Mom Routines

An 18 Month Routine for Energetic Toddlers

Do you have an energetic and super cute 18 (ish) month old? Here’s an awesome sample 18 month schedule or routine for toddlers.

My newborn and 4 children under 4 schedules were a huge hit (and you may want to read my summer schedule for kids) so here’s an 18 month old sample schedule.

I have a dear friend who is far more laid back than myself, and she told me even she likes to look at schedules though she doesn’t really keep one!

Ha.

Love the honesty and self-awareness!

Read: Is Your 1-Year-Old Wearing You Out? Try These Simple Activities

eighteen month old girl smiling at camera and reaching

But honestly, I see the appeal. It’s good to know how others fill their day and what their kids get up to.

When you’re home all day with kids it can feel isolating and you begin to wonder if you’re the only one who spends 20 minutes making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or picking up hundreds of elastic bands because your daughter tried to rainbow loom even though she (nor you) know how to do that.

Read: The Tried-And-True 1 Year Old Sleep Schedule

After you’ve read the post, watch this video on considerations for your 1 year old sleep schedule.

Sample 18 month routine

So here’s the basic routine I’ve had all my kids on. As soon as they dropped their morning nap, around 18 months, they all followed a similar schedule to this until they were 2 years old and even higher.

Some babies drop naps a lot earlier than 18 months and some will continue to have two naps. In my experience, I think that 18-month-olds can generally go with one nap, but still need a bit more sleep than their older siblings.

Read: When Babies Go To One Nap (A Step By Step Guide)

Get your toddler to follow their own routine without nagging by using these printable routine cards.

7:30 – 7:45 am – wake up + breakfast
8:30 – 9:30 am – free play, outside time
9:30 – 10:30 am – structured play, activity, more purposeful time
10:30 – 11:15-11:30 am – independent play time with age appropriate toys (why it’s important kids play on their own)
11:30 am – 12:15 pm – outside time, free play
12:15 pm – lunch
1:00 pm – nap
3:30 – 4:00 pm – wake up from nap and have a snack
4:00 – 5:30 pm – free play, screen time (for older siblings), outside time
5:30 – 6:00 pm – dinner
6:00 – 6:45 pm – bath, get on pajamas, wind down
6:45 – 7:00 pm – read books, pray, sing
7:00 pm – bed

An important thing to point out here, before we go any further, is that appropriate times can account for a lot. They can account for over-tiredness and even bedtime battles.

Having an age appropriate routines makes all the difference.

Read: 5 Truths About Parenting Toddlers — That We Tend To Forget

Structured Time

I use this term loosely to mean that I engage with the kids on purpose. Sometimes we do any type of preschool curriculum and other times we color or play with play dough.

It could be as simple as lining up pillows and running across them or a specific craft. I don’t take on any pressure or guilt about this, but try to engage them in things at their level they find enjoyable.

Read: Why Kids Need Independent Play Times Daily

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Sticky Routines System

Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

Start Now

Outside Time

We live on an acreage now so we decided to build a fairly large enclosed area where the kids could play without me worrying they were going to fall into the pond or pool or walk onto the road.

Often outside time consists of all the kids playing outdoors together while I am inside working or doing something else.

Read: The Crucial Elements of a Rock-Solid Toddler Schedule

Maybe we’ll play red rover, go water all the trees and plants in the garden, or feed the fish in the pond. I like for them to be outside as much as possible for as long as possible.

We have a lot of toys like this that can take a beating and, when used up, thrown away. See tips for toddlers outside.

Screen Time

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics… 18 months old don’t really need any screen time. With my oldest we never did, the younger kids in our family often filter in and out of the room while the TV is on so that’s what I’m going by.

In my 4 under 4 schedule you’ll note we used to watch TV first thing in the morning when I was in late pregnancy and when I had a newborn.

It wasn’t ideal, but it was what I needed to happen to cope and that’s fine. Now, with my youngest just turned 3 months, I’ve shifted TV time to after the nap.

This is screen time + learning.

Read: A Foolproof Sample Daily Schedule For Toddlers

18-month-olds are fun but they’re also a lot of work. Here is a recap:

Choose a routine that you can maintain every day. One that isn’t too strict nor too lose that the days feel chaotic.
Teach your child to follow their own routine. I do this by using printable routine cards as shown here.
Be consistent, but flexible. Things like sicknesses and appointments will happen so anticipate them.

