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If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

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Have daily traditions with your kids

By having certain standard activities each day that give children time and attention, you don’t always have to plan something grandiose.

Simple things like no screen mealtimes, reading before naps and bedtime, talking before bed, and asking questions at school pick-up demonstrate your love for your child.

Add in regular hugs, cuddles, and roughhousing and you’re already giving your child a lot of affirmation.

Related Reads:

Teach your children to wait

Sounds like the opposite of “present parenting”, but you don’t have to jump when they say jump. In fact, when you give your children a false sense of control over their own lives they become insecure, not more secure.

By teaching your child to “give you a minute” they learn patience, self-control, and trust. Trust is built when you follow through with what you’ve said.

Your child can wait until you finish talking with your spouse, unloading the dishwasher, or putting the baby to bed. Then, when you’re able, you can get eye level and refer to point #1.

Trust is built when you follow through with what you’ve said. Your child can wait until you finish talking with your spouse, unloading the dishwasher, or putting the baby to bed. Then, when you’re able, you can get eye level and refer to point #1.

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

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Teach your children to use their imagination and play

Children who are used to playing alone regularly and using their imagination instead of being entertained are more content with their own company. They are less needy, whiney, and don’t create habits of acting out to get attention.

Couple that with a mom who already gives daily attention they can count on and you have an independent child who is confident in their parents’ love and affection.

The less a child is able to entertain themselves the more they are at your feet all day. The more they are at your feet all day the more you try to escape them. And the more you try to escape them the more guilty you feel and the worse your children behave in an effort to get attention. It’s the unhappy cycle at work.

Know Your Limits

One of the quickest ways towards the “I have to ignore my kids today or I will scream” phase is ignoring your need to be refreshed. Day after day of hyper-vigilance and night after night of night wakings, you are Past the Point.

When we are emotionally drained and overwhelmed we simply don’t have the capacity to give our kids the attention we’d like. This is why it’s important to find time for ourselves in everyday life as best we can. The more centered we are the more we have to give our kids.

The more empty we are, the more we resent our kid’s cries for attention.

Read: Mom Burnout — A Freeing Truth

Here Is What Kids Remember More Than Presents On Their Birthdays

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

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Recognize what false guilt is

In fact, you are likely suffering from false guilt. False guilt is when you are innocent of something yet feel guilty about it.

You spent 4 hours with the kids, spent 12 fiddling with fondant for their minion birthday cake, then played tea party with your daughter and you go to bed wondering if it was enough. False guilt.

One of my most popular posts to date is The Dangers of Present but Absent Parenting. However, to be a proper present but absent parent you’ll have to create patterns of neglect that last years.

This is not a one-time “I have a lot to do today” type thing. If you work hard to be with your kids and do things for them and with them, you are nowhere near a present but absent parent.

It is necessary to spend quality time with your child.

It is important they know they are loved and cherished.

But it’s okay if your kids play outside alone.

Or if you sit down to read a book – have mercy – in the middle of the day.

You are a loving mother, but you are not everything to everyone at every minute. And that’s okay.

Tips for Taking Preschoolers on an “Educational” Trip

If you’ve ever had a wild hair to take your kids away and see some sights, I hope these tips will help. Preschoolers are enthusiastic sponges so don’t shy away from the trip because it seems like a hassle.

Since I didn’t send my 4-year-old to preschool, I thought hard about creating fun times.

My children now take turns lying on the couch, closing their eyes, and crossing their arms over their chest like an X. Then, whoever’s turn it is, says…

“I’m Pharoah and I’m going to sleep… kiss my head goodnight…”

Then when it’s time to “wake up” they run to me, give me a hug, and tell me how much they missed me while they were asleep.

I don’t even…

I mean…

This is what they got out of our trip to the King Tut exhibit.

Not the crazy gold chariot. The hard “couch” or the multitude of beaded necklaces. No… there was a mummy and that was all she wrote.

If we hadn’t been forced to hold hands throughout the exhibit due to their age, I’m not sure I could have pried them away from the mummy in the glass case. That was worth the 2-hour drive all by itself.

Why go on a trip?

Initially, I planned to take a 48-hour mommy vacay. Then I realized that taking my 3-year-old and 4-year-old away for the weekend would still be a break compared to wrangling all four kids. I heard there was a King Tut exhibit one state over two hours down the interstate so I locked in our trip.

I knew the kids wouldn’t remember every detail nor pick up on strictly factual information, but I believe in starting the kids traveling young. They’ll remember experiences, togetherness, and excitement long past the point of remembering the details.

Unless there’s a mummy involved…

Kids loved the King Tut exhibit except they kept calling him Pharoah and got fixated on the mummy. #kingtut

How to take your preschoolers on an “educational” trip

Build anticipation

Anticipation is one of the strongest ways you can get your kids to buy into something. You mention a little about your trip here. Plant a seed there. Watch a relevant YouTub video or read a book about your subject matter. Then when you tell the kids you’re going to go see it, they’re already excited.

This will cut back on the mother’s infamous “I know I did not plan this and spend all this money and you don’t even care” expectation.

Read: A No Nagging Morning Routine For School (With Printable)

Work out accommodation logistics if staying overnight

Because I wanted to stay two nights, our destination town had cheaper rates on weekends. Presumably, it’s full with business people during the week, so we chose Friday and Saturday nights for this purpose. I chose a hotel within walking distance from the museums we wanted to visit so I didn’t have to worry about parallel parking. Parallel parking doesn’t exist to me.

Also, know this: just because they stay up late doesn’t mean they’ll sleep late. They’ll probably wake up at the same time so only push bedtime back if you’re having a gay old time. Not in an effort to get a sleep in. We got a room with two queen beds and each child got to spend one night on my bed. We didn’t co-sleep so this was super fun for them. I didn’t sleep a wink, clearly, but it was nice to watch them wiggle in their sleep.

Prepare them for the subject matter

Similar to building anticipation, talk about what you’re going to do. We went to the King Tut exhibit as well as a Chocolate exhibit in the local IMAX Exploreum. I showed them pictures and repeated myself a million times so the kids would be prepared and excited with me.

If you’re going to a science museum, do science experiments. If you’re going to a zoo, read books about animals. Nothing crazy or stressful, but help give the children a framework for their future experience.

