All Posts

No-Drama Screen Wean

Cutting back on screens shouldn’t feel like a battle royale. This workshop gives you a simple, realistic plan to wean your kids off devices—without meltdowns, whining, or “I’m bored” on repeat. Because screen time limits should feel doable, not dreadful.

Start Now

2. We stopped letting him whine.

Sounds silly, but I just refused to let him. When he started to melt down, I said, “Stop whining now. Use words.” He’d start again and, louder than his whines, I’d say, “No whining. Say it or go lay down, calm down, and come back.” Sounds harsh, but I didn’t use a mean voice. I wasn’t angry. I, quite simply, did not allow the whining/crying/fussing.

And you know what? It worked! By saying no to the whining, he’d stop, take a few seconds to calm down and then say his request in his “normal voice.” And I’d honor his request. It was relentless for a day or two and then it just tapered off.

Sure, he’ll still whine on occasion – he’s 3 – but it has drastically reduced and now all it takes is a quick, “No whining, normal voice” for him to take a minute and self-regulate. Even a 3 year old can learn to self-regulate!

I still validate his feelings

Now, before you send me hate mail, I do validate his feelings. If he’s really feeling upset and having a hard time I’ll take him to the side and talk to him. I do not say things like “boys don’t cry.” It’s important he learns that if he doesn’t like his fork he can just go get a new one. There’s no need for a breakdown. I validate his thoughts and feelings by responding appropriately after he’s calmed himself down. Not by giving him whatever he wanted while whining the roof off.

I’m not trying to raise an emotionless man. Of course not! I want him to be free to share what’s going on with him.

But having a total meltdown at the kitchen counter because your grits didn’t cover the entire bottom of your bowl is not sharing your feelings. It’s pitching a fit.

Boundaries & Behavior

Bye, Bye Backtalk

Backtalk isn’t just annoying—it’s draining, discouraging, and makes even the simplest requests feel like full-blown negotiations. This workshop will give you a step-by-step plan to stop the constant pushback and start building respectful, two-way communication with your kids. Because when you know how to hold boundaries and help your child feel heard, the fight fizzles—and connection takes its place.

Start Now

Playdate Tips for Moms

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Quaker Oats for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine.

Quaker Oats sent us a play date kit complete with chewy bar snacks. I had two friends and their families over for a morning play date and adding that to the other boocoodles of play dates I’ve had over the years, here is my ultimate guide to hosting a play date.

Seems like a silly thing to write about. I mean honestly, how hard can a play date be? I’ll be honest… I used to avoid them like the plague. I love moms. I love kids. And I even like getting out of the house (sometimes), but often these so called play dates were chock full of work and stress and we all left cranky and I never thought they were worth it.

Of course it doesn’t have to be that way, so here are some ways to think about play dates so you actually look forward to them and maybe – just maybe – even institute weekly play dates.

1. Set yourself up for success.

Plan ahead for weather, snacks, diapers, location, and what exactly you plan (or don’t plan) on doing. I don’t mean take all the fun out of it, but don’t go to someone’s house with a pool without floaties, for example.

2. Go outside.

The best play dates I’ve gone on were outside. There’s a few reasons for this. The kids aren’t making a huge mess in your house or someone else’s. You can choose a fenced in area like a park or playground so you can actually chat with friends instead of chasing 18 month olds. And outside is just good. Plus they won’t spend the whole time fighting over toys.

3. Choose time of day wisely.

Afternoon play dates don’t happen for us because mine sleep in the afternoon. Sure they could skip a nap on occasion, but I’d hate to see how they behave at 3:30 pm with 6 other toddlers who have all missed their naps. That’s not a play date that’s community service.

Sticky Routines System

Giving you a step-by-step guide to overcome barriers and stick to the healthy routines you’ve committed to. Learn the mindsets and secrets disciplined moms use to run a tight ship🚢 (think, mornings, chores, homework, bedtime, self-care, etc.)

Start Now

4. Bring snacks.

I’m not big into letting kids snack all day long. Because of that I often forget to pack drinks and snacks because I think, “They’ll survive.” Which of course they will except I soon regret that idiot choice when everyone else is munching on snacks and mine are giving me dirty looks. Quaker Oats provided me with their Quaker® Chewy® Granola Bars which the kids loved. I didn’t know this, but they have 8 grams of whole grains in every bar and come in oatmeal raisin, s’ores, and chocolate chip flavors. Then for a drink I mixed White Grape Juice and Ginger Ale on the fly for some “fizzy.”

When we had our play date last week my friend actually made us moms Energy Bites that were awesome too. She’s given me her recipe which I’ll share because we snacked on these puppies for a few days in the refrigerator. Recipe below.

5. Prepare children on how to behave.

We think kids automatically know how to act all the time. They should be kind, courteous, yes ma’am, no ma’am, and share with smiles on their faces. In reality, they don’t always transfer what they know to happen at home with what should happen elsewhere. Remind about no hitting and kicking, etc. and be sure to give them boundaries. I’ve been known to say, “If you fight and whine and scream the whole time we’re leaving.” I look them in the eye when I say it and that’s enough for them to be on their best behavior. They do actually want to stay!

6. Do something where you aren’t the clown.

In the above picture we had a bubble machine, a boccie ball set, and all the normal toys in my “holding pen” in our back yard. The kids milled around and did their own thing and this is key. If you actually want to talk to your friends instead of refereeing every single thing going on, make sure there is stuff for the kids to do that doesn’t require your constant supervision.

7. Consider ages.

Most children will probably be similar ages on play dates during the week since older kids are in school. Kids will play better with others around their age and do realize that the 18 – 2 year old phase where they think every thing they set their eyes on belongs to them. Knowing what to expect will make things run smoother.

Setting Your Family Pace

Family life shouldn’t feel like a constant race. This workshop helps you build a balanced, sustainable pace that handles responsibilities while making space for rest, connection, and what really matters.

Start Now

8. Take away troublesome toys.

Becky mentioned one way to cut down on sibling rivalry is to take away toys being fought over. This is true for play dates as well. If there’s a toy or activity they are all fighting over, can’t share, and are requiring your constant timer using supervision, just take the temptation away.