Connection & Culture

13-18, 6-12

No-Drama Screen Wean

Cutting back on screens shouldn’t feel like a battle royale. This workshop gives you a simple, realistic plan to wean your kids off devices—without meltdowns, whining, or “I’m bored” on repeat. Because screen time limits should feel doable, not dreadful.

Start Now

The Key to a Good Routine

This may be so simple it goes without saying… but the key to a good routine is keeping the routine. It can be tricky to remember everything in order when you’re beginning, but once you get the hang of it, routine will be second nature.

It can seem very difficult to get started doing or keeping a routine when you do not have one at all. Here are some ways you can learn to keep your routine.

Hang the routine up!

If need visual help remembering the routine and want to teach your toddler to follow the routine at the same time (so you don’t have to nag) I recommend using our routine cards (seen below) or something similar you can whip up at home.

You hang them up in the appropriate room (bedroom for morning routine, bathroom for bath routine, kitchen fridge for mealtime routine, etc.) and then use them to help your child learn independence and self-regulation.

Set alarms or reminders on your phone

While you don’t need to live and die by the clock, setting your phone, watch, or a timer will help you keep aware of routine transitions.

We can often get so wrapped up in what we’re doing we forget and we’re an hour or two past nap time and now they’re having trouble going down.

I set alarms on my phone that show on my watch and this works for us.

Practice

As with anything, if you want something to work then work it. Keep pushing what you’ve decided to do. If it doesn’t work then change it up a bit and keep going. Move forward.

I assure you 100% that a routine will work if you keep at it.

Want Routine Printables to hang up?

We use these in our home and my Kindergartner even uses them to help herself get ready each morning. My son is looking forward to hanging his in his room as well.

These will help you point out what your child should do without always issuing commands and – you may be surprised – how much more cooperative your child becomes when they can see what’s next.

Get your own printable routine cards here!

printable routine cards for toddlers and preschoolers

Sources:

Can an 18-month-old recognize a routine?

Yes, by 18 months of age, many children are capable of recognizing and understanding routines to some extent. While they will not fully grasp the concept of time or the specifics of a schedule, they can begin to anticipate and respond to regular activities that occur in their daily lives. Routines provide a sense of stability, predictability, and comfort for young children.

What are the benefits of a daily routine for an 18-month-old?

A routine provides a sense of predictability and security for young children. Knowing what to expect throughout the day can help reduce anxiety and build a sense of comfort, as they become familiar with the sequence of events. Routines also break up the day (for everyone!) and help kids engage in a variety of activities to help in skill, language, and cognitive development.

Can an 18-month-old follow the same daily routine as their siblings?

While certain routines and activities can be synchronized, some accommodations may have to be made to ensure that the younger child’s specific needs are met. Some considerations include: nap and sleep schedules, meal/snack times, and age appropriate activities, etc .

Most Moms Forget About These Personal Needs. You Shouldn’t!

In the rush of day-to-day activities, moms can become like machines. We can sometimes forget to meet our personal needs. Have you ever noticed the following things slipping?

What’s that old saying?

We have needs we often don’t know about until it’s too late.

Maybe we ignore our exhaustion until we burnout. We ignore our body’s twinges and signals until we have adrenal fatigue or an autoimmune disorder. The bills don’t seem that urgent until we’re in debt.

I could go on.

Mothers are often so focused on everyone that they forget about themselves.

But not you. You don’t need to ignore your needs until you crash.

Moms sometimes forget the basics.

Part of mothering means that we have to always think of the needs of our babies. And yes, sometimes (ahem… all the time) they come first.

It’s crazy to think about, but often times the needs of our children are prioritized even above our own basic needs.

You know, those basic needs that allow us to function.

Bathroom needs: Weird to say, but as moms will often just put off going to use the bathroom. We ignore our bodily needs and get in the habit of it, then the minute they sit down we have to pee.

Nutrition needs: I have been guilty of this. Have you ever gone all day and realized that you made nutritious meals for the kids, but only had chocolate and a cup of coffee?

Social needs: We plan playdates for the kids and organize their schedules to best suit their social needs. However, we often neglect to plan things that will benefit us… even though it can be necessary for our sanity.

Moms sometimes forget their personal needs.

Don’t neglect the need for solace.

The need to be alone is not a bad thing.

Let me say that again… wanting to be alone is not a bad thing. Moms have busy, high strong jobs. It’s taxing and exhausting.

