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11 Handy Ways To Do Hygge As A Family

How to do hygge as a family and make your home more homey both for you and your precious family.

3 countries.

3 continents.

3 babies.

That’s right… I’ve been around the block.

One of the joys of traveling and meeting people from other cultures? Learning new ways of doing things. It’s easy to go from thinking there is One Way to do something (the way we do it here in the US) to seeing there are Multiple Ways to do everything.

It’s both freeing and exciting. There’s less pressure to be perfect and you can rest easy knowing there’s no one way to parent, for example.

After all… kids all over the world are growing up into responsible considerate and bright young adults.

But happy?

Well… that’s an issue here in the US. In recent years kids are at home less, more busy with extra curriculars (because parents have FOOKMO in lieu of FOMO), and are being diagnosed with mental disorders like anxiety and depression at unprecedented levels.

But not so in Denmark.

And why is this, you ask? I shall tell you. According to the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen, Danes are the happiest people in the world and it’s all because of one word.

Hygge.

(According to the book, it’s pronounced Hoo-ga. )

And what is hygge in a few words? It’s homeyness, coziness, and togetherness. It is purposeful laid back bonding without agenda.

And what does hygge “feel like”?

A warm drink after a cold day
Lying on the couch under a blanket with your loved ones
Relaxed, calm togetherness
Safety, security and belonging

Basically, it’s feeling homey and at home with those you love on purpose.

11 Handy Ways to Do Hygge As a Family

The new book on the subject, The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living goes into much greater detail.

There are tons of ways to do hygge as a family, but here are a few of the easiest and most handy ways if you have babies, toddlers, or preschoolers.

Make It A Point, Not An Accident

First off, hygge will not come as naturally as you think. With the demands of homework, housework, and our to do list, it can get squeezed out entirely.

You, the adult, will have to decide you want a hyggeligt evening and purposefully block out distractions and competing interests.

You might have to block out an hour or two a few times a week to fit it in at first. Or you may already embrace hygge in the evening and, if so, well done!

Connection & Culture

Setting Your Family Pace

Family life shouldn’t feel like a constant race. This workshop helps you build a balanced, sustainable pace that handles responsibilities while making space for rest, connection, and what really matters.

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Create Comfortable Meeting Places

One major element of hygge is comfort. This means everyone won’t want to sit on a hard floor to play a board game. Lay down pallets, pillows, blankets and even stuffed animals.

For our Saturday night movie nights (here are some tips on having movie night with your tiny ones) we lay out 5 or 6 blankets on top of the carpet and then add pillows.

The kids associate this pallet with movie night and it adds a layer of comfort. No one strays far from the pallet throughout the entire movie. It is a gathering place.

mom and daughter reading a bedtime story

Adjust Lighting

In the Little Hygge Book, lighting is mentioned over and over and over. It says that warm lighting in small pockets throughout the house are much preferable for hygge than a big bright fluorescent light.

The book mentions candles more times than I could count. Candles are the perfect way to create an atmosphere of peace and calm.

If you are worried about candles with your little ones, below are some battery powered candles. Not *exactly* the same thing, but you know they won’t result in a hot wax burn.

Go Phone Free

We all know the phone is a major source of distraction. It pulls us to the “urgent” which really isn’t all that urgent and we are left feeling blah, empty, and guilty for the time it took us away from our loved ones. If you’re going to have a hyggeligt evening then phones, tablets, and computers go away.

The book says movies are allowed, particularly if you’ve seen them before, because they are bonding moments for the entire family to share.

Make it a habit to turn off your phone or, do what I do, and try to keep it in another end of the house during your evenings.

Connection & Culture

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Rooted in Family

Family life shouldn’t feel like a blur of to-do lists that leave you wondering if the memories are even sticking. This workshop helps you define your family’s core values and create simple, meaningful traditions that bring everyone closer without adding pressure.

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Be Present

One of the big goals of a hygge evening is to bond with people. Your family are your people and to maximize the time together, focus on them. Be present. Listen, ask question, give answers, just be.

Without trying to modify their thoughts, behavior, or moods. Without trying to manage the entire situation, just relax and enjoy your family.

It is easy to say, harder to do. These moments with family are what kids will remember. Here are some tips on really being present with your kids.

Cook Together

According to the book, the longer it takes to cook, the better. Hygge foods are stews, soups, comfort food and – not to be forgotten – cake. Hygge time sets aside the normal dietary restrictions and lets you embrace what you love.

What tastes good. What is fun to cook and what is handmade. So rustic food is better than prissy food.

Chunky and hearty snacks or sweets are better than quiches, souffles, and macaroons. The goal is easy comfort.

Play Board Games

An excellent way to bond over shared activities is board games. When your children are very small this is hard to do, but there are still some board games (two I’ve shown below) that preschoolers can play.

The author says he and his friends get together once a year to play Axis and Allies, a game which can last 14 hours. Friends sharing food, warm drinks, and a long board game creates epic memories for years to come.

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Look Through Old Photos

Hygge seeks to elicit warm fuzzy feelings. What better than crawling up on the couch with a hot chocolate and look at your kids’ baby photos with them?

Mine LOVE seeing themselves and their siblings as babies. This is a great way to get the oxytocin flowing in everyone.

You’ll remember things you haven’t thought of in months or years, and the kids will be able to see where they’ve come from and how they got to where they are now. Growing up I spent HOURS looking through my mother’s old yearbooks for this very reason… it felt homey.

Weary Comfy Clothes

You won’t have a very hyggeligt evening in tight or restrictive clothes. If you have guests, you may want to nix the pajamas, but for hygge as a family, change into pajamas, sweats, yoga pants, and comfortable socks or slippers so you feel at home and relaxed.

The author mentions woolen socks (they are in Denmark, after all, which is not known for its weather) for their comfort level. I have started wearing soft robes each evening because it feels nice, cozy, and slightly prettier than my basic pj’s.

After a bath, when everyone has wet hair, is a perfect time to cozy up for some hygge.

Have Hot Drinks

There’s nothing like a hot (or warm) drink to make an environment cozy. For your little ones you can warm milk and put in some melted chocolate or use a hot cocoa powder, Kids love chocolate milk! Mulled cider, coffee, and tea are also great alternatives.

The idea of being warm and comforted is key with hygge so a cold La Croix (my personal favorite) is not really the way to cozy up. You can make drinks on the stove or in the crock pot and making the drink itself is a great way to have a hyggeligt evening.

Put Away the Agenda

Unless the agenda is to have a hyggeligt evening, put away the agenda. It’s not the time to talk about what behaviors your children have been doing you don’t like.

It’s not the time to bring up evenings or situations that cause them anxiety, it’s a time to be as a family. Follow your kids’ flow. If they want more board games, more board games. If they are enjoying lying with you on the couch or your bed reading books, continue that.

Doing hygge as a family has but a few goals.

To make kids feel safe and secure.

To create a homey and cozy atmosphere.

To bond as a family.

How you do it is up to you, but I encourage you to do it!

How can I have a hygge evening without feeling overwhelmed with planning it?

Don’t over think it. Think of having a cozy evening with your family – what would you include, eat, drink, do? Keep quality family time at the center and create an environment to facilitate that.

Where do I start with planning a hygge evening with my family?

Think about the season you’re currently in and plan around that. For example, if it’s Fall, you could include warm apple cider, a fall movie, pumpkin cinnamon rolls for breakfast, a soup for dinner, etc. Play into the season of the year to make hygge planning easier and more festive!

Gratitude: Teaching Kids To Use Facial Expressions To Show Appreciation

We all want our kids to show gratitude. There is power in a warm “thank you”, but often the facial expression that comes first gives away the true emotion. Here’s how to use facial expressions to show appreciation when it matters most:

Years ago I lived in Rome, Italy.

5 of us lived in one house and we were great friends. One of the lovely ladies, a truly sweet woman, used to make this one facial expression. It was playful and quick, but it clearly communicated “gross.”

If you had a drink she didn’t like… the gross face.

Or talked about something she didn’t agree with… the gross face.

One day after she made that face, one of us mentioned it. We said it hurt our feelings. That we knew she was actually very sweet spirited, but the face was… well.. kinda mean.

All of us had noticed it.

After that, I don’t recall her ever making that face again.

The power of facial expressions….

Teaching kids to show appreciation using facial expressions.

Just like we teach our kids how to tie their shoes, brush their teeth, and make their beds… we can also teach them how important body language is.

The emotions we experience often show up on our face first. This is true for kids as well.

Because of this, you can see why using facial expressions to show appreciation can be a valuable skill to teach.

Teach kids about emotions & non-verbal communicating cues.

We all know that non-verbal skills are essential for communicating. Eye contact, body language, and facial expressions… these are key components in communicating.

It’s not all about verbal language

I recently learned that when a baby is born, they have all the components necessary in their little faces to make all known facial expressions.

Pretty cool, right?

So, even a baby can begin to non-verbally communicate by simply feeling an emotion and showing it on their face.

Enjoyment, interest, joy, surprise, disgust, sadness... all available to show in facial expressions from birth. This got me thinking about how early appreciation can be shown in a child’s face.