9. Find a cooperative activity.

In the play pack Quaker Oats sent my way they included a puzzle. We went outside so didn’t play this that day, but it turned into a great activity for my kids. Because they could cooperate while doing something together there was little fighting. Having an activity or game that includes everyone where they work together will help cut back on fighting. This may be as simple as building a sandcastle or painting a long butcher roll of paper.

10. Have set times.

This is particularly important if you’re having people over. By setting a clear time, say, 10:00 am – 12:00 pm, you’ll be able to organize your morning and not feel bad when you start cleaning up around the kids as noon gets near. You don’t want a play date to become a stressful thing, and if you feel that you’re having to kick out others then you’ll be less likely to host again. Plus, the shorter they are the more you look forward to the next one. 🙂

Energy Bites

1 cup Quaker rolled oats
1 cup coconut
1/2 cup ground flaxseed or 1/2 cup crushed sunflower seeds
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup local raw honey
1 tsp vanilla

Mix together into balls and refrigerate.

Play date Giveaway and Chance to Win $25,000 Play Space Makeover

Quaker is providing the prizes for this program at no cost to me. This program is not administered or sponsored by Quaker or its affiliates, but solely by my blog, A Mother Far from Home.

1. Play date kit.

Quaker Oats has provided me with a play date kit ($100 value) to give away to one reader! I love this because this is a kit that keeps on giving long past the first play date. Oh, and for the bubble maker after you’ve run out of bubble juice you can dilute dish soap with water and it will keep on going :). To win, leave a comment below with your best tip for play dates and the winner will be chosen at random.

2. $25,000 play space makeover

Visit the www.ChewyKeepPlaying.com and enter for a chance to win that money to makeover some area in your home where the kids play. To enter you submit a photo of your family’s favorite play space and share how you’d like to see it made over and why.

How To Know You’re Making Good Parenting Decisions (Even If Others Disagree)

Ever wondered if you’re making the right decisions with your family and your kids? Here’s how to feel confident with your parenting choices even if others disagree.

It’s so important to feel confident in our parenting choices instead of second-guessing ourselves all the time.

Here’s how you can know you are making good decisions for your family, even if they are different than others.

Plain and simple.

The reason mommy wars exist is because we all want to do the perfectly right thing for each of our children and – when faced with others who do things differently – we feel fear, then insecurity, and then we judge.

If people would just let that sink in everyone would stop shaming and hating.

And just be happy with their own choices. But people can’t be happy with their own choices if they think their choices are wrong because, after all, the kids are at stake here.

So I’m here with one surefire and easy way to tell if you are making the right parenting choices in your own family.

Because once you know you’re making good decisions – I mean once you really know it in your heart, not just your head – you won’t feel the need to enter into any type of parenting debate.

It won’t matter.

There’ll be no reason to go out of your way to be mean because, quite simply, you are happy with your home and that’s that.

So here it is…

The litmus test you’ve been waiting for…

I mean, go get a cup of coffee so you can contemplate deep thoughts after this…

And let go of years of guilt…

Or perhaps realize that others were right?

“Wisdom is shown to be right by its results.” Matthew 11:19

There’s more to that verse and passage, but I’m going to simply take this truth and break it down to say this:

If your choices bear good fruit, they are good. If they do not, you might choose differently.

By now y’all know I’m a routine gal. A Type-A mom. I make it a point to promote good sleeping habits and do not reinforce bad ones.

I don’t identify with any particular type of parenting. I’m a mishmash of many things. I am a mom of order and yet I am very free range in my thoughts.

And I used to come up against other opinions, articles, suggestions, and strategies for parenting that were very different from mine and I’d feel insecure.

Worried. Am I screwing them up?

Until I read that passage one day in my devotion and I felt simultaneous waves and floods of relief and guilt wash away. Why?

5 Things You Think Kids Hate, but They Actually Love

If Mama Ain’t Happy: Boundaries For Moms

Boundaries aren’t harsh or selfish. They protect your energy, peace, and sanity so you can show up as the mom you want to be. This workshop helps you figure out where you need them, set them with confidence, and stick to them without guilt or burnout. Because when you hold your limits, everyone benefits.

Start Now

Because I get good results.

Of course, all my choices aren’t great. I wish. But the overall canon of my parenting philosophy is producing happy, obedient (most of the time), confident kids.

So here’s how we can apply this to our own choices.

What kind of fruit do we see for a particular choice?

If you start feeling guilt or concern you are doing it wrong in a certain area, stop for a minute and think about the results. Let’s use discipline as an example. It’s a very widespread thing now to forget about time out because it doesn’t work.

I’m fine with that completely except, in our home, it does work. I don’t shove them in some dark room and “make them pay.”

But if I sit them down to calm down, have a think and give us time to calm down, then it actually does change their behavior. Call that “time out” or “time in” or whatever.

It works for us. The fruit is good.

Maybe they are right.

I’d rather stay popular and leave this out, but honestly, it’s important. Sometimes other people are right and you just can’t see it.

This happens to me, you, and everyone else under the sun.

If you are trying a certain method to get your child to demonstrate less angry and aggressive behavior, and it doesn’t work, then it’s time to try something new.

The fruit of that method isn’t good.

Doesn’t mean you’re “wrong” or a bad mother or whatever else you say while feeling defensive. It just means that a particular choice is not wise and you could improve upon it.

It may mean you stop being so firm and employ positive parenting solutions.

Or it may mean you become more firm and resolute. Look at the fruit and let it guide you.

Read These While You’re At It

5 Things You Think Your Kids Can Do That They Can’t — And Vice Versa

7 Phrases to Encourage Independence in Toddlers and Preschoolers

Here are some simple no drama solutions for your child's behavior problems

Child Behavior Problems: A No-Drama Approach That Works

Where does this apply?

If you feel that mom guilt we so often suffer from, here are a few areas you can begin to let your fruit guide you.

Nursing / feeding / weaning choices

Is your baby nourished and thriving? Good. If you are breastfeeding, but don’t produce enough milk then wisdom would say to supplement.

If you are formula feeding and your baby is constantly chronically upset then wisdom would say to find a new one. That’s it.

Read These While You’re At It

Anxiety, Sadness, Crawling Out Of Skin, etc. When Nursing – How to Cope

Breastfeeding Techniques: Step-By-Step (With Pictures!)