Quit guilting yourself into shame because you want to be alone. Solace is a safe place for a mom to reflect, unwind, detox, and clarify.

Having a peaceful escape from the day-to-day is not only helpful, but often necessary.

Plan a time in your day to have some alone time.
Don’t spend this time “scrolling.”
Discover a calming hobby or go back to doing something you loved to do before kids.
You could always just sleep.

Sometimes mothers drown in the chaos.

Staying on top of things may seem impossible right now. Many moms feel that same way. Honestly, things in life just aren’t perfect when kids are around, and that’s ok.

However, there is a threshold of chaos that someone can personally judge for themself.

Some people have a high threshold for accepting chaos, while others need things more orderly.

Either way, when that level of chaos happens, it affects us. Everything goes to pot and we feel like we’re drowning. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Stay on top of your chaos with an evening sweep. If this is done nightly, things don’t ever get the chance to get beyond repair.

Read These While You’re At It

5 Daily Habits For Kids That Makes Your Life Easier

8 Things To Do The Same Time Every Day, Every Week

Evening Routines for Moms That Erase Stress and Give Peace

Mom Morning Routines: Bring Order & Sanity To Your Day True or False: If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy

Mothers can easily become over-obligated.

One of the easiest ways to be stressed out is to over-obligate yourself. Motherhood is a job in itself, but moms can forget their basic needs when they find it hard to say, “No.”

Helping others in need/want.
Being “voluntold” to cook for, serve, or set up.
Being involved in the caregiving or childcare of family/friends.
Running unnecessary errands.

It’s hard to turn people down when they are asking for your time, but sometimes it’s necessary. Think of it like this- you are making the adult choice to use your time wisely.

Moms can forget to honor their boundaries.

Boundaries are often first on the list of things that leave when moms forget to meet their personal needs. The truth is boundaries not only help mom with all things, but also keep the kids balanced.

Family rules
Personal space
Quality time
Morals/Values
Order
Cleanliness
Non-negotables

Boundaries just make good sense.

When we, as moms, keep good boundaries it serves us well. We become calmer, more organized, and able to meet the kids of our kids better.

Boundaries keep mom happy. It’s that simple. And… if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Unusual Mom Burnout Symptoms That Are Quite Common

Mom burnout is a reality. Don’t brush it aside or sweep it under a rug. Take these symptoms into consideration and recognize if you have a need. You deserve to be healthy, happy, and enjoying every moment of this season of motherhood.

We often experience burnout long before we realize it.

At times when I’ve been at my worst, I lived in a twilight state of lala land. In some type of traumatic fog where I seemed to be floating in the sky… and yet everyone needed dinner and I had to cook it.

I think you can relate. Burnout is hard to heal because it requires time and energy and time and energy are usually on lo supply which is why we end up in burnout.

But there’s hope, so let’s dive into the weird symptoms.

Chronic Stress & Exhaustion

This is just like the workplace syndrome called burnout.

First of all, motherhood is a full time job in itself. But consider the mom who also works outside the home… and then comes home to “work”. There’s absolutely no room for resting and recharging.

You may be experiencing mom burnout if you’re chronically stressed and tired.

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom… you’re likely to experience mom burnout at some point. There’s no exact formula that causes it and no exact formula that fixes it. However, knowing the symptoms can help.

Living with a Short Fuse

For me, it’s a “sure fire” burn out situation when it doesn’t take anything for me to come unglued. Like, mental exhaustion and overwhelming emotions just pile up until BANG.

If you find yourself living in a continual state of short tempered outbursts…. it’s time to check your angry mom checklist.

Living with a short fuse is a sign that some things just aren’t working out for you. Maybe some minor (or major) adjustments need to be made to eliminate the mom burnout.

Your Emotional Bucket is Empty

Compassion, empathy, loving-kindness, etc…..

Do you find that you can’t seem to pull those things up naturally (like you used to)? This could be because you’re totally burnt out. It’s like this:

You can’t give to others when you are empty yourself.

Above all, taking some time each day to “refill” your emotional bucket is just necessary for a mother’s emotional sanity. I mean, you’re not a robot, right?

Losing Confidence in Yourself

Feelings of inadequacy are an inevitable part of motherhood. Scratch that.

It’s an inevitable part of “humanhood.” Is that a word?

I’m not talking about just the normal questioning your abilities, because we have all been there. When you’re experiencing mom burnout, your self-confidence can hit rock bottom.