Include a lot of breaks

We took a nap both days! We planned a nice breakfast, one museum, lunch and nap, another museum, then dinner. It felt relaxed and we remained rested throughout the trip. Young children can hang tight for a while, but will need more rest than you do if you want them to remain content and well-behaved.

Find playgrounds amidst the educational

After we did the chocolate exhibit (and my daughter does remember chocolate comes from the cocoa tree, thankfully) we found a free play area within the Exploreum. The kind with lifesize games, toys, and educational interactive stations.

They enjoyed this immensely and was probably one of their favorite parts. Letting the kids run wild after having had to walk behind me quietly for a few hours was just what the doctor ordered.

Read: After School Routines For Kids That Prevents Meltdowns

Don’t get too worked up

Most importantly, don’t get too worked up about the whole business. If you get high strung the kids get nervous and it all becomes A Bit Too Much. There will still be the same amount of meltdowns as at home, maybe more.

They might find it hard to sleep, don’t want to eat due to the excitement, or they aren’t as impressed by the history as you are.

Oh well, they’re kids. They’re still learning.

We are no strangers to traveling long distances with kids (across continents many times, in fact) and I’ve written a book, Can the Kids Come Too?, for other moms who are beginners at traveling with their kids. It’s an in-depth guide to Family Travel with Young Children and I hope you enjoy it!

Out of the Box (and Awesome) Kid Gifts

Don’t want to buy just another talking toy, but want an awesome gift? Here are some thoughtful, useful, and high-quality kids’ gifts.

Out of the box gifts for kids they will love

I’m not so great at buying gifts. Unless a gift is special or significant somehow, I don’t think it’s worth it. We actually downsize toys here, not amass them, so when I’m shopping for a gift for my kids or someone else, I really do want it to be a useful or sentimental gift.

One of my dearest friends in Australia had the most interesting things and, because she is generous, would pass them down or around after her kids had grown out of them. My kids inherited many things I would never have considered buying (or even knew existed!) but for which I was so grateful.

Enough chitty-chat-chat, here are some useful, sentimental, or just plain cool kid gifts I’ve seen around or gotten myself that I recommend.

Read These While You’re At It

3 Days Of Christmas Giveaways

Want to buy nice presents, but worry about going into debt? Here are some ways to get people what they really want without overspending.

How To Buy Nice Christmas Gifts Without Going Into Debt

In Defense of Early Christmas Shoppers

1. Wooden toys

A few months ago I came upon the site Uncommon Goods and clicked around for a long time. They have a lot of interesting toys and useful (but pretty) practical things you can use throughout your day with kids. Below are the periodic table blocks, Hebrew alphabet blocks, and foreign language blocks.

2. Cool stuff for eating

These plates are fun and I’ve been itching to buy a few, but it’s hard with 4 kids who will all want the same plate. And I don’t want to buy 4 of the same plate. #4underproblems. Below is the construction plate and utensils, the Ms. Food Face Plate, and the Garden Plate and utensils. There’s a lot more cute stuff at Uncommon Goods and you can click here for Baby Gifts, Baby Shower Gifts, and Gifts for Kids.

3. Snail Mail

My daughter has been getting Hooray Mail for the past few months and loves it. It’s a nice surprise in the mail and a fun activity to do together. I think this would be a fun gift to give a friend and their child as well. It’s inexpensive and sweet! Katie also has an ebook called 11 Secrets to Connect With Your Kids While Doing Everyday Life as well.

4. Cute Night Lights

My kids absolutely loved this nightlight. I say loved in past tense because they loved it so much my husband has to fix it. They have a lot of cute shapes, are inexpensive, and light up in different colors on rotation. They are called Kinderglo night lights and here is a super cute photo gallery with kids and their night lights. I think these would be good for a toddler who has trouble calming down to go to sleep or is scared of the dark. If you are going to purchase one use my discount code (AMFFH2015) for 20% off!

5. Knowing My God Series Starter Set

I’m a big fan of purposeful reading, particularly as it relates to faith, morals, and manners. We have read these books quite a few times and they are good for babies and toddlers. I’d take a book over a onesie any day! You can find the Knowing My God Series here.

What is your go-to gift for babies, toddlers or preschoolers?

The #1 Thing That Messes Up A Good Routine (And How to Stop It)

Yes, there is one thing that will really mess up your routine. Read on to stop it in the tracks.

I was almost hyperventilating.

It was like a panic attack.

I sat down and felt so stressed I was This Close to having an ugly cry at 1 p.m. in the afternoon.

Why?

Because I got a letter from the toll agency saying I owed them $17 in fees. Oh, and it was an error. I even had one of those beepy receiver things. I knew I wouldn’t be charged, but the fact that I had to spend 10 minutes on the phone solving a problem pushed me over the edge.

I simply did not have time in my tightly scheduled day to do it. Or if I found the time, I had to leave out something else I’d been planning on. Which would push back work the push back dinner then push back bed.

FOR A TEN MINUTE PHONE CALL.

I was over the edge, ladies. I was hypervigilant and tired and had a meltdown over a $17 clerical error. I owe it all to my too crowded routine.

The biggest thing that messes up a good routine is lack of margin.

I’ve talked about Margin before, but this is another area the book broadly discusses. Our time and energy. When we are pushed to the limit, one small thing sets us off. Or it is – as the Italians say – the drop that overflows the bowl.

How do we have a routine that serves instead of stresses?

Create empty space

When creating a routine for your kids, don’t write it down to the minute. This is a recipe for disaster. Okay okay, maybe not a disaster. Some days your schedule will work, but often life will happen. When life happens you’ll feel thrown off kilter and get in a mood. An irritable and frustrated mood that will seep down to your kids.

Read: Rhythms, Routines & Schedules

Be conservative in your estimates

I am horrible at this. I estimate 20 minutes when I should do 30 or an hour when it’ll take 2. I do this to try and “fit it all in” but really I just get less done. Instead of scheduling 25 things, doing 17, then feeling unproductive, go the opposite. If you have space for 10 things, list 7, then use whatever time is left to rest. Take a power nap. Read with the kids.

Expect to be disrupted

When I was pregnant with my third I had hormonally induced anxiety. Well, that and I’d moved overseas, changed houses, had two babies, was pregnant again, and had started working from home. So… I had emotional overwhelm. When my counselor told me what my problem was, I immediately could see she was right. My issue?