So, how can facial expressions that show appreciation be taught?

Having the right facial expression (to really show appreciation) can really be helpful when coming into the holidays.

First of all, your kids are probably going to be given gifts at family events, participate in class parties at school, and more…

I learned early on with my kiddos that teaching them some simple non-verbal cues and facial expressions helped them navigate through these times.

Read: What Does a Healthy Worldview Have to Do With Gratitude?

1. Start by teaching about emotions

Emotion cards are a great way to teach children how to interpret and understand the emotions they face in live.

Teaching kids non-verbal communicating skills uses facial expression recognition. Ultimately, a child will have to understand how to gauge how they are feeling and assign an appropriate facial expression to communicate effectively.

Just like my friend who unwillingly displayed the wrong emotion and then changed because it provoked the wrong feeling… kids can be taught to show genuine appreciative emotions on their face.

This begins with education about emotions and how to understand what they’re feeling.

2. Assign emotions & model facial expressions that correctly show appreciation

Ask yourself this question: Are my kids attentive to my facial expressions?

My kids will tell you that they can look at my face and in an instant, tell how I am feeling.

Play some facial expression games

Make an exaggerated face
ask your child what you are feeling
have them make a face
be silly and guess (maybe even guess the opposite)

Role playing is fun for kids and they learn a lot. We even do this when we are sleep training toddlers, it goes a long way.

Read: Quiet time (Rest time) for Toddlers: All You Need to Know

3. Finally, allow opportunity and practice

Grab an emotions card, create a pretend situation, and practice learning to show appreciation. Then, allow some practice time and make it enjoyable for your littles.

Roll play various situations that would require appreciation.
Make a thumb’s up/thumb’s down game out of which facial expression is good to show appreciation.
Aquire some read aloud books that bring up the emotion of thankfulness and instruct children to show, draw, or explain how their face should look in this situation.

These types of simple lessons and practices can foster real bonding moments between a mother and her children. Furthermore, these lessons make space for valuable discussions and relationship building moments.

Don’t forget to mindfully acknowledge your kids’s facial expressions throughout the day.

Finally, When they are showing appreciation on their face, let them know. It is very rewarding for a child to know that they have touched the heart of their parent or loved one with the expression on their face.

How can I teach my kids about their facial expressions when they can’t see their own face?

Practice making facial expressions using a mirror so that they can get an idea for how their faces look when they make certain expressions. Even if they can’t see their faces in the heat of a moment, they can still learn to “fix their faces.”

How can I make my kids aware that their facial expressions need to change in the moment?

Make a silent gesture that you can use to signal to your kids to change their face. Brainstorm some ideas together and make it memorable when you choose one!

Source:

Children Facial Expression Production: Influence of Age

Cozy Changes for the Fall Season | 5 Quick Family Tips!

We all enjoy that warm and cozy feeling that fall brings. Here are some quick and easy family tips to bring the season of fall into your home.

Are you ready for some simple tips on how to create a cozy and inviting feel to your home during this fall season?

First off, it’s worth noting that I’m more of a minimalist than a maximalist. That being said, here are some minimalist ways to help your family transition naturally into this season of fall.

It’s happening in nature, let’s let it happen in our homes… so we can have a more cozy and comfortable family experience.

Change Routines & Rhythms

Think about your routines and rhythm. Now, change them up.

What are some of the routines that you do automatically around the house? Think of a routine that is something that you do routinely. Obviously, some of these naturally change with school time and summer.

One thing that I do in the evening is that I make sure all the bright overhead lights are off and I turn on lamps. This just makes everything feel super cozy and warm.

You can make this simple light change when it’s reading time with your kids or just together family time. Whatever it is, a simple lamp change or cozy blankets can make this time feel memorable.

You’re warm and cozying up beside eachother. A lot of bonding happens in the fall season.

The key here is to use this season change as a time to connect.

Think about the rhythms and routines that your family does. What time do you normally eat? Could you do more things outside? Can you switch some things to create some bonding moments?

With the weather changing, maybe it’s the perfect time for evening walks as a family.

Family Routines Reboot is a complete workshop on creating family and children’s routines. Within this, I teach about self care and maintaining healthy routines within your family.

Do a Wardrobe Shift

This really helps get you settled into the fall season. It can be fun to shift wardrobes around in you or the kids closets.

If you have all the kids things in one place, move the more fall clothes to the front. Then, move some of the bathing suits or whatever to the back.

This is fun to do in your own closet. Now, if you’re in the “pre-fall” or “post-summer” transition… you may not want to put things into storage because the weather hasn’t exactly made up it’s mind yet.

However, you can set some things aside and consider what you wore last year. Use this time as an enjoyable thing for you to do.

Here’s what I do: I put on an ambiance, play some relaxing music, get something nice to drink, and re-organize my space.

Read These While You’re At It

40+ Fall Family Traditions Everyone Will Love

Child sitting in a window reading a book about starting school.

Children’s Books That Make The Whole World Feel Cozy

8 Ways To Make Your Family Home Feel Cozy And Calm

3 Natural Ways To Connect With Your Child’s Heart

Settle Into Your Main Family Spaces

These are the areas you spend the most amount of time in. You know… the kitchen and living spaces can be “fallified” too. This could mean:

Foraging for some flowers.
Getting some fake (or real) pumpkins.
Putting out some cozy blankets.
Using a pumpkin dish for where your fruit goes.

You can even use things that are on hand. Maybe some things that are orange or yellowish… mustard colors.

You don’t have to go overboard with seasonal decorating to make your main family spaces feel cozy. There’s so much that can be said about just adding a few touches here or there.

I just feels like a wholesome thing to do. It’s great for the home to have this warm and wholesome feel, especially with the world being so crazy out there.

Look At & Revisit Your Cooking Habits

Let’s use some simple recipe switch-ups to make the home (and family life) feel more cozy.

I don’t know if you’re like me, but I get into some serious cooking funks. I have about 5-6 go to meals and then I just make them all the time. Overall, I think this is fine. However, when I decide to come out of it and add in some things, I like to make it seasonal.

Making some seasonal changes in your recipe routines can be simple but have a great cozy affect. Maybe you add in…

some soups,
the instant pot, or
the slow cooker.

In the season of fall, you probably want to add in some warm/hot meals instead of the lighter summertime meals.

This can be an exciting time to refresh your cooking routine and get back in the groove of cooking at home.

There are so many online resources to help with this. I have recently discovered a site called budgetbytes. I thought this site was interesting because food prices are going up so much and she lists out each individual serving cost per meal. This may make you feel more in control of your meals.

I like to incorporate some more seasonal foods into our snacks as well. Maybe pumpkin bread for an after school snack or making homemade banana bread as a bonding activity.

Thanksgiving Recipes Kids Can Help Make

Fall season is fun to use simple decorations.

“Fallify” Your Books

Switching out your books can help your home feel a bit more seasonal and cozy. It can help you jump into the fall.

I love books. And… I really love kid books. My mom is a retired school teacher so she loves to give the kids books too. Therefore, we have a lot of books that pertain to the season. Books that are fall themed or Thanksgiving stories. We even have harvest and apple picking books.

Here’s a fun tip: keep your season books with the decorations for that season. Pack them away each year and get them out fresh each year. This way, they don’t loose the novelty of being special for that occasion.

I store my Christmas kid books with my Christmas decorations.

So, put them out with your decorations in a central location. The kids, and even yourself, will enjoy flipping though them.

My son enjoys reading The Hardy Boys series. There’s just something bout these books that feel very “back to school” or “fallish.”

Read These While You’re At It

25+ Picture Books For Kids To Explain Hard Topics Awesome Bedtime Storybooks For Babies, Toddlers, & Young Children Best Family Devotion Books for The Dinner Table (or Whenever)

Bestselling Fall Children’s Books You Can’t Put Down Books About Feelings That Help Preschoolers Learn Emotions

Here are some books that I love that really speak to the season:

Sharing the Bread – This is one of my favorites. It ties in some History and has a great Thanksgiving story. It has great illustrations and I think your kids will love it.
Richard Scary’s To Market, To Market – I had not heard to Richard Scary’s books until I loved in Australia and England, but they are great. This one is fall themed and has lots of fun pictures for the season.

Read: All Time Best Thanksgiving Books For Kids & Adults

Bonus: Cozy Read

As a bonus, I couldn’t resist sharing what I’ve been doing recently. I will purposely get a cup of coffee or night time tea and cozy up.

I will be intentional in putting my phone away and just read a book. Or, even just sit there in a bit of silence.

There’s something about the peace and quiet that feels so good.

I may light some candles or even fake candles with a timer. I put these all over the house and it makes it feel super cozy this time of year. This is an easy way to sensory enjoy the cozy season of fall.

When we make a point to engage and enjoy the seasons, the kids will buy in and enjoy it too.

It’s a fun way for us to bond with the kids, slow down a little, and enjoy the fall season.

What is your favorite thing to do in the fall with your kids?

Are there any child-friendly fall decor ideas?

I love having my kids create simple fall crafts and display them throughout the house – on the refrigerator, on the bulletin board, in my office, etc. We also hang up fall crafts they bring home from school and some of our favorites are stored away and brought back out from past years.

