10:45 or 11:00 am – Wake up, milk, solids
12:00 pm – Free play (floor time, practicing sitting, standing, pulling up, sibling play)
1:00 pm – Nap time
3:00 pm – Wake up, milk, solids
3:45 pm – Free play (errands, play with siblings, floor time, etc.)
5:00 pm – Short nap
5:30 pm – Wake up, milk, solids
6:15 pm – Bedtime routines that help baby get ready for sleep (bath, singing, cuddling, putting on lotion, lights, curtains, etc.)
7:00 pm – Quick feed (milk), and down to bed (you may want to add cluster feeding here too if it fits)
And… if baby isn’t sleeping through the night yet.
10:00 pm – Dreamfeed

If your baby wakes up earlier or later than this routine, you can simply adjust based on your baby’s wake time. The wake time is actually very important in a baby’s day to day routine.
If baby wakes early from a nap, yet is content, don’t push up the feeding. Leave it until normal time unless baby is clearly hungry.
Get down familiar rhythms and routines throughout your day. (Here is more on family rhythms and routines)

Read: 7 month old schedule with nursing and solids suggested times

Month 8 – Baby’s Sitting UP!

This month is so precious. I always tell random strangers (yes, I always talk to random strangers) that This 6 to 12 month period is The Absolute Best.

Baby is sitting up a lot. Is awake more. Is giggling a lot. Starts the commando crawl maybe (at least some of mine did!) and is just generally easy.

It’s also a prime time to start sleep training your little one if you haven’t already.

?Sample 8 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

7:30 am – wake up, feed, solids for breakfast
8:15 am – free play (floor time on a play or development mat, sibling play)
9:00 am – down for nap
11:00 am – wake up, feed, solids
11:45 am – free play
12:30 pm – down for nap
2:30 pm – wake up, feed, solids
3:14 pm – free play (floor time, sibling play)
4:30 pm – down for nap
6:00 pm – wake up, feed, bedtime snack
6:45 pm – bedtime routine (bath, singing, cuddling, putting on lotion, etc.)
7:30 pm – quick feed, bedtime (some cluster feeding (close together feeds) here when too)
10:00 pm – dream feed (your last feed before bed)

Read: The 6 – 9 month routine that will help baby sleep and nap well

baby being held by mother asleep with mother rubbing baby's face

Month 9 – So precious at this age!

This 9 to 12 month period is when babies start crawling around, making huge messes, trying to empty the trash can, and want to shove everything in their mouths.

While you may not need to “baby proof” in a very strict sense of the word, it is a time to practice more vigilance.

But, hey, you’re already used to being hyper-vigilant aren’t you?

?Sample 9 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

6:30 am – milk and solids
8:30 am – morning nap
10:30 am – milk and small snack
12:00 pm or so – lunch with family
1:00 pm – afternoon nap
3:30 pm – milk and snack
5:00 to 5:30 pm – dinner with family and solids
6:30 pm – bedtime snack if desired
7:00 pm – milk and bedtime

Of course, dinner time will be whatever time your family actually eats dinner. We had 5 kids in 5 years with earlier baby bedtimes, so we always had (and still have) dinner quite early.

Read: The 9 to 12 Month Routine That Works Wonders

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Weary To Well

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Month 10 – Crawling yet?

Your baby is inching closer every day to being one. The question is, have you considered doing a smash cake?

Okay that’s not the question.

So your little one is now drinking lots of milk, eating lots of solids, and hopefully sleeping through the night and taking two good naps a day.

?Sample 10 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

7:00 am – Wake up for the day, eat, play
10:00 am – Nap
11:00 am – Wake, eat, and play
12:00 pm – Eat lunch
1:30 pm – Nap
3:30 pm – Wake, eat, and play
5:30 pm – Solids with family at dinner
6:30 pm – Bedtime routine, milk
7:00 pm – Bedtime

baby sleeping on bed with blue blanket and a teddy bear

Month 11 – Nearly One Year… OH MY!

This is right prime into my favorite baby time. So squishy, so happy, so easy.

I’m making a schedule here for those stay at home mamas whose babies like to sleep in.

There are surprisingly a lot of these little babies – future night owls? – so if you have to get up much earlier, simply move the times back.