A 7 Month Old Feeding Schedule That Works Like A Charm

A Printable Newborn Feeding Chart That Works Like A Charm

Cluster Feeding Newborns: Do’s & Dont’s (& How To Do It Right)

Gentle parenting or not.

I’m against labeling yourself unless it helps you find resources that best fit your values. If that’s the case, good. If you feel compelled to lean into one type or another, I’d ask yourself why.

Where does the lack of confidence come from?
Are your methods not quite working? What about them aren’t working?
Is there a specific issue you are dealing with?

Read These While You’re At It

5 Counter Intuitive Mindsets To Lessen The Stress Of Motherhood

5 Instant Stress Busters For Overwhelmed Moms

5 Signs You May Be A Depressed Mom–And How To Start Feeling Better

5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember

Sleeping issues.

Y’all know I talk about sleep a lot and share my thoughts. But if you are doing the exact opposite of everything I say and have a well-rested baby, that’s good fruit.

Keep it up. If your routine has worked and no longer does, change it up and find the good fruit again. Co-sleep or put them in their crib or wear them or whatever you decide produces good fruit.

Screen time.

Aside from the general guidelines put forth by research, use your head. I’ve found even an hour of screen time for my 3-year-old son makes him whiny and aggressive so we only do screen time on weekends.

Is screen time the devil? No. Does it produce good fruit in my home? No. At least, not what he was watching. Yours might watch some educational videos for an hour a day and see good fruit. Keep it up.

I could go on and on and on.

But I’m hoping you get the picture by now. It’s not about one general way that is best for every single person and we best fall into line now or all our kids will end up paying $150 an hour to some psychologist in 30 years. (Note to self: tell all my kids to go into psychology)

Does your child have curly hair?

No-Drama Screen Wean

Start Now

It’s about the fruit in our own homes.

The fruit in our own hearts and lives.

The fruit in our children’s lives.

Keep up what is causing good fruit. Change what is causing bad fruit.

And I promise you, you’ll no longer be threatened by what other people do differently.

How to help your daughter “grow into” her curls

Does your daughter have curly hair? I had a big mop of curly hair growing up and it actually took years before I was able to grow into it. Or at least before I was able to fully appreciate it. Here’s how you can help your daughter to grow into her hair.

I used to say that I should have been a grown up in the 80’s. I mean really. Some of those ladies worked hard to get their hair to look poofy, frizzy, and wavy. All I would have had to do is brush my curly mop! From when I turned 5 or so, my hair was always just very… big. It was bigger than my head and different than my mother’s and neither of us knew how to do it. It wasn’t until I became a teenager that I realized the most important curly hair rule in the book

You don’t brush curly hair.

When I finally learned how to do it, I actually started to like my hair. Unless it was super humid, I actually enjoyed having curly red hair. And I think part of it was maturing and part of it was because I figured out how to make it look nice.

So far my daughter is not taking after me. She’s blonde and her hair is straight. Her hair is easy to do, brushes smooth, and she walks out the door. And that’s part of the pain if curly hair… you actually have to do it or it doesn’t seem to look right. But, when you find out how to wrangle it, it’s so beautiful. And not only that, it’s special.

Here’s how to help your daughter come to terms with her curls.

1. Give the “grass is always greener” talk

There are straighteners because curly-haired people want straight hair. And there are curling irons because straight haired people want curly hair. The grass is greener if we let it be. Encourage your daughter that it’s normal to look at others who are different and think that’s somehow “better.” But the key is not to get too bogged down in this and stew on it. Also, if she’s fixating on her hair then give her something else to focus on. When we are focusing on others slowly our vanity gets put into its place.

Growing Up & Life Transitions

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Taking care of your mental health shouldn’t feel like another chore. This workshop shows you how to build simple, sustainable routines that support your well-being and your kid’s emotional health—without the stress or overthinking.

Start Now

2. Help her learn how she likes it

If you have straight hair and your daughter has curly hair then you may have trouble knowing how to care for it at first. But don’t worry, there are tons of resources for curly haired gals to get to know their hair. Here are some of my top tips for caring for your curls.

Don’t brush it, ever, unless you’re planning on blow drying the hair or bringing back the 80’s mane. Brushing separates the curls and makes hair frizzy instead of curly.
Create her desired part in the shower. Then later when air or blow drying, don’t mess with the part. This helps prevent separating the curls.
After showering, use the towel to blot dry your daughter’s hair, but avoid putting the head upside down and loosening and separating all the curls.
If her curls look great drying naturally with no products – hallelujah! If they need a little something, find some good curly-haired products that can bring out the best. Dove Hair has shampoo, conditioner, and lots of other products for curly hair here. I’ve used the products (pictured below) and love both their smell and texture.

3. Show her pictures and people

If your daughter is struggling with her curly head then show her photos of other women with beautiful curly hair. Curly hair – like red hair – may not be the norm, but it’s certainly not rare. Point out women with curly hair you know she’d appreciate. If she likes art, find curly haired artists. If she’s into sports, find sporty girls with curls. You get the picture. Help normalize it and give her someone who embraces their hair to look up to.

Peer Pressure Proof

You can’t bubble-wrap your kid from peer pressure—but you can teach them to stand tall when it hits. This workshop shows you how to raise a kid who says “no,” sticks to their values, and makes smart choices—even when friends push the wrong way. Because we’re not raising people-pleasers—we’re raising kids who know who they are and act like it.

Start Now

4. Speak positively about curly hair

Dove Hair did a study and found that only 4 in 10 little curly haired girls thought their hair was beautiful. And this discontent obviously increased with age because only 10% of women with curly hair feel proud of that hair. Who knows whether it’s the current hair trends or not wanting to “stand out” as curly hair can make us do? Either way, it’s important that you speak positively about your daughter’s hair. Don’t complain about how it’s hard to do, hard to brush, unruly, wild, or crazy. It will make her feel even more insecure and she’ll spend her days hating it.

Create your own curly hair book

When I received my package from Dove Hair, I began using my products immediately and still am to this day. While my daughter doesn’t have curly hair, we spent time looking through the book and talking about her own hair. She just wants it long enough to put in an Elsa braid so, she’s not quite at the age where she is comparing her own appearance to others.