How can I transition my home from Halloween to Thanksgiving decor seamlessly?

As a minimalist, I choose to have fall colored items throughout my house so that they can be used for longer periods of time. One way you could think about transitioning your decor from Halloween to Thanksgiving is using things that the holidays have in common: orange, yellows, browns, pumpkins, etc.

What should I consider when decorating my front porch or entryway for fall?

Make it enjoyable and something that you and your kids look forward to. I like to hang a fall decoration on the door, and we usually have pumpkins on our front steps because I love to add a little fall flair to our porch. Some other fun ideas could be getting a fall door mat, a door sign for your favorite football team, or some colorful gourds. Make it reflect your style and home and bring your kids in to help as a fun fall activity for the whole family!

Can I still enjoy fall if I live in a warm climate?

Yes, as a Florida native we enjoy fall with decorating, doing fall crafts, reading fall books, etc. We just won’t get to dress in fall clothes for quite a while 🙂

How To Take A Momcation On Any Budget (And Why It’s a MUST!)

Inside you’ll find tips on the necessity of a mom vacation and how you can do one on any budget.

I like to do something every so often.

Something I like to call: getting the heck out of dodge.

You may have that feeling rising up inside you as well.

The need to escape.

You can tell that the need for a break is coming because you probably start exhibiting some of the following behaviors. You probably don’t even know you’re doing it. Motherhood is such a full-time hyper vigilant job.

Symptoms include:

feeling personally offended when someone needs a diaper change (or a drink, or help to reach something)
loss of patience for normal things
the constant desire to be alone or incessant scrolling you can’t control
cutting corners with discipline, quality time and household chores even though you dislike the results
feeling like no one is respecting your boundaries

Basically, when I sense my normal healthy and positive daily attitude start slipping, I know it’s time for a mommy vacation. My husband is willing to watch the kids so, when budget and scheduling permits, I try to get away for a while and recharge.

When you think about the day to day resume for the stay at home mom, you know that getting some time for yourself is not a luxury but a necessity.

If a mom vacation is something you are considering, then try these benefits on for size. Truly, time away is not selfish, but one of the best gifts you can give your family. It’s an investment in you.

Here are some things you might want to do on a mom vacation:

Sleep
Read
Relax by the pool / beach / mountain
Get ahead on a creative project
Plan the year ahead
Hang out with friends
Sightsee
A lot more!

Read: Strategies For Overwhelmed Moms Who Want To Escape

Benefits of A Mom Vacation

While most moms would agree they like time alone now and again, I’ve found surprising positive benefits to taking a weekend (and even 24 hour if that’s all you can swing) mommy vacation.

It’s not just being able to sleep in or read an entire book, but actual noticeable differences in attitude and emotional well-being result. Here are 5 unexpected benefits I’ve noticed from my times away.

Read: The Ultimate Guide To Having A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love

1. Patience returns

As I take time away I can literally feel my patience returning. My previously intense desire to flee and be alone is replaced with a small (and growing) appreciation for normal life with the kids.

Pre-mommy vacation you may be snappy, impatient, and irritable. Post-mommy vacation you’ll feel more calm, at peace, and able to handle the daily snags of life.

It seems silly that a time period as short as a weekend can cause such an attitude turnaround, but it’s absolutely true!

When you finally have time to relax and get “off duty” the feelings that have been stuffed are able to resolve themselves. I’m not saying you’ll feel like a new person, but you’ll feel like you again.

Related Reads:

2. Delight returns

Mom vacations actually create space for delight in your kids to return.

Responsibilities outweigh cute moments.

The “urgent” takes priority over the spontaneous.

Getting away from responsibilities and obligations for a day or two actually forces you to just “be.” And when you are just being you, the delight with your children comes back full force.

You may find anxiously awaiting your reunion with them and delighting in the things that, two days earlier, would have been inconvenient and annoying.

Related Reads:

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Self-Care That Sticks

In this workshop, you’ll ditch the “I don’t have time” excuse and build a flexible, doable self-care plan that fits into your real life. Because taking care of yourself shouldn’t feel like another thing on your to-do list.

Start Now

3. Gives the kids a change of scenery

It’s good for your kids to spend alone time with their dad, other family members, or care givers who love them.

The more positive influences on your children, the merrier.

Truthfully, your husband isn’t doing you a favor by watching the kids.

With you out of the way your spouse, family member, friend or babysitter has a chance to spend some time with the kids doing things you’d probably not ordinarily do.

New games, new activities, new vocabulary and just a good old fashioned change of pace.

Sometimes, even for the kids, a change is as good as a vacation.

4. Brings you back to your own identity

Becoming a mother is a major life change.

If other areas of your life change at the same time as becoming a mother – career, location, etc. – then the transition can really throw you for a loop.

When we’re focused on others all day and barely give our own needs or wants a thought we can begin to lose our own identity.

Of course we must meet our children’s needs all day!

Of course we must sacrifice some of our previous habits by necessity!

However, it’s good to take some time and remember who you are as a person outside of being a mother. What you like to do, what you don’t like to do. Time to find remember passions and time to do the things you love that there aren’t enough hours in the day for.

Related Reads:

5. It’s for catching up too

When I take the time to go away, I use it for two purposes.

Relaxation and/or getting ahead on writing projects.

Sometimes you’ll be able to do both successfully which means that upon returning home you’ll actually feel ahead.

Ahead and rested!

If you have something you’ve been wanting to do for a while, scheduling time away to get it done makes all the difference. There are no distractions or other practicalities pulling away at you.

Related Reads:

How to do a mom vacation on any budget

Truly, you can take a break and get away on any budget. Here’s how.

1. Get out a calendar

My biggest advice to work your mommy vacations into your schedule is to plan them far in advance.

Get out your calendar or snazzy planner and start thinking about possible months/weekends that would work. You can pencil in holidays and important events to determine when you can block out time for yourself.

If you go away 24 hours at a time (as opposed to a whole weekend), you may be able to go away every other month. I’d aim for at least twice next year at a minimum.

It will be a nice treat to look forward to.

Decide whether you want to go alone or with friends. If alone, choose a time that works best for whoever will keep the kids.
If going with friends, start a group chat or message and choose a weekend far in advance.

Motherhood & Wellbeing

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

2. Reach out

The most inexpensive way to take a mommy vacation is by reaching out to family and friends.

By reaching out to your small group, church community, friends and family you can determine if anyone has (or knows someone who has) a perfect getaway you can take advantage of next year.

Even if you have to pay, it will be far less expensive than paying full price elsewhere.

Start putting the word out. Don’t be shy! Ask people if they know someone who has a second home, lake house, whatever, and say you’re looking to book something to recharge your life.
Reach out to friends who you know have done something similar and ask how they did it.

3. Request it as a gift

If you feel uncomfortable asking family and friends outright, why not put it on your wish list?

Time away is a great gift for Mother’s Day (even if you don’t go away on Mother’s Day), birthdays, or other “just because” occasions.

If your family and friends know that your priority is time away, they’ll know exactly what to give you when the giving is good.

4. Think outside the box

While staying in a hotel may be the first thing that springs to mind, if that is out of your budget then think outside the box.

Do friends have garage apartments or granny flats (a.k.a. mother-in-law suites)? If so, they may be an ideal getaway destination for you.

And, if they aren’t being used year-round, you may find it an ongoing offer of hospitality a few times a year.

House sitting is another option.

If you put the word out soon enough you may snag a few house sitting gigs, and a house is a lot more comfortable than a hotel.

5. Scour the deals

There will always be deals, both far in advance and last minute, so be sure to keep your eye out on various websites for opportunities.

There are tons of money saving sites for booking accommodation, but a few unique ones are listed below.

While we nearly always use VRBO when traveling as a family of 7, when going alone I don’t want to pay a cleaning fee, admin fee, and security deposit, so I will try to find something without the added fees.

6. Do spend it if you’ve got it

Lastly, if you’ve got the dosh to spend then don’t feel guilty.

While it may seem indulgent and selfish to spend time away, it’s actually necessary to recharge and refresh yourself.

When you have an all-consuming and demanding job – like motherhood – taking time away only helps you return to your home better equipped to lovingly and patiently carry out your responsibilities.

It’s not stealing from your family, it’s giving back to them.

An ideal mommy vacation will look different to every woman.

You don’t have to go full on luxury to feel that you’ve been pampered.

In fact, the nicest hotel I’ve stayed in was 4 star and it turned out to be the last wing in the hotel not renovated.

Which meant it was basically a 2 star. And you know what?

It was fantastic!

Why?

Because I didn’t have to do the dishes, laundry, cooking, or any child minding duty. There was a bed, a bath, and room service.

And that was enough.

How can I start talking with my spouse about needing time away without sounding selfish?

It’s not selfish to need time away, and it’s not selfish to ask. Simply say something like: “I would really like some time away to (recharge/sleep/catch up with friends/etc.) When would be a good time to be away for (24 hours/a weekend/etc.)?”

How can I overcome guilt for taking time away from my kids?