?Sample 11 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

8:30 am – Wake up for the day, eat, play
11:00 am – Nap
12:30 pm – Wake, eat, and play
3:00 pm – Nap
4:30 pm – Wake, eat, and play
6:00 pm – Solids with family at dinner
8:00 pm – Bedtime routine, milk
8:30 pm – Bedtime

Month 12 – 1 Year Old

So, if you plan on breastfeeding your baby past the year mark, then this schedule might work for you.

You may need to fit more feedings in to maintain your supply, for instance, so be aware of how much baby feeds and how much milk you have.

I know some moms who fed once a day for months and still had plenty of milk for that feed. At that point, it was more of a comfort feed.

?Sample 1 Year Old / 12 Month Old Breastfeeding Schedule?

7:00 am – Wake up, eat breakfast, play
9:30 am – Nap
10:45 am – Wake up, play
12:00 pm – Lunch, play
1:00 pm – Nap
3:30 pm – Wake up, snack, play
5:30 pm – Dinner
6:00 pm – Bath, wind down, family time
7:30 pm – Bedtime

Read: The highly successful 1 year old sleep schedule

Frequently Asked Questions:

How can I tell if my baby is getting enough milk?

Read their cues: are they content after feeding? Can you hear them audibly swallowing? Are they actively feeding? Are they getting full feeds or snacking throughout the day? Make sure they are having adequate wet and dirty diapers throughout the day and are gaining weight. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s pediatrician or a lactation consultant if you have any questions or concerns!

What are signs that a baby is drowsy enough to go to sleep?

Some signs that your baby is drowsy for sleep include: relaxed body, yawning, and fluttering eyelids. When you put your baby down in their crib, their eyes should not be fully closed (as in they’re already sleeping). We want them to be aware that they’re in their crib while being tired enough to put themselves to sleep.

Sources:

How to Cope When Your Child Talks Nonstop

We already have some good tips for quieting the noise in our homes. We also know a great calm down trick for excessive hyperactivity. Now let’s talk about what to do when your child talks nonstop… and it makes you want to pull your hair out.

We must all understand the irony of this…

I am a nonstop talker.

Well, to be honest, I talk less than I used to. Mostly because with these kids, I can’t get a word in. But I used to talk all the time.

When I was nervous.

When I was bored.

Maybe because I’m a lonely only (Birth Order Matters) and I never had a sibling around to take the edge off my talking. Either way… I’m getting back what I paid in. In spades!

I recently had a reader write and ask this. I’ve paraphrased (because I can’t find the email) but this was the gist.

“I love my daughter to pieces, but she talks nonstop. She is constantly asking me questions and trying to get my attention while I’m doing things and it really drives me nuts.

I know it’s not good to ignore her or get frustrated, and I want her to feel she can talk to me, but she talks nonstop and it’s making me crazy.

Any tips?”

At the time, I sent one or two tips, but I hadn’t really had direct experience with this, and now I do.

But before we move on… I know you are all thinking of this quote. This beautiful true quote that is also guilt inducing if your talker is doing your head in.

Let’s agree that listening and engaging with our kids is good. It’s possible to be a present parent without losing it.

It is also possible, however, to pretend your talker doesn’t drive you nuts and then – when you can’t take it anymore – explode in frustration with something like “Shut up!” or “Can’t you just stop talking for like 5 minutes?”

Really… those reactions are what we want to avoid.

What To Do When Your Child Talks Nonstop (And You Want to Pull Your Hair Out…)

Having a child who talks a lot and wants to engage with you is good, let’s figure out how to make it good for everyone.

Make Time For Talk

So the first thing we need to make sure we’re doing is to actually engage with our child. My Talker wants to talk all the time so it seems like we talk all the time… but when I thought about it we don’t really.

I’ve tried to make purposeful time for conversations throughout the day, or at least a good run at bedtime, so I know there is true talking happening.

This can be ten minutes while you prepare dinner, a nice cuddle in bed at bedtime, or talking in the car while running errands.

The key is to be engaged and present, not absent. To make sure your child knows you are actively engaging in the conversation. This will also help with your mom guilt.

Boundaries & Behavior

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Bye, Bye Backtalk

Backtalk isn’t just annoying—it’s draining, discouraging, and makes even the simplest requests feel like full-blown negotiations. This workshop will give you a step-by-step plan to stop the constant pushback and start building respectful, two-way communication with your kids. Because when you know how to hold boundaries and help your child feel heard, the fight fizzles—and connection takes its place.