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

How To Have A Kid Friendly Home That’s Well Decorated

I have followed Emily’s decorating blog for years. If you’d love a kid friendly home that’s well decorated, stylish, uncluttered, and organized, these tips will help you get your home where you want it.

I’ve asked Emily a few questions and her answers are below.

Q: Tell us something very interesting (or very uninteresting) about your family!

Our twins were a complete surprise. We had three kids and had just moved into a slightly smaller house when I found out I was pregnant again. There are no twins anywhere in either of our families, so to say we were shocked is an understatement. But, what a blessing they have been!

Q: What’s the most surprising thing about becoming a mother?

That I would ever have the ability to eat breakfast while changing a dirty diaper. That I would encourage someone to wipe their snot on my t-shirt. That I would bite someone else’e fingernail when necessary. (Is that TMI?!) The (gross) things you learn to do and think nothing of it are pretty amazing. 🙂

Q: What’s your philosophy about decorating the home when you have small kids (a.k.a. little destroyers) afoot?

I would say to relax (as much as possible) and to not buy anything that you can’t imagine being broken at some point. Nothing is too precious in our house; most of our furniture is from Craigslist. I think it’s about setting some semi-realistic expectations. I know that this is not the season in my life to buy nice things—if I want to keep them.

Family Tidy Routines

This workshop will help you build a simple 15-minute daily routine that fits into real life—so the house stays (mostly) clean and the kids finally learn to help. Because a clean home is a team effort, not a one-mom show.

Start Now

Q: What’s your process for decorating kid and common areas? Any specific “rules?”

I don’t think there are rules, but I do think storage is a must—pretty baskets, furniture pieces with lots of drawer storage, etc. Things aren’t perfectly organized in our house, by any means, but there’s plenty of places to hide things away quickly.

Q: Your home looks so beautiful on your blog, is that how it looks behind the scenes too?

Umm, what do you think?! I’m just thankful that toys can be pushed to the side for “coffee table styling” and that sticky floors don’t show up in photographs. While I’m cleaning up one mess, they’re creating a bigger, better one somewhere else. I’m drowning! Ha!

Spring Cleaning Isn’t Just for Parents

No Nag Chore Routines

Getting kids to do chores shouldn’t be a daily battle. Let me help you build a simple, age-appropriate system that teaches independence, teamwork, and responsibility—without constant micromanaging. Because a well-run home isn’t about doing it all yourself.

Start Now

Q: One piece of advice for busy moms of little ones who want their homes to look good, but aren’t sure where to start?

Paint something. Your walls, a piece of furniture. Paint is an instant—and inexpensive—change that you can make, and it won’t get destroyed by the kids.

Here are some cool things to browse on Emily’s blog.

Read: Speed Cleaning With Kids

Is sleep a priority for you?

I wrote a few weeks on on my experience in the Sleep Number store and this post is going to talk about some of the features my husband and I really like in these beds. We are trying to determine what we want/need/can afford and are already planning to get a new mattress since the one we’re working on is, oh I don’t know, so old it’s main material is probably mold. This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Sleep Number. All opinions are 100% mine.

Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. William Blake

30 days?

So by now y’all know that I’m serious about sleep. In fact, since the beginning of May, I’ve started going to bed at 9:30 pm every night! Did you know that May is actually Better Sleep Month? If you didn’t, then get on this!

My baby just turned 4 months and was down to one early morning feed, but is now going through a growth spurt. I simply can’t function well enough to be trusted with my kids if I’m not adequately rested.

Previously I’ve written on how to encourage kids to sleep in and take longer naps, how to help tired moms sleep better, longer, and more, and practical ways to help a tired mama cope. There are more, but you get the idea. You’ll feel better, act nicer, and have more patience if you aren’t about to fall asleep standing up while sweeping the floor.

I’ve committed to going to bed as early as I can (or as early as I need to) for all of May and on into the summer if I need it to catch up on my sleep deficit. I encourage you to do the same and tell me in the comments what your sleeping habits are!

Last month I had the opportunity to go into a Sleep Number store in Alabama. Now, I am one of those blessed people who goes to sleep as soon as their head hits the pillow, but I know that’s not how it is for everyone. Some people’s minds wander, they feel anxious or worried, and their physical comfort is paramount to help them actually fall asleep and stay that way.

Since having visited the sleep number store and discussing how we’re going to save up for one in the near(ish) future we’ve spoken with a lot of people who already own one and love it. This post is going to give some of the features that most interested me and/or my husband. Ha. Note that these beds are like Build-A-Beds, meaning you can customize each of the available mattresses to have various features and you can mix-n-match until you’ve found what you want.

Read These While You’re At It

How I Beat My Postpartum Sugar Addiction Baby Gifts for Someone Who Has Everything

A weary mother’s love letter to her pillow

Expecting mother must haves for the yummy newborn phase

What expecting mothers need for the newborn phase

1. It’s personal

It’s safe to say most couples don’t need the exact same level of hardness or softness to sleep well. When you enter a Sleep Number store they’ll let you test a mattress to discover your sleep number. This number is based on your body, its sleeping position, and where the most pressure is put on you. You can watch the screen as the mattress adjusts to your body so as to accommodate those areas where your body is feeling pressure, like the lower back.

After that, you’re assigned a SleepIQ® technology. What’s good about this is that both you and your husband can adjust the mattress to how you like it on your own side of the bed. And you can also track it each evening using an app. It’s easy as sleeping. There’s nothing to wear, nothing to turn on.

2. It’s cool

This was actually what I thought was the most interesting feature of the sleep number beds personally. You can choose a mattress, or buy a separate layer to put on top, that uses a gel technology with a memory foam to actually make the bed feel cool. This feature is called CoolFit™. When you lie down on the bed the sheets are cool to the touch! I have it firsthand that this is great for both menopausal women and those with joint issues like Fibromyalgia.

This is part of the reason I like staying in nice hotels. When the room is crisp and you get into the bed, the sheets are clean and the bed feels cool. I think this is a neat feature, probably because I live in Florida and for half the year it’s hot hot hot.

3. It’s also hot

Most beds can be outfitted with DualAir™ technology which is used to both heat and cool the bed depending on your preference. You can also heat one side and cool the other! I can’t get into too much detail because I studied Liberal Arts, people, but it’s an active air technology that is controlled by wireless remote. So on cold winter nights you can set the bed to warm so it’ll be cozy and waiting for you. Or on hot summer’s nights you can set it to cool.