You may find yourself:

Unable to make simple discussions.
Apologizing for unnecessary things.
Crying over “spilled milk.”
Making harsh accusations of others.
Questioning how others can love you.
Wanting to escape all the time.

Experiencing Regret

Regret can be a heathy way to deal with past mistakes. It can make us stronger and prevent us from going down “that road” again.

At any rate, when mom burn out is involved, regret can take on a darker form.

For some, regret can swallow you up in dark nights and hallow emotions. It can completely control thoughts, fears, and steal your joy.

Regret can be a thief.

Maybe something you said that nobody even remembers, but you do. It can even go as far as making you wish you never had children. I recommend talking with someone about these feelings. Don’t bottle them up and lose nights of sleep.

You’re not alone in this struggle.

Read These While You’re At It

5 Counter Intuitive Mindsets To Lessen The Stress Of Motherhood

5 Instant Stress Busters For Overwhelmed Moms

5 Signs You May Be A Depressed Mom–And How To Start Feeling Better

5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember

All You Want to Do is Run Away

We’ve all been there. It could be a little thing or a big thing that sets us off. You need to worry about mom burnout when you stay in this place of “flight”… or find yourself in this state often.

It’s time to set some boundaries and stick to them.

If you don’t feel safe in your own home, can’t relax because others are not allowing it, or feel like you’re a victim of your circumstances, it’s time to get boundaries.

I wrote a whole book on this.

Read These While You’re At It

Boundaries, Family Rules, & Strong-Willed Children… Oh My!

Boundaries: The Only Way To Stay Sane In Motherhood & Life

Strategies For Overwhelmed Moms Who Want To Escape Life

Shutting Yourself Off From Others

Isolation is not the answer. Don’t get me wrong, having alone time is necessary. This is true especially if you have an introverted personality.

Rest and re-charge is different than isolation.

Isolation is hiding from others because you’re emotionally detached and mentally drained. As moms, we get here because we close everything up inside. We blame ourselves for everything and continually take on the world alone.

Besides, having an outlet where you can vent, laugh, talk it out, and be around other (healthy and wise) adults is super important.

“Mombie” Symptoms Can Indicate Mom Burnout

Have you every went through a day (or maybe even a week) with no recollection of what happened?

Like “where did that time go” and “what did I even do?”

Yep… welcome to the “Mombie” life.

Sometimes when life gets so overwhelming, the way we cope is just by going through the motions. Like we’re on cruise control.

So, when you find yourself living in a mombie state continually, it may be time to pinch yourself. What can you do to break the time up some and find yourself again?

Your Health Deteriorates

Stress is not just a mental thing. It affects all areas of our life, including our physical health.

Your heart, lungs, brain, bodily functions, and even skin are affected by stress.

Being a mom is no joke. It’s like you’re in the trenches, really.

When you feel progressively worse physically….. unable to do what you used to do. And, you’re a mom- it’s probably related somehow. I’m not talking about being seriously ill and in need of a doctor.

Check these indicators:

How are you sleeping?
Have you taken your nutrition into consideration?
Having anxiety attacks?
Are you taking quiet time for yourself?
Did you drop your work-out routine?
How much time are you spending in fresh air?

Relationship Issues Arise

A disconnection from others whom you love is one of the hardest truths about mom burnout. It’s also one of the most devastating ones. It may be your relationship with your husband or with your children.

Likely, when you’re severely burned out, it affects all relationships except the ones you view as a lifeline to your sanity.

All I can say is try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It won’t always be this way.

Recognize that relationship issues can stem out of burn out. Dealing with the burnout can help the relationships. Shaming yourself for feeling bad, however, won’t help.

Extreme Highs & Lows and Indicate Mom Burnout

Emotional rage is absolutely no fun. And, experiencing extreme highs and lows can lead to many other issues.

So, if you find yourself swaying back and forth- it may be time to consider mom burn out. What can you do to balance your life back?

Take some time for yourself each day.
Pick up a hobby that brings you balance and joy.
Talk about how you’re feeling with someone who loves and cares.
Balance your diet and remove unnecessary sugars/caffeine
Set some healthy boundaries between you and your kids.
Seek out opportunities to show gratitude.

Don’t Put Off Sleep Training: Here’s Why!