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child smiling at the camera over her shoulder

Make Eye Contact and Focus

When you’ve decided it’s Talk Time, make sure you are focusing. I’ve found it so hard to focus on anything throughout the day when the kids are all running free.

Just today as the kids were doing chores and vying for our attention and being loud, my husband looked at me and said…

“We live on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.”

?????

That said, when I’ve decided I’m going to fully listen, it’s much easier.

To make sure you’re engaging you can:

kneel down at their eye level
put down your phone, book, or task at hand
repeat what your child has said (active listening) before responding
ask questions they can’t answer with “yes” or “no”

Make Time for You

Here’s the kicker. You need to find time for you (if you’re bad at this, I’ve created a printable workbook for you). If you are consistently at the end of your rope you’ll not react well to your children.

You’ll become an angry mom with a lot of triggers. You’ll be unreasonable, then regret it.

Find time for yourself in the everyday. Then, if that’s not enough, prioritize it. This could be one evening a week. It might mean giving your bathroom a face lift so it’s a spa like retreat for you in the evenings.

Perhaps you could buy some books to help unwind (here are some good books for moms). Whatever you need to do to get centered and unwind, do that.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

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Choose Helpful Phrases

Yesterday my husband was swimming in the pool with two kids. He said they were constantly talking, asking questions, nudging, nudging, asking questions, and he nearly lost it.

And for him, “losing it” means withdrawing from the family.

Afterwards we talked and he decided he needed to instruct them to give him space, not simply close his eyes and try not to blow his lid.

These phrases can help you to communicate your need for space to your child without being rude or causing them to feel rejected.

The effects of rejection in childhood are real and, where possible, we always want to communicate acceptance while we keep our boundaries.

“Give me a minute.” Kids can learn this.
“I need some space.” Before you need the space, explain what this means.
“No talking for a minute or two.” As long as you don’t test them beyond their self-control levels, this works.

child facing the other way with fists in the air

Let Them Talk… and Let Go of Guilt

At the end of the day, some children talk more than others. Sometimes they go on and on and on and on and it’s not only annoying, but maddening.

Ultimately, we want our children to talk to us freely and willingly, but we also have limits.

This is particularly true for introverted moms.

If you must, just let them talk. You can even tell them they are free to talk, but you can’t respond right now. It’s okay. You don’t have to feel guilty you aren’t able to engage in active conversation 24 hours a day. Kids can learn when it’s a good idea to talk to you or not.

Engage with your child.

Be present when you’re present.

And give yourself a break when you need a rest.

FAQs:

What if my child’s talking disrupts their activities or routines?

Acknowledge their enthusiasm and assure them that you love hearing what they have to say. Then, set clear expectations for how they should do a task. If your child understands the concept of time, tell them how long something should take or use a timer to keep them on track to complete a routine. Creating clear communication zones can help, such as: “While we are doing _________, we need to be focused on the task at hand. Then, we will have some time to talk.”

How do I teach my child about conversation etiquette?

By modeling conversation etiquette! Model active listening, engaging in conversations, taking turns, using eye contact, and asking open-ended questions. If your child is struggling with dominating conversations with their talking, help them understand that conversations are shared spaces. Guide them to balance sharing their thoughts with listening to others.

How can I encourage meaningful conversations with my kids during Talk Time?

Oooh, I love this question! Create a judgement-free zone where kids feel safe and heard when they share. On a lighter note, share stories, use their interests to drive conversations, have some conversation starter ideas handy (“would you rather” is a great one for kids!), ask open ended questions, and have fun!

Wind-down Routines Guaranteed to Help Your Baby Sleep

Inside you’ll find wind down routines guaranteed to help baby sleep. Baby sleep struggles are one of the major reasons people land on my blog.

Babies need sleep.

Mamas need sleep.

But sleep, unfortunately, isn’t always easy to be had.

The good news is this: everyone was born to have regenerative sleep!

I talk a lot about how important it is our little ones are sleeping well and this becomes exponentially important the more children you have because – quite simply – you can’t stay up all night every night with 3 little bundles of joy.

The fact is, if you are up a lot at night then you actually *are* losing your mind.

A good rule of thumb?

One definite way to help your babies get in the mood for sleep is to have a consistent bedtime wind-down routine.

This means you can’t take them from a living room full of the other screaming family members and just put them in a dark room ready to sleep in 2 minutes.

Just as you wouldn’t be able to sleep with such a quick transition, neither can they.

Related Reads:

What’s a wind-down routine?