Read this blog on mom guilt and use this phrase to banish mommy guilt.

Common Habits Of Organized Stay At Home Moms – With Printable!

Let’s get our lives in order! Here are some common habits and routines of organized stay at home moms, with a printable for you too!

I want to put something right out here right now.

I grew up hearing I had very slobby habits.

So I’m not naturally super organized and efficient. I do not Micro Organize my drawers or color code them.

I like quick tidying habits. And I like simple ways to have the house be in order.

Like house walks.

two baskets filled with toys that will help you organize

So over the years I have found some basic and easy ways to stay organized – to whatever level works for your family – and I hope these help you too.

Read: Stuck In Survival Mode? Here’s How To Get Out

Organized Stay At Home Moms Do These Things

So here are some habits that organized stay at home moms do that help them maintain sanity.

Read: A Stay At Home Mom Schedule That Keeps You Grounded

They Major on the Majors, Minor on the Minors

I wanted to put this first because it speaks volumes.

I first heard this expression when we lived in England. It was true then and true now. We need to major on the majors and minor on the minors.

This means when it’s time to tidy we don’t choose some back closet we barely see and create an elaborate gift wrapping station. We don’t obsess over junk drawer placements.

We aren’t labeling every basket in closets with doors. And we aren’t Marie Kondo folding t-shirts that are in storage.

Oh no.

We are choosing rooms with a lot of traffic. Areas that collect the most debris. We are making routines around times that are most stressful and tasks we do most often.

We put the majority of our effort into things that take up the majority of our time.

teddy bear sitting on top of a light aqua pillow with stars

Organized moms have routines

Every family is different. What works for you might not work for me and vice versa.

But there are a few things that we all have in common, and these are the things we build routines around.

Everyone’s gotta eat.

Everyone’s gotta sleep.

And everyone’s gotta keep house.

Here are some routines that serve moms:

Breastfeeding schedules (if you nurse)
Baby schedules and routines
Toddler schedules and routines
Mom schedules and routines
School schedules and routines
Weekly routines
Daily schedules and routines (for kids and mom)
Chore and housekeeping routines

Organized mamas tidy regularly

Have you heard of the One Touch rule?

This rule says that if you can touch an object once, do so.

Instead of coming inside and putting your coat on the counter, then later hanging the coat up… just hang the coat straight up.

Don’t touch it twice if you can touch it once.

Organized stay at home mothers make a habit of tidying all day while they’re doing normal things, not waiting until it takes 3 hours to tidy.

This means while a mom walks from one room to another, she may carry a few things and put away.

When she’s in the bathroom brushing her teeth, she may wipe the counter and put products away.

Before moving on to a different activity, she has the kids help her put away the current one. In the South African way.

Organized SAHMs tend towards minimalism

The more stuff you have the more difficult it is to manage.

It’s hard for kids to clean up all their mess if their rooms are exploding with toys.

It’s difficult to put things away and out of sight when the drawers, closets, and storage containers are exploding with things.

The fewer things you have, the easier it is to keep an organized and tidy home.

Examples of Moderate Minimalism

Having one full set of dishes.
Making a small designated basket or two for toys in living areas, that’s it.
Clothes in, clothes out habit. If you purchase new clothes, donate or throw out others that are too worn, too small, or too little used.
Have just enough clothes for a week or two and some special occasions, and that’s it. Kids don’t need 15 pairs of shorts and t-shirts. It’s just more to wash.
Minimize your schedule until it’s just the things that bring the most to your family culture.

They use calendars and reminders

You might be a family whose calendars are synced.

We are not, but we still work off a visual calendar.

Whether you want to be paper or digital, organized moms know when they need to be places, and they make sure their family does too.

This wasn’t necessary for us until the kids were in school and our school mornings and school afternoons started to become more busy.

Having a large calendar (I used one similar to this) helped us see our schedule 3 months out. We hung 3 months at a time on our large command center chalk board and it kept us from being too busy or double booking.

How do you stay organized on a regular basis?

Keeping a planner is one way, having reminders whether paper or by phone, and simply doing it often enough that you keep these habits going all the time without falling behind.

Do I need a stay at home schedule?

Well, you may! I have an in depth stay at home mom schedule here, and you can always make your own.

If you are a more routine person, you may like to know what happens when, if you are more go with the flow, having organizing habits may do better than having a full day schedule.

Should I have a cleaning schedule?

Regular cleaning habits go a long way in keeping the home tidy and well kept. Whether it’s choosing a day of the week for a certain task or simply having a master list you check off, you can keep ahead of the chores.

See our doable weekly cleaning checklist here.

How can I prioritize what to organize or keep organized?

I would start with the areas that you are in and use the most often because these areas will give you the most bang for your buck. Take into account how much time you have and which area causes you the most stress when it isn’t organized and go from there.

What are some time-saving tips for keeping the bathroom clean and organized, especially with kids?

Keeping bathrooms organized is easier when there are less things in the bathroom to clutter it. Consider decluttering under the sinks and other storage areas to keep the clutter to a minimum and save time cleaning in the long run. Other than that, when it is age-appropriate for your kids, teach them how to clean the bathroom too!

The Trick to Finding Time Alone as a Stay-At-Home Mom

If you are having trouble finding time alone each day as a mom, here are my tips. I’ve had 5 kids in 5 years so I understand your struggle. Also, here’s some encouragement for the emotionally exhausted mom.

“Everyone just leave me alone for a few minutes,” I said.

“But, mama…” her sweet voice said in tears…“you don’t want to be alone because you’ll be sad.”

“No darling,” I said gently, “I promise I will not be sad even a little bit.”

Sweet thing. True story.

Young kids just don’t get the need to be alone.

Even though it benefits them, they can’t articulate its importance. We mothers, on the other hand, we do.

Finding Time Alone As A Mom

There are times and seasons when we may find ourselves without the outlet of babysitters or family support. If you’ve just moved somewhere, are far from family, or have little money to put towards babysitters, then you need to work out a good strategy to wind down, process, and get refreshed.

Part of the blessings and joys that come from a good schedule is the basic strategy of routine and order. You are able to prioritize your day based on the needs of your family.

By doing so you can find ways to get small breathers that help you to keep moving.

Read: 5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember

Schedule it in

Things like nap time, independent play time, and structured playtime between siblings are great for two reasons. One, they benefit the kids. Two, they benefit you.

It may be good idea to schedule in some Quiet/Rest Time as well.

Since I work from home I absolutely rise and fall with my schedule. Every morning and afternoon there is some allotted time in which I am alone. Whether it’s outdoor play in our ~~holding pen~~ fenced in play area or room time, I need time of peace and quiet.

I lay on the bed and read a book, take a nap or plan out something hobby or project related. I almost never do chores, wash dishes, clothes or do housework during this time.

For one thing I like to keep the house quiet, but for another I just decided I wouldn’t. A woman needs a little peace and quiet every now again. Particularly when she’s an only child who is from the country {ahem} and, therefore, used to silence.

Read: The Stay At Home Mom Schedule That’ll Keep You Sane

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Self-Care That Sticks

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Learn how to lock doors

And I’m not talking about closet doors with your children inside. Sometimes when I need a few minutes I tell my husband that I’m going into the bedroom and lock the door.

Locking the door is key.

If not, I will have barely positioned myself prostrate on the bed when the door opens and I hear “mommy, get up, mommy!” That, my friends, is not an environment conducive to relaxing.

Sometimes I’ll take a bath or long shower or go into the barn to work out and, while my husband or mother’s helper is on duty, I’ll lock the door. It may seem weird, but it has momentarily restored sanity for me many a time.

Sometimes even 15 uninterrupted minutes is the difference between a mother with no patience and a mother with enough patience to be sweet until bedtime. Or, even if I need to bring the babies along, at least I’m getting to do something for me.

Read: Quiet time (Rest time) for Toddlers: All You Need to Know

My workout partners. They helped me gain this extra 20 pounds, they can dang sure watch me lose it.

A post shared by Rachel Norman (@momfarfromhome) on Sep 13, 2016 at 12:27pm PDT

If you need some time alone to reset, know that setting boundaries around that is important.

Your children can wait a few minutes, particularly if they are younger and being taken care of by someone else.

Don’t throw the time you have into the black hole

By black hole I mean things that may lead you to say “I just sat down and three hours have gone by for nothing.” These things will vary according to the person. Since I do a lot of work online, anything “screen” is typically a waste of time for me.

Completely non-relaxing. TV, Facebook, or Netflix may help me escape but, when I’m finished, I don’t feel refreshed.

For some those things may be exactly how you refresh. We’re all different. I try to make myself bake, sew, paint something, or read a book that actually has pages I am turning in my hand.

These things help me to feel like I had some of my own personal time. Know what your ‘black hole’ behaviors are and do your best to completely avoid them during your precious free moments.

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

Find outside help

There are many other ways to get some time to yourself. Whether you hire a mother’s helper (this much more feasible than you think), a family member, a neighbor, your spouse, or you simply schedule it into your everyday life.

However you do it, make it a priority.

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It isn’t the one hour here that gets you down. It’s the one hour here, one hour there, 50 hours later when you are on the verge of meltdown… Working some time to focus on you will make all the difference.

She might chase the 1 year old or empty the dishwasher or read to the kids or do awesome fun games with them. I might work, feed the baby, shower, read a book, or put away the laundry. Point is, I use that time to feel space and it’s worth every penny.

If we never get time alone we lose ourselves.

If we lose ourselves we stuff our emotions.

And, if we stuff our emotions we explode on everyone around us.

It is not easy, but it is simple.

Sources:

How can I find someone to help with the kids so I can get some alone time?

Find another stay-at-home mom and watch each other’s kids a couple of times per week so the other mom can get some time to herself. Or hire a babysitter, mother’s helper, ask for help from your spouse or extended family. Starting asking around and you will probably be surprised by the options you find!

How do I figure out what will relax me during my alone time?

Think back to before you had kids – what did you enjoy doing? What seems exciting to you? You don’t have to do “relaxing activities” in order to relax – working out, going for a walk, learning something new, or baking could be refreshing for you.

8 Things To Do The Same Time Every Day, Every Week

Here are 4 things to keep on your weekly routine and 4 to add to your nightly routine.

I am, apparently, a creature of habit.

If you ask me to tell you about my entire day, and then compare that to other days – I probably seem like a robot. Predictable. Maybe even, extremely self-disciplined.

But really, I don’t think that’s the case.

I am simply fond of habits and routines. If I do something a few days in a row that works for me, I keep it up until I’m doing it daily, nightly, or weekly.

I do it until it doesn’t work for me anymore then I do something new.

Why are weekly routines and habits so amazing?

Weekly routines and habits are amazing because they help lessen the mental overload that we all share as busy moms!

“It is utterly exhausting to keep track of everything for an entire family. There are countless invisible things a woman typically keeps track of that no one sees but her.” Mental Load of Motherhood

By turning something from a to-do list line item to a habit… you simply do it without thinking.

It no longer takes up brain space nor do you need to put reminders everywhere. You simply do it and it’s done regularly.

Viola!

Read: Mom Morning Routines That Bring Sanity & Order

What should I do in my weekly, nightly, and daily routines?

Note: Some of the things mentioned here will apply to us all. But… you might want to add some things in here I haven’t mentioned.

The key is to add things into the routines that take up mental space so that you can feel more at peace.

Weekly routines take down stress and allow for more peaceful moments.

WEEKLY ROUTINE: 4 things to set yourself up for the week ahead…

These are things that come in handy for me to do once per week. I personally do these on Sunday afternoon or evenings to alleviate some of the “Sunday Scaries”.

You can do them at any natural break in your week. For example: Friday before dinner, Saturday morning, or even Monday morning.

Read: The Mom Morning Routine — Start The Day Off Strong

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Sticky Routines System

Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

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1) Meal Plan & Grocery Shop

We live in the sticks. No InstaCart. No grocery delivery. I cannot – this is not a joke – even order my groceries online and pick them up.

No, sir. Old school grocery shopping for me.

I used to randomly go to the store whenever we ran out of food and this caused stress. I dreaded it – since I wasn’t organized – and would put it off until we barely had food and were forced to eat out.

Now, I meal plan immediately before going grocery shopping and I go grocery shopping at the same time every week.

Choose your meal planning medium (Pinterest, write on a chalkboard, print out recipes, etc.)
Choose a time that suits you to grocery shop that you can do every single week
Do the full shop at this time. Don’t skip the milk if you already have a jug in the refrigerator, buy all the regulars.

By doing this I soon found my pantry was always well-stocked, my fridge rarely got to empty, and I spent less money both at the store and eating out.

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

Weekly routines can include going to the grocery store and meal prepping.

2) Update and Plan (In a Planner)

Whether you use a digital planner or a paper planner, it’s a good idea to update it weekly.

Every Sunday evening, I go to my desk, get out my paper planner, and get to work. I’ve personally used both the Simplified Planner and the Brilliant Life Planner and love them both.

Get out your planner of choice (digital or paper).
Fill in all the standing weekly appointments (church, groups, extra curriculars, etc.)
Write down things you need to complete this week, making sure not to add too many Big things so you stand a chance of completing it.
Make note of any appointments or meetings you need to tell your spouse about so you can tag team things. (If digital, it’s likely already shared)

Write in you planner as part of your weekly routine.

3) Create a Weekly To Do List

Guess what? I do this at the same time I’m filling out my planner! I write down things or projects that I need to complete by the week’s end.

This is different than a brain dump which is a huge master list of all the things you want done. Nope, a to-do list is a list of things you’ll be able to complete in a 7 day period.

Projects
Phone calls
Things to buy
Things to brainstorm / plan (like plans for an upcoming birthday or holiday, etc.)

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4) Choose Kid’s Clothes for The Week

Before we started homeschooling, I picked out all of my school aged children’s outfits each Sunday evening and then hung them up ready for the morning.

Seems like a lot…but it was totally worth it! This cut down on so much stress as the kids got themselves ready each morning for school. Win-win!

Also these….

Confirm any social plans with friends
Think about the weekend ahead, schedule in tentative plans
Plan workouts… they’ll be more likely to happen
Check bank accounts, budgets, etc. make sure you’re on track
Buy miscellaneous things you know you need from Prime (Wal-Mart and Target have quick shipping now too)
Dump old leftovers from fridge

NIGHTLY ROUTINE: a list of things to do nightly to set yourself up for success…

Undoubtably, morning routines are very important when we have young kids… However, I’ve found that the evening routine may even be more important when it comes to having a good day!

If I’ve done a good nightly routine the night before… I am far more likely to be up and running the next morning with little stress or hick-ups along the way.

Helpful Habits Each Evening

Lay Out Clothes | I lay out my early morning gym clothes for the mornings I’m going to work out, or whatever other outfit I’m going to wear. It is some how easier and more inspiring to do this at night.
Check The Planner | Reference your plans for the next day to make sure you’re prepared. What needs to happen, appointments, or anything else you want to fit in. Waking up surprised by what has to be done breeds stress.
Set Out Morning Drinks | I will put a mug, my vitamins, and a gallon water jug near my coffee station. It’s all sitting there waiting on me prettily for the first cup of the day.
Confirm The Morning’s Plans | If you have any plans the following day, confirm them with interested parties so you’re not left hanging.
Set Your Alarm | Even getting up just 15 minutes before your kids do can make a huge difference in your mindset.
Evening Sweep | Do a general sweep of your entire home by doing my “macro organizing” trick.
Clean Surfaces | It’s a total stress buster.
Put Clothes In Washer | If you have a timed washing machine, put a load of clothes in the wash to go off in the morning. Before lunch you’ll have one load done.

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Goodnight Bedtime Battles

This workshop will give you a simple, sanity-saving bedtime system that actually works—one that helps your kids wind down, fall asleep without endless stalling, and stay asleep (so you can finally get some rest).

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So there you go…

If you feel that your days, nights, and weeks go by in a flash and you don’t have a good handle on them, try choosing a day each week to block out some weekly routines. Then do it nightly.

“Good habits are worth being fanatical about.” John Irving

Sources:

How can I create routines that are sustainable?

Start by adding in a new, helpful routine (like maybe a nightly routine) each week until you feel like you have your bases covered. Then, you won’t feel overwhelmed to start and you will be able to sustain your new routines for the long haul.

What are some self-care routines to do weekly?

Check out my blog post on self-care for some daily routines for moms. I also have a free self-care routines tracker available to help you stay consistent with self-care.

How do I know if my routines aren’t working for me anymore?

If you feel stressed or overwhelmed by the routines or they aren’t getting done because you’re avoiding them, then it’s time to switch them up. If you feel resistance to the routine, then it’s probably no longer serving you.

Tips to Help the Tired Mom Sleep More, Better, and Longer

If you’re a tired mom or a stressed mom, this post is absolutely most definitely for you. Sometimes the more tired we are the harder it is to think and sleep. Here are my tips to help!

We all know that it’s no mystery at all that you’re a tired mom.

Not because you don’t have things in order. Not because you are necessarily frazzled or running a chaotic home.

But simply because it’s tiring to be a mom.

And when your kids are little, you’re always busy being hyper-vigilant.

Plus, if you look at the resume for a stay at home mom or the many hats a mother wears on paper, you won’t be surprised why you’re tired.

Sleep can be a big issue.

Sleep is sooooo important. But…

As we know, that the more tired you are-the worse you sleep. Also, the worse you sleep the more cranky you are the next morning.

It’s basically an ugly cycle.

So here are some ways that we can help get back into a well-rested cycle in spite of the fact that we still have a lot on our plate:

Think straight when you can think straight.

It’s high time you made a plan to get more rest, or better rest, into your normal routine.

However, the worst time to start making decisions, try to fight bad habits, or rely on your willpower is when you are already exhausted.

It’s been said never to make important decisions or have important conversations late at night, and I agree with this wholeheartedly. Things seem worse, you feel worse, and everything looks lose-lose when you are working at a negative.

Create a plan.

Create a plan or routine that will help guard your sleep (more on that later) and do this when you are feeling okay. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel, but create a plan and then when you are uber exhausted, stop thinking.

Just follow said plan.

I know that’s easier said than done, but it’ll take willpower and self-discipline to get our sleep back and it’ll be so worth it!

Read: The Nap Trap – How To Deal With It & Not Resist It

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Pre-midnight sleep helps a tired mom.

A friend’s mother always told him, “One hour of sleep before midnight is worth two.” Anecdotally, I agreed.

Come to find out it actually proves true based on science as well. Basically, your best quality of sleep occurs when your circadian rhythm is at its lowest and this generally occurs between 10 pm and 5 am. That means if you go to bed at 1 and get up at 8, only half your sleep is likely good quality.

Whereas if you went to bed at 11 and woke up at 7, the majority of your sleep would be higher quality.

Plus, when you have kids, you never know if they’ll wake up at night for some reason. I can’t count the number of times I was in bed asleep at 9:30 pm (I’m lame, I know), but at 2:00 am awake with a teething toddler was SO GLAD I’d made that choice.

I could wake up relatively well rested instead of starting the day at the end of my rope.

Get an eye mask.

Sounds a bit superficial and silly, but I’m telling you: get an eye mask. And get one today. These work for a few reasons.

They block light which helps your brain produce melatonin which is the good sleep hormone that will help you sleep.
Also, they are a good sleep association. Yes, even adults need sleep associations!
They are also great if your spouse likes to read with the light on or watch TV in bed.
This eyemask actually has cold therapy and helps with headaches and migraines as well.

Guard your evenings.

If you’re exhausted and worn out the last thing you have is a large amount of will power and rational reasoning skills.

Trust me I know.

However, the only way to get out of it is to consistently do something about it. The period when our children are very little is all consuming, but if we don’t try to set in place good habits now… they won’t magically set themselves.

This may mean stopping work by 9 pm, instituting screen free time, or saving your favorite TV shows or films for the weekend.

Each house will be different, but you may have to set a boundary that says “Even if I go to bed tonight with a dirty house, I’ll have more energy and wherewithal to clean it tomorrow. I’m going to leave it.“

Motherhood & Wellbeing

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

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Use sleep aids.

By sleep aids, I mean natural things you can use that will help your body calm down and get ready for sleep.

This may mean getting a good mattress if you have back or hip issues. If you aren’t able to afford a nice new mattress you can get a thick pillowtop mattress that essentially does the same thing.

This one is 3 inches thick with memory foam and a lot cheaper than a new mattress if that simply isn’t in the budget.

Create a bedtime routine for yourself
Make sure you fit in evening routines that help you relax
Get an eye mask
Put your phone away at least an hour before bed

Have rules for your kids.

One thing is for sure: it’s jarring to be woken up in the morning by a screaming or fussing kid.

We have rules in our home that the kids don’t get out of bed until we come to their rooms. They stay in bed, sing, talk, play with their stuffed animals or stare at the fan.

Either way, there is no rolling over at 5 am, realizing they have free rein of the house, and then getting up screaming.

By having these types of rules you’ll find children actually sleep a lot later. Why? Because they know it’s pointless to get up early.

We really emphasize that they don’t need to wake up screaming, but if they need to use the potty, etc. they can do so quietly then return to their beds.

Sounds pie in the sky but it’s possible with consistency.

Set the scene.

I’m horrible at this when I have a new baby. Until my babies are sleeping well through the night I keep them in a crib in our room so I don’t have to wake fully up and go to another room to feed then be completely awake.

A few times a night. Anyway, because of that I don’t keep the master bedroom as a haven, but when the baby is old enough for their own room then I definitely do.

But for a tired mom-

Have nice lighting,
comfy seating,
blankets, and
a place for your books or hot tea.
blackout curtains,
rainforest sounds (white noise for adults, ha), and
comfortable bedding go a long way to making your room a place that inspires rest.

These things will depend on your own personality, but red and yellow are suggested by color experts to be avoided in bedrooms because they are stimulating as opposed to calming.

Ease your mind if you’re a tired mom.

Lauren posted recently that keeping a list can actually help you sleep better.

If tend towards anxiety, worry, or Type-A-ness then this may be particularly important for you. Keep lists, do one or two major things on your to do list and then relax.

Learn to lower your expectations of what can be done in this season of life. Then, if you can, cross some things off your to do list, not because you did them, but because they don’t really have to be done.

Did I miss any important tip that you use to sleep better and more?

Read These While You’re At It

5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember

Have super high expectations of yourself? Here's how unrealistic expecations actually hurt you, and how to start developing real ones.

How Unrealistic Expectations Hurt You

Simple Ways Moms Can Unwind, Recharge & Relax In Daily Life

Taking Good Care of Yourself When You’re in the Trenches

What is it so hard to get rest as a mom?

Many moms feel like their only free time is at night after the kids are in bed, so they are tempted, and often do, stay up late to do the things that they want to do after taking care of the kids all day, which leads to more exhaustion the next day. Getting woken up in the night, not having a wind-down routine for ourselves, and worrying about all the things are a few other reasons it’s hard for moms to rest.

What are some activities to do at the end of the night to help me wind down?

Check out this blog post on self-care for moms and use this Self-Care Routine Tracker to help keep yourself accountable.

5 Things You Think Kids Hate, but They Actually Love

What are some things you think your kids hate, but they actually love?. We know our children well, but even so, sometimes we think they can do things they can’t and think they can’t do things they can.

The kids do not care.

I’m telling you… they just don’t.

What do they not care about?

The big grand things we plan for them.

The minute you put on a chipper voice and an exaggerated smile and try to lure them into enjoying whatever grand activity you’ve planned for them, the sooner they would just rather eat dirt then lie down in it.

It isn’t that kids don’t like fun things. They do.

But really, when it gets down to it, kids are uncomplicated.

They don’t need or want fancy things. They like the simple pleasures in life. We parents project onto our kids what *we* like and then wonder why they don’t seem to be acting quite right.

Moms put an immense amount of pressure on themselves to be perfect and do perfectly and look perfect. It’ll never happen, but we still aim for it. That’s the bad news.

The good news is this… we can stop aiming so high because kids don’t need Shock and Awe. They just need Your Love and Attention. Oh, and some cuddles.

Routine is part of things you think kids hate.

Things You Think Kids Hate… That They Actually Love

Here is a list, in no particular order, of what we mothers believe are things “you think kids hate” that they actually love.

Things they need. Things they want. Even though they aren’t able to tell us this in so many words.

Routine

Research is nearly unanimous. Children love routine. The end.

They may not love every single aspect of your daily routine, but they love knowing what’s next. They love being able to say, “After breakfast we do chores, after chores we play!”

Whether you have a routine by the clock or using the South African Method, keep your routine going. If you start to find your child being disobedient, fighting transitions (going from one part of your day to the next) or being uncooperative, you may have a routine problem.

“My child doesn’t like routine,” you might be saying, but I want to respectfully submit it’s probably you who doesn’t like *maintaining* the routine.

There’s a difference. But, if you choose a routine that works for all parties, you’ll begin to love it.

Benefits of routine:

promotes confidence as children know what’s happening next
keeps children well fed and well rested
it helps mama fit in the important things
it makes gaining cooperation for undesirable activities (naps, chores, etc.) a lot easier

Motherhood & Wellbeing

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

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Boundaries

Imagine this… you get a new job and your employer gives you zero training.

Instead, every time you do something that isn’t quite right, you get in trouble. Soon, you’ll be terrified that your every effort will result in discipline.

Instead of feeling freedom you feel stress and anxiety. Why? Because you can’t possibly please your boss if you don’t know what they want.

Kids are no different.

Lack of boundaries actually causes insecurity in children.

So what are boundaries?

Boundaries are what your child can and cannot do. These will be the house rules, the daily expectations, and will align with your values. You don’t need to have tons of rules to raise a responsible child, but you do need to communicate the rules you have to your family.

They will feel free and happy knowing they are able to choose the right way instead of feeling stressed or nervous you’re going to ALL OF A SUDDEN discipline them for something they didn’t anticipate.

Prevent the All Of A Sudden In Trouble Stress by simply explaining to your children what you expect or don’t expect. Total freedom can, in fact, sabotage your child’s self-confidence building.

Benefits of boundaries:

provides safety for your child
helps your child feel secure in your expectations
removes the need for lecturing, the kids already know the rules
allows your child the opportunity to choose well

Sleeping

“Wait a minute,” you are saying, “My kids HATE sleeping!“

Sleeping is a thing you think kids hate, but you may be surprised.

I will respond to that by saying this: they may hate going to sleep but they love being well-rested.

I have 5 kids and they don’t always skip and run to bedtime singing songs, but they know they need it. When one starts acting fussy or inconsolable, inevitably another child says, “He’s tired.”

In our family, we’ve established a clear link between tiredness and undesirable behavior. No one is able to behave at their best when they’re exhausted.

Read: The Nap Trap- How to Deal with It and Not Resist It

Mothers included.