I thought everything should be convenient and easy.

What a joke. I raise my eyebrows smugly to my younger self. The mere act of expecting disruptions makes them less stressful.

Think of life as a video

In my post for Type A wives married to Type B men, one of the biggest points was this: we need to see life like a video. If you take a snapshot in time you can find flaws. Issues. Dirty diapers. Messy dishes. A disastrous playroom. However, if you take a video of the day you see the highs as well. Clean diapers. Clean kitchen. Picked up playroom. Sleeping children. By focusing on “the moment” you feel behind.

Life’s a video, not a photograph. No one really has it all together.

Don’t push the limit

If you are a Confident + Take Charge or Strong + Deliberate mom then you likely aim too high and expect too much of yourself. If you are a Calm + Steady or Fun + Energetic mom, you probably expect too little. Either way, don’t push the limit of your self-control. People today are busier than they were decades ago. A lot busier. If you take a few things off your schedule – for yourself and your kids – you will still get the important things done.

The best way to avoid having a routine that strangles is to plan for upsets.

Create space in case something comes up.

Expect the unexpected.

I highly recommend the book Margin for those who struggle to fight their overwhelm. I bought an old copy and read it in the shower. 😉 It’s a good way to decompress and I’ve found freedom through the chapters. It exposes lies we believe and false guilt. A must read for frazzled moms. (affiliate link)

What To Do When Your Children’s Behavior Is Out Of Control

If your children’s behavior is out of control, these discipline strategies will help you to develop obedience in your toddlers and preschoolers.

Before someone says it for me… I’d like to paraphrase Beth Moore here.

“We aren’t in complete control of anything or anyone.”

Parents cannot make their children become anything. They are their own people with their own free will choices. And yet…

We are in control of the consequences, rewards, and discipline in our own home.

The other night I nearly died of self-inflicted shame. It was an unruly chain of events compounded by all 4 kids being up past bedtime, eating in an unfamiliar place, and in the midst of a lot of chatter.

My kids were whining and I was so embarrassed

We were at a wedding rehearsal dinner and, as we put the plates in front of our kids, they immediately began complaining/whining/reacting. Negatively and loudly.

Interestingly enough, it was a meal they normally love. There was too much parmesan. Not enough parmesan. Too many noodles. Not enough salad. I sat back – in a twilight zone moment – and wondered when the slip had begun.

I hadn’t become a short order cook.

We hadn’t changed our mealtime rules.

And yet, even accounting for their tiredness, their attitudes of ungratefulness simply did not and will not fly. Particularly when we were eating a very delicious dinner someone else prepared for us.

The slip had happened gradually, nearly without my noticing. But now that I noticed it, it was time to change.

Read: Siblings Fighting? 6 Simple Ways To Stop The Drama

Read: Time In Vs. Time Out … and is Time Out Damaging Kids?

Discipline with Dignity

Discipline shouldn’t feel like a battle or a shot in the dark. This workshop gives you a clear, balanced plan for setting boundaries that build respect and responsibility—without yelling, harsh punishments, or constant power struggles.

Start Now

I had to get my children’s behavior under control

I sat back and mulled the situation over for a few days. I am putting my new strategy into effect this week, but first I wanted to share with you how I got off track, in case it helps you.

We gradually began responding to their complaints, whines, and mealtime meltdowns with too much empathy and not enough, “We don’t complain about meals others cook for us.”
I began repeating myself over and over and over again. Instead of letting my “no” be a “no” I kept using every situation as a teaching opportunity even though they already knew the lesson. Essentially, I lectured instead of just dealing with the issue.
We grew weary of requiring first-time obedience. Instead of making eye contact, asking for a “yes, mommy” and then having a consequence for disobedience, I waited around, hoped they’d comply, then did something about past the point for it to be effective.

Here’s how to get your toddlers and preschoolers behavior back under control

Admit you have a problem

This is often the hardest part, admitting we’ve let things go. But fear not, admitting things have gotten out of whack is freeing. You already know it deep down, so admitting there is a problem gives clarity.

Very quickly you see things without the rose colored glasses. In fact, I feel encouraged when this happens. I never was nor will ever be perfect, so I relish the opportunity to improve our home atmosphere. Particularly when I’m the reason it’s changed.

Read: 4 Year Old Behavior Problems – What To Do

Pinpoint the problem behaviors

Be as specific as possible. Is it tantrums when you ask them to do something? Refusal to do chores? Yelling, spitting, hitting, or kicking? Be very clear so you can find a good strategy going forward.

If you just say, “My kids don’t listen” you won’t know exactly how to combat this.

For me, the clincher was more times than not my kids sat down at the counter, saw their food, then immediately launched into a tirade because it wasn’t what they wanted. Additionally, they’d started getting up and down multiple times during the meal for imaginary reasons.

Read: Boundaries & Limits – Sanity For Mothers

Bye, Bye Backtalk

Backtalk isn’t just annoying—it’s draining, discouraging, and makes even the simplest requests feel like full-blown negotiations. This workshop will give you a step-by-step plan to stop the constant pushback and start building respectful, two-way communication with your kids. Because when you know how to hold boundaries and help your child feel heard, the fight fizzles—and connection takes its place.

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Brainstorm plans of action

I need a plan so that I can create rules.

Clear rules so I can teach the kids the rules. I need the kids to know the rules so they will follow the rules. Kids respond to boundaries that are clear and fair.

Read: A Surprising Reason Your Kids Are Insecure

Create appropriate “rules” for the problem behaviors

Choose a different word if you like, but create some new guidelines. This is important because you want to be able to communicate the changes to your children.

By having a clear set of boundaries for your kids, you will now feel more confident and in charge as you tackle these discipline issues. Also, children will likely comply far more simply because they know exactly what you want.

I’ve told my kids, “You cannot complain or whine about a meal you neither paid for nor cooked. Period.”

In a normal voice, they are allowed to kindly share their thoughts, but if it enters into whining, meltdown, or meanness… no. Saying, “I don’t really like pickles” is different than, “Take my plate away (shoves plate), I hate pickles.“

Have clear consequences they expect

This is key. After you share the new guidelines, also share what happens if they do or don’t follow through.

It’s also how you can stop nagging and lecturing. If they do A, B happens. If they do B, C happens. If you are able to hold these consequences tight they will do the hard work for you.