A wind-down is something that:

Helps signal bedtime is coming;
Is consistent;
Calms the baby;
Gives opportunity for physical touch and togetherness; and
Helps the baby become drowsy, but not fully asleep.

Read: Foolproof Baby Sleep Tips — Routines, Habits & Strategies

The 5 “basics” behind a wind down routine

More research comes out every year showcasing the importance of “brain training.”

In a nutshell, what we do over and over again becomes second nature to our brains.

If you’re trying to get a handle on this from the get go, I’d recommend using our daily baby logs and mom logs to get it all out of your head and onto paper.

1. They go on autopilot

Natural conditioning helps develop healthy sleeping habits. The same happens with our children except we are the ones who help to train their brains, so to speak.

If you want your baby to wind down well to help promote healthy sleep, there are certain behaviors that will help do this.

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Sleep Little Lamb (Ages 0-5)

Moms will walk away with a step-by-step sleep plan tailored to their child’s age and needs, designed to improve sleep within 3 days to 2 weeks.

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2. Low low lights

Turning the lights lower in the evening, whether by lighting a candle or turning on a lamp instead of the ceiling light, can help signal to the brain it’s time to produce melatonin.

This is the drowsy hormone and helps calm the body down in anticipation of sleep. This is really helpful for babies who have witching hours.

3. Quiet

I realize this can seem like a pipe dream if there are young children in the house. But… even for a baby, quiet will help calm the mind. Avoid loud music, TV, or activities that stimulate.

You may need to do a calm down trick to help everyone in the house simmer down, but it’s worth it.

Read: How To Keep Louder Siblings Away From Baby

4. Easy Focus

Avoid having anything too mentally active or stimulating in the wind down routine. For example, you wouldn’t want to do a puzzle or any type of activity that requires concentration.

However, reading a book is a perfect wind down routine element because it’s easy focus. This is particularly true for babies and children.

They can look and listen but don’t have to do anything “active”. Listening can be an activity that is calming.

Related:

5. Soothing environment

Studies have shown that some scents (lavender for example) actually serve to decrease the activity of the nervous system, helping lull you into a sleep ready state.

Here are some ways to help create a soothing environment:

Diffuse essential oils
Turn on white noise
Hang up your blackout curtains so the room is dim

Boundaries & Behavior

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Goodnight Bedtime Battles

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Examples of what to include in your routine

There are many ways to help your baby wind down. While some will undoubtedly work better than others, you can choose what works best for your family.

A warm bath or shower
Applying lotion, powder, or cream
Baby massage
Giving baby a pacifier (this is the best there is)
Turning the lights down low or lighting candles
Singing or listening to calming music
Reading books (here’s how to read to little ones who won’t sit still)
Snuggle time with mom and dad
Swaddling
Rocking until drowsy
White noise (this works wonders)
Sitting or lying together
Praying

Sample wind down routines

First of all, it’s very important to note that establishing and following a sleeping schedule is essential for mastering any wind down routine.

For example, if baby is too fussy because he has been awake too long… trying a wind down routine may prove to be more difficult. It’s best to start a wind down routine as part of a healthy sleep schedule.

I had very similar, but slightly different routines with my two oldest children… here they are as examples:

My oldest child- I started the routine by giving the pacifier (this signaled sleepy). Then, I would read one or two short stores and rocked in the rocking chair. I would always be sure to dim the lights. I would end with by signing a song and giving lots of gentle kisses.
My second oldest child– He loved massages… so I started with some lavender lotion and a little rub on his arms and legs. He didn’t care for the pacifier so I didn’t stress about that. He also got to listen to a few short books and then we would lie together for a few minutes.

Whatever you choose to include in your wind down routine, your child is sure to learn to recognize them and ease his or her way into peaceful sleep. Try a few from the list above and when you find something that works… stick to it.

Remember… routine and consistency are key.

You got this, momma!

While there are many more, you don’t want to spend 3 hours on a bedtime routine. The goal is to help the baby get drowsy and then put them in their crib while still slightly awake.

A great wind-down routine actually can be the difference between a baby who fights sleep all night and one who sleeps peacefully.

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The fact of the matter is…

Babies go to sleep better and sleep longer when they are calm, settled, and in a good routine. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing with church bells and four part harmony.

The more you are able to protect your baby’s sleep, create a good wind-down routine, and make it a regular part of your evening, the better your whole family will sleep.