Sleep training can seem like a daunting task. It’s a task that takes effort and intuition, but it’s worth it. Here are some tips to get started:

This post is for the tired mom out there who are wondering…

when should I sleep train and
is sleep training really traumatic for my baby?

It’s human nature to want the best result possible with as little effort as possible. In fact, that’s pretty much what efficiency is. Figuring out how to do as little as possible and still have a great result.

I agree with this because I’m exactly like this.

I’m not too lazy to do hard work, but too smart to work hard unnecessarily. Someone once said, a good strategy in life is to design for laziness.

This doesn’t mean to become a lazy bum.

Oh no…

It means doing the smart work beforehand so – when your lazy moment hits – you’ll already be reaping the benefits of hard work done.

Sleep training should be started as early as you can.

It’s a cleaning caddy in one place instead of supplies spread around the house.
Meal planning so you don’t have to get take out.
Automating your bills and giving so you don’t forget or overspend.
It’s sleep training early so you can reap the benefits later when you need it instead of taking shortcuts for a few moments’ rest.
It’s thinking about the result you want later, and doing it now.

This delayed gratification means the hard work comes first.

And then you’ll consistently reap the benefits for years to come.

Now, of course I’m not saying that mothers who don’t sleep train are lazy. I’m actually saying mothers who don’t sleep train are working harder than they have to.

I won’t give a timeline for sleep training since every situation is different, but I will say this. It will eventually have to be done and the older they get the harder the fight.

A major reason crying it out (or controlled crying) has a horrible reputation is that people wait until they have toddlers to sleep train.

At this age, the process can be highly traumatic for everyone involved. This is not usually the case with babies.

In fact, my youngest pretty much sleep trained from birth with minimal crying. I put him down when he was tired, he went to sleep, and that was that. And it’s not because he’s just perfect (which of course he is), it’s because sleep training works.

Read These While You’re At It

Coping When Others Don’t Support Your Baby Sleep Strategies

Daycare Won’t Rock Baby To Sleep? Here’s What To Do.

Is Sleep Training A Baby Bad Or Dangerous? Let’s Talk Facts!

The Difference Between Cry It Out (CIO) and Self-Soothing

Is Sleep Training Necessary? No. Also, Yes.

Know what sleep training is and what it isn’t.

Sleep training is teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own using their tiredness cues as a guide.

This might be gently rocking them until they’re drowsy but still awake, and putting them in their crib.
It is watching for signs of tiredness – eye rubbing, yawning, etc. – and putting them in their crib after kisses and cuddles to fall asleep on their own.
It might be following the 4 S’s (setting the stage, swaddling, sitting, shushing). It might mean waiting outside the door a few minutes while your baby settles into a nap.
Sleep training does not equal letting your baby scream for hours in a dark lonely room away from family to teach them some kind of lesson.
Sleep training is not depriving your child of time or contact with you.

I smother my babies with love and hugs and kisses and always have. Sleep training is not making your baby sleep when they don’t want to, it’s helping them get to sleep when they need to. If your children (whatever their age) are good sleepers you’ll agree.

Babies and children that sleep through the night are a blessing to everyone in the house.

Do you love them less if they’re up every hour? Of course not, how ridiculous. But why on earth do they need to be up every hour?

Don’t wait until they won’t nap.

Even with older children, nighttime sleep can usually be sorted within a week if you get down to business.

However, if you wait too long they may never get into a good napping routine- they may try to drop naps altogether earlier than they should, or fight tooth and nail to be put down.

Babies who are used to napping become toddlers who go to bed willingly. Not because you are threatening them with no candy, TV, or Lego. They do this because they know what it feels like to be tired, and it’s not as pleasant as being rested.

The earlier you get your children into a good napping routine the better nappers you’ll have. It’s great to have children who sleep all night. It’s even better to have children who sleep all night and take naps during the day.

Sleep train in a way that you are comfortable with.

Every mother is different, and there are more sleep training “methods” than can be talked about.

Some moms put their baby to sleep and return every few minutes if the baby cries, lengthening the time between trips.
Some mothers will rock their babies into a drowsy but slightly awake stage then put the baby in the crib and walk out.
Others might sit down with their babies, or some may lie down with them for a time, still allowing their babies to go to sleep on their own.

I don’t think it matters how you do it.

What’s important is that when possible you’re teaching your baby to fall asleep on its own.

Avoid props that turn into crutches.

A sleep prop is something your baby needs to sleep that eventually becomes a crutch.