Read: 32+ Consequences For Negative Behavior

Birthdays to Remember Yearly Calendar Printable

Loving Authority

Being in charge doesn’t mean being harsh or heavy-handed—it means being steady, clear, and confident. This workshop will help you understand what healthy authority really looks like. When you know how to show up as a secure, grounded leader, your kids feel safe, and everyone starts listening.

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Be consistent and give it time

Kids are always learning and responding to our lead. If you’re consistent, fair, and kind you can expect change to happen fairly quickly.

It’s natural for things in the home to ebb and flow and go through phases. Some old rules become unnecessary and new ones necessary. That’s life. As with most things, consistency is key.

making children mind without losing yours by dr. kevin leman

I highly recommend Kevin Leman’s book Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. It’s hilarious and surprisingly healing. A lot of mommy guilt slides away reading that book, and we can’t say that often can we?

Sources:

5 American Things I Missed While Living Abroad

If you haven’t read my Randomly Informative About Page, I’ve lived overseas for quite a few years of my adult life. On 3 separate continents in 4 separate countries (England, Scotland, Australia, and Italy). Though each country was different and there were aspects I loved about each of them, there were certain common themes I found myself missing about the States.

I loved all my experiences overseas, so I hope you won’t take this as a criticism of other cultures (I love them!), but just a girl who missed her Patria when she was away. This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Manwich. All opinions are 100% mine.

1. My Favorite “American” meals

Though I cook the same wherever I live – vegetables and fruits and pastas, rice and tortillas are more or less everywhere – there were some foods I grew up with that I missed. It wasn’t as though I didn’t like local food, far far from it. But there were days we woke up and paid the outrageous prices at the Hard Rock Cafe just to get some American food and free refills. What are the foods I missed most? Manwich (for sloppy joes) was one of these. Canned pumpkin for pumpkin pie was another and crescent rolls was the third.

I made homemade versions of Manwich and they did not have what I like to call Memory Taste. One Thanksgiving I made pumpkin pie from an actual whole pumpkin. Two other couples were there, one husband who was American, and we both agreed. Some foods have better Memory Taste from the can.

Anyway, I am happy to make sloppy joes for my kids because a) I love them, 2) they love them and d) I love eating the “American food” that I really missed during my time away. Manwich actually tastes great with meatballs as well. But with sloppy joes, one of the most important parts for me is the bun. The buns should be buttered, sprinkled with garlic salt, then broiled until a bit crispy. This makes it taste just that much better.

2. The Convenience of… Everything

I lived in Italy 12 years ago. Whew, I am old. Even then people joked that Italy was 10 years behind the rest of the world in technology. Far ahead in fashion, food, and history. But in matters of business or “getting things done” I tell you… every time I had to run an errand my blood boiled. I might sit in a bank for 30 minutes waiting (behind no one) because the teller was discussing their dinner menu. Or wait in the post office to pay a utility bill that had to be paid in exact change and couldn’t be dropped in a dropbox.

Of course, life is not about convenience, nor should it be, but when you spend 20 years used to things happening quickly, it was a seriously hard adjustment. I joke that it might take me a week to run 5 errands. I joke because I had to laugh so I didn’t cry. In England, Scotland, and Australia, things were more or less as convenient as I remembered in America. I will say, there seemed to pervade more of an idea that quality of life was more important than convenience. That was good for me.

3. Customer Service

In America we like to say the “customer is always right.” Of course customers are not always right. However, you get used to those in the service industry paying deference to the customer, being attentive in a restaurant setting, or working hard to fix any support or customer service issues that may arise with a product or service. After having lived elsewhere, I can say this is truly an America perspective.

In Italy, we could’ve died of thirst before the waitress came back. That’s why the Italians ordered so much wine in one shot. Ha! In England and Scotland, they were kind but reserved. I actually had an English friend tell me British people would rather eat a dish they did not like and hadn’t ordered than send it back and get the right one. As we know, there is no right or wrong culture, just different.

But I realized early on that if I came across as “pushy” or “America” then they thought I was rude and I got pushback. Even if they had made a mistake and I was just asking for what I paid for. Instead of being forthright and blunt (thought not rude) as I usually am, I learned to beat around the bush a bit. It was hard for my Confident + Take Charge personality, but I did it.

4. Casually Talking to Strangers

I suppose this depends on which part of America you are from, but here in the South we talk to strangers. In fact, we talk to everyone. We comment on the rain, the traffic, how long the line is taking, and anything else that comes to mind. In the UK and Australia, there was some occasional stranger talking, but I usually felt a bit silly. My Scottish friend says it this way, “If you talk to someone on a street corner in Aberdeen they’ll think you want something.”

Now, in Italy, there was a lot of stranger talking. I mean a lot. But it was not the “nice day” type of talk. It was more along the lines of “you are beautiful” and “the most beautiful girl in the world” talk. Even when you know that is a complete and utter lie, it was nice. But again, you didn’t really answer these comments back because who knows where that would lead. A quick smile and you kept walking. That said, people did like to practice their English on us so we did have a lot of interesting conversations.

5. Understanding Cultural References

I took for granted knowing who the people on magazine covers were. Who the TV presenters were and the names of favorite TV shows, bands, and movies. When you are in another country you know nothing. It would be like not knowing who Tom Cruise or Arnold Schwarzenegger are. You just have no clue. When you are speaking in another language (which is hard enough) this makes it more difficult to know what’s going on.

Of course, with time you pick some of these things up. Some you never will. Like commercials from the third grade everyone remembers. This isn’t life or death and doesn’t matter much, but it did seem to highlight itself during times of homesickness. It was just a little reminder I was trying to feel at home somewhere I wasn’t really at home.

“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.” Jodi Picoult

I hope this post didn’t come across as American superiority or whiney. I have been blessed to have lived in other exciting places. They have shaped me and made me who I am today! But living far from home (even in another country) is tough. I know it’s tough because I’ve one it and because I read your precious emails, many of you who are far from family and in the most interesting and exotic of places.

Since returning home, I’ve tried to settle the kids in. Start traditions. Movie nights and other things they will remember with fondness. In my opinion, it is the little things that mean the most. I appreciate the hard and the good of being far from family and near it. And at the end of the day I suppose the best option is this.

To bloom where you are planted.

I was so excited to partner with Manwich for this post as I grew up with Billy Madison (yes, don’t pretend you don’t know) and sloppy joes. Manwich has no meat (for those who avoid that), and can be used in meatloaf (another super American meal), dips and appetizers, and even as a taco sauce. There are a lot more recipes here, on Manwich Monday Recipes. If you’d like to institute a Manwich Monday in your home, check out the ConAgra Foods Site to find out where Manwich is sold near you.

There are three different Manwich flavors, Manwich Original (our favorite because of Memory Taste), Manwich Bold, and Manwich Thick & Chunky. They’re known for their sweet and tangy taste, and you can read more about their products here. If you are a tweeter, you can also Follow Manwich on Twitter. Or if you prefer email updates, Sign-up for ReadySetEat eNewsletter.

Giveaway

Manwich is going to give away a prize package. All you have to do to enter is visit this recipe site then tell me your favorite recipe! It includes:

3 different varieties of Manwich (the three mentioned above)
a $50 gift card to buy everything you need for your recipe
stainless steel sauce pan
a branded spoon and tote

Plan your year ahead with these no fuss tips

Plan your year ahead with these no fuss tips.

no fuss tips to plan your year ahead including free printables

A New Year is upon us and it’s time to get started preparing. I often feel that days, weeks, and months pass me by as though I’m not in control of my own life if I haven’t properly planned. Being a stay-at-home-mom means most days look the same for me, to be honest.

Even so, each month brings new events, birthdays, and opportunities for adventure with the family. If you are not a spontaneous person at heart (I know I’m not) then there will likely be events, activities, and vacations that do not happen for your family simply because they weren’t put into effect in advance.

Also… life has a way of becoming busy even when we didn’t plan for it. One person requests a favor, you sign up for a committee, go on a few play dates a week and – before you know it – you feel frazzled. You’re exhausted. It seems that everything is happening to you instead of feeling like you’re an active participant in your own life.

By planning – or at least planning to plan – certain events into your year you can avoid overwhelm and actually be sure that there are things on your calendar for your family to look forward to. And – most importantly to me – I am able to have a clear view of the year ahead and what to expect which actually helps me commit to less. I see months that are going to be busy and, when those months approach, I find it a lot easier to say “Sorry, but no.”

Read: How to be a reasonable person

Here are some areas we can plan for that will help make the year more organized and less overwhelming.

1. Birthdays

It’s one thing to remember someone has a birthday. It’s another thing to be ready with a card, gift, or party ideas for said birthday. By having a list, birthday book, or pre-filling out your planner or calendar with birthdays you can be ahead of the game. One year my goal was to have birthday cards or gifts bought for everyone in a given month by the end of the first week.

Instead of thinking, “Oh no, we’ve missed cousin’s birthday” again, there was an opportunity to actually give a more thoughtful gift. This works well if you have family who live far away so you can account for time in transit.

Family Practices & Contribution

Sticky Routines System

Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

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2. Vacations

While you can sometimes find last minute deals worth the wait, most vacations simply don’t materialize if they aren’t planned in advance. Not to mention how much you can save by booking accommodation and activities in advance scouring for deals. Take a look at your calendar after you’ve filled in basic holidays and birthdays, and slot in your proposed vacations.

Depending on your destinations of choice, you can choose the best time for each city. Skiing needs snow. Beach trips need heat. Weekends away can be slotted in where there are public holidays or months with few other events in place. Not only will you end up with more time away, you will avoid stress of last minute planning.

Travel Planning Kit

3. Events and Activities

You likely already know of upcoming weddings, family reunions, or conferences for the year. Putting them into the yearly calendar will help you see your year at a glance. It’ll also help you determine other needs such as shopping, booking babysitters, or saving for gifts and other expenses.

If possible, try to limit the amount of events you have within the month unless you really thrive on social events and going out. If you’re like me (and I hope you aren’t) then knowing you have several major events in a short time period is a trigger for stress.

Event planner printable (good if you are planning events)

4. Yearly appointments

Doctors, dentists, and specialists often book your follow-up appointments a fairly long time in advance. Fill your calendar in with bi-yearly or yearly dentist appointments, check-ups, or routine tests and exams so you’ll have a snapshot of the year. If you don’t stay at home with the kids you’ll need to know in advance to take off work or arrange afternoon childcare.

Appointments printable

Financial planning and budget binder

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

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5. Major expenditures

A new roof, a new car, renovations, or major surgeries are examples of major expenditures that will need to be budgeted and planned for. By looking ahead at the year in advance you can determine which months you can afford to do certain things, and also develop a realistic budget to make ends meet without having to make bad financial decisions just to get things done.

Awesome planning printables (all free)

I wrote this post last year, but wanted to publish it again and bring it forward as part of my Get a Grip on Your Life series.

https://amotherfarfromhome.com/tag/get-a-grip-on-your-life/

How To Be A Reasonable Mother In The Modern Generation

It’s hard not to be a perfectionist, too busy, over anxious, and stressed. Find out how to be a more reasonable person and live free.

Every meal should be from scratch.

The kids’ clothes should be fashionable and pressed.

The house should always be company ready, or nearly so.

I should have good hair, full makeup, and a cute outfit. All in the same day.

The kids will be quiet, studious, and obedient most of the time.

I should be able to get up multiple times a night and still be chipper in the morning.

Well, I could go on and on and on, but it goes against my new lease in life. To be a reasonable person. I mean, we are all real life women, right? Moms who want the best for our kids, our families, and others. Moms whose expectations and standards have risen to such a point that we have become… I’ll say it… unreasonable.

If you are deep in overwhelm and need to brainstorm to Get Out then try this overcoming overwhelm packet. It’ll give you big changes quickly!

Last Sunday my pastor read a chapter and this verse stood out to me. I realized in one lightbulb moment, somewhere along the way… I’ve become unreasonable. Mostly with myself. But also with my family.

“Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.” Philippians 4:5 ESV

I won’t wax on about it because I don’t want anyone to feel insulted (but if you are, I’m writing to myself as well so shake it off). To be blunt, we really need to get a grip on ourselves. Our thoughts. Our expectations, standards, and neuroses. We need to come back down to earth and give ourselves a break. Cut ourselves some slack. Work hard on important things and stop stressing over the stupid ones.

Reasonable (adj): having sound judgment, fair and sensible

Here’s how I believe you can be reasonable people this year.

Stop saying yes when you mean no | No one wants to make promises they don’t keep, or promises that make them crazy trying to fulfill. Then why do we do it? To people please. Because we feel false guilt. Because it’s just hard to let our “no” be a “no.” This year, let’s kindly accept that which we can do, and kindly decline that which we can’t. You might like this book, The Best Yes.

Quit expecting yourself to be perfect | You probably don’t expect other people to be perfect. And yet, you expect yourself to do it all well and have energy leftover. It can’t happen and you weren’t meant to. Give your best effort to your endeavours, work hard to show you care, and don’t be lazy with your responsibilities. But forget about being perfect. It is an impossible and torturous goal.

Family Practices & Contribution

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

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Quit majoring in minors | When you spend a lot of time and energy worrying about, focusing on, or stressing over things that are not important, you are majoring in a minor issue. Major in the majors, minor in the minors.

Develop realistic expectations of yourself | If you think you can maintain all your hobbies, friendships, and responsibilities pre-motherhood now that you have a few children and all the responsibilities of a wife… you are wrong. There are seasons of life and in each season, you add new things and let old things go. You cannot do it all.

Don’t spend money you don’t have | I understand the fear that causes us to buy things we can’t afford or don’t really need. “But it saves money in the long run...” or “The kids just really needed it…” Does it? Do they? There is something truly freeing in living by a budget, whatever size, and staying within your means.

Give yourself permission to walk away | If you are consumed with relationships or friendships that are toxic, destructive, and emotionally unhealthy then it’s okay to walk away. What that looks like in practice is up to you. You can love and pray for others without subjecting yourself to their drama. Read this book on boundaries and take heart.

Look at life like a video, not a photo | Type B people tend to view life as a video clip, which is why they don’t stress as much. It’ll get done, don’t worry be happy. Type A people see life as a photograph. If it is not done, in this very instant, then get out of the way and shut up until it’s finished. If Type B’s could be a tad more like Type A’s and Type A’s could be a tad more like Type B, the balance would suit us all.

No Nag Chore Routines

Getting kids to do chores shouldn’t be a daily battle. Let me help you build a simple, age-appropriate system that teaches independence, teamwork, and responsibility—without constant micromanaging. Because a well-run home isn’t about doing it all yourself.

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Stop expecting others to do things you know they won’t do | If your husband has never in his life cooked dinner and here you are, 5 years in, disappointed every few nights he won’t help, erase that expectation. Don’t expect immature friends to be drama free. Don’t expect your children to be perfect all the time. Lowering (or erasing) expectations seems like the death of a dream, but really it’s the death of disappointment.

Get a thicker skin | It’s a sad day when everyone is offended all the time. If you give others too much power over your own happiness, you will feel perpetually offended and insecure. Other people say and do things because of their own values and issues. By learning to think and say, “That’s your problem, not mine” you will find much more emotional energy. Oh and if you know feeling offended is a real problem for you, read the Bait of Satan.

Loosen your schedule | It is likely your routines and schedules are too right. Down to the minute no room with little margin for real life. If something unexpected comes up, well, it’s enough to cause a mild panic attack. We need to leave room in our days for the unexpected. Expect there to be disturbances. Not wind our lives so tight around our calendar we view adventures as ordeals.

Quit looking, start doing | Social media, Pinterest, Google, these things are great. Unless you spend hours reading, researching, and planning without ever doing. You see everyone else’s vacation yet you take none. You pin a million recipes but don’t ever bake. You watch videos of cats but don’t go to the pound and get your own. Let’s start living our lives off internet. We will not be disappointed.

These things seem like good old fashioned (un)common sense. And yet, you and I fall back into unreasonable behavior time and time again. And let’s be honest… we are the ones who suffer the most. Instead of creating a million resolutions we feel guilty about that were too pie in the sky to begin with, just have one.

And when you feel yourself drawn back into your own web of overwhelm and worry, tell yourself this.

“I will no longer argue with the senseless and unreasonable; for they are void of reason and common sense.” S. Kassem

For all my Get a Grip on Your Life posts, click this link or on the image below.

What “having it all together” really looks like

what it really looks like to have it all together

There are two types of moms. Okay, fine, there are a million types of moms. But stick with me.

Type 1: The mom who appears to have it all together.

Type 2: The mom who envies the mom who appears to have it all together.

But I have a secret for you. Even Type 2 moms are Type 1 moms. And Type 1 moms don’t really have it all together. Because “all” is subjective and even if it wasn’t, it’s impossible. You might not think the house is clean unless the ceiling fan blades have been dusted. Your neighbor might think her house is clean if there is no curdled cereal milk left in the sink.

This is what it really looks like to have it all together.

6:30 am | Mom wakes up, surveys clean house, has a fancy cuppa with a Instagram-worthy mug, and does her morning devotion on Gratitude. All is well and right.

(If someone came over right now, Life is Good)

7:30 am | Kids wake up. Diaper leaking episode means all bedding comes out of crib and toddler needs a change. Before the diaper gets on, toddler leaves to go find a missing tractor. As mom is putting things away, preschooler asks for help with her heavy comforter. Other preschooler refuses bedmaking. Everyone but said recalcitrant child goes down to breakfast. Recalcitrant child declares a bed making standoff and decides to wait mom out and fast so he does not have to make his bed.

Loving Authority

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8:00 am | Toddler is naked, but the heat is on so this isn’t worth worrying about just yet. Baby is in high chair impatiently waiting for breakfast making fussy noises. Cooperative preschooler is singing a loud song. Mom is making oatmeal as fast as she can.

8:30 am | Recalcitrant preschooler turns a new leaf, makes his bed, and joins the family. He tries to take toddler’s tractor, both scream and fake ugly cry. Older sister covers her ears and yells, “It’s too too loud!” and the baby rubs banana onto his fuzzy head.

(If someone came over right now, Life is a Petting Zoo)

9:15 am | Baby goes down for a nap. Toddler and preschoolers watch an hour of cartoons. They are quiet, attentive, and still. Mom goes around straightening the insanely large mess they’ve made in the 1.5 hours they’ve been awake. House is now straight again, kids are silent, and mom can rest.

(If someone came over right now, What Lovely Children)

10:00 am | Time for the kids to play outside. The toddler is still naked and, coincidently, peed on the floor during TV time so mom cleans the floor and puts diaper and clothes back on toddler. Preschoolers dress in clothes that don’t match and barely fit to go outside. Daughter’s hair is tangled and matted but never mind. This is not public. Kids are outside playing, fighting, and throwing dirt at each other.

This is half fun, half torture for them and every 5 minutes one stands at the gate yelling, “Mommy, help!!” 3 out of 7 days per week, children take off all their clothes, turn on the water faucet, and run through the water screaming. Mom ignores the kids and does housework or online work while sipping Diet Coke.

(If someone came over right now, Call Child Services)

11:00 am | Independent room time. Kids need a lot of time to play on their own, particularly if they are tired of sharing toys. Each one goes off to their respective room with their toys. Toddler empties his toy chest and will resist cleaning up for 20 loud minutes. Daughter colors the only pair of shoes that fit her with a fountain pen. Preschooler has an accident in his pants that requires much cleanup.

(If someone came over when they are in their rooms playing happily, How Do You Do It?)

12:00 pm | Lunchtime. Plates are served, children come to table. “I wanted the middle plate.” “My spoon no blue.” “My brother is putting his foot on my stool.” Mom does not have time to eat. Toddler makes a valiant mess. Preschooler helps feed baby and spills it down his shirt and on the floor. Other preschooler has emotional meltdown about the smoothie situation. Kids are tired. Mom is On The Verge.

0-5, 6-12

Goodnight Bedtime Battles

This workshop will give you a simple, sanity-saving bedtime system that actually works—one that helps your kids wind down, fall asleep without endless stalling, and stay asleep (so you can finally get some rest).

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12:45 pm | Mom puts kids to nap one by one. Baby goes down easy with paci and mom thinks he, at least, is a keeper. Toddler wants 2 books and water from the Mickey Mouse cup and only the Mickey Mouse cup which, in a cruel twist of fate, has disappeared. Preschooler wants daddy to put him to nap even though daddy is at work.

He then asks for a cuddle in bed before nap so mommy agrees and it is so dark and relatively quiet, she falls asleep for a minute. Then she puts her daughter in her room with books and dolls for rest time. She is so tired she collapses on the bed to take a power nap, then wakes up an hour later and opens her computer to do some work.

(If someone came over while all kids are in bed, You Are Supermom)

3:45 pm | Toddler has another earache and appointment so everyone must become presentable. Mom puts on real clothes, does her hair since she hasn’t washed it, and wears makeup to hide the blue bags under her eyes. Mom chooses daughter’s clothes and she gets ready. Mom picks out matching shirts for the boys and realizes they are so wrinkled from sitting in the hamper for 2 weeks she must iron them.

Christmas Shopping Tips When You’re Far from Loved Ones

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

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Baby is crawling around trying to eat night lights. Toddler is streaking through the house laughing like a maniac. Preschooler attempts to dress himself, but is a perfectionist and spends 5 minutes crying over the state of his socks. Everyone is now dressed. Mom spends 20 minutes trying to get everyone into van. Breaks out into a sweat. Tells herself she’ll never leave the house with everyone again.

4:30 pm | Arrives at appointment. Children are happy to be out of the house and well-behaved because for some reason they always well-behaved in public. Kids read car magazines from waiting room table. Daddy arrives to help mommy with All the Kids. Doctor sees toddler, prescribes antibiotics, and tells mother well done for her sweet little family. Mother takes kids to store to pick up a few things and sees many people. Kids are no longer naked, in pajamas, wearing matted hair, or covered in their own bodily fluids as they were most of the day.

(If someone saw her now, She Has It All Together)

5:15 pm | Everyone is fussy and cranky and loud. Mom turns up the radio to drown out the noise. Daughter wants the radio to station 2, preschooler doesn’t want toddler to sing, baby wants applesauce. Arriving home, moms opens van doors and asks the kids to come inside. Kids want to pretend to drive the van and open/close the doors. Mom comes outside, gives evil eye and puts hand on hip.

5:30 pm | Makeshift dinner of baguette, cheese, fruit and dip is on the table. Everyone eats or refuses to eat. Nana arrives and says she’ll help with bathtime. This is lucky, otherwise they’d stay dirty. Kids eat some, talk, sing, fight, then eat some more.

6:00 pm | Kids find renewed energy. They take off their clothes and run around hiding, tackling each other, and having picnics with the play kitchen. Oldest three get in bath. They splash water on each other, on the floor, then scream as loud as they can because it makes a nice echo. Mom gets baby ready for bed. The house is a total tip. The kitchen is full of crumbs and dishes. The noise level is at a daytime high.

(If someone came over right now, This is Why I Only Had One Child)

6:30 pm | Mom feeds and puts baby to bed and thinks they are all so perfect before they can talk. She closes her eyes, lays on the bed, and repeats to herself “In five years they can all put themselves to bed.” Daddy puts toddler to bed at his insistence, reading two books, and finding the mysterious Mickey Mouse cup. Toddler is in bed then starts screaming “mommy mommy to bed mommy to bed” so he gets a big cuddle.

Two preschoolers want a nice long story and books. Mommy and daddy divide and conquer. Hugs, kisses, teeth brushing, but only with the Thomas Toothpaste, and tucking in occurs. Hearts are overflowing with love and joy and, now, relief. Kids go to sleep. Mommy does an evening sweep and the house looks tidy again.

(If someone came over right now, Honestly, You’re Amazing)

7:30 pm | Mommy blogs about keeping a tidy house, raising obedient toddlers, and how to get a grip on your own life. You know, since she’s the expert.

This post was inspired by my mother who – after cleaning my entire house – said I should be more vulnerable lest anyone think I truly have it all together at all times. And you know what, mama is always right.

Our Christmas Decorating Traditions

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of NABISCO Cookies and Crackers. All opinions are 100% mine. I am a fan of these simple Christmas decorating traditions as well.

Christmas has always been a fun time of year, never more so than with children underfoot.

Mine are young enough they don’t associate Christmas with a lot of presents yet, so we’re just enjoying reading Christmas books and talking about Santa.

I’ve talked about it here in my post Is Santa Real?, but the kids still have fun pretending there’s a Santa even when they know he isn’t real. It can happen.

While we’ve lived in 3 continents over the length of our 6-year marriage, there are some traditions we’ve started and tried to keep throughout that I now really enjoy.

Here are some of the things we do to decorate Christmas each year that make life more festive:

Even when Christmas isn’t hosted at our home (and it won’t be this year), I love to make the house festive and welcoming.

It’s a better setting to watch the 12,567,356 Christmas movies I’ve saved on Netflix…

A real Christmas tree

For the 34 years I’ve been alive, I’ve never had a fake Christmas tree. I see they are easier to decorate and beautiful, but I’ve lived in the sticks most of my life and that’s not how we roll.

We usually go to a Christmas tree farm in our town the first or second week of Christmas and bring home a 6 ft. tall tree. We look for a tree whose branches aren’t flimsy and one without big holes or gaps.

This is harder than you’d think. Also, cedar makes my arms break out.

When arriving home, the best thing you can do before putting it into the tree stand is slicing another thin layer off of the trunk then immediately putting it into the water.

This will help it soak up more water and live longer without becoming brittle. Either way, you’ll be vacuuming up needles.

Reindeer and lights

For as long as I can remember, my grandmother put up reindeer (or just deer really) in front of the house with Christmas lights on them. Now we do it and love it!

We use the big chunky colored Christmas lights and a spotlight to shine on them.

This is a photo of the kids from last year helping put them up. I’d love to get into the tradition of lighting up a huge portion of the house, but we don’t have the margin for that right now.

Anything that requires a few adults outside doing something means the kids are unsupervised and, well, that doesn’t end well.

A fabric Christmas tree

Years ago, I purchased this large piece of fabric with a glow in the dark Christmas tree on it. I sewed a plaid piece of garland for it and pinned it and now, voila, another Christmas tree.

It actually gives me a shock when I go to the bathroom during the night and see it in the hall since it glows, but I love it. I bought it after seeing someone create a giant advent calendar using it.

Stockings (even without a mantle)

Even when we had no mantle (in Australia) I hung Christmas stockings.

It just didn’t seem like Christmas without it. Currently, we use stockings I made from this tutorial a few years ago and they are still beautiful.

This year the kids will just get socks in their stockings. I know, mean mom. But they get excited about things like Frozen or Cars socks, so who am I to up the ante.

A pretty table setting

There is a fine line here. One year I created a fairly elaborate table setting with chargers on chargers and plates and every time we sat down to the table we all got annoyed.

Now, I like to have a simple runner or place mats with a centerpiece.

This means you aren’t shuffling things everywhere for breakfast, but can still enjoy a nice table. In years to come when the children aren’t so little this may change, but for now it works.

A Christmas recipe

A few weeks ago we had a Christmas meal at a friend’s and I made this Cranberry Apple pie. You can get the entire recipe here, but it’s simple.

You slice 6 large apples into thin slices, cook the apples and cranberries in butter until soft. Then you add a sugar, flour, and cinnamon mixture until it’s melted and evenly coated, then add it to the Honey maid Graham pie crust. After it’s cooked, you add a whipped topping and there you go!

How to Set Your Children Up For Financial Success

It’s easy to save money for the kids when there is lots of money to go around, but harder when the budget is tight. Here are a few easy things you can do now, even for your kids as young as babies, to help get them started on the right financial footing.

This post is sponsored by Regions Bank. All opinions are my own.

Here are some ways to set your kids up for financial success even if you don't have a lot of money right now.

When my husband and I were engaged and read The Marriage Book together, one of the sections was on how we (and by extension the families we grew up in) related to money. Whether we took it seriously or spent it freely. It also gave us a good opportunity to talk about how we wanted to treat money within our home.

Luckily, both my husband and myself are savers. That is, when we have surplus to save. Money is no guarantee of happiness nor can we take it with us, but how you handle your money is a reflection of your character and values.

I’ve written before on leaving an inheritance for your children’s children, and we know it isn’t all about money. That said, it’s a parent’s privilege to serve their family and others by giving and helping.

Basically, no money equals no options.

My husband has been a perpetual student, so I’m not writing this from a gold-plated office chair. I’m writing this from the perspective of a woman who manages to run an extremely tight budget so we are able to put things where we believe they need to go.

Here’s how we are approaching money with respect to our children and their own financial futures.

Open a bank account now.

My children all get their own bank account when they’re born. It may only have $15 in it, but it’s a start. This was my mother’s idea, and already there is money growing in each account. Family members often gift money to the kids, and since they are still young we don’t waste it on candy. We save it.

By having a bank account you routinely monitor, you’re motivated to

Family Practices & Contribution

Parenting on the Same Page

You and your co-parent (spouse, ex, step, etc.) won’t always see eye to eye—but that doesn’t mean parenting has to feel like a constant battle. This workshop will help you communicate clearly, find common ground, and handle disagreements without drama, so you can focus on raising great kids instead of fighting over the details. Because parenting differences are normal, but constant conflict doesn’t have to be.

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See a financial advisor about college.

We spoke to an advisor recently about college, but haven’t decided our course of action. I read a post from a mother of 6 who said they are not aiming to save fully for each child’s college because they’d never retire. They are, instead, going to help them apply for scholarships or find other opportunities (like ROTC or National Guard) to help their children get through college.

Depending on when you start, your income, and how many children you have, find a realistic plan for how you’ll help your children get through college if they decide to go. And rest assured, some options refund your money if your child decides to pursue job outside the college career path. Also, your children can work, so don’t feel nervous if you know saving a huge amount is out of your budget.

Put away a little every month.

I haven’t done this in a year for budgeting reasons, but I used to put $30 in each of the children’s accounts on payday. It was a small amount, but added up before you knew it. Even if you can only do $5 or $10, use online banking to quickly transfer a small amount to the children’s accounts as a matter of discipline. As your income increases, so can your contributions. At this rate, their first car can be easily bought and paid for.

Think about an allowance/savings system for your kids.

I read this post by Sharla, and we decided we wanted to adopt a very similar system in our household. It goes like this, of all the money that comes in, 10% is tithed, 45% is saved, 45% is to be spent. By tithing 10% of all money, they learn to give. By saving 45% they’ll learn to save. By having 45% to spend, they’ll learn to manage money.

My oldest is still 4 so they aren’t used to receiving a lot of money for holidays or birthdays, but this is our plan now. The saved money will go into their accounts and help pay for things like a car, insurance, or investments. This means that even if they aren’t getting a ton of money throughout their childhood, they’ll still have some savings racked up.