To recap, to help your babies sleep better at night you want to:

Prevent them from getting overtired
Choose an appropriate bedtime
Give your baby a calming bath or wipe down
Before putting on a clean diaper and swaddle, give your baby a rubdown or massage with nice calming lotions
Have some quiet quality time to help get your baby very drowsy before putting him into the crib.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Should I follow a specific order for the wind down routine?

A wind down routine doesn’t have to be exactly the same every night to be effective. The goal is to create a routine that signals to your baby’s body that it is time for sleep. The routine should be recognizable to your baby but you can modify the routine to what works for your baby.

How long should our wind down routine be?

Ultimately, every baby will need varying amounts of time to wind down so there isn’t magic number here. Give yourself around 10-15 minutes before their bedtime to do your wind down routine and adjust the timeframe if necessary. Read their cues to see about how long it takes them to get drowsy and go from there!

What if my baby resists the routine?

It will get easier with time. This is where consistency is key! Remember that what you do over and over again will become second nature to your baby’s brain.

Sources:

Nip 1-Year-Old Tantrums In The Bud With These Tricks!

If you are having some mega one year old tantrums or meltdowns in your home, these tips will help your little one have peaceful days.

1 is so so hard.

The baby phase is just so precious and sweet and cute and – if they are sleeping – not too difficult. Emotionally it might be difficult, but behavior wise, nah.

One year olds?

They’re hard.

They are trying to grab knives and fall off chairs and walk onto roads and do all manner of life threatening things.

Reminds me of this infographic I made one time that went viral numerous times.

Read: Is Your 1-Year-Old Wearing You Out? Try These Simple Activities

This is the age where babies grow into toddlers and begin to find their place in the world.

They are a bit less dependent on mama (although, of course, still wholly dependent on you) and their personalities start to emerge as well.

So do many different types of behavior.

At this age, unless baby is exhausted or extremely over-stimulated, tantrums shouldn’t be too severe or exaggerated.

It’s a great time to set some expectations and boundaries around various family rules. If we do this well, the next few years won’t be nearly as tricky.

Read: How To Be An Empathetic Mom Without Being Soft On The Rules

one year old smiling and grabbing for the camera

What does a one year old tantrum look like?

Arching back, bucking, and fighting in the high chair or car seat.

Throwing themselves down onto the ground in protest

Hitting, kicking, or fighting

Refusing to do what you’ve asked

Running away from you instead of coming to you

That’s just a sampling, but most one year old behaviors you don’t like will be included in those above.

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Discipline with Dignity

Discipline shouldn’t feel like a battle or a shot in the dark. This workshop gives you a clear, balanced plan for setting boundaries that build respect and responsibility—without yelling, harsh punishments, or constant power struggles.

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Nip One Year Old Tantrums In The Bud With These Tricks!

Here’s what you’ll find in this post to help your little one dispense with the one year old tantrums.

Square one: sleep and routine and eating

There are two things to ask yourself before you fear your little 1 year old is a destined rebel.

Has he had enough sleep?
Does he have a predictable routine?
Is he eating enough nutritionally dense foods? If not, is he snacking all day?

If the answer to these questions are no, no, no, and yes… start there.

A tired baby will be fussy and out of sorts. A baby who doesn’t know when to expect what and experiences mom showing up and asking him to do something “all of a sudden” will not respond as pleasantly as a child who is used to the daily flow.

Your routine doesn’t have to be to the minute, but find a predictable daily rhythm (even if all the days are slightly different) and stick with it.

Watch how your little one eats. If you find your child snacks all day, but rarely eats enough to be full and fights more nutritious foods, start there. Have set snack times and try to encourage baby to eat well at meals. This will help sleep and behavior.

Read: The Tried-And-True 1 Year Old Sleep Schedule

Watch this quick video for some insight on an important element in your 1 year old’s sleep schedule.

Wait it out or keep moving?

With little ones, it’s not a good idea to get into a negotiation.

Or to try and reason with a child.

When your one year old is throwing a tantrum, she is not thinking with her cerebral cortex (logical thinking brain). She is feeling with her amygdala (emotional brain).

Don’t expect your one year old to be reasonable and logical. Instead, expect them to gradually come to understand and follow your family rules.

If you’ve asked your little one to come to you and they do not, simply go to them, pick them up and bring them back to the starting point. No need to yell, get angry, or make a big fuss. Simply model for your child what you expect of them.