Read These While You’re At It

6 Baby Products That Help Newborns Sleep Well From The Start

12 Medical Reasons Your Baby’s Not Sleeping (With Symptoms Of Each)

2-Year-Old Sleep Regression – Common Signs & Guaranteed Solutions

things you must consider when swaddling baby at night

4 Clever Tips for Swaddling Your Baby at Night

5 Daily Habits For Kids That Makes Your Life Easier

We mothers may not like staying home a lot to let them nap, and we may not want to take the time to teach healthy sleep habits, but we all want our children (and ourselves) to enjoy the benefits of rest.

It may seem like a pipe dream, but those with well-rested kids know… kids who go to bed are much happier.

Benefits of sleep:

better attitude
better emotional control
positive benefits for their health and weight
boosts learning and increases attention span and focus

Boundaries & Behavior

0-5, 6-12

Goodnight Bedtime Battles

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How to sleep with bread

Chores

“I don’t want to fold towels, mom. I WON’T DO IT!” my 4 year old son told me one day.

I calmly (I Try to be A Calm Mom, though I don’t always succeed) put the towels in his room and told him not to come out until they were done. He fussed, flailed, and resisted for probably 20 minutes.

Then he got down to folding, did a fabulous job, and called from the doorway…

“Mom, I did it! I folded the towels, come see!”

You see, hard things are things you think kids hate…but the success is worth the effort.

I met him there, praised him for his work, and we went about our business. Afterwards, he felt proud of the job he’d done. He even asked for a couple more chores to add to his list.

We mothers have to be sure our children’s momentary resistance doesn’t convince us of their permanent opinion.

Things you think kids hate may just be insecurities.

Toddlers and preschoolers are notorious for changing their mind. Think about exercise. You may not “like” it but it’s good for you and afterwards you feel good. Kids actually enjoy contributing to the family.

Why kids like chores once they get over it:

they feel useful
they learn new skills which increases self-confidence
a sense of belonging comes with helping the family
they get to spend time with you

Read: Life Skills For Kids By Age (With Printables!)

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

No Nag Chore Routines

Getting kids to do chores shouldn’t be a daily battle. Let me help you build a simple, age-appropriate system that teaches independence, teamwork, and responsibility—without constant micromanaging. Because a well-run home isn’t about doing it all yourself.

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Staying at Home

“I just want to stay at home, mom, I don’t like errands,” my son told me on the way out the door.

“Me either, baby, but sometimes we just gotta do it,” I said.

I hear this often from my kids… they just want to Stay at Home and Play. Sure we go places, we do things, we see people. We don’t hole up at home and lead boring lives.

Okay maybe we do lead boring lives. But here’s the kicker… the kids like it. Yesterday the kids made veggie and fruit stew, they ran through the water hose, they jumped on the trampoline, they made dirt pies, and they just played.

Why staying at home is good:

it’s free
kids don’t have to sit still and be quiet like they do in public
they are calmer and more at peace in familiar surroundings
they have the space and freedom to use their imagination

So all in all… kids aren’t as fancy as we think. Yes, they’re demanding and require a lot of physical and mental energy, but they are simple. They may act like they like the newest or latest toy, but we all know how that goes. Three days later they’re over it. Kids don’t necessarily like Big Grand Gestures…

They like simplicity and attention.

They like you.

How can I simplify my routines so my kids can enjoy our days more?

First of all, don’t shy away from including the things that need to happen in everyday life, like chores, errands, resting, etc. Make time to connect with your kids, to get necessary things done, and have fun. Read this blog post to get started on routines.

How do I know if my kids actually like routines?

Pay attention to their moods and attitudes when you have a day without your normal routines, like on vacation or on a fun day. Are they acting differently? Are they crankier than usual? Are they asking for things they normally do during the day? Most of the time, routines lead to happier kids even if they can’t vocalize it.

How To Create Family Routines That Work Without All The Stress

Do your family routines need some work? Here is how to create simple sustainable family routines the kids do willingly that are stress free.

A routine is, at its core, a bunch of things you do over and over again.

The truth of the matter is, as a mama, you pretty much end up doing the same things over and over again, whether you are purposeful about them or not.

Mom is brushing girls hair as part of family routines.

Everyone has to eat, have diaper changes, go to bed, and get dressed, to name a few. So, without well-oiled family routines, you end up doing all this stuff randomly and chaotically.

…and you are usually the one who has to micro-manage it all for everyone.

The whole point of routines is so you don’t have to do that.

If I had to micro-manage all 5 of my little ones daily hygiene, every day tasks, and responsibilities then I’d lose my mind.

Of course, as every mom does, I have to manage the environment of my home actively. Still, creating family routines the kids (and my husband) follow independently saves us all time and frustration.

Why family routines are important

So, here are some reasons that family routines are important.

They spread out family responsibilities to everyone in the home.
Chaos is cut down because everyone knows what to expect
Days are more predictable
You can make sure all that needs to be done, gets done routinely
Life feels more manageable

There are gobs more reasons, but we’ll start with those. 🙂

Read: New Year Life Skills That Matter For Kids

Baby boy is smiling because of family routines.

Where to start…

When my two oldest children were just out of the baby stage and into the toddler stage, I noticed that our mornings were getting a bit chaotic… All of the sudden, gone were our peaceful mornings and in was chaos and messes… everywhere! This is not how I wanted to start my day.

The routine I had of feeding and snuggling was no longer applicable to our morning schedule and I needed to make a change.

Here’s the ticket- when you feel a time of the day becomes chaotic or unorganized….it’s time to start a routine there.

I choose a family routine to replace our chaotic mornings because I wanted to spend quality time with my kiddos (I missed those feedings & snuggles) and I knew I didn’t want the chaos.

I decided that I would begin every morning by reading 4-5 short stories in our favorite reading chair together. This simple family routine made our mornings much easier.

Not only were my kids happier, but I found that my stress level went down because I was once again enjoying the company of my precious kiddos in the morning time.

Specific times of the day that can benefit from routines

Can you think of a time of the day you wish was less chaotic and stressful? If you answered yes, it may be time to start some family routines…

Here are some examples of different times that implementing a family routine may make your day easier:

First thing in the morning – Having a morning routine can help to get everyone ready and out the door, especially if you have multiple children.
Before school – If you don’t have a school ready routine in play, I highly recommend this for everyone’s sanity.
At the breakfast table – I have found that at the breakfast table, it’s especially nice to have an “older sibling helps the younger sibling” family routine.
After school – Nobody likes it when kids come in from school like a herd of wild animals. Kids should have an after school routine that incorporates manners and organization of their school necessities.
Free time – Even though it’s free time, it’s nice to have some core family routines in play for everyone’s safety.

Media time – If you allow your kid’s to use devices, a family routine could be essential for their safety and wellness.
Nap time – Having a family routine in play during this time make’s nap time much more manageable.
Meal times – Unless you like having to literally do everything yourself, look into some great family routines for meal times. You’ll be surprised how much your kids can help out!
Bedtime– Bedtime routines are absolutely essential for the manageability of this time, especially with multiple children at different ages.
Chore time– This goes beyond a simple chore chart and deals with more specific behavior requirements and expectations.

Read These While You’re At It

5 Daily Habits For Kids That Makes Your Life Easier

8 Things To Do The Same Time Every Day, Every Week

Kids’ Morning & Bedtime Routine Charts For Independent Kids

Evening Routines for Moms That Erase Stress and Give Peace

How to brainstorm

It’s time to get your day on track! Let’s brainstorm together…

The Family Routines Planner is here to help! It will help you brainstorm and plan your daily routines. Here are some tips to get you started:

First, begin by writing down the trouble points in your day. Then, write in that part of your day as a routine (create a new routine).

Next, if you have small kids, then using visual cues like the Printable Routine Cards For Toddlers, Preschoolers, & School Aged Kids can be a huge help!

One a routine has been taught, help the kid’s get involved with each step and test out its effectiveness. Remember, being flexible as time goes on may be key in the longevity of your routine.

How do you create a family routine?

Begin by pinpointing a time of your day that feels too chaotic and unorganized. Then, find that place in your Family Routines Planner and write in a plan for your routine during that time. Be sure to test it out with your family and make tweaks if necessary.

Why are routines important for a child?

Routines make children feel secure and confident. If a child is thriving in a routine, he or she will have a sense of safety and contentment. Also, children with strong routines are more apt to have good self esteem, take on responsibilities, and make predictable choices.

Do routines help anxiety for kids and adults?

Routines help keep anxiety down for kids and adults. Research shows that chaos and confusion can lead to stress. If particular times of the day are lacking routine, the chaos that follows can spark anxiety. Routines establish order and breed peace.

How do you simplify family life?

You can simplify family life by keeping a Family Routines Planner and being cognizant of when your day is lacking a routine. A routine is simply put, something that you do repeatedly. Make the things that you do over-and over-again meaningful and helpful to your day.

How can I make weekly routines to simply my life?

Do these things each week and check out this post on Sunday routines that can help get you organized for the week.

5 Instant Stress Busters For Overwhelmed Moms

If you find being a mom quite stressful and HATE that feeling of being out of control? Here are some stress busters you can do that’ll give you instant relief!

Now, I can see it coming.

I can feel it with about an hour’s warning.

It’s like I know… if everything keeps going like it is, then in about an hour I’m going to lose it. I’m probably going to yell and get mad and frustrated at dumb things.

I am going to be overwhelmed. And, I’m going to take it out on whoever is around me. Now… obvvvvviously I don’t think it’s a good thing to get so overwhelmed I struggle to be a nice person.

That’s why I am glad I can feel the red flags now.

When I’m about an hour or two away from a brief burnout, I will now try to do one of the following things.

Or two, if I’m lucky!

5 Immediate Stress Busters That Help You Feel Back In Control

So, before we dig in to the stress busters… one of the main reasons we can feel so overwhelmed is because we look at our circumstances and feel powerless.

Just as children act out when they feel powerless, so do we.

So, that’s why the following things help us feel less stressed nearly instantly — they give us back a feeling of personal power.

#1 – Throw Things Away

When I’m feeling stressed, I’ll grab a trash bag (even if I plan to donate, not throw away) and will go from room to room looking for things we no longer need. I’ll separate things to donate from things to trash, and I’ll get moving.

“Clutter is symptomatic of delayed decision making.” ― Cynthia Kyriazis

I make sure I don’t get rid of things we *actually* need just because I’m stressed, but I use the stress and overwhelm to motivate myself to do a little decluttering.

The last time I did this I wound up with an entire trash bag full of clothes that no longer fit my kids that I’m able to donate.

Truly, I felt instantly better. Lighter.

Decluttering might seem like a buzzword these days, but remember, research shows that the benefits of having a more clutter free environment are simply too beneficial to be ignored.

Read: Taking A Social Media & Phone Reset For The New Year

#2 – Clean Main Surfaces

For me, one stress trigger that is very powerful is seeing MESSES everywhere. It’s why our kids clean up their rooms (the South African way) a few times a day.

It’s why we do chores a few times every day.

True story: I can handle dust because you can’t actually see dust unless you’re up very close and it’s very rare that I’m up close with furniture. My husband – on the other hand – notices dust. He will ignore 5,325 things on the counters and see the crumbs. I will clean off all 5,325 things and ignore the crumbs. ??

clean countertop as a stress buster for moms

“Tidy people don’t over decorate. They value a cleared off surface more than a highly decorated surface.” The Nester

Honestly, having cleared off counters helps you feel visually organized and this gives an immediate sense of peace and power.

It’s true.

If you don’t believe me… go clean off your counters and tabletops then report back.

Family Practices & Contribution

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Family Tidy Routines

This workshop will help you build a simple 15-minute daily routine that fits into real life—so the house stays (mostly) clean and the kids finally learn to help. Because a clean home is a team effort, not a one-mom show.

Start Now

#3 – Do A House Sweep

One of the biggest areas of overwhelm for moms is the House. when we are feeling On The Verge, home-related stress busters go a long way.

A house sweep is when you quickly go from room to room and put things back to rights. If you have big baskets or toy organizers in each room as I do, then this is a cinch.

75% of the things on our floors are toys. Even your kids can clean up quickly and easily with this method.

Macro-organization = Giving everything a specific basket, drawer, or home

Micro organization = Organizing things within their specific baskets, drawers, or homes

Classifications by yours truly.

If you struggle with having an untidy home, I suggest you focus on macro-organization and do house sweeps. One nightly evening sweep keeps our home company ready within 15 minutes basically any time of the day.

Read: An Evening Sweep: The Easy Way To A Tidy Home

#4 – Get Take Out And Occupy Kids

Often we are brain fried around 4:00 p.m.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Most evenings are saved because I’ve planned our meals and the kids can go outside to release that energy, but on my emergency days when I’m super stressed… I will get take out and occupy the kids and I will not feel guilty about it.

Find healthy take out options in your area. You’ll feel a lot less guilty about getting take out if it’s more like a home cooked meal than fast food.
If you are more low tech like me, audio books are a good option. If you feel the need for this type of activity daily, books are a great way to get in read alouds. (Here’s a list of great Christian books for kids)
Schedule TV time here. If you have daily TV viewing, I’d suggest you put it into your routine during the times of day you’re most stressed. Don’t “waste” that screen time in the morning if you’re mainly stressed in the evenings.

Read: 5 Instant Ways To Get Hyper Kids To Settle Down

Boundaries & Behavior

0-5, 13-18, 6-12

Tech on Your Terms

The “Tech on Your Terms” workshop helps parents create a step-by-step technology introduction plan that aligns with their family values, is age-appropriate, and gradually increases their children’s tech access while maintaining parental boundaries.

Start Now

#5 – File Away (Or Throw Away) Papers

If you have a place (kitchen counter anyone?) that collects papers… do something with them.

Clearing out paperwork is extremely satisfying and helps clear your mind. Even if you don’t think about those papers all that often, the act of dealing with them automatically helps you feel productive, accomplished, and more peaceful.

Separate papers into three categories:

Papers that need action.
Papers that need to be filed.
And papers to be thrown away.

Read: My “Daily Escape” to a Quiet Place & Why It’s Necessary

Throw away all junk mail, magazines, or papers you’d *like* to do something with, but know you probably won’t. File papers that need to be filed because – while annoying – this isn’t actually hard.

Papers that require action are now left. If you can do it within 2 minutes, do it. If not, put into a pile and pencil in a time to finish these papers into your planner.

➡️The sooner you do it, the better you’ll feel.

Read: The Ultimate Guide To Having A Mother’s Helper You’ll Love

(Bonus!) Finish Something That’s Been Left Undone

THIS IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE stress buster.

I’m a doer and I’m driven to start a lot of projects. I’m also driven to finish.

This means that I have lots of projects spinning and always feel a low level of stress until they’re completed.

If you have a big list of projects, cross something off it.

The other day I was feeling about an hour out from a Mommy Breakdown.
I looked around at a few unfinished household projects and decided I would tackle one. I sent all the kids outside, got the stain, and worked fast to finish a bunch of wood that was on my project list.
The kids didn’t have any major crises and I finished that job. My mood turned immediately around.

Find your Thing, Mama!

These stress busters are things that instantly help me de-stress, but they may not work for you.

I am a DOER, so doing helps me.

If you are a BE-ER… I encourage you to find your equivalent of things that’ll help you to feel less stressed and less overwhelmed, so you can enjoy the family you love so much.

Go forth and conquer, friend!

What are some relaxing things I can do to de-stress?

Anything that rejuvenates you can relieve stress, like reading, meditating, taking a bath, going on a walk, or taking a nap.

Does self-care count as a stress buster?

Absolutely! Self-care activities like exercising, painting your nails, doing your hair or putting on makeup, or anything else you like to do to to take care of yourself. Self-care will oftentimes also prevent us from being stressed as quickly, which is a win-win!

Sources:

Factors affecting mothers happiness

How alone time leads to happiness

Risk factors for postnatal depression

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Hygge.

And what does hygge “feel like”?

11 Handy Ways to Do Hygge As a Family

Plan Your Year Checklist

Make It A Point, Not An Accident

Create Comfortable Meeting Places

Adjust Lighting

Plan Your Year Checklist

Go Phone Free

Be Present

Plan Your Year Checklist

Cook Together

Play Board Games

Look Through Old Photos

Weary Comfy Clothes

Plan Your Year Checklist

Have Hot Drinks

Put Away the Agenda

50+ Connection Questions

The power of facial expressions….

Teach kids about emotions & non-verbal communicating cues.

It’s not all about verbal language

So, how can facial expressions that show appreciation be taught?

50+ Connection Questions

1. Start by teaching about emotions

2. Assign emotions & model facial expressions that correctly show appreciation

Play some facial expression games

50+ Connection Questions

3. Finally, allow opportunity and practice

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Change Routines & Rhythms

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Do a Wardrobe Shift

Settle Into Your Main Family Spaces

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Look At & Revisit Your Cooking Habits

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

“Fallify” Your Books

Here are some books that I love that really speak to the season:

Read: All Time Best Thanksgiving Books For Kids & Adults

Bonus: Cozy Read

Routines To Cut Through The Crazy

Symptoms include:

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Benefits of A Mom Vacation

1. Patience returns

Self-Care Routine Tracker

2. Delight returns

3. Gives the kids a change of scenery

Self-Care Routine Tracker

4. Brings you back to your own identity

5. It’s for catching up too

Self-Care Routine Tracker

How to do a mom vacation on any budget

1. Get out a calendar

2. Reach out

3. Request it as a gift

Self-Care Routine Tracker

4. Think outside the box

5. Scour the deals

6. Do spend it if you’ve got it

Self-Care Routine Tracker

Tidy Routines CHECKLIST

Organized Stay At Home Moms Do These Things

They Major on the Majors, Minor on the Minors

Tidy Routines CHECKLIST

Organized moms have routines

Here are some routines that serve moms:

Organized mamas tidy regularly

Tidy Routines CHECKLIST

Organized SAHMs tend towards minimalism

They use calendars and reminders

Tidy Routines CHECKLIST

Finding Time Alone As A Mom

Schedule it in

Learn how to lock doors

Don’t throw the time you have into the black hole

Find outside help

Daily Mom Routines Checklist