4. It moves

This was one of the first features my husband noticed and, while it’s not strictly necessary, it’s really fun. You can buy the bed to be separated at the top so you can raise the head of the mattress on one side, but not the other. So, say, you go to bed at 9:30 pm like some tall redhead currently typing this, and your husband likes to stay up later to read. This would mean you could lay down and go to sleep and his side of the bed could be raised to a more comfortable sitting position. Same with the feet. I’d say this might mean you watch too much TV in bed because, but hey, it’s more comfy than the couch.

So these were the things that stood out to us at the store. I’m 5’10” and my husband is 6’3″ so we’re leaning towards a King size bed with a CoolFit™ foam layer. Neither of us have ever had a “good” mattress, so we’re counting our pennies and dreaming (maybe literally?) of the day they bring it in and set it up. I’d like all the other bells and whistles, but it’s not where we’re at right now.

Win your own sleep experience!

I’d love to know how you are going to #CommitToSleep! Leave a comment or post on social media how you plan on using May (Better Sleep Month) as encouragement to start sorting out your sleep :). Use the hashtag #CommitToSleep to share.

Sleep Number (find your nearest sleep store with the Sleep Number store locator) currently has their own sweepstakes going where you can enter for a chance to win a sleep experience (valued at $15,000). You can enter by sharing your goals for sleep on Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #CommitToSleepSweeps. Enter the sweepstakes here.

Cleaning the House with a Toddler is Like…

I asked and moms delivered. I know you want to Keep a Tidy House with Small Children, but here’s why it’s hard! Here is what cleaning the house with a toddler is like…

We all know that cleaning the house is just something that must be done. Mostly because toddlers make such a huge mess ALL. DAY. LONG.

And…as with all moms, my day is full and busy… There’s always something to be done.

The truth is: I want my kids to help. I don’t want them to be lazy pre-teen children who don’t know how to clean.

So… I started them early. I believe that we must teach them to be enthusiastic about cleaning when they are young.

There are things Even My 2 and 3 Year Old Children can do to help. And I let them! I am a Tired Mom, after all.

However, that doesn’t mean letting them help is easy or even necessarily productive. The other day I asked the readers on my Facebook Page the following question, and between them and me… these are the answers.

Read These While You’re At It

4 Reasons It’s Hard for Moms To Teach Their Kids To Clean

Moms… Quit Being a Servant, Be a CEO

A Doable Weekly Cleaning Schedule For Busy Moms

Big List of Chores 2 & 3 Year-Olds Can Do On Their Own

Cleaning the house with a toddler is like…

First of all…a stealthy ninja. Oh, my goodness. Love it!

And she’s right. Kids will migrate to where its clean and looks more fun to play… the clean stuff looks cool.

Now… no more sword fighting with the swiller.

Secondly, the job that never ends. This couldn’t be more true. Anyone with toddlers can tell ya’…

Now that song is stuck in my heard. I think I’m going to sing it next time I’m picking up the same sock off the floor for the one millionth time that day.

No Nag Chore Routines

Start Now

What else is cleaning the house with a toddler like? Love these:

Quick sand. Yep. Been there and felt that! Lord, please help me to come out with some sanity left!

One friend said it this way: It’s like shoveling snow in a blizzard.

Or it’s like…

Yes, a tornado that involves food and clothes, and toys… oh my! The triple whammy– I often say “what in the world is this doing here?” or “how did this get in the…?”

A toddler when it comes to cleaning house… do they get it?

One mom said that it’s like becoming a broken record, you will have to ask them repetitively in order to get your toddler to help you.

Another said it this way:

I love this one: Cleaning house with a toddler is like wishing, I had octopus arms!! And an extra washer and dryer!!

Now, ain’t that that truth! How much easier would it be to clean with 8 arms!

That’s a word picture for sure. A blender without a lid on spills and splats onto everything. In other words, there is no surface untouched.

Consequently, nothing is safe or clean or sacred… it’s all touched by the tornado toddler. Yep!

I’ve been there for sure. Have I already done that? Wait… I though I just picked that up. Haha! And I wonder sometimes If I’m loosing it…

Nope, just my toddler coming right behind me and undoing my tidying. Good times. 😉

Things large families need in their kitchen

Family Tidy Routines

Start Now

Here are some more good ones: Cleaning house with a toddler is like…

trying to go down an escalator.
straightening your hair with curlers in humidity!
flipping a coin. Sometimes you get what you called and other times not.
trying to clean a landfill.
bad for my patience level.
smashing your head against a brick wall.
having a mini-assistant who keeps you laughing. 🙂

So, in short, cleaning the house with a toddler is like investing. You get nothing now and just hope for the best! Do you have any to add?

Read These While You’re At It

What happens in a bathroom with toddlers

How To Rock Dinnertime With Small Children Managing children close together in age throughout the day

Sources:

Things large families need in their kitchen

Got a lot of kids to cook for? Here are some dishes and appliances that every large family needs to help streamline their cooking. Post contains affiliate links.

Now, I only have 4 kids. One of them is still only exclusively breastfed. So… before you tell me that large families probably have at least 5 kids or more I’ll say that I agree with that.

However, even cooking for my 3 kids (who eat a lot), my husband, and other family members nearly daily I’m going to tell you that I am running into a problem.

Actually a few.

It takes a lot of food to fill that many people.

It takes bigger dishes to get the job done.

I don’t own all these things yet, but I am budgeting for these and other ways to bump up my game in the future.

1. 4 piece toaster

We’ve only ever had a 2 piece toaster and when you run out of cereal, grits, and fruit then we have toast. It takes about ten minutes to make toast for everyone with a 2 piece, but this 4 piece cuts the wait time. Then you let your kids spread their own butter and jelly (since even 2 and 3 year olds can do that for themselves) and you’re golden.

2. Big dutch oven or casserole dish

If you make a lot of casseroles, potluck dishes, or one pot meals you need a big casserole dish. I personally love dishes that have lids like this one. These are handy if you need to cook and then bring your meal to someone else’s house or church, etc.

Rooted in Family

Family life shouldn’t feel like a blur of to-do lists that leave you wondering if the memories are even sticking. This workshop helps you define your family’s core values and create simple, meaningful traditions that bring everyone closer without adding pressure.

Start Now

3. Baking dish

But not just any baking dish, mind you. There are baking dishes and there are baking dishes. This is a 4.8 quart baking dish and is 15 x 10 inches which fits quite a lot more than you’d imagine. With basic 9 x 13 dishes everyone only gets one helping, if that, and there’s never any left to freeze.

4. Cast iron skillet

I love cast iron skillets and cook most stove top meals on one of the few we have. This above is a 17″ cast iron skillet with two handles which is important. I have one that’s large but with a handle and I can barely pick it up with two hands, much less one.

5. Large crock pot

Large families need large slow cookers! Those small crock pots are great to make dips or small deserts, but to make dinner for everyone a big one is in order. I have a slow cooker right now that has been around for years and I use it a few times a week when I’ve meal planned well.

6. Food processor

I use food processors a lot when I’m in a homemade baby food phase, but what I’m coming to realize is that to be able to cook enough to fill their bellies (and afford to cook it) I’ve got to start making more from scratch. Food processors are very useful when making sauces, mixes, rubs etc. as well.

Setting Your Family Pace

Start Now

7. Jumbo fryer

I used to attempt to make spaghetti sauce to eat on for a while and save, but never quite had a pan that was big enough. If you want to cook one pot meals – which I highly recommend – this big fryer will fit a lot of ingredients for still a lot of people.

8. Mega muffin pan

This is not mini muffins, either. These are good for cupcakes, muffins, or even little breakfast or taco cups. Instead of putting in two different muffin pans you can do double with this one pan.

9. Food Storage Sets

The above is a Rubbermaid storage set, but I just recommend having any type that will seal, store, and freeze. Our freezer and fridge are full of leftovers and my mother – God love her – came over and matched all the tupperware so the bottoms and lids have corresponding numbers. We have so many and this really helps make it easy to find lids!

This is what infertility feels like

Today I have Jenn sharing her experience with infertility. Even if you’ve never experienced infertility firsthand, I recommend reading this post. You never know when it may help you be a better listener and friend.

I can remember so clearly the first few months we tried to get pregnant. I was so excited to start this new chapter in our lives. I didn’t really have any worries about it working, it was just going to be a matter of when. Maybe not the first try, but within a few months I was sure I would get pregnant. My husband and I were in our late 20’s, and in great health, so I didn’t think we would run into a problem. And I always had fairly regular cycles, so I thought that meant having babies would be easy.Each month when I would see the negative pregnancy test, I was sad, but hopeful for the next time we could try. I just thought, “hey, it didn’t work this time, next time for sure!“. I was naive to think that we wouldn’t have a problem. The truth is, I didn’t really know anyone that had faced any kind of infertility, so I didn’t know how common it was. At the time, only a couple of our close friends had babies, and they got pregnant naturally, very easily, so it just wasn’t something on my radar. I thought having the baby was the hard part, not conceiving it!

Infertility feels out of control.

All of my life I had dreamed of being a mommy and having my own family. Having a family is what was next on our list, and I am a list person! I found my soul mate, had a beautiful wedding and start of our marriage, and this was what our next life event would be. I am a planner, and if you’re anything like me, you like to know what is next and be prepared for it.

I was not prepared for this. As someone who likes to have things organized and in control, this threw me way off course. I could plan as much as I wanted, but this was something that I had absolutely no say in. I had to wait. I had to learn to give up the need to control the situation, and every aspect of our lives for that matter.

Infertility feels hopeless.

A friend of mine told me that she was pregnant, and that she had to see a fertility doctor and take Clomid to make it happen. That got me thinking and I decided to make an appointment to get checked. When we went to that second fertility appointment and the doctor told us we would never get pregnant naturally, I was crushed. I felt like everything I had ever dreamed of was being taken away.

The doctor told me, “I’m going to get you pregnant, I just don’t know what it’s going to take.” Well, I didn’t believe him. He was so confident saying that, but I didn’t believe him. I thought there was still a chance that the upcoming treatments he told us about wouldn’t work, and we wouldn’t be able to have our own babies. I had some hope when he told me that, but my fear of it not working outweighed my hope that it would.

Infertility feels like everyone around you is getting pregnant.

It may not be true, but it feels like it. Someone is always posting an announcement on Facebook that they are pregnant, or that their baby has been born. For me, I felt happy for them, but it was a constant reminder of our situation and I felt like I couldn’t get away from it. Everywhere I turned, someone was getting pregnant. It hurt to hear people say that they got pregnant on accident, or that they didn’t plan on this happening.

They had to come to terms with accepting having a baby on the way, and here I was trying to wait patiently for it to happen to me, knowing I would be so thankful when it finally did. People would tell me about how they got pregnant on accident, or to watch out because it’s “in the water”. All I kept thinking was if only they really knew what we were going through.

Weary To Well

This 10-day reset will help you uncover what’s wearing you down (spoiler: it’s not just lack of sleep), set boundaries without guilt, and finally create space to breathe again. Because burnout isn’t your personality—it’s a signal things need to change.

Start Now

Infertility feels like no one around you understands what you are going through.

If you’ve gotten pregnant easily, or haven’t had the desire to start a family yet, you really don’t understand how hard it is to wait two weeks and see a negative pregnancy test, month after month. If you’ve gotten pregnant easily, be thankful for that! When you decide that you want a family, and you start trying for one, every month is more devastating than the last when the results continue to be negative.

The dream of having a family and having your own baby becomes a little but more distant and the idea that it might not ever happen starts to take over your thoughts. If I would have known for sure that it would happen, I probably would have been able to deal with the wait more easily. It’s the idea that it may not happen that is so devastating.

Infertility feels like you are broken.

I remember feeling like my body was failing me. Like it didn’t know how to do its job correctly. I felt broken at such a young age, and I felt like a failure for not being able to make my parents a grand baby to love, since I know they were very much looking forward to that. Through infertility and my difficult pregnancy, I remember continually thinking that my body was useless and couldn’t do anything right.

I had to come to terms with the fact that I could not change the problems my husband and I had, and that it wasn’t our fault. Our road to getting pregnant was just going to be different than others. There wasn’t some underlying moral reason we weren’t getting pregnant, it was because our reproductive systems had a problem that needs treatment. Just as you would treat cancer if you were diagnosed, we needed treatments to get pregnant.

Infertility feels like a constant reminder that life is not fair.

Why do these trials happen to some people, while others get pregnant so easily, or accidentally? My husband and I were ready to be parents, ready to get started raising our small people into this world. Other people get pregnant with one night stands, have abortions, do it for the wrong motives, but us, we were ready! So why did we have to wait? It’s the classic case of “life’s not fair.”

Infertility feels lonely.

For us, we didn’t tell many people what we were going through, so I couldn’t expect anyone to be sensitive to the situation. It was really hard to be around friends and act like everything was fine, and then go home and cry my eyes out. I knew if I told more people, I would feel more pressure, and I didn’t want to have to talk about it all the time. Being around people that didn’t know what was going on forced me to talk about other things and helped to distract me from my anxiety, so in that sense, it was good. If you’re dealing with infertility, talk to someone!

It doesn’t mean you have to tell everyone you know, I certainly didn’t, but it makes it easier to deal with when you have a couple close friends that know you well, and can be good listeners. I’m so thankful for the friends that helped me through our infertility and crazy pregnancy.

Our journey of infertility changed who I am. It has made me a more compassionate and sensitive person and it has made me cherish my daughter so much more. I really do feel like it was and always will be a major turning point in my life. It made me question everything, and in turn strengthened my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the opportunity to learn to trust in Him for everything and be able to help others through it as well.

It made me realize what is really important and meaningful in life. It really taught me a lot about myself and my husband. Infertility made us appreciate pregnancy and our child so much more. That doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate a child without going through infertility, but for us it made us want and appreciate her that much more because of how much we went through to get her.Anything worthwhile is always worth waiting for.

Family and children are always worth the wait. When that baby is born and you hold them in your arms for the first time, every second of the wait before them feels like it just vanishes. It is worth every second. In my case, it was worth every shot, every doctors appointment, every tear, and every negative test. If you are dealing with infertility, confide in a close friend or family member. For me, it was easier to tell all of the details to just a few people instead of general updates to many people.

I read a lot of stories on blogs and forums that helped me through the situation. Reading other people’s thoughts and journeys was one of the most helpful things for me to do, which is exactly why I made this blog. Talk to someone, do your research on treatments, and be open with your doctors. Infertility is an emotional time and it’s important to be open with your partner about your feelings. Because of our years of struggle, my husband and I have an even stronger bond now that I am so thankful for, especially going into the world of parenting.

Thank you so much, Jenn, for telling your story. Everyone’s story is different and I’m happy Jenn was brave enough and willing to share.

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Start Now

Why we must learn to take a compliment for our children

I’ve long thought this topic, but Becky’s beautiful post recently brought it to the forefront again. The need for us to learn to take a compliment for the sake of our children.

learn to take a compliment for your daughters sake

Compliment (n): a polite expression of praise or admiration.

I realized years ago it’s hard to take a compliment. Not for everyone, I’m sure, but it is for many people. And it’s not always because we don’t think we’re worthy of a compliment or because we are being fake humble. It’s just hard to look someone else in the eye and say, “thanks.”

Even so, we need to learn to do it. It’s good for ourselves and good for our daughters (and sons too, okay, but I’m speaking from the perspective of a woman so I’m focusing on daughters here).

1. It’s just honest.

There are times when I do something well and I know it. Not because I’m conceited but because it’s just the truth. Fobbing off those comments or answering with self-deprecation is really just sort of… well… lying. You actually spend a bit of time getting dressed today, then you go for a walk. Your neighbor says, “You look so nice today, girl!” Answering with “You’re just saying that because you can’t see me close up!” is a bit funny, but the truth is you do look nice.

There’s no need to pretend you don’t or act as though they are blind. You put in effort. You look good. Someone noticed. Thanks is enough.

Manners in a Disconnected World

Equipping parents with a simple, consistent approach to teaching and reinforcing good manners so that their child naturally incorporates polite behavior into daily life.

Start Now

2. It makes it easier to compliment others.

One of my dearest friends is Scottish. It wasn’t normal to freely compliment one another in her friendship circles, but when we were roomies (5 of us), we complimented each other all the time. She couldn’t take a compliment for the longest, but eventually she was giving and receiving positive praise all the time. If you have issues receiving compliments you’ll assume others do too and miss out on so many opportunities to bring encouragement to others.

why you need to learn to take a compliment

3. It helps prevent image issues.

Please, for the sake of your girls, do not ever respond to a compliment or initiate a statement by mentioning you (a) hate your body, (2) think you’re fat, and (d) wish you looked like someone else. Honestly. Just don’t. What with all the Victoria’s Secret floor to ceiling supermodels and the oh-so-ridiculous butt cheek hanging out of Daisy Duke trend, your daughter will start noticing with society thinks is pretty soon enough.

When someone takes the time to compliment something about you, don’t turn it around and insult yourself in response. If your girls see you do this they will start doing the same. After all, some daughters didn’t know their mothers were fat, ugly, and horrible until she said so.

4. It’s okay to do things well.

Australia has a phenomenon called the tall poppy syndrome. A poppy is a flower, and this phenomenon basically says, any one flower that grows up taller than the rest needs its top lopped off. Meaning, don’t let anyone else feel too superior you better put them back in their place. I think that’s stupid. Really, it’s okay to do things well. If you keep a nice neat home and someone compliments you, just say thanks. You don’t have to say, “It usually looks like a bomb went off in here!” to make them feel better. Especially if it isn’t true.

If your food is out of this world and people rave about your recipe, just say “I’m glad you like it.” There’s no need for a “Oh it was just a good recipe. I’m crap in the kitchen.” This sends mixed signals to your kids and it’s far more effort.

5 Exceptions to the Rule You Must Teach Your Kids

Healthy Minds, Happy Homes

Start Now

5. It’s insulting to deflect compliments.

I remember sitting at a table with 4 girls sometime after high school. We were talking generally then complimented one girl on her appearance. She proceeded to tell us we were wrong, and started complaining about how she’d gotten fat. She was, however, still wearing her Size 2 jeans. I looked around at the other girls at the table, all of us bigger than a Size 2, and thought how her inability to accept a compliment has now made us all a bit uncomfortable.