1 year olds can often react strongly if you don’t give them what they want. That’s okay. The direct goal is not that your one year old doesn’t react, but that they learn to cope with getting what they get. If you were not going to give them something, don’t give it. Giving a child something after a tantrum teaches your child that if they throw a tantrum they will get something. Then they will continue this. It’s not manipulation, it’s good sense. If I could cry to my lender and avoid paying my mortgage – and that worked – then I’d do it monthly.

Just because your child is pitching a fit doesn’t mean you need to actually do anything. Sometimes, doing nothing, is exactly the ticket. If they’re fussing because they want you to do something you aren’t going to do, then let them get on with their fit. It’ll pass.

Read: A Brilliant Tip for Moms Of Littles to Follow… The 10-Year-Rule

Say What You See^®with one year old tantrums

A good rule of thumb to show your child you see them and understand, is to Say What You See^®.

Say What You See is a Language of Listening concept and is a bit like narrating what is happening, without adding any judgment or value to it.

Your 1 year old is in the high chair and is refusing to eat. She is throwing her food onto the ground.

You might say something like, “You don’t want to eat that! You are done.”

Then you take the food away.

Next, your little one might start arching her back or banging on the high chair, trying to get out.

“You are ready to get down NOW! We get down when dinner is over.”

You are simply saying what is going on. This helps your child understand that you are aware of what is happening.

At this age that is quite important since many 1 year olds are pre-verbal and not able to fully explain themselves.

Read: Trying to Stop a Temper Tantrum? 7 Things You Might Be Missing

Don’t “parent to emotions” while your one year old is having a tantrum

One mistake that’s so easy to make at this age, is to make your own choices based on your child’s whims.

The problem with this is not that you are taking into consideration your child’s wants, but that giving the burden of parenting over to your one year old is simply unwise.

They want candy.

They don’t want naps.

Or they like to run away from you in crowds.

They will climb too tall tables and try to jump off.

And they’ll touch the oven.

You get the idea.

Families need boundaries and rules and these are decided by the parents. If your child reacts emotionally or has one year old tantrums in response to these rules, that’s okay!

This is normal.

That doesn’t mean you change your rules or boundaries. You simply help your child do what’s expected of them.

If you change your mind on what you expect your child to do or not do based on their reactions, you will always be tossed to and fro by baby’s whims. And baby’s whims will change based on their mood, their irritability, and their current mood. You can’t make your own decisions based on their moods.

You don’t need tons of rules, but the rules you do have, keep them whether or not baby momentarily likes it.

Read: 3 Simple Keys To Understanding Your Child’s Emotional Needs

Control the environment

Don’t expect your 1 year old to have a high and consistent level of self-control.

They just aren’t old enough.

Can they learn self-control? Yes!

Can they learn to follow your instructions? Of course!

A common mistake I see with moms (and that I see in myself) is giving our children too much freedom then expecting them to have the self-control to make good choices in the face of temptation.

If you don’t want your child to make a huge mess with toys, don’t let them have free reign over a lot of toys.
If you’ve got certain rooms that are off limits to little ones – and they can’t take a hint – child proof that door.
Want them to eat healthier foods instead of junk? Don’t keep junk food visible.
Have a child who frequently runs away from you in public? Keep them in a stroller.

So, preventing behaviors beforehand by managing the environment is the easiest and simplest way to prevent one year old tantrums.

Boundaries & Behavior

Loving Authority

Being in charge doesn’t mean being harsh or heavy-handed—it means being steady, clear, and confident. This workshop will help you understand what healthy authority really looks like. When you know how to show up as a secure, grounded leader, your kids feel safe, and everyone starts listening.

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Know your boundaries and keep them, it WILL get better

Last but not least… (maybe I should have done it first?) is this… know your own boundaries and keep them.

It’s not easy keeping boundaries.

Especially not in the face of one year old tantrums or toddler or preschooler meltdowns.

But, it’s basically the only way.

If you constantly change your plan based on baby’s mood you will soon have a mood to rival baby’s. Breaking your own boundaries over and over creates anxiety and depression. True story.

Baby can be disappointed and upset and cry and all of that is okay. If you are providing a loving nurturing home with food, times for rest, and a safe bed then you are doing good. Baby will not be happy with all your choices and that means they are learning what they like and don’t like. The goal is not to make them “like” something, but help them learn to follow the family rules.