Crutches may include…

breastfeeding your baby to sleep,
rocking to sleep, or
even a pacifier.

Some mothers won’t give their babies pacifiers for this very reason. We do pacifiers at the beginning of naps or nighttime, but don’t go in to reinsert it.

If your baby wakes up for the pacifier multiple times throughout the night, you know it’s time to send it back to the stork.

If your baby won’t take full naps or wakes frequently during the night looking for their “fix,” they have a sleep prop. Once you’ve identified the prop you can work towards removing it.

Peaceful sleep can happen with sleep training.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

If you’re feeling sleep deprived or dealing with a baby who seems to fight sleep, be encouraged.

There is a way forward and you can get there!

Our bodies are created for regenerative sleep. It’s a great thing, not torture. Babies and children enjoy being well-rested, and our job is to help them remain in that state on a regular basis.

Keep a close eye on your children’s sleep cues, and act quickly to make the window.

If you go in to soothe a baby that is being weaned from nighttime feeds, remember you feed them well during the day, and are working towards their well-being, not against it. Feed them well during the day and you’ll know they don’t need milk at night.

If your 20-month-old says they don’t need naps anymore, even though it’s obvious they’re tired, put them down anyway. Remember, it’s for their own good and they’ll probably wake up happy.

There’s no real right or wrong way to sleep train. I’d encourage you to start as soon as you are comfortable because the earlier you begin the sooner it’s finished. Likewise, the later you begin the harder they fight.

Even adults fight against what’s best for us at times.

Ezzo gave this quote referring to credit card parenting, but I think it applies here as well.

Read These While You’re At It

A No-Fuss Guide To Sleep Training (With Printable!)

12 Medical Reasons Your Baby’s Not Sleeping (With Symptoms Of Each)

2-Year-Old Sleep Regression – Common Signs & Guaranteed Solutions

7 Reasons Your Baby Still Wakes Up At Night – And What To Do

Hard Truth: Tired Moms Make For Fussier Kids (So Rest!)

It’s normal to go through phases of parenting that make us tired. However, living in perpetual tired mom mode isn’t good for anyone. In fact, it makes fussy kids. Here are some tips:

Wait…

You mean there are some mothers who aren’t perpetually exhausted?

Indeed, there are some moms peppered here and there who are energetic, happy and well-rested. But they don’t live with their kids….

Okay okay. While parenting is tiring it does not have to make a zombie out of you. It’s totally understandable that you’re a tired mom.

Tired mom lays in bed with baby and toddler.

We often set ourselves up to fail by habits and routines that contribute to our tiredness. When we are tired we…

pay less positive attention to our children,
they become more moody and disobedient, and
we forget to let enjoy them.

The Happy Cycle

This is a real thing- if you are happy, you pay positive attention to your kids. They receive the positive attention and they are happy. Therefore, they are happy. This causes you to be happy and be positive to them.

Everyone is happy and feelin’ the love.

A vague idealistic nutshell but I have found it to be true most of the time. When we are off I say, okay, I need to get us back on this happy cycle and fast. And after it has time to re-calibrate, we are good again.

However, it’s hard to feel happy when you’re exhausted.

You may be in a season where being tired is unavoidable:

The first few months of nighttime feedings.
How well your babies sleep at night will be a big deal.
When children are sick.
Routines can change and cause sleep schedules to shift.

Here are some tried and true tips to avoid over exhaustion and keep the happy cycle going:

Establish regular nap times.

Establish regular nap times for your young children. Be sure to rest when they do.

Even if you just lay down or crash on the sofa, get as much rest time as you can. Don’t just jump to action and wash dishes, vacuum, etc but rest.

If you feel rested you’ll have more energy for housework later anyway.

If your children are round 3.5 to 4 years old and want to drop their nap, institute “rest time.”
Have them sit in their room or on their bed with some books or quiet toys/activities and make them stay there for an hour or so alone resting.

This works well to prevent over tiredness on their part and to give you some time to yourself.

Read: Advice For New Parents That’ll Help You Rest And Relax (And Enjoy Baby)

Try not to start bad habits.

In the wise words of my grandmother “start out like you can hold out.”

If they are to the age where metabolically they can go 12 hours without feeding (around 4 months on average) then you can be sure they don’t need to feed 4 times between 8:30 and 7:30.

Letting children stay up late for a special event or two is normal, but letting bedtime creep later and later will only make everyone more tired and irritable.
TV before bedtime will mean they are overstimulated and won’t go to sleep well.

Obviously there will be times we take shortcuts, but try not to make the shortcuts the norm.

Read: The Nap Trap- How to Deal with It and Not Resist It

If you’re a tired mom, stay off the errand wagon.

I know there are things we need: groceries, toilet paper, clothes, diet coke. There are always reasons we can find to run errands.

At times it is perfectly necessary, but I try to avoid the habit of running errands daily or twice daily just to get out of the house.

Running errands, while feeling momentarily refreshing because we can look at something other than the mess our toddlers have created, will wear us out and leave us feeling more tired.

However, this may not apply to you if you’re an extrovert and errands include socializing.
Try running occasional errands when your husband or parents are around so you can do it solo.
Try to run a few days worth of errands in one go.

This way while you are at home if you put on a movie or supervise a game they are playing you can find more moments of rest.

Read: Most Moms Forget About These Personal Needs. You Shouldn’t!

Establish independent playtime.

From a very very young age (a few months) I establish independent playtime with my children.

As a 3 month old that may mean sitting in their bouncy chair looking out the window at nature, laying on a play mat and swatting the mobiles, etc.

Of course they are supervised, but the idea is that they are learning how to function without constant stimulus from you.

If they are never happy unless you are there making ugly faces and singing then you’re in for some hard yards later.

My now 17 month old will stay in her room for 45 minutes each morning playing happily with her toys.

It gives me time to myself to clean, rest, read, or simply organize my day. When independent play is over I’m ready to play with her.

Being needed constantly makes for a tired mom.

Paying constant attention to anyone other than ourselves is tiring.

It’s ultimately why you’re a tired mom.

But by thinking proactively and parenting with a strategy , we can be as rested as possible to make our home life as happy as possible.

True or False: If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy

It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. In fact, it’s what your family needs in order to run smoothly. Because we all know that If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

If mama ain’t happy- ain’t nobody happy.

This isn’t a threat.

It’s actually the truth. Let’s figure out why so we can make some changes.

If we’re not “OK,” all our effort goes to fixing it.

Nobody is really happy in the family if mom isn’t ok. This is because if moms is unhappy, she goes into fixing mode. If she is…

overwhelmed,
stressed,
in crisis mode, or
having some real issues going on

but maintains that mode of “gotta do what I gotta do” it can really weigh on her. It doesn’t stop even though all these things are happening (diapers, dinner, school, etc.). If mom isn’t ok… it’s still the main thing mom is using her energy on.

Mom is using all her energy to not explode on everybody.

All of her energy is being spend on maintaining an image of “okayness.” It’s like all of her energy is being used up on trying not to crumble or explode.

I’m not going to talk about how to be ok… check out my book for that. In this post, I want to get you to understand that it’s ok- not not be ok. Also, some reasons why you’re not.

If mama ain’t happy – all her mental energy goes into fixing it.

When we’re unhappy, we can’t be responsive to people’s needs.

If we’re not “ok,” you can’t really be responsive to the kid’s needs. This is a reminder that you have to start taking care of yourself.

If you notice that you’re not ok… let’s do something good about it.

We have to take care of ourselves because when we have unmet needs, we don’t have the space to help our kids with the things that are important to then.

Take for example, when you are stressed, anxious, worried, or upset- do you have the mental space to deal with your children’s needs when they are arguing over a little toy?

No! This is because we don’t have the space for their “little” issues with our “big” issues looming over us. This stops us from being responsive in the way that we want to.

We may loose our patience of get in the habit of creating a fake response. This happens when we find it hard to be present because of our own needs.

If we find it difficult to offer the normal/healthy responses to our kids needs, its an invitation for us to start taking better care of ourselves.

If mama ain’t happy – she can’t be as responsive as she wants to be.

Read: Taking A Social Media & Phone Reset For The New Year

Kids take it upon themselves to make mom happy.

When we’re perpetually unhappy, kids take it upon themselves to make mom happy. Now, we don’t really want this. Irregardless, it happens subconsciously.

Kids start to think, mom’s not ok…

I must have done something to make mom unhappy.
I’m going to go into overtime to try to make mom happy.

Kid’s start to take on this role on for themselves. So when we ignore our problems and pretend that everything is ok, we’re just making things worse.

The reality is that the kids know when wer’e not ok. They don’t buy the facade. It should be our responsibility, but the kids take it upon themselves. It’s not their burden. So…. they go into overdrive.

I’m not saying this so you will feel ashamed or beat yourself up. I want you to use this as an invitation to start taking care of yourself.

If mama ain’t happy – the kids stress out trying to help her.

Everyone feels like they have to walk on “eggshells.”

Nobody is really happy if mom is strung out. This is because they feel like they have to walk on eggshells around us.

When we completely put ourselves aside, our needs don’t go away. We can do out best to be the “positive parent” and pretend that we’re always happy… but they know.

Going back to my first point – we start to use all of our energy to maintain our facade. We may have a cheesy smile, but deep down inside it feels like we’re drowning.

Because of this, everybody feels like they have to be careful not to upset us all the time.

You’ve got to learn to take care of your spirit, soul, and body. I don’t want to make you feel bad but I want to reveal a pattern to you and help explain why it’s important to take care of yourself.

We don’t want our whole family walking on eggshells around us. Our family should be able to be themselves around us. Nobody should have to be doing the “stealth maneuver” around mom.

Now sometimes, situations lend themselves to this type of thing:

Maybe it’s a stressful life season.
A relationship crisis.
A health crisis.
We’re moving.
We’re pregnant or have a new baby.

Life will be life, and sometimes stressful situations will cause this to happen. It could even be a great thing that is going on. It if’s difficult it can cause stress for a determined amount of time. But, we want to be sure our emotions are in check for the season of life we are in.

If mama ain’t happy – everyone walks on eggshells.

It’s hard to stay focused on what matters.

We can’t really focus on loving and serving if we’re just miserable. It’s not possible for us to maintain a positive creative energy for our family if we’re unhappy.

It becomes a negative suck. Erasing and martyring yourself can actually make you more selfish. If we’re not ok, we’re trying to suck our being “okayness” from somewhere else.

I’ll start a hobby.
I’ll be happy if I start this new business.
It’s time to take on another job.
I start relying on others to make me happy.
Others become responsible for my mental “okayness.”
I’ll always be looking for someone to rescue me.

If mama ain’t happy – she can’t focus on what really matters.

You can pour into your spirit, mind, body and soul. And.. it isn’t selfish. You can take care of yourself.

You can do this! It isn’t just “take care of me.” It’s everyone’s needs on the table. How are we going to make them all work?

Go looking for your win/win.

How can you meet your needs and your kid’s needs at the same time? It may time some changing and re-working but you can totally do it!

Mom Routines

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Sample 18 month routine

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Structured Time

Outside Time

Screen Time

The Key to a Good Routine

Hang the routine up!

Set alarms or reminders on your phone

Practice

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Want Routine Printables to hang up?

Moms sometimes forget the basics.

Self-Care Routine Tracker

You know, those basic needs that allow us to function.

Don’t neglect the need for solace.

Sometimes mothers drown in the chaos.

Mothers can easily become over-obligated.

Daily Mom Routines Checklist

Moms can forget to honor their boundaries.

Chronic Stress & Exhaustion

Living with a Short Fuse

Angry Mom CHECKLIST

Your Emotional Bucket is Empty

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Losing Confidence in Yourself

You may find yourself:

Experiencing Regret

All You Want to Do is Run Away

Shutting Yourself Off From Others

“Mombie” Symptoms Can Indicate Mom Burnout

Tired Mom CHECKLIST

Your Health Deteriorates

Check these indicators:

Relationship Issues Arise

Daily Mom Routines Checklist

Extreme Highs & Lows and Indicate Mom Burnout

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

This delayed gratification means the hard work comes first.

Know what sleep training is and what it isn’t.

Don’t wait until they won’t nap.

Sleep train in a way that you are comfortable with.

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Avoid props that turn into crutches.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

28 Things To Do If Baby Won’t Sleep CHECKLIST

Self-Care Routine Tracker

The Happy Cycle

Establish regular nap times.

Try not to start bad habits.

If you’re a tired mom, stay off the errand wagon.

Establish independent playtime.

Tired Mom CHECKLIST

Being needed constantly makes for a tired mom.

If we’re not “OK,” all our effort goes to fixing it.

When we’re unhappy, we can’t be responsive to people’s needs.

Kids take it upon themselves to make mom happy.

Angry Mom CHECKLIST

Everyone feels like they have to walk on “eggshells.”

It’s hard to stay focused on what matters.

Self-Care Routine Tracker