She may well have more body fat than last year, but if she thinks her size 2 frame is too big to be pretty then what must she think of the rest of us? Thank you would have been better. And I might not have ordered that $10 salad I didn’t really want.

But just in case you’re scared…

We’re not in middle school anymore, okay? It’s unlikely someone will pay a compliment, you’ll accept it graciously, and they’ll come back with “Ha, psych! I really think you’re gross! Hahahah” while pointing a finger.

When someone takes the time and makes the effort to pay you a compliment, particularly if it’s your own child...

Even if you don’t think it’s true…

Especially if you don’t feel worthy of praise…

Take that compliment as a lifeline, look that person square in the eye, and say, “Thank you.”

It’s that easy.

When motherhood changes how you think

If you have Type A tendencies like me (and I’m sure you are happier if you don’t) then you know that the transition to motherhood was jarring. Not because it was hard to have a baby, although it is, but because suddenly the ability to control every little thing was a distant memory. Or rather, we came to realize that we never could, can’t, and never will be able to control everything though we might give ourselves hernias trying.

I look back on the days when I could accomplish so much in so few hours with some nostalgia. The done section of my to-do list is so much shorter now, even when I know that I was extremely productive on any given day. To help nurture my ever-evaporating sanity and to come to terms with my season of life, I have had to redefine progress in my life.

1. The setting isn’t the same.

I’m not a lone adult with endless time to look after my own needs, wants, desires, whims and fancies. If I feel like a leisurely and spontaneous run or going to the coffee shop to sit and read for an hour or two, well, I laugh. I laugh because it just ain’t happening. Sure, I can plan those things into my week, but with small humans to look after most of my spontaneity (let’s be honest, I didn’t begin with much) has gone by the wayside.

I am a stay-at-home mom who also works a few hours a day. I have children who still take long naps. It is neither relaxing nor enjoyable to take four children 4 years of age and under to a coffee shop when they don’t drink coffee, care about reading a newspaper or value other’s desire for silence. Redefining progress now means realizing that the setting and the situation are different now than they were 4 years ago in my life.

Read: Stay at home mom resume

Read These While You’re At It

What Moms Need to Know About Reward Systems

How to give something that won’t wear out

Tips to unplug and be with your kids

2. Children move at their own pace.

This morning we were doing chores. By that I mean I was vacuuming, one was pretending to use the dustpan and sweep, and the other was dusting the carpet. I laughed a bit because I genuinely expected them to just do the chores I’d assigned them without help or supervision. I quickly realized that the fact they were even lingering around was good participation on their part and so I helped them do their jobs and we moved on. Today, progress was not that my 4 and 3 year olds successfully dusted and swept, but that they were willing to help. They will learn in their own way at their own pace, I am simply in charge of giving the opportunity.

Read: Surprising things 2 & 3 year olds can do on their own

3. Capacity has changed.

I keep thinking I’m pregnant again because I’m so tired (I’m not). 3 out of 4 are sleeping through the night and I even take a 20 minute disco nap in the afternoons and yet, I am exhausted. Being a tired mom is hard work. Since I’m exhausted and there are so many hours in the day, my capacity has changed. It isn’t that I’m able to get less done, per se, but the things I do get done require more emotional and mental energy than before.

This is even outside of the home. Playing with my children, being with them, watching them, cooking, keeping the house clean (again, redefining clean) and working a few hours a day pretty much takes up my available capacity. I still need a few hours to unwind and refresh.

Read: How to keep a house tidy when you have small children

4. The virtue is in the mean.

I believe it’s Aristotle that said that the virtue is in the mean. Meaning, some days we feel like Super Woman and some days we feel like Horrible Woman, but really, on average we are doing pretty good. In the past almost everyday was a day where I’d pat myself on the back for accomplishing my goals and crossing off my to-do list. Now, if I do 75% of my to-do list then I feel good and my to-do list is half as long as it used to be. But, on the whole, I am going somewhere.

I am meeting my family’s needs. I am raising children who are a pleasure to be around. I am feeding, clothing and nurturing small humans. Some days are bad. Some days are great. On the bad days I don’t think that I’m a failure at life. On the bad days I look to the good days and remember, the virtue is in the mean.

The Many Hats of a Mom

Moms have to be everything to everyone. Well, not really, but it can sure seem that way! Here are some of the many hats that a mother has to wear.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a mom is that you are never bored. There’s little downtime. There’s no lollygagging on the sidelines wondering when you’ll get back in the game. It’s all hands on deck but, really, you only have two hands so you just gotta be in it to win it. Read my resume for the stay at home mom to feel better about your skill set. Oh and while you’re at it… learn to take a compliment.

Here’s some of the roles (hats) that we mothers play (wear). And, just so you aren’t reading this thinking “What about dads?” just know that fathers and grandparents play many of these roles too. And some of these are short term and some are longer term, the big picture.

Comforter and Nurturer

I was going to put Boo Boo Kisser, but didn’t want to downplay the importance of this. We know that love is the foundation of the family, but do we also make a point of nurturing our children spirit, soul, and body? That sounds fancy, but really it means nurturing their emotions, body and their spiritual growth.

Protector

I’ve felt it since before I even knew I was pregnant with my first. I was, unbeknownst to me, pregnant and watching a movie. It was August Rush if I remember correctly. I started to feel this overwhelming feeling of protectiveness and thought it odd at the time. A few weeks later when I found out I was pregnant, I instantly went back to that feeling. I’ve had dreams where I’ve defended my kids from intruders (is that weird?). I truly feel like a lioness who’d do anything to protect her cubs. For an awesome book on this read Lioness Arising.

Enforcer

Sounds a tad harsh, but I don’t mean it that way. A mother has to enforce many things throughout the days and nights. She enforces manners, meal times, routines, good behavior, proper choices, and her family values.

Setting Your Family Pace

Start Now

Empowerer

To empower means to make someone stronger and more confident, and isn’t that exactly what mothers aim to do? Teach our children how to do things on their own. Help them to become good decision makers and build self-confidence.

Empathizer

Sometimes when our children are really letting out their feelings, one of the best things we can do is to empathize with them. This doesn’t mean allowing bad behavior or raising spoiled kids. It simply means helping them feel understood.