Be consistent. 100% is not necessary, but if baby sees that you are consistent with what you allow and don’t allow, they will get the hang of it. Our preschool recently had a meeting and reminded us parents that the kids are all capable of learning the school rules and keeping them. It seems to be the parents who forget!

Read: Boundaries: The Only Way To Stay Sane In Motherhood & Life

Motherhood & Wellbeing

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

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FAQs about 1 year olds

Are tantrums normal for a 1 year old?

Yes! Depending on your baby’s personality, some one year olds have more temper tantrums than others. If your baby is used to having their daily routine and habits led predictably by mom, they are less likely to throw fits. If they are overtired and overstimulated, they are also more likely to throw a tantrum.

Can a 1 year old have anger issues?

1 is a little young for underlying anger issues. However, there are quite a few that can cause your toddler to be unsettled and angry. Pain, teething, hunger, overtiredness, and overstimulation can all be overwhelming to your little one and cause them to act angry.

How do I deal with my 1 year old’s tantrums?

As mentioned above, the best ways to deal with tantrums are to manage your baby’s day well, to keep them well fed and not too snacked up, to make sure they are not overtired or overstimulated, and to have clear ground rules that you help your little one follow.

Can a 1 year old understand no?

Absolutely. 1-year-olds can understand a great deal and the concept of “no” is one of them. You can begin to help your little one understand this more and more by saying it and then letting your child respond. If they continue to do what you’ve said no to, you remove them from the situation to communicate that message, then try again later.

Does language development tend to help with decreasing tantrums?

Some tantrums are the result of a child not being able to communicate their needs or wants effectively. With language development, some children have less tantrums. Some ways you can encourage language development include: reading books, singing songs, repeating rhymes, talking with them frequently, and using simple language.

Can separation anxiety lead to tantrums?

Yes. Remember, separation anxiety is a phase that will pass, so give yourself (and your child!) grace in the meantime. Some things that could help with separation anxiety include: creating a goodbye routine (keep it short and practice it), stay calm and confident, and give your child a comfort item when you leave.

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Being from a small town, there actually weren’t many options.

50+ Connection Questions

What We’ll Do Instead Of Sending Our Child To Preschool

We’ll sleep late and snuggle.

We’ll have laid back breakfasts.

We’ll spend time with family.

We’ll be busy outside.

We’ll enjoy long naps.

We’ll do school for fun.

50+ Connection Questions

We’ll read a lot.

We’ll do life together.

We’ll try our hand at nothing.

We’ll make sure she’s prepared.

We’ll enjoy this season.

50+ Connection Questions

Preschool Or Not FAQ

Maybe all moms but…

Self-Care Routine Tracker

So, how can you survive and even thrive during this phase?

1. Start out how you can hold out

Breaks matter!

2. Work on the sleep

Self-Care Routine Tracker

3. Get some “you” time

4. Don’t fill your emotional basement

5. Let your husband help

Postpartum Phase FAQ

Want some printables to hang up?

Self-Care Routine Tracker

It’s rough when your baby won’t sleep

Top 10 Reasons Your Baby Won’t Sleep

Your baby can’t sleep because she’s overtired

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Baby is overstimulated

Baby can’t sleep because there’s no routine

Baby is awake too long before napping and then won’t go down at naptime

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Baby has a sleep prop and can’t sleep without it

Baby has a physical or medical discomfort

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Babe can’t transition from active to passive sleep alone

Baby won’t sleep because he doesn’t eat enough solids

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Your little one is too hot or cold

Baby can’t sleep because she’s having a growth spurt or wonder week

Additional Reasons That Prevent Babies Sleeping Well

A 6 to 9 Month Sample Routine:

Some Thoughts on the 6-9 Month Age

Routine or Rhythm?

Eating & nutrition is very important

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Getting Ready to Drop a Nap

Bath Time

Growth Spurt

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Floor Time

Common issues that happen to babies 6 months of age

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Teething can disrupt sleep for 6 to 9-month-old babies

Babies can resist solid foods around 6 or 7 months

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Sleep disruptions – 6 months is a perfect time to sleep train

Rolling and getting stuck, oh my!

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Nap routines for 6 months olds

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Mom self-care at the 6-month mark

The Key to a Good 6 to 9 Month Routine:

1) Hang it Up

2) Set Alarms or Notifications

3) Practice and Keep at It

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Want visual routines to hang up?

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Why, oh why do a dream feed?

What is a dream feed, anyway?

Why do you do it